This is Mr. Steve. You must condense your article to:
1. Headline
2. Topic sentence
3. Fact 1 sentence
4. Fact 2 sentence
5. Fact 3 sentence
6. Fact 4 sentence
7.Concluding sentence
8. Source: (The URL - the website that you got the news articles from. Like this: Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/long-sleeves-on-doctors-white-coats-may-spread-germs/ )
Try to edit the articles again ONLY as I explained above.
Having Rain Is Just as Bad As Having A Drought
Due to climate change, there has been many droughts and heavy rainfall throughout America.
- Watch for subject verb agreement. You were missing your verb, so I added has in. There is no need to have a double preposition, so I removed in and left throughout.
Droughts have served as threatening force to nature, as well as extreme rain.
- There is no need to to turn a subject into a verb. As a subject you do not need to add -ing, where it will turn the word into a verb. Change: raining -> rain
For instance, raining in the Northeast has become harsher, increasing by 53%, since 1996.
As stated in the text, "Many people are already plagued by the persistent beep of flash flood warnings, or the stench of sewage backing up into the basement."
Rain can cause serious damages to towns, such as flooding, pollution, and property destruction.
In conclusion, climate change has been affecting precipitation across the nation.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/climate-change-extreme-rain
Edited By | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
Marijuana
- Your title is too vague. We could possibly change the title to Legalization of Marijuana. This lets the reader be more insightful of a more directed topic.
There is some controversy about the marijuana policy in some states on whether to make marijuana legal. (There is controversy in some states if marijuana should be legal.)
- You could begin with eliminating some unnecessary word choices, for example I eliminated some in the sentence. There is no need to say marijuana twice in the sentence. I combined the sentence to say "... if marijuana should be legal."
To begin with, marijuana was at first a titled Schedule I substance under the CSA.
(At first, marijuana was labeled as a Schedule I substance under the CSA.)
- There is no need to add two introductory phrases in a sentence, one is enough. So, I combined your two phrases to At first,... I also changed titled to labeled, I used this word choice change to have the sentence flow smoother. You should also define what the CSA is, then comma CSA.
There are some potential public health benefits if marijuana is legalized.
For example, medical marijuana is legalized in some states because it aids people with some illnesses.
( In some states, medical marijuana was legalized to aid people in some illnesses.)
- There is no need for an introductory phrase to start the sentence. So, I started the sentence "In some states..." There is also no need for the conjunction because and just keep with the preposition.
However, there can be negative impacts for users, if the medical marijuana is not used in great care.
- So I moved the words "medical marijuana" in the sentence to ensure there is a correct subject verb agreement. It was not completely necessary to have it in front of users, when you can use the subject in the latter part of the sentence.
In conclusion, before deciding to legalize marijuana, one has to consider about the health benefits.
- I changed legalization to legalize to keep the verb tenses correct. I also changed the end part of the sentence so, the correct word choice will be consider.
Source: https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp1805432?query=featured_secondary
- This source does not match the topic of your article.
Edited by | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
Ban on New Uber and Lyft Cars
The latest ban is causing turmoil among New York City. A place where almost everyone relies on public transportation.
- I broke up the sentence into two sentences. This will allow the summary to flow smoother.
Firstly, this ban hinders Uber's and Lyft's to expand with new cars in New York city.
- I changed the to New York City. It is better to use a proper noun than a vague article of speech.
To be specific, these vehicles need to be licensed by New York City's Taxi Limousine Commission, TLC.
- When you want to use an abbreviation of an organization, include the full name of the organization first, then the abbreviation.
People have different views on this new ban.
For instance, those on the opposing side say that Uber's and Lyft's are very helpful to people.
On the other hand, advocates of the ban indicate that it is for the better, such as decreasing congestion and pay for the "for-hire" drivers.
- Do not use contractions in a formal setting. I recommend to make a change after the final and. This will allow a proper sentence structure, you are missing a verb.
To conclude, this year, some New Yorker's who depend on the ride-hailing apps will have to rely on the train, bus, or regular green and yellow taxis.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/new-york-city-bans-new-uber-and-lyft-vehicles
Edited by | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
Screens Affect Your Sight
Bright lights from a screen can damage one's eyesight.
In a spectrum of light, the shorter the wavelength of the light travels, the more harmful it is.
For example, blue light can kill and damage photo receptors in your eyes, in which blindness may occur.
- Added a comma to separate your prepositional phrases. I also changed can to may to have a better word choice and sentence flow.
As stated in the article, "...prolonged exposure to the 445 nano meter shortwave, called "blue light" can trigger damage irreversible damage in eye cells."
Another place blue light occurs is in sunlight. Looking directly into the sun for a long time can ruin your eyes, as it contains forms of UV, infrared and visible light rays.
