Pema's GTK Article Page
Hi Pema, you cannot use the sentences from the original articles. That is not the assignments for getting better. You need to paraphrase the sentences in your own words. This will help you for the SAT. Good job doing it though. - Mr. Steve

Pema Sherpa 11-19-18
Harmful Effects of Caffeine
Usually when researching about caffeine it is most likely that you will not find the negative effects it has on the human body.
Large amounts of caffeine consumption can lead to high blood pressure or even death.
People who consume caffeine beverages on the daily often report an upset stomach later on the day.
Study showed that large consumtions of caffeine may reduce the chance for a woman to get pregnant, by 27%.
Certain amounts of caffeine can lead to an overdose which is very rear, if you don't measure the amount of caffeine you are consuming you will most likely put your life at risk.
Although many people may say that caffeine is fine and it helps them go through the day, remember that there are many harmful effects that have been caused by consuming too much caffeine.

Harmful Effects of Caffeine
Usually when researching about caffeine it is most likely that you will not find the negative effects it has on the human body.

      • The world "usually" dampens the effect of this sentence. Dropping it will create a stronger sentence.
      • A comma should be included after the word "caffeine."
      • Corrected sentence: When researching about caffeine, it is most likely that you will not find the negative effects it has on the human body.


Large amounts of caffeine consumption can lead to high blood pressure or even death.
People who consume caffeine beverages on the daily often report an upset stomach later on the day.

      • "On the day" should be replaced with "on in the day."
      • Corrected sentence: People who consume caffeine beverages on the daily often report an upset stomach later on in the day.


Study showed that large consumtions of caffeine may reduce the chance for a woman to get pregnant, by 27%.

      • Instead of simply "study," you should say "one study."
      • Rather than say "large consumptions of caffeine," try saying "regularly consuming large quanities of caffeine."
      • The comma at the end of this sentence can be removed.
      • Corrected sentence: One study showed that regularly consuming large quantities of caffeine may reduce the chance for a woman to get pregnant by 27%.


Certain amounts of caffeine can lead to an overdose which is very rear, if you don't measure the amount of caffeine you are consuming you will most likely put your life at risk.

      • Correct the spelling of "rare."
      • The use of a comma here is considered a comma splice--when a comma is used to join two independent clauses. It should be replaced with a semicolon.
      • Saying "you will most likely put your life at risk" comes off as a bit extreme. Instead, try saying "you could be putting your life at risk."
      • There should be a comma after the word "consuming."
      • Corrected sentence: Certain amounts of caffeine can lead to an overdose which is very rare; if you don't measure the amount of caffeine you are consuming, you could be putting your life at risk.


Although many people may say that caffeine is fine and it helps them go through the day, remember that there are many harmful effects that have been caused by consuming too much caffeine.

      • Rather than say "Although many people may say that caffeine is fine and it helps them go through the day," try saying "Although many people consider caffeine to be fine and even rely on it to get through the day."
      • Corrected sentence: Although many people consider caffeine to be fine and even rely on it to get through the day, remember that there are many harmful effects that have been caused by consuming too much caffeine.


Harmful Effects of Caffeine
When researching about caffeine, it is most likely that you will not find the negative effects it has on the human body. Large amounts of caffeine consumption can lead to high blood pressure or even death. People who consume caffeine beverages on the daily often report an upset stomach later on in the day. One study showed that regularly consuming large quantities of caffeine may reduce the chance for a woman to get pregnant by 27%. Certain amounts of caffeine can lead to an overdose which is very rare; if you don't measure the amount of caffeine you are consuming, you could be putting your life at risk. Although many people consider caffeine to be fine and even rely on it to get through the day, remember that there are many harmful effects that have been caused by consuming too much caffeine.

