Editor_PennyY's Portfolio Page
The snails in the story were acting like humans because they were talking like humans.Also because they had a house and adopted a child like a human. It states in the text, "Leading now a very quiet and happy life and having no children, they had adopted a little common snail, and had brought it up as their own child. But the little thing would not grow, for he was only a common snail, though his foster mother pretended to see a great improvement in him. " This shows how the snails adopted their own child and acted like a human parents. Another evidence is , ""There are drops, too," said the Mother Snail; "they come trickling down the stalks. We shall presently find it very wet here. I'm glad we have such good houses, and that the youngster has his also. There has really been more done for us than for any other creatures. Every one must see that we are superior beings. We have houses from our very birth, and the burdock forest is planted on our account. I should like to know just how far it reaches, and what there is beyond.There is nothing better than what we have here," said the Father Snail. "I wish for nothing beyond." This evidence shows how the snails are talking like humans do which comes to the conclusion that the snails are acting like humans.
The snails in the story were acting like humans because they were talking like humans.
*** Good. Add a space after the period at the end of this sentence.
Also because they had a house and adopted a child like a human.
*** “Also because they” can be shortened to “They also.”
Edited sentence: They also had a house and adopted a child like a human.
It states in the text, "Leading now a very quiet and happy life and having no children, they had adopted a little common snail, and had brought it up as their own child. But the little thing would not grow, for he was only a common snail, though his foster mother pretended to see a great improvement in him. "
*** “It states in the text” can be shortened to “The text states.” Remove the extra space before the quotation mark at the end of this sentence.
Edited sentence: The text states, "Leading now a very quiet and happy life and having no children, they had adopted a little common snail, and had brought it up as their own child. But the little thing would not grow, for he was only a common snail, though his foster mother pretended to see a great improvement in him."
This shows how the snails adopted their own child and acted like a human parents.
*** Remove “a” before “human parents.”
Edited sentence: This shows how the snails adopted their own child and acted like human parents.
Another evidence is , ""There are drops, too," said the Mother Snail; "they come trickling down the stalks. We shall presently find it very wet here. I'm glad we have such good houses, and that the youngster has his also. There has really been more done for us than for any other creatures. Every one must see that we are superior beings. We have houses from our very birth, and the burdock forest is planted on our account. I should like to know just how far it reaches, and what there is beyond.There is nothing better than what we have here," said the Father Snail. "I wish for nothing beyond."
*** Remove the space before the first comma. When there is a quote inside another quote, such as the snails speaking, add single quotation marks (‘) around the inside quotes. Add a space before “There is nothing better.”
Edited sentence: Another evidence is, "’There are drops, too,’ said the Mother Snail; ‘they come trickling down the stalks. We shall presently find it very wet here. I'm glad we have such good houses, and that the youngster has his also. There has really been more done for us than for any other creatures. Every one must see that we are superior beings. We have houses from our very birth, and the burdock forest is planted on our account. I should like to know just how far it reaches, and what there is beyond.’ ‘There is nothing better than what we have here,’ said the Father Snail. ‘I wish for nothing beyond.’”
This evidence shows how the snails are talking like humans do which comes to the conclusion that the snails are acting like humans.
*** Change “comes” to “leads.”
Edited sentence: This evidence shows how the snails are talking like humans do which leads to the conclusion that the snails are acting like humans.
*** Note where spacing has been corrected. When a character is speaking inside of a quote, add single quotation marks (‘) around the words that the character says.
Fully edited paragraph:
The snails in the story were acting like humans because they were talking like humans. They also had a house and adopted a child like a human. The text states, "Leading now a very quiet and happy life and having no children, they had adopted a little common snail, and had brought it up as their own child. But the little thing would not grow, for he was only a common snail, though his foster mother pretended to see a great improvement in him." This shows how the snails adopted their own child and acted like human parents. Another evidence is, "’There are drops, too,’ said the Mother Snail; ‘they come trickling down the stalks. We shall presently find it very wet here. I'm glad we have such good houses, and that the youngster has his also. There has really been more done for us than for any other creatures. Every one must see that we are superior beings. We have houses from our very birth, and the burdock forest is planted on our account. I should like to know just how far it reaches, and what there is beyond.’ ‘There is nothing better than what we have here,’ said the Father Snail. ‘I wish for nothing beyond.’” This evidence shows how the snails are talking like humans do which leads to the conclusion that the snails are acting like humans.