- I replaced your starter word with a phrase to show more details about the point the article is trying to prove. I also split the sentence, because it started to become a run-on sentence.
In conclusion, you should not spend too much time on staring at screens, just like you would not stare at the sun.
- I kept with the same subject with screens rather than electronics. I also added an ending part to the sentence to end with a bang.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/screens-killing-eyes-blue-light
Edited by | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
Why (almost) Everyone Needs To Stretch When They Exercise
- DO NOT copy the title of the article and use it as your own. Be original and create your own title.
There are two different reasons for exercising which are recovery, when one is trying to decrease injury, increase strength or accelerate muscle recovery, and remodeling, when losing weight and improving one's mood.
- Based off your title would you change exercising to stretching? You also wrote that you would list two different reasons. You listed more than two, please clarify and change.
Firstly, stretching does not aid in waste removal nor accelerate muscle recovery, which occurs when exercising for recovery.
On the other hand, stretching as remodeling is effective due to its assistance in helping the body's response effort to exercising.
- I added the word response in the latter part of the sentence to add more emphasis and keep subject verb agreement.
To be specific, stretching before exercising for remodeling is more beneficial.
As stated in the article, "It will help with muscle remodeling, connective tissue strengthening, range-of-motion improvement, joint alignment, and potentially blood flow during subsequent exercise—all beneficial effects in the long run."
To sum up, people who exercise to lose weight and improve their moods should stretch.
- Rewrite the concluding sentence, it does not relate to the topic of this article.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/need-to-stretch
Edited by | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
The Secret Origins of Blue Diamonds Are Finally Coming to the Surface
- DO NOT copy the title of the article and use it as your own. Be original and create your own title.
According to the article, scientists scrutinized blue diamonds carefully, they discovered blue diamonds form even deeper down than the previously estimate.
- Watch the use of adverbs. When using adverbs, make sure they end with appropriate -ly.
- This is not a proper topic sentence, this is more of a fact sentence. Please write a proper topic sentence.
To be specific, blue diamonds form four times deeper below the Earth's surface.
Secondly, theses diamonds get their blue color from boron, which scientist, Evan Smith, believes the boron could have traveled from a sinking ocean tectonic plate, all the way down to the lower mantle.
In addition, blue diamonds are really rare.
Moreover, since blue diamonds are formed way deep down past the surface, scientists believe that the only way for these diamonds to travel up to the surface is if it is moved by ocean water.
- I added the adverb past to create a better flow for the sentence.
- This is not a proper concluding sentence, this is more of a fact sentence. Please write a proper concluding sentence.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/blue-diamond-boron-origin
- For the source, keep it on page 1 or the start of the article, not where you finished reading the article.
Edited by | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
Did Scientists Discover a New Shape?
- DO NOT copy the title of the article and use it as your own. Be original and create your own title. A sample you could use is New Shape May Be Upcoming.
The discovery of the new shape, scutoid, in the epithhelial cells making up human skin), has caused a great deal for many to think about.
- Watch the subject verb agreement and the use of your prepositions. So, I changed the end of the sentence to for many to think about to keep with proper sentence structure.
To begin with, people wonder whether there can be new shapes. In the same manner, according to Matthew Gursky, a professor of mathematics, what matters is how the "paper" defines it.
To be specific, the "paper" discusses about how the scutoid is relevant to biological objects, like the epithelial cells.
When scientists stated a shape being "new", "it means that its shape that has never been mathematically described and studied".
- Be careful of with its you use, review when to use its and it's. There was no need to include of who stated it after you have written it in a previous sentence.
To sum up, the scutoid still needs to go under some questioning on whether it's a "shape" or not.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/new-shape-scutoid
- For the source, keep it on page 1 or the start of the article, not where you finished reading the article.
Edited by | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
Tickborne Diseases - Confronting a Growing Threat
- DO NOT copy the title of the article and use it as your own. Be original and create your own title.
According to the article, the number of tick borne diseases have risen rapidly. and there are no vaccines to tackle a specific pathogen.
- I changed some words to have a better sentence flow. There is no need to have "there are no vaccines..." in a topic sentence, so, I will move it to the fact sentence directly below.
To begin with, the tick borne diseases are spreading fast and there are no vaccines to tackle specific pathogens.
For instance, the B Mayonii tick has been described as a cause of Lyme disease, in the upper Midwestern United States.
- I removed the article the. When you write, you may begin to notice some words may not be necessary but the sentence will still flow. I also capitalized Midwestern because it is a proper noun, as it is a region.
However, due to the awareness and alertness, scientists and doctors have, new technology is also being explored. (... and doctors are exploring new technologies.)
- The last part of the sentence does not match with subject verb agreement. Keep your sentences precise and to the point.
