Evan's Article Summary Page

President Trump suggests that we should get tested.

President Trump pointed out on 5/14/20 that if we didn't do any testing for the virus we would have very few cases, which forces us to confront the issues posed by testing in general. “We have more cases than anybody in the world. But why? Because we do more testing. When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn't do any testing, we would have very few cases.” And obviously, if we stop testing for the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, there won’t be any noticeable increase in the levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. The logic is unassailable. As writer Quinn Cummings tweeted almost immediately after the President’s remarks, “Remember kids: You don’t want a baby? Stay away from pregnancy tests!”

Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/podcast/episode/were-being-tested/

Bats are our friends, not enemies.

The kernel of truth regarding bats and disease is that the former does host an unusual variety of the latter, including viruses that can be deadly when they spill into the lives of other mammals like us. Other authors have thoughtfully covered the direct and indirect role bats play in the emergence of the likes of Ebola, Nipah, and SARS. Setting all that aside, culling, or otherwise directly harming bats in an attempt to tamp down the risk of a future SARS or Ebola is based on faulty assumptions and may paradoxically lead to higher disease risk. In March, officials in Indonesia ordered the culling of captive bats in markets. There are rumors of officials in Rwanda blasting straw-colored fruit bat colonies with a firehose. We are still perfecting the recipe for heading off the next zoonotic pandemic. It certainly includes a heaping portion of enhanced disease surveillance and a healthy dollop of improved public health infrastructure. Less obvious though, is the mélange of ingredients united in their requirement that we stop treating bats as some sort of sinister “other.” Source: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/bats-are-not-our-enemies/

Dangerous hornets.

The Asian giant hornet (Vespa mandarinia) has arrived in North America. In the past several days' photographs and videos have surfaced showing how viciously this insect has attacked honeybees: it crawls into hives and rips off the heads of bees in large numbers—making its supervillain nickname, “murder hornet,” feel disturbingly apt. This behavior even has a name: the slaughter and occupation phase. U.S. beekeepers supply billions of honeybees each year to help pollinate at least 90 agricultural crops. And they are worried that this new raider could further worsen already deep losses in important pollinator populations. The hornet is native to Asia, ranging from Japan and Russia down to Thailand and Myanmar (formerly Burma). The first confirmed U.S. sighting was a dead specimen found in Washington State last December. Source :

How COVID-19 really spreads

The world struggled to understand how COVID-19 spread during the pandemic’s first four months, but genetic sequences of the coronavirus reported by laboratories tell the real story—when the virus arrived in each place and where it came from. The virus had not mutated significantly as of March 31, 2020; human contact created the pandemic, not a wildly evolving pathogen. Mapping the spread also substantiates actions that could have best mitigated it: faster, wider testing in China; earlier, stricter global travel bans and isolation of infected people; and more immediate social distancing worldwide.


Covid-19 

    Scientists have long known that viral infections can affect human cellular metabolism, the system of biochemical reactions needed to provide energy for everything cells do. In the new paper, researchers showed that in live mice and human cells, infection with an influenza A virus—one of two types that typically cause seasonal flu—sets off a chain of cellular events, or a pathway, that boosts the metabolism of glucose. Although the research was not focused on the novel coronavirus, the team says the same mechanism is likely at play in the illness it causes: COVID-19. When a virus infects a cell, it steals resources in order to make copies of itself, explains Paul Thomas, an immunologist at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn., who was not involved in the new study.


Covid-19

*** Capitalize all the letters in “Covid-19.” This title can include more detail from the article.

Edited title: COVID-19 and the Flu

Scientists have long known that viral infections can affect human cellular metabolism, the system of biochemical reactions needed to provide energy for everything cells do.

*** Add a phrase like “According to the article” at the beginning of this sentence. Add quotation marks (“) at the beginning and at the end of sentences from the article. Explain what this quote means.

Edited sentence: According to the article, “Scientists have long known that viral infections can affect human cellular metabolism, the system of biochemical reactions needed to provide energy for everything cells do.”

In the new paper, researchers showed that in live mice and human cells, infection with an influenza A virus—one of two types that typically cause seasonal flu—sets off a chain of cellular events, or a pathway, that boosts the metabolism of glucose.

*** Add a phrase like “The article also states” at the beginning of this sentence. Add quotation marks (“) at the beginning and at the end of sentences from the article. Explain what this quote means.

