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− | Usain Bolt: The Fastest Human Alive
| + | Fastest Human Alive |
− | ***The title just needed more specificity and flare. Or it would have been fine with "The Fastest Human Alive."; Fastest Human Alive
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− | Encyclopædia Britannica writer, Kara Rodgers, defines speed as "the rate where an object moves through time."
| + | Speed is the rate where an object moves through time. |
− | ***Amazing opening, however, since you are defining something, you'll need to state a source.; Speed is the rate where an object moves through time.
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− | Usain Bolt, also known as the fastest man alive, set a world record in the 100-meter dash with 9.58 seconds.
| + | The fastest man alive, also known as Usain Bolt, set a world record in the 100 meter dash with 9.58 seconds. |
− | ***I say the first part of this sentence should be swapped. Usain is his name and he is known by his nickname. Also, I added a hyphen between "100" and "meter."; The fastest man alive, also known as Usain Bolt, set a world record in the 100 meter dash with 9.58 seconds.
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− | If calculated correctly, that's faster than the average traffic speed in some cities.
| + | If calculated that's faster than average car traffic in some cities. |
− | ***I assume that there is a or two missing word here that would make the sentence more understandable. I added "correctly" and "the." I removed "car" and added "speed" behind "traffic."; If calculated that's faster than average car traffic in some cities.
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− | Because of his height and size, Usain can run a lot easier with the use of his long strides.
| + | Because of his height and size, it makes Usain run a lot easier with the use of his long strides. |
− | ***I thought the wording in this sentence could have been better. I removed "it makes" and added "can" behind "Usain." Another option instead of "can" would be "has the ability to."; Because of his height and size, it makes Usain run a lot easier with the use of his long strides.
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− | With that in consideration, no other person has beaten his record at this moment.
| + | In conclusion, no other person has beat his record at this moment. |
− | ***It is possible that you could've had a stronger conclusion to really put a bow on what you said. I decided to omit "in conclusion" and use "with that in consideration" instead. I changed the verb form of "beat" to "beaten."; In conclusion, no other person has beat his record at this moment.
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− | Source: https://www.britannica.com/story/how-fast-is-the-worlds-fastest-human
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− | Edited by Michael Morrow
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− | Be sure to watch out for missing words. When words are missing, readers could have a difficult time reading what you wrote. Try to write stronger conclusions by reflecting on what you wrote earlier.
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− | Usain Bolt: The Fastest Human Alive
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− | Encyclopædia Britannica writer, Kara Rodgers, defines speed as "the rate where an object moves through time." Usain Bolt, also known as the fastest man alive, set a world record in the 100-meter dash with 9.58 seconds. If calculated correctly, that's faster than the average traffic speed in some cities. Because of his height and size, Usain can run a lot easier with the use of his long strides. With that in consideration, no other person has beaten his record at this moment.
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| Source: https://www.britannica.com/story/how-fast-is-the-worlds-fastest-human | | Source: https://www.britannica.com/story/how-fast-is-the-worlds-fastest-human |
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| Species Going Extinct Due to Human Interaction | | Species Going Extinct Due to Human Interaction |
− | ***I made this the title because of the original being a question. ; How do Species become Endangered? | + | ***I made this the title because of the original being a question. ;How do Species become Endangered? |
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| In the world, there are over 7,000 species that are endangered. | | In the world, there are over 7,000 species that are endangered. |