As stated in the text, "One of the multiplex serologic platforms that have been developed can detect antibodies to more than 170,000 distinct epitopes, allowing researchers to distinguish eight tickborne pathogens."
To sum it all up, tick borne diseases are more likely to grow if there continues to be a lack of treatment options for those affected.
- To have a proper introductory phrase it would be to sum it all up rather than to sum up
Source: https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp1807870
Edited By | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
How To Make Sure No One Is Spying On Your Computer
- DO NOT copy the title of the article and use it as your own. Be original and create your own title.
- How does this title relate to the topic of the article summary, you have not written anything about spying on a computer.
Cyber hacking is very common nowadays.
- Is the topic about spying on computers or cyber hacking? Be more clear or fix the subject.
In order to protect information on your computer or your whole computer altogether, there are steps one should take.
- I added the word whole to add a more descriptive explanation to the sentence so it does not confuse a reader. I also added one should to develop the end of the sentence and keep it in a professional manner.
Firstly, one should secure his or her system with an upgraded and updated software.
Secondly, be wary of what you install on your computer, to prevent infections, or viruses.
Furthermore, know the warning signs.
For instance, if your computer is slowing down, it is most often a sign, that your computer is being messed with.
- Be careful with punctuation, do not have a period mid sentence, unless you are trying to separate into two sentences. Use commas or semicolons to split up longer sentences.
In summary, one should be careful what they do on their computer.
- I made the sentence precise and to the point.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/find-and-remove-spyware
Edited by | Philip Kwong
Fully Edited Article Summary:
A Parallel Universe of Clinical Trials
Clinical trials prove helpful and informational, but also controversial. William Halford, a member at Southern Illinois University, began an experiment on volunteers without permission, or consent from an institutional review board (IRB), Food and Drug Administration, or formal consent from the volunteers, according to journalists. Halford died in 2017 to cancer without publishing the results of the trial and his participants. Moreover, formal consent is needed whenever conducting an experiment, especially on patients or volunteers. These are needed because there are laws and fundamental standards for protecting patients. For instance, one needs approval from the IRB, informed consent from the participants, and to inform the risks to the participant before the start of a trial. as stated in the text, "This case opens a window into a parallel universe that spurns the current system of clinical trial oversight in the United States and supports broad right-to-try laws allowing patients access to experimental therapies." Therefore, one should research on what to do before performing clinical trials.
Source: https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp1804552
Oropharyngeal Tularemia from Freshly Pressed Grape Must
Six harvesters fell ill of "tularensis" in a vineyard. Firstly, there was an occurrence of cross-contamination in Winery 1. For instance, a harvester was the source of the cause of the cross-contamination from drinking must. According to the text, "In the multivariable analysis, we found that drinking fresh must from sort 1A was the only significant predictor for the acquisition of tularemia..." An inference was made that an infected rodent may have been pressed in with the grapes by the same harvester who drank the fresh must. As stated in the text, "We infer that an infected rodent may have been collected by the harvester and pressed with the grapes in sort 1A, thereby infecting humans through contaminated must." Therefore, mechanical harvesting can be a risky factor in which the transmission of a disease from animals to humans.
Source: https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMc1800353
Fractional-Dose Yellow Fever Vaccination — Advancing the Evidence Base
In the Democratic Republic of Congo, the yellow fever outbreak emerged a new problem. To begin with, the vaccine doses supplied from the World Health Organization (WHO) for 10.5 million people, wasn't enough. To be clearer, only 5.8 million vaccine doses from the WHO could be supplied because of regulations. Moreover, the government resolved to fractional - doses of one-fifth of the standard 0.5 ml volume of the vaccine, or 0.1 ml. However, fractional - doses should be used with caution. As stated in the text, "Average doses vary substantially among vaccine manufacturers and among product batches.." This sparked more studies to be conducted on the immunogenicity of fractional - doses. In conclusion, global vaccine coverage isn't enough for situations like this.
Source: https://www.nejm.org/doi/full/10.1056/NEJMp1803433
An Addition to Organs
Scientists believe that they may have found a possible new organ, the interstitium. To begin with, the interstitium is a network of tissues that wrap around the digestive tract. However, they rediscovered that there were fluid-filled sacs. As stated in the document, "When researchers took a closer look at this stuff with out squishing it down, that's when they identified the network of fluid-filled sacs." Additionally, organs are defined as self-contained and sufficient, but the interstitium isn't an organ yet. Moreover, if it were an organ, it could help figure out mechanisms in the body that aren't still fully understood. The author comments, "Understanding better how this system works may enable us to find new ways to treat or prevent all these diseases..." To sum up, the interstitium may be a useful piece of discovery scientists can observe to become more knowledgeable of the human body.
Source: https://www.popsci.com/interstitium-new-human-organ-anatomy