Edited sentence: The article also states, “In the new paper, researchers showed that in live mice and human cells, infection with an influenza A virus—one of two types that typically cause seasonal flu—sets off a chain of cellular events, or a pathway, that boosts the metabolism of glucose.”

Although the research was not focused on the novel coronavirus, the team says the same mechanism is likely at play in the illness it causes: COVID-19.

*** Add a phrase like “The article adds” at the beginning of this sentence. Add quotation marks (“) at the beginning and at the end of sentences from the article. Explain what this quote means.

Edited sentence: The article adds, “Although the research was not focused on the novel coronavirus, the team says the same mechanism is likely at play in the illness it causes: COVID-19.”

When a virus infects a cell, it steals resources in order to make copies of itself, explains Paul Thomas, an immunologist at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn., who was not involved in the new study.

*** Add a phrase like “Additionally, the article states” at the beginning of this sentence. Add quotation marks (“) at the beginning and at the end of sentences from the article. Explain what this quote means.

Edited sentence: Additionally, the article states, “When a virus infects a cell, it steals resources in order to make copies of itself, explains Paul Thomas, an immunologist at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn., who was not involved in the new study.”

*** When using sentences from the article, you need to quote them correctly. Add a phrase like “According to the article” before quotes. To quote correctly, add quotation marks (“) at the beginning and at the end of sentences from the article. Explain what the quotes mean using sentences written in your own words.

Fully edited paragraph:

COVID-19 and the Flu

According to the article, “Scientists have long known that viral infections can affect human cellular metabolism, the system of biochemical reactions needed to provide energy for everything cells do.” The article also states, “In the new paper, researchers showed that in live mice and human cells, infection with an influenza A virus—one of two types that typically cause seasonal flu—sets off a chain of cellular events, or a pathway, that boosts the metabolism of glucose.” The article adds, “Although the research was not focused on the novel coronavirus, the team says the same mechanism is likely at play in the illness it causes: COVID-19.” Additionally, the article states, “When a virus infects a cell, it steals resources in order to make copies of itself, explains Paul Thomas, an immunologist at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital in Memphis, Tenn., who was not involved in the new study.”

Edited by Penny Yagake





Covid-19 might lead to an increase in suicide. 

          K. Balakrishna, a 50-year-old Indian father-of-three, maybe the first suicide victim linked to the coronavirus epidemic. Panic is suspected of precipitating his death. Historically, disease pandemics have been associated with grave psychological consequences. This should not come as a surprise. The elderly are at particular risk. Following the SARS outbreak in 2003, there was a spike in suicide among older adults, which could be a harbinger of what’s to come. Even when the epidemic is under control and the isolation measures are lifted, the economic ripple effect will be immense. The looming economic crisis has already claimed its first suicide victim: the German state of Hesse’s finance minister Thomas Schäfer.


Covid-19 might lead to an increase in suicide.

*** Capitalize all letters in “Covid-19.”

Edited sentence: COVID-19 might lead to an increase in suicide.

K. Balakrishna, a 50-year-old Indian father-of-three, maybe the first suicide victim linked to the coronavirus epidemic. Panic is suspected of precipitating his death. Historically, disease pandemics have been associated with grave psychological consequences. This should not come as a surprise.

*** This sentence is the same as the one in this article: https://blogs.scientificamerican.com/observations/covid-19-is-likely-to-lead-to-an-increase-in-suicides/. There should be a space between “may” and “be.” Do not just copy sentences from the article. Add a phrase like “According to the article” at the beginning of this sentence. Add quotation marks (“) around sentences from the article.

Edited sentence: According to the article, “K. Balakrishna, a 50-year-old Indian father-of-three, may be the first suicide victim linked to the coronavirus epidemic. Panic is suspected of precipitating his death. Historically, disease pandemics have been associated with grave psychological consequences. This should not come as a surprise.”

The elderly are at particular risk. Following the SARS outbreak in 2003, there was a spike in suicide among older adults, which could be a harbinger of what’s to come.

*** Add a phrase like “The article also states” at the beginning of this sentence. Add quotation marks (“) around sentences from the article.

Edited sentence: The article also states, “The elderly are at particular risk. Following the SARS outbreak in 2003, there was a spike in suicide among older adults, which could be a harbinger of what’s to come.”

Even when the epidemic is under control and the isolation measures are lifted, the economic ripple effect will be immense. The looming economic crisis has already claimed its first suicide victim: the German state of Hesse’s finance minister Thomas Schäfer.