Edited by Penny Yagake
Sea Turtles Might Be Eating Old Plastic Because It Smells Like Shrimp When ever. you throw out plastic things, it always ends up in the ocean where there are animals living there such as sea turtles . And when you throw away plastic, this can kill many animals such as sea turtles ,you might not know this but the plastic that goes into the water and gets colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, so when it does get colonized by bacteria and small invertebrate, it starts to smell like sea food or shrimp.This sent is the reason why turtles are eating plastic ,plastics ,as you know has a harmful chemicals, and when the turtles consume it , it can kill them.It's not only plastic bottles but also plastic bag, the reason I mentioned it was also plastic bags is because plastic bags look like jelly fish when in water. This is why turtles eats plastics all the time when they see or smell one.
Sea Turtles Might Be Eating Old Plastic Because It Smells Like Shrimp
*** This title seems to be copied from the source. Please rewrite the title.
When ever. you throw out plastic things, it always ends up in the ocean where there are animals living there such as sea turtles .
*** “When ever” should be written as one word, as in “Whenever.” Remove the extra period at the beginning of the sentence and remove the extra space before “such” and after “turtles.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Change “it” to “they.” Avoid using the word “thing” — name the thing or describe it instead.
Edited sentence: Whenever a person throws out plastic items, they always end up in the ocean where animals, such as sea turtles, are living.
And when you throw away plastic, this can kill many animals such as sea turtles ,you might not know this but the plastic that goes into the water and gets colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, so when it does get colonized by bacteria and small invertebrate, it starts to smell like sea food or shrimp.
*** This sentence is pretty long, so it can be split into two. Remove “and” after “goes into the water.” Since “bacteria and small invertebrates” is already stated once, it does not need to be mentioned a second time. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Change “it” to “they.”
Edited sentence: And when people throw away plastic, this can kill many animals such as sea turtles. People might not know this, but when the plastic that goes into the water gets colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, it starts to smell like seafood or shrimp.
This sent is the reason why turtles are eating plastic ,plastics ,as you know has a harmful chemicals, and when the turtles consume it , it can kill them.
*** Spell “sent” as “scent.” Make sure there is a space after a comma, but there should not be a space before a comma. Since “turtles are eating plastic” is already stated, “when the turtles consume it” is not needed. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only.
Edited sentence: This scent is the reason why sea turtles are eating plastic, which has harmful chemicals that can kill them.
It's not only plastic bottles but also plastic bag, the reason I mentioned it was also plastic bags is because plastic bags look like jelly fish when in water.
*** “the reason I mentioned it was also plastic bags” is not needed since it is already understood in the sentence. “jelly fish” should be one word, as in “jellyfish.” Avoid first person point of view (“I”) and use third person point of view only.
Edited sentence: Sea turtles not only eat plastic bottles, they also eat plastic bags because plastic bags look like jellyfish when in water.
This is why turtles eats plastics all the time when they see or smell one.
*** Remove the “s” at the end of “eats.”
Edited sentence: This is why sea turtles eat plastics all the time when they see or smell them.
*** Note where two words should be written as one. “When ever” should be written as “Whenever” and “jelly fish” should be written as “jellyfish. Watch out for repeated information. Avoid first person (“I”) and second person (“you”) point of view and use third person point of view only. This means “I” and “you” should be removed and/or replaced by other pronouns like “people,” “they,” or proper nouns depending on the topic. Avoid using the word “thing” — name the thing or describe it instead.
Fully edited paragraph:
Whenever a person throws out plastic items, they always end up in the ocean where animals, such as sea turtles, are living. And when people throw away plastic, this can kill many animals such as sea turtles. People might not know this, but when the plastic that goes into the water gets colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, it starts to smell like seafood or shrimp. This scent is the reason why sea turtles are eating plastic, which has harmful chemicals that can kill them. Sea turtles not only eat plastic bottles, they also eat plastic bags because plastic bags look like jellyfish when in water. This is why sea turtles eat plastics all the time when they see or smell them.
Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/sea-turtles-might-be-eating-plastic-because-after-weeks-ocean-it-smells-shrimp-180974387/
Edited by Penny Yagake
Why Is Washing Your Hands So Important, Anyway?
Washing your hands is very important because it can kill all the virus on your hands. Washing your hands are like weapons that you can use to kill the virus. If you don't wash your hands, that can lead you into having fever ,cold, and more viruses that are bad for your body. When COVID-19 came from China there were 100,000 confirmed cases worldwide. When ever you touch a person that sneezed or coughed on their hands, you should never touch you face until you washed them, but water and soap aren't the only things that can help you kill the virus, you can also use alcohol-based sanitizer. These alcohol-based sanitizer can also help you kill the virus. These two things can help you prevent getting the virus,SARS-CoV-2 is very easily transmitted to other people, because if you cough or sneeze, on your hands and touch other people, you can give them a virus and make them sick. That is why washing your hands are very important.
source:https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-washing-your-hands-so-important-anyway-180974355/.
Why Is Washing Your Hands So Important, Anyway?
*** This title seems to be copied from the source. Please rewrite this title with your own words.
Washing your hands is very important because it can kill all the virus on your hands.
*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only.
Edited sentence: Washing hands is very important because it can kill all the viruses on a person’s hands.
Washing your hands are like weapons that you can use to kill the virus.
*** Since “washing hands” is a single action, change “are like weapons” to “is like a weapon.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only.
Edited sentence: Washing hands is like a weapon that can be used to kill the virus.
If you don't wash your hands, that can lead you into having fever ,cold, and more viruses that are bad for your body.
*** Make sure there is a space after a comma, but not before a comma. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only.
Edited sentence: If a person doesn’t wash their hands, that can lead them to have a fever, a cold, and more viruses that are bad for the body.
When COVID-19 came from China there were 100,000 confirmed cases worldwide.
*** Change “When” to “Since.” Change “were” to “have been.”
Edited sentence: Since COVID-19 first came from China, there have been 100,000 confirmed cases worldwide.
When ever you touch a person that sneezed or coughed on their hands, you should never touch you face until you washed them, but water and soap aren't the only things that can help you kill the virus, you can also use alcohol-based sanitizer.
*** “When ever” should be one word, as in “Whenever.” Add “has” after “a person that.” To make the sentence clearer, change “until you washed them” to “until their hands are washed.” Add “an” before “alcohol-based sanitizer.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. This sentence can be split into two.
Edited sentence: Whenever a person touches someone that has sneezed or coughed on their hands, that person should never touch their face until their hands are washed. But water and soap aren’t the only tools that can help kill the virus — so can an alcohol-based sanitizer.
These alcohol-based sanitizer can also help you kill the virus.
*** Change “These” to “This.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. This sentence can be combined with the previous sentence.
Edited sentence: But water and soap aren’t the only tools that can help kill the virus — an alcohol-based sanitizer can also help kill the virus.
These two things can help you prevent getting the virus,SARS-CoV-2 is very easily transmitted to other people, because if you cough or sneeze, on your hands and touch other people, you can give them a virus and make them sick.
*** Avoid the word “thing” if you can name the thing or describe it. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only.
Edited sentence: These two methods can help prevent people from getting the virus, because SARS-CoV-2 is very easily transmitted to other people. If a person coughs or sneezes on their hands and touches other people, they can give the other people a virus and make them sick.
That is why washing your hands are very important.
*** Since “washing hands” is a single action, change “are” to “is.” Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. This sentence can be combined with the previous sentence.
Edited sentence: If a person coughs or sneezes on their hands and touches other people, they can give the other people a virus and make them sick, which is why washing hands is very important.
*** Rewrite the title. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Either remove “you” or replace “you” with other pronouns such as “a person,” “people,” “they,” or “them,” depending on the sentence. Avoid the word “thing” if you can name the thing or describe it. Remember the article summary needs six sentences.