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

Pema Sherpa 11-2-18
The Struggles of being a Migrant
Due to violence and harsh conditions in El Salvador, migrants try to flee up north. Many Salvadoran migrants would meet up with other caravans to get water for the trip to the U.S. border. 17 year old, Sandra, wants to attend college but since she lives in a neighborhood where gangs have made the lives of the people living there harsh. With the long and harsh journey many people left their own children back at home, they did not want to risk their lives while on the journey to the U.S. Many Salvadoran migrants struggled to get across the borders because it was hard for them to get into a caravan. Although there may have been many hardships through their journey, the Salvadoran and Honduran migrants pushed their way to get across the border and start a new life of opportunity

The Struggles of being a Migrant

      • Capitalize "Being".


Due to violence and harsh conditions in El Salvador, migrants try to flee up north.
Many Salvadoran migrants would meet up with other caravans to get water for the trip to the U.S. border.

      • Change this to present tense. Do this by dropping the word "would."
      • Corrected sentence: Many Salvadoran migrants meet up with other caravans to get water for the trip to the U.S. border.


17 year old, Sandra, wants to attend college but since she lives in a neighborhood where gangs have made the lives of the people living there harsh.

      • A comma isn't necessary before and after "Sandra."
      • This sentence is incomplete. Drop the word "since" to fix this problem.
      • "A neighborhood where gangs have made the lives of the people living there harsh" is more wordy than it needs to be. Try: "a harsh neighborhood due to gangs."
      • Corrected sentence: 17 year old Sandra wants to attend college but she lives in a harsh neighborhood due to gangs.


With the long and harsh journey many people left their own children back at home, they did not want to risk their lives while on the journey to the U.S.

      • Since you have just used the word "harsh" in the previous sentence, switch it out for a synonym. Try: "hard."
      • The first part of this sentence makes more sense if you switch the wording to, "Many people left their children back at home because of the long and hard journey."
      • Your use of a comma here is considered a comma splice, where a comma is used to join two independent clauses. Instead, use a semicolon.
      • Corrected sentence: Many people left their children back at home because of the long and hard journey; they did not want to risk their lives while on the journey to the U.S.


Many Salvadoran migrants struggled to get across the borders because it was hard for them to get into a caravan.
Although there may have been many hardships through their journey, the Salvadoran and Honduran migrants pushed their way to get across the border and start a new life of opportunity

      • "Throughout" is more powerful in this circumstance than "through."
      • A less wordy way of saying "pushed their way to get across the border and start a new life of opportunity," is to say "pushed their way across the border to start a new life of opportunity." It is just slightly more effective.
      • Corrected sentence: Although there may have been many hardships throughout their journey, the Salvadoran and Honduran migrants pushed their way across the border to start a new life of opportunity.



The Struggles of Being a Migrant
Due to violence and harsh conditions in El Salvador, migrants try to flee up north.
Many Salvadoran migrants meet up with other caravans to get water for the trip to the U.S. border.
17 year old Sandra wants to attend college but she lives in a harsh neighborhood due to gangs.
Many people left their children back at home because of the long and hard journey; they did not want to risk their lives while on the journey to the U.S.
Many Salvadoran migrants struggled to get across the borders because it was hard for them to get into a caravan.
Although there may have been many hardships throughout their journey, the Salvadoran and Honduran migrants pushed their way across the border to start a new life of opportunity.

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

Pema Sherpa 10-25-18
Water Crisis in India
India is now facing their worst water shortage in history. More than 20 cities will gulp their entire aquifers dry within the next two years. This means that about hundreds of millions of people will be living without groundwater. Sustainable water development in India has seen slow progress in recent years. The governments idea in fixing the problem is to build more dams, they already have about 5,000 dams, and it won't make a difference. Poor irrigation techniques and severe contamination of groundwater have brought India to the edge of this crisis. India must be strong and fight through this crisis, eventually they'll have enough resources to fix the water shortage problem presently.

Water Crisis in India
India is now facing their worst water shortage in history.
More than 20 cities will gulp their entire aquifers dry within the next two years.
This means that about hundreds of millions of people will be living without groundwater.