*** Add a phrase like “The article adds” at the beginning of this sentence. Add quotation marks (“) around sentences from the article.

Edited sentence: The article adds, “Even when the epidemic is under control and the isolation measures are lifted, the economic ripple effect will be immense. The looming economic crisis has already claimed its first suicide victim: the German state of Hesse’s finance minister Thomas Schäfer.”

*** Do not just copy sentences from the article. Add a phrase like “According to the article” before quotes from the article. Add quotation marks (“) around sentences from the article. Explain each quote with a sentence using your own words.

Fully edited paragraph:

COVID-19 might lead to an increase in suicide. According to the article, “K. Balakrishna, a 50-year-old Indian father-of-three, may be the first suicide victim linked to the coronavirus epidemic. Panic is suspected of precipitating his death. Historically, disease pandemics have been associated with grave psychological consequences. This should not come as a surprise.” The article also states, “The elderly are at particular risk. Following the SARS outbreak in 2003, there was a spike in suicide among older adults, which could be a harbinger of what’s to come.” The article adds, “Even when the epidemic is under control and the isolation measures are lifted, the economic ripple effect will be immense. The looming economic crisis has already claimed its first suicide victim: the German state of Hesse’s finance minister Thomas Schäfer.”

Edited by Penny Yagake





     There are ways you could make cures for the coronavirus. A virus is an unusual beast. Essentially it is a cluster of genetic material that integrates itself into a cell and takes over some of the cell’s molecular machinery,

using it to assemble an army of viral copies. So in early January, when the alarms rang about SARS-CoV-2, Denison and Baric alerted colleagues at Gilead that they were sitting on a potential treatment. Largely because of its activity against other coronavirus strains in Denison and Baric’s animal studies, redeliver was made available to patients for “compassionate use” in January. In early April they published results showing that in mice, the new substance helped breathing and reduced the amount of many coronaviruses. In test-tube experiments with human lung cells, it drastically hindered SARS-CoV-2. Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/three-ways-to-make-coronavirus-drugs-in-a-hurry/


There are ways you could make cures for the coronavirus.

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only. Here, you could replace “you could” with “to.”

Edited sentence: There are ways to make cures for the coronavirus.

A virus is an unusual beast. Essentially it is a cluster of genetic material that integrates itself into a cell and takes over some of the cell’s molecular machinery, using it to assemble an army of viral copies.

*** To credit the source, add “According to the article” at the beginning of this sentence. Place quotation marks around phrases from the article.

Edited sentence: According to the article, “A virus is an unusual beast. Essentially it is a cluster of genetic material that integrates itself into a cell and takes over some of the cell’s molecular machinery, using it to assemble an army of viral copies.”

So in early January, when the alarms rang about SARS-CoV-2, Denison and Baric alerted colleagues at Gilead that they were sitting on a potential treatment.

*** To credit the source, add “The article adds” at the beginning of this sentence. Place quotation marks around phrases from the article.

Edited sentence: The article adds, “So in early January, when the alarms rang about SARS-CoV-2, Denison and Baric alerted colleagues at Gilead that they were sitting on a potential treatment.”

Largely because of its activity against other coronavirus strains in Denison and Baric’s animal studies, redeliver was made available to patients for “compassionate use” in January.

*** Make sure the information from the article is written correctly — the drug’s name is “remdesivir,” not “redeliver.” To credit the source, add “The article also states” at the beginning of this sentence. Place quotation marks around phrases from the article. When there is another quoted phrase inside of a quote, the inside quote should use single quotation marks (‘).

Edited sentence: The article also states, “Largely because of its activity against other coronavirus strains in Denison and Baric’s animal studies, remdesivir was made available to patients for ‘compassionate use’ in January.”

In early April they published results showing that in mice, the new substance helped breathing and reduced the amount of many coronaviruses. In test-tube experiments with human lung cells, it drastically hindered SARS-CoV-2.

*** To credit the source, add “Additionally” at the beginning of this sentence. Place quotation marks around phrases from the article.

Edited sentence: Additionally, “In early April they published results showing that in mice, the new substance helped breathing and reduced the amount of many coronaviruses. In test-tube experiments with human lung cells, it drastically hindered SARS-CoV-2.”

*** You can use quotes, but you also need to summarize the article in your own words. Explain what the quotes mean. Make sure that the information included in the summary is written correctly according to the source. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view only.