Fully edited paragraph:
Washing hands is very important because it can kill all the viruses on a person’s hands. Washing hands is like a weapon that can be used to kill the virus. If a person doesn’t wash their hands, that can lead them to have a fever, a cold, and more viruses that are bad for the body. Since COVID-19 first came from China, there have been 100,000 confirmed cases worldwide. Whenever a person touches someone that has sneezed or coughed on their hands, that person should never touch their face until their hands are washed. But water and soap aren’t the only tools that can help kill the virus — an alcohol-based sanitizer can also help kill the virus. These two methods can help prevent people from getting the virus, because SARS-CoV-2 is very easily transmitted to other people. If a person coughs or sneezes on their hands and touches other people, they can give the other people a virus and make them sick, which is why washing hands is very important.
Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/why-washing-your-hands-so-important-anyway-180974355/
Edited by Penny Yagake
Why Wolverines Are the Arctic Animal We Love to Hate
Wolverine’s are known for being very unpleasant. This animal has a dog size which can gain about 30 pounds, they have claws that looks like daggers and strong jaws to tear up frozen or hard parts of other animals. There are many cultures that name these wolverines , for example ( some cultures calls these animals Gulo gulo, which means glutton in Latin, and there are some cultures that calls them skunk bears). These animals might look cute ,cuddly and innocent ..... but their not. These animals will chase and attack anyone that is ten times bigger than them, not even the bears would want to mess with them.
Source:https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/wolverines-arctic-animal-love-hate-180974160/
Why Wolverines Are the Arctic Animal We Love to Hate
*** This was the article’s original title (this can be seen in the top comment below the article and on the browser tab). Please rewrite the title of the summary.
Wolverine’s are known for being very unpleasant.
*** Remove the apostrophe in “Wolverine’s.”
Edited sentence: Wolverines are known for being very unpleasant.
This animal has a dog size which can gain about 30 pounds, they have claws that looks like daggers and strong jaws to tear up frozen or hard parts of other animals.
*** Change “has a dog size” to “is the size of a dog.” Change “which” to “and.” Remove the “s” at the end of “looks.” This sentence can be split into two sentences, which will also help the summary fit the six sentence structure.
Edited sentence: This animal is the size of a dog and can gain about 30 pounds. They have claws that look like daggers and strong jaws to tear up frozen or hard parts of other animals.
There are many cultures that name these wolverines , for example ( some cultures calls these animals Gulo gulo, which means glutton in Latin, and there are some cultures that calls them skunk bears).
*** Gulo gulo is the scientific name. I have edited this sentence to reflect that. According to the article, some cultures call it a “skunk bear.” Change “that name these wolverines” to “that give these wolverines names.” The parentheses aren’t needed.
Edited sentence: There are many cultures that give these wolverines names such as “skunk bear,” while the scientific name is Gulo gulo, which means “glutton” in Latin.
These animals might look cute ,cuddly and innocent ..... but their not.
*** Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma. An ellipsis should have three periods (...). Change “their” to “they’re.” The word “their” indicates that an object belongs to someone. “they’re” means “they are.”
Edited sentence: These animals might look cute, cuddly, and innocent… but they’re not.
These animals will chase and attack anyone that is ten times bigger than them, not even the bears would want to mess with them.
*** Change “anyone” to “anything” since this could be referring to either people or animals. Add “and” after the comma. Remove “the” before “bears.”
Edited sentence: These animals will chase and attack anything that is ten times bigger than them, and not even bears would want to mess with them.
*** Make sure the information included in the summary is correct according to the article. Note where punctuation, such as apostrophes and parentheses, has been removed. The word “their” indicates that an object belongs to someone. “they’re” means “they are.” Remember the article summary needs six sentences.
Fully edited article:
Wolverines are known for being very unpleasant. This animal is the size of a dog and can gain about 30 pounds. They have claws that look like daggers and strong jaws to tear up frozen or hard parts of other animals. There are many cultures that give these wolverines names such as “skunk bear,” while the scientific name is Gulo gulo, which means “glutton” in Latin. These animals might look cute, cuddly, and innocent… but they’re not. These animals will chase and attack anything that is ten times bigger than them, and not even bears would want to mess with them.
Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/wolverines-arctic-animal-love-hate-180974160/
Edited by Penny Yagake