      • The word "about" is unnecessary here. This means that hundreds of millions of people will be living without groundwater.


Sustainable water development in India has seen slow progress in recent years.
The governments idea in fixing the problem is to build more dams, they already have about 5,000 dams, and it won't make a difference.

      • "Governments" needs an apostrophe to show ownership.
      • Your use of a comma here is considered a comma splice. Two independent clauses should be joined instead by a semicolon.
      • Saying "it won't make a difference," is an assumption, which should be avoided. Instead, say something like "so this likely won't make a difference."
      • Corrected sentence: The government's idea in fixing the problem is to build more dams; they already have about 5,000 dams, so this likely won't make a difference.


Poor irrigation techniques and severe contamination of groundwater have brought India to the edge of this crisis.
India must be strong and fight through this crisis, eventually they'll have enough resources to fix the water shortage problem presently.

      • Again, your comma usage here is a comma splice. Switch it for a semicolon.
      • You have a conflict of tenses here. "Eventually" indicates that this occurs in the future, while "presently" indicates otherwise. I would suggest dropping the word "presently."
      • Corrected sentence: India must be strong and fight through this crisis; eventually they'll have enough resources to fix the water shortage problem.


Water Crisis in India
India is now facing their worst water shortage in history. More than 20 cities will gulp their entire aquifers dry within the next two years. This means that hundreds of millions of people will be living without groundwater. Sustainable water development in India has seen slow progress in recent years. The government's idea in fixing the problem is to build more dams; they already have about 5,000 dams, so this likely won't make a difference. Poor irrigation techniques and severe contamination of groundwater have brought India to the edge of this crisis. India must be strong and fight through this crisis; eventually they'll have enough resources to fix the water shortage problem.

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Pema Sherpa 10-25-18
The Dangers of Earthquakes
A magnitude 8.2 earthquake struck southern Mexico, killing dozens and injuring hundreds. The event of the quake took place in a matter of tens of seconds, and it released a great amount of energy. The deep quakes can create strong shaking over a wide area that can level plenty of buildings. One earthquake was the one that took place beneath the Chilean town of Chilean in 1939, the earthquake had killed at least 30,000 people. Earthquakes are a force that is not to be messed with, as you may have already herd, they can cause mass damage and end lives in an instant. These days in case there is an incoming earthquake, we have the technology to detect the movements of the plates which can tell us whats going o under ground.

The Dangers of Earthquakes
A magnitude 8.2 earthquake struck southern Mexico, killing dozens and injuring hundreds.

      • This is debatable, but in this instance I would capitalize "Southern" because it is part of a proper noun. A magnitude 8.2 earthquake struck Southern Mexico, killing dozens and injuring hundreds.


The event of the quake took place in a matter of tens of seconds, and it released a great amount of energy.

      • The pronoun "it" is unnecessary here, since we already know what you are referring to. The event of the quake took place in a matter of tens of seconds, and released a great amount of energy.


The deep quakes can create strong shaking over a wide area that can level plenty of buildings.
One earthquake was the one that took place beneath the Chilean town of Chilean in 1939, the earthquake had killed at least 30,000 people.

      • "Was the one" is repetitive and can be removed.
      • Chilean is not a town in Chile, so when referring to this particular earthquake, I would simply say "a Chilean town."
      • Your use of a comma here is considered a comma splice.
      • Corrected sentence: One earthquake took place in a Chilean town in 1939, killing at least 30,000 people.


Earthquakes are a force that is not to be messed with, as you may have already herd, they can cause mass damage and end lives in an instant.

      • I would remove "that is" as it is unnecessary.
      • "As you may have already heard" is unnecessary and can be removed from the sentence to create a smoother read.
      • Corrected sentence: Earthquakes are a force not to be messed with; they can cause mass damage and end lives in an instant.


These days in case there is an incoming earthquake, we have the technology to detect the movements of the plates which can tell us whats going o under ground.