Fully edited article:

There are ways to make cures for the coronavirus. According to the article, “A virus is an unusual beast. Essentially it is a cluster of genetic material that integrates itself into a cell and takes over some of the cell’s molecular machinery, using it to assemble an army of viral copies.” The article adds, “So in early January, when the alarms rang about SARS-CoV-2, Denison and Baric alerted colleagues at Gilead that they were sitting on a potential treatment.” The article also states, “Largely because of its activity against other coronavirus strains in Denison and Baric’s animal studies, remdesivir was made available to patients for ‘compassionate use’ in January.” Additionally, “In early April they published results showing that in mice, the new substance helped breathing and reduced the amount of many coronaviruses. In test-tube experiments with human lung cells, it drastically hindered SARS-CoV-2.”

Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/three-ways-to-make-coronavirus-drugs-in-a-hurry/

Edited by Penny Yagake





Bill Gates has a fantasy dream of jabbing every person on the planet with one of his “philanthropic” vaccines. The guy lives to vaccinate, and it’s really the only thing he ever seems to talk about. Sure, he’ll occasionally mention pharmaceuticals as well – never nutrition, by the way – but vaccines are Gates’ thing, for which he almost has a bizarre type of fetish. Gates has admitted on numerous occasions that he supports mass depopulation of the planet, and has even admitted that vaccines are part of what’s going to make that happen. "Gates appears confident that the COVID-19 crisis will now give him the opportunity to force his dictatorial vaccine programs on all American children – and adults."-CHD. Source: https://www.naturalnews.com/2020-04-17-coronavirus-dream-come-true-for-bill-gates-lives-to-vaccinate.html


Bill Gates has a fantasy dream of jabbing every person on the planet with one of his “philanthropic” vaccines.

*** Use quotation marks around phrases from the article. When there is another quote inside of a quote from an article, put single quotation marks (‘) around the inside quote.

Edited sentence: Bill Gates has a “fantasy dream of jabbing every person on the planet with one of his ‘philanthropic’ vaccines.”

The guy lives to vaccinate, and it’s really the only thing he ever seems to talk about.

*** Add “According to the article” before the quoted phrase. Use quotation marks around phrases from the article.

Edited sentence: According to the article, “The guy lives to vaccinate, and it’s really the only thing he ever seems to talk about.”

Sure, he’ll occasionally mention pharmaceuticals as well – never nutrition, by the way – but vaccines are Gates’ thing, for which he almost has a bizarre type of fetish.

*** Add “The article adds” before the quoted phrase. Use quotation marks around phrases from the article.

Edited sentence: The article adds, “Sure, he’ll occasionally mention pharmaceuticals as well – never nutrition, by the way – but vaccines are Gates’ thing, for which he almost has a bizarre type of fetish.”

Gates has admitted on numerous occasions that he supports mass depopulation of the planet, and has even admitted that vaccines are part of what’s going to make that happen.

*** Add “The article states” before the quoted phrase. Use quotation marks around phrases from the article.

Edited sentence: The article states, “Gates has admitted on numerous occasions that he supports mass depopulation of the planet, and has even admitted that vaccines are part of what’s going to make that happen.”

"Gates appears confident that the COVID-19 crisis will now give him the opportunity to force his dictatorial vaccine programs on all American children – and adults."-CHD.

*** Add “According to Children’s Health Defense” at the beginning of this sentence.

Edited sentence: According to Children’s Health Defense, “Gates appears confident that the COVID-19 crisis will now give him the opportunity to force his dictatorial vaccine programs on all American children – and adults.”

*** Create a title for your article summary. Do not copy sentences from the article. You must write your own sentences summarizing the article or use quotes. To quote, use the phrase, “According to the article,” and place quotation marks around the quote. Then explain what the quotes mean.

Fully edited article:

Bill Gates has a “fantasy dream of jabbing every person on the planet with one of his ‘philanthropic’ vaccines.” According to the article, “The guy lives to vaccinate, and it’s really the only thing he ever seems to talk about.” The article adds, “Sure, he’ll occasionally mention pharmaceuticals as well – never nutrition, by the way – but vaccines are Gates’ thing, for which he almost has a bizarre type of fetish.” The article states, “Gates has admitted on numerous occasions that he supports mass depopulation of the planet, and has even admitted that vaccines are part of what’s going to make that happen.” According to Children’s Health Defense, “Gates appears confident that the COVID-19 crisis will now give him the opportunity to force his dictatorial vaccine programs on all American children – and adults.”

Source: https://www.naturalnews.com/2020-04-17-coronavirus-dream-come-true-for-bill-gates-lives-to-vaccinate.html

Edited by Penny Yagake





There is a problem telling children that they're better than others. Children can learn to always compare themselves with those around them and become trapped in a vicious cycle of competition. Social comparisons are well-intentioned: we want to make children feel proud and motivate them to achieve. As one writer for the Novak Djokovic Foundation has noted, “Winning a game or being the best in the class gives children a good feeling about themselves and makes them proud,” and it helps “children get motivated to take the next steps to achieve even bigger goals, such as jumping even further.” Such awards, however, may not abolish social comparisons: despite receiving the same trophy, children are sensitive to even minor differences in performance between themselves and others. One well-known strategy to eliminate social comparisons is to provide children with participation trophies. Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-problem-with-telling-children-theyre-better-than-others/


There is a problem telling children that they're better than others.

*** Add “with” after “problem.”

Edited sentence: There is a problem with telling children that they’re better than others.

Children can learn to always compare themselves with those around them and become trapped in a vicious cycle of competition.

*** This sentence is from the article. Do not copy sentences from the article. You must write your own sentences summarizing the article or use quotes. To quote, use the phrase, “According to the article,” and place quotation marks around the quote.

Edited sentence: According to the article, “Children can learn to always compare themselves with those around them and become trapped in a vicious cycle of competition.”

Social comparisons are well-intentioned: we want to make children feel proud and motivate them to achieve.

*** This sentence is also from the article — the only difference is that a hyphen has been placed between “well” and “intentioned.” Again, do not copy from the article, and write your own sentences summarizing the article or use quotes.

Edited sentence: The article also states, “Social comparisons are well intentioned: we want to make children feel proud and motivate them to achieve.”

As one writer for the Novak Djokovic Foundation has noted, “Winning a game or being the best in the class gives children a good feeling about themselves and makes them proud,” and it helps “children get motivated to take the next steps to achieve even bigger goals, such as jumping even further.”

*** This is also from the article. Again, do not copy from the article, and write your own sentences summarizing the article or use quotes.

Such awards, however, may not abolish social comparisons: despite receiving the same trophy, children are sensitive to even minor differences in performance between themselves and others.

*** This is also from the article. Again, do not copy from the article, and write your own sentences summarizing the article or use quotes.

One well-known strategy to eliminate social comparisons is to provide children with participation trophies.

*** This is also from the article. Again, do not copy from the article, and write your own sentences summarizing the article or use quotes.

*** Create a title for your article summary. Do not copy sentences from the article. You must write your own sentences summarizing the article or use quotes. To quote, use the phrase, “According to the article,” and place quotation marks around the quote. Then explain what the quotes mean. Only the edited sentences are included in the edited article below.

Edited article:

There is a problem with telling children that they’re better than others. According to the article, “Children can learn to always compare themselves with those around them and become trapped in a vicious cycle of competition.” The article also states, “Social comparisons are well intentioned: we want to make children feel proud and motivate them to achieve.”

Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-problem-with-telling-children-theyre-better-than-others/

Edited by Penny Yagake





33-year-old Jack Pantall used his tractor to create his own heartwarming tribute to the British National Health System (NHS) by using his tractor to plow a giant rainbow into one of his fields. The dad-of-two said he wanted to show his support for all of the NHS heroes—particularly since his 31-year-old brother Harry is a paramedic and his sister-in-law works as a doctor. In addition to broadcasting his message of support to NHS workers, Pantall has also set up a JustGiving page to support hospital staffers—and he hopes his stunt can help raise money and spirits. The rainbow has become a symbol of support for people wanting to show solidarity with health workers on the front lines of the novel coronavirus pandemic.

Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/farmer-plows-tribute-to-nhs-workers-into-his-field/


33-year-old Jack Pantall used his tractor to create his own heartwarming tribute to the British National Health System (NHS) by using his tractor to plow a giant rainbow into one of his fields.

*** Since the tractor is already mentioned once at the beginning of this sentence, replace “by using his tractor to plow” with “by plowing.” Add quotation marks around phrases from the source article.

Edited sentence: 33-year-old Jack Pantall used his tractor to create “his own heartwarming tribute to the British National Health System (NHS)” by plowing “a giant rainbow into one of his fields.”

The dad-of-two said he wanted to show his support for all of the NHS heroes—particularly since his 31-year-old brother Harry is a paramedic and his sister-in-law works as a doctor.