      • I would change the words "in case there is an incoming earthquake" to "in the case of an incoming earthquake." It is just slightly more professional.
      • I would also move these words to the end of the sentence.
      • There should be a comma after the word "plates" and before "which."
      • "Whats" needs an apostrophe--"what's."
      • Corrected sentence: These days, we have the technology to detect the movements of the plates, which can tell us what's going on under the ground in the case of an incoming earthquake.



The Dangers of Earthquakes
A magnitude 8.2 earthquake struck Southern Mexico, killing dozens and injuring hundreds. The event of the quake took place in a matter of tens of seconds, and released a great amount of energy. The deep quakes can create strong shaking over a wide area that can level plenty of buildings. One earthquake took place in a Chilean town in 1939, killing at least 30,000 people. Earthquakes are a force not to be messed with; they can cause mass damage and end lives in an instant. These days, we have the technology to detect the movements of the plates, which can tell us what's going on under the ground in the case of an incoming earthquake.

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

Pema Sherpa 10-18-18
Adventures Down Deep
National Geographic cave photographer, Robbie Shone,and his assistant Jeff Wade had joined a Russian expedition to explore and photograph Veryovkina, the deepest-known cave on Earth.
Their was a rumble that had occurred while the crew members were diving down into the cave.The entire cave began to shake as if by a earthquake.
Their is an enormous flood that covers scrambling for their lives.
Shone says that the sound was nothing he had ever herd before.
The rumbling coming from the depths of the cave was caused by the flood that was building within the cave.
As a result of the caves starting to flood up the cavers and Shone had to return to the surface due the fact that it would've been dangerous for anyone to stay down in the cave.

Adventures Down Deep
National Geographic cave photographer, Robbie Shone,and his assistant Jeff Wade had joined a Russian expedition to explore and photograph Veryovkina, the deepest-known cave on Earth.

      • The commas before and after "Robbie Shone" can be removed. If Robbie Shone was the only National Geographic cave photographer, then there would need to be commas, but that isn't the case here.
      • Corrected sentence: National Geographic cave photographer Robbie Shone and his assistant Jeff Wade had joined a Russian expedition to explore and photograph Veryovkina, the deepest-known cave on Earth.


Their was a rumble that had occurred while the crew members were diving down into the cave.

      • Incorrect form of "there."
      • Remove the word "had" in "had occurred."
      • Corrected sentence: There was a rumble that occurred while the crew members were diving down into the cave.


The entire cave began to shake as if by a earthquake.

      • "a earthquake" should be "an earthquake."
      • Corrected sentence: The entire cave began to shake as if by an earthquake.


Their is an enormous flood that covers scrambling for their lives.

      • Incorrect form of "there."
      • This sentence is in present tense, while the rest of the paragraph has been recounting a past event. Switch "is" for "was."
      • Replace "covers" with "sent Shone and Wade."
      • Corrected sentence: There was an enormous flood that sent Shone and Wade scrambling for their lives.


Shone says that the sound was nothing he had ever herd before.

      • Incorrect spelling of "heard."
      • A stronger word to replace "says" is "recalls."
      • Rather than "nothing he had ever heard before," try saying "like nothing he had ever heard before."
      • Corrected sentence: Shone recalls the sound being like nothing he had ever heard before.


The rumbling coming from the depths of the cave was caused by the flood that was building within the cave.
As a result of the caves starting to flood up the cavers and Shone had to return to the surface due the fact that it would've been dangerous for anyone to stay down in the cave.

      • This sentence is a bit wordier than it needs to be. "As a result" can be left, but "of the caves starting to flood up" can be removed.
      • Who is "the cavers"? The paragraph has only introduced Shone and Wade, so that's who should be referred to here.
      • The words "for anyone" can be removed.
      • "Due the fact" should be "due to the fact."
      • Corrected sentence: As a result, Shone and Wade had to return to the surface due to the fact that it would've been dangerous to stay down in the cave.