*** This is exactly the same as the article. Reword this sentence with your own words or make this a quote.

In addition to broadcasting his message of support to NHS workers, Pantall has also set up a JustGiving page to support hospital staffers—and he hopes his stunt can help raise money and spirits.

*** This is also exactly the same as the article. Reword this sentence with your own words or make this a quote.

The rainbow has become a symbol of support for people wanting to show solidarity with health workers on the front lines of the novel coronavirus pandemic.

*** This is also exactly the same as the article. Reword this sentence with your own words or make this a quote.

*** Create a title for your article summary. Do not copy from the article. You must write your own sentences or include quotes. Summarize the article. Watch out for repeating phrases, as in the first sentence. Only the edited sentence is included in the fully edited article below.

Fully edited article:

33-year-old Jack Pantall used his tractor to create “his own heartwarming tribute to the British National Health System (NHS)” by plowing “a giant rainbow into one of his fields.”

Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/farmer-plows-tribute-to-nhs-workers-into-his-field/

Edited by Penny Yagake





December 21 is the Crossword Puzzle Day 

    The Crossword Puzzle Day is on December 21. It is celebrated to remember the day that crosswords were invented.  The object of a crossword puzzle is to fill in the white spaces of a grid with the correct words using the clues provided. The clues to more challenging puzzles read like riddles and trivia, making the game more complex. Crossword puzzles may help delay the effects of dementia or sharpen the brain for problem-solving and can increase vocabulary and even relieve the mind from the stress of the day by focusing on something other than worldly problems. These are the reasons that you should celebrate the Crossword Puzzle Day.

Source: https://nationaldaycalendar.com/crossword-puzzle-day-december-21/


December 21 is the Crossword Puzzle Day

*** Remove “the.”

Edited title: December 21 is Crossword Puzzle Day

The Crossword Puzzle Day is on December 21.

*** Remove “The.”

Edited sentence: Crossword Puzzle Day is on December 21.

It is celebrated to remember the day that crosswords were invented.

*** Good, but remove the extra space after this sentence.

The object of a crossword puzzle is to fill in the white spaces of a grid with the correct words using the clues provided.

*** This sentence is exactly the same as the source. Rewrite this sentence with your own words or quote it.

The clues to more challenging puzzles read like riddles and trivia, making the game more complex.

*** This sentence is almost exactly the same as the source, except that “and trivia” has been added. Please rewrite this sentence or quote it.

Crossword puzzles may help delay the effects of dementia or sharpen the brain for problem-solving and can increase vocabulary and even relieve the mind from the stress of the day by focusing on something other than worldly problems.

*** Add quotation marks around quoted phrases.

Edited sentence: Crossword puzzles “may help delay the effects of dementia or sharpen the brain for problem-solving” and can “increase vocabulary and even relieve the mind from the stress of the day by focusing on something other than worldly problems.”

These are the reasons that you should celebrate the Crossword Puzzle Day.

*** Avoid second person point of view. Use third person point of view only. Replace “you” with “people.”

Edited sentence: These are reasons that people should celebrate Crossword Puzzle Day.

*** Do not copy exact sentences from the source. You must either create your own sentences or quote the source. Use third person point of view only for these article summaries. Instead of using “you,” use other pronouns such as “people.”

Fully edited article:

December 21 is Crossword Puzzle Day

Crossword Puzzle Day is on December 21. It is celebrated to remember the day that crosswords were invented. Crossword puzzles “may help delay the effects of dementia or sharpen the brain for problem-solving” and can “increase vocabulary and even relieve the mind from the stress of the day by focusing on something other than worldly problems.” These are reasons that people should celebrate Crossword Puzzle Day.

Source: https://nationaldaycalendar.com/crossword-puzzle-day-december-21/

Edited by Penny Yagake




December 20 is the National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day 

    During 2014, The holiday lover partnered with Save the Children in their “Make the World Better with a Sweater” campaign. So every year, they could have a chance to wear their ugly sweaters. The holiday was created as a way to lighten up the busy holidays and to show off their absurdly, ugly sweaters. The holiday has grown in popularity and is celebrated all over the world.  You could wear your ugliest Christmas sweater. You should also use #UglyChristmasSweaterDay or #ChristmasSweaterDay to post on social media. This is why the National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is so popular across the world.

Source: https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-ugly-christmas-sweater-day-third-friday-in-december/


December 20 is the National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day

*** Remove “the.” Note that December 20 was the day for 2019, but in 2020, the day is December 18.

Edited title: December 18 is National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day

During 2014, The holiday lover partnered with Save the Children in their “Make the World Better with a Sweater” campaign.

*** Remove the first “The.” Add an “s” after “lover” since there is more than one “lover.” Add quotation marks around quoted phrases.

Edited sentence: During 2014, holiday lovers “partnered with Save the Children in their ‘Make the World Better with a Sweater’ campaign.”

So every year, they could have a chance to wear their ugly sweaters.

*** Good.

The holiday was created as a way to lighten up the busy holidays and to show off their absurdly, ugly sweaters.

*** Put quotation marks around the quoted part.

Edited sentence: The holiday was created “as a way to lighten up the busy holidays and to show off their absurdly, ugly sweaters.”

The holiday has grown in popularity and is celebrated all over the world.

*** Remove the extra space after this sentence.

Edited sentence: The holiday has grown in popularity and is celebrated all over the world.

You could wear your ugliest Christmas sweater.

*** Avoid second person point of view. Remove “you” and replace it with another pronoun such as “a person” or “people.” Use third person point of view only.

Edited sentence: People could wear their ugliest Christmas sweater.

You should also use #UglyChristmasSweaterDay or #ChristmasSweaterDay to post on social media.

***Avoid second person point of view. Use third person point of view only. This sentence can be combined with the previous sentence to help the article fit the six sentence structure.

Edited sentence: People could wear their ugliest Christmas sweater and use #UglyChristmasSweaterDay or #ChristmasSweaterDay to post on social media.

This is why the National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is so popular across the world.

*** Remove the first “the.”

Edited sentence: This is why National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is so popular across the world.

*** Do not use second person point of view (you, your). Use third person point of view only. This means replace “you” with another pronoun such as “people,” “a person,” or other pronouns depending on the article. Remember that the article summary needs six sentences.

Fully edited article:

December 18 is National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day

During 2014, holiday lovers “partnered with Save the Children in their ‘Make the World Better with a Sweater’ campaign.” So every year, they could have a chance to wear their ugly sweaters. The holiday was created “as a way to lighten up the busy holidays and to show off their absurdly, ugly sweaters.” The holiday has grown in popularity and is celebrated all over the world. People could wear their ugliest Christmas sweater and use #UglyChristmasSweaterDay or #ChristmasSweaterDay to post on social media. This is why National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day is so popular across the world.

Source: https://nationaldaycalendar.com/national-ugly-christmas-sweater-day-third-friday-in-december/

Edited by Penny Yagake



Mosquitos! 

      The first thing that comes to your mind when hearing the word mosquito is probably the itchy annoying bite on your neck. But do you know why the mosquitos want to suck your blood? Scientists have discovered that there is another reason that mosquitos want to suck your blood.  Even though they suck your blood to get protein for their babies, the blood you have in your body also works as a cool, and refreshing drink for mosquitos. They tend to be a lot more aggressive if they are dehydrated.  Because they lay their eggs in the water, they tend to spread more diseases if the water is polluted. This is why mosquitos want to suck your blood.

Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-other-reason-mosquitoes-want-to-suck-your-blood/


Mosquitos!

*** Spell as “Mosquitoes.”

Edited title: Mosquitoes!

The first thing that comes to your mind when hearing the word mosquito is probably the itchy annoying bite on your neck.

*** Avoid second person point of view — remove “your.” Use only third person point of view. Avoid using the word “thing.” Instead, state what that thing is, or describe it. Put quotation marks around “mosquito.”

Edited sentence: The first thought that comes to a person’s mind when hearing the word “mosquito” is probably the itchy annoying bite on their neck.

But do you know why the mosquitos want to suck your blood?

*** Avoid second person point of view — remove “your.” Use only third person point of view. “mosquitos” should be spelled with an “e” after the “o.”

Edited sentence: But do people know why the mosquitoes want to suck their blood?

Scientists have discovered that there is another reason that mosquitos want to suck your blood.

*** Remove the extra space after this sentence. Avoid second person point of view — remove “your.” Use only third person point of view. “mosquitos” should be spelled with an “e” after the “o.”

Edited sentence: Scientists have discovered that there is another reason that mosquitoes want to suck people’s blood.

Even though they suck your blood to get protein for their babies, the blood you have in your body also works as a cool, and refreshing drink for mosquitos.

*** Remove the comma after “cool.” Avoid second person point of view — remove “your.” Use only third person point of view. “mosquitos” should be spelled with an “e” after the “o.”

Edited sentence: Even though they suck human blood to get protein for their babies, the blood people have in their bodies also works as a cool and refreshing drink for mosquitoes.

They tend to be a lot more aggressive if they are dehydrated.

*** Good.

Because they lay their eggs in the water, they tend to spread more diseases if the water is polluted.

*** Where does the source discuss polluted water? According to the source, mosquitoes tend to spread more diseases during droughts because they drink blood instead.

Edited sentence: Because they lay their eggs in the water, they tend to spread more diseases during droughts.

This is why mosquitos want to suck your blood.

*** Avoid second person point of view — remove “your.” Use only third person point of view.

Edited sentence: This is why mosquitoes want to suck people’s blood.

*** Make sure that the information in the summary is correct according to the source. Use only third person point of view. This means replace “you” with another pronoun such as “people,” “a person,” or other pronouns depending on the article. Remember that the summary needs six sentences.

Fully edited article:

Mosquitoes!

The first thought that comes to a person’s mind when hearing the word “mosquito” is probably the itchy annoying bite on their neck. But do people know why the mosquitoes want to suck their blood? Scientists have discovered that there is another reason that mosquitoes want to suck people’s blood. Even though they suck human blood to get protein for their babies, the blood people have in their bodies also works as a cool and refreshing drink for mosquitoes. They tend to be a lot more aggressive if they are dehydrated. Because they lay their eggs in the water, they tend to spread more diseases during droughts. This is why mosquitoes want to suck people’s blood. Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-other-reason-mosquitoes-want-to-suck-your-blood/

Edited by Penny Yagake





The Invention of the Single Sliced Pizza 

     Every second, Americans eat about 350 slices per second! But how did it even get invented? Well, you know that America is made of immigrants, right? 4 million out of the 20 million people that immigrate to America are Italian. They traveled west and went to suburbia, which injected gooey cheese and tomato sauce that we put on our everyday pizza. Since they have so many pizza and so many American pizzerias, they invented the single slice pizza. This enabled hectic operators to eat on the go and could be done a lot quicker. This is how the single sliced pizza was invented.

Source: https://www.britannica.com/story/why-is-pizza-so-popular-in-the-u.s/


The Invention of the Single Sliced Pizza

*** Remove the “d” in “Sliced.”

Edited sentence: The Invention of the Single Slice Pizza

Every second, Americans eat about 350 slices per second!

*** The “per second” at the end is not needed because you already have “Every second” at the beginning of this sentence. Write “350 slices of pizza” so that the reader will know what these slices are.

Edited sentence: Every second, Americans eat about 350 slices of pizza!

But how did it even get invented?

*** Good.

Well, you know that America is made of immigrants, right?

*** Avoid second person point of view (“you”). Use third person point of view instead.

Edited sentence: Well, America is made of immigrants.

4 million out of the 20 million people that immigrate to America are Italian.

*** This is the number of people that immigrated in the past according to the source, so the verbs “immigrate” and “are” should be in past tense. If there is a number at the beginning of a sentence, it should be spelled out.

Edited sentence: Four million out of the 20 million people that immigrated to America were Italian.

They traveled west and went to suburbia, which injected gooey cheese and tomato sauce that we put on our everyday pizza.

*** Avoid first person point of view (“we” and “our”) and use third person point of view. Add “the” after “injected.”

Edited sentence: They traveled west and went to suburbia, which injected the gooey cheese and tomato sauce that is put on everyday pizza.

Since they have so many pizza and so many American pizzerias, they invented the single slice pizza.

*** “have” should be “had” since this sentence is describing an event in the past.

Edited sentence: Since they had so many pizzas and so many American pizzerias, they invented the single slice pizza.

This enabled hectic operators to eat on the go and could be done a lot quicker.

*** Add “eating” after “and.”

Edited sentence: This enabled hectic operators to eat on the go and eating could be done a lot quicker.

This is how the single sliced pizza was invented.

*** Remove the “d” in “sliced.”

Edited sentence: This is how the single slice pizza was invented.

*** Read over your sentences to make sure information is not repeated. Also make sure that the tense in each sentence is consistent — if an event occurred in the past, then the verbs should be in the past. Use third person point of view, and do not use first person point of view (I, me, our) or second person point of view (you, your). Remember that the article summary needs six sentences. Additionally, check the source link to see that it works — for the link listed in the source for this article, the slash at the end of the link needed to be removed for it to work.

Fully