Adventures Down Deep
National Geographic cave photographer Robbie Shone and his assistant Jeff Wade had joined a Russian expedition to explore and photograph Veryovkina, the deepest-known cave on Earth. There was a rumble that occurred while the crew members were diving down into the cave. The entire cave began to shake as if by an earthquake. There was an enormous flood that sent Shone and Wade scrambling for their lives. Shone recalls the sound being like nothing he had ever heard before. The rumbling coming from the depths of the cave was caused by the flood that was building within the cave. As a result, Shone and Wade had to return to the surface due to the fact that it would've been dangerous to stay down in the cave.

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

Pema Sherpa 10-6-18
The Influence of Beards
The beard has been a common trend through history.
Historically beards have come in many types of shapes and foms such as curled, dyed, waxed, braided, gilded, scented, starched, taxed, and forbidden.
The president, Abraham Lincoln, grew his famous beard at the suggestion of a little girl who lived in Westfield, New York.
Mostly fashion gets moits influence from wars, and usually wars discourage many men to grow their beards.
In wars or battle, beards were often used as a handy handle for the enemy to use against someone in combat.
As a result, beards have become very popular through history but also dangerous in the wars that took place all those many years in history.

The Influence of Beards
The beard has been a common trend through history.

      • Replace "through" with "throughout."
      • Corrected sentence: The beard has been a common trend throughout history.


Historically beards have come in many types of shapes and foms such as curled, dyed, waxed, braided, gilded, scented, starched, taxed, and forbidden.

      • There should be a comma after the word "historically."
      • "Types of" is unnecessary here.
      • Incorrect spelling of "forms."
      • There should be a comma before "such as."
      • The sentence would benefit from adding a colon after "such as."
      • Corrected sentence: Historically, beards have come in many shapes and forms, such as: curled, dyed, waxed, braided, gilded, scented, starched, taxed, and forbidden.


The president, Abraham Lincoln, grew his famous beard at the suggestion of a little girl who lived in Westfield, New York.

      • There does not need to be a comma before and after "Abraham Lincoln" because he is not the current president.
      • Corrected sentence: The president Abraham Lincoln grew his famous beard at the suggestion of a little girl who lived in Westfield, New York.


Mostly fashion gets moits influence from wars, and usually wars discourage many men to grow their beards.

      • Try replacing the first part of this sentence--"mostly fashion gets moits influence from wars"--with "Much of fashion influences at that time came from wars."
      • "Many men" can just be "men."
      • Corrected sentence: Much of fashion influences at that time came from wars, and usually wars discourage many men to grow their beards.


In wars or battle, beards were often used as a handy handle for the enemy to use against someone in combat.

      • "Handy handle" is repetitive, and the word "handy" can be removed.
      • Corrected sentence: In wars or battle, beards were often used as a handle for the enemy to use against someone in combat.


As a result, beards have become very popular through history but also dangerous in the wars that took place all those many years in history.

      • "Through" should be "throughout."
      • There should be a comma after the word "history."
      • "While" is a better substitute for "but" in this instance. Because of this switch, the word "being" should be included before "dangerous."
      • "All those many years" is repetitive. Try removing the word "many."
      • "In history" can be removed from the end, because it is also a bit repetitive.
      • Corrected sentence: As a result, beards have become very popular throughout history, while also being dangerous in the wars that took place all those years.



The Influence of Beards
The beard has been a common trend throughout history. Historically, beards have come in many shapes and forms, such as: curled, dyed, waxed, braided, gilded, scented, starched, taxed, and forbidden. The president Abraham Lincoln grew his famous beard at the suggestion of a little girl who lived in Westfield, New York. Much of fashion influences at that time came from wars, and usually wars discourage many men to grow their beards. In wars or battle, beards were often used as a handle for the enemy to use against someone in combat. As a result, beards have become very popular throughout history, while also being dangerous in the wars that took place all those years.

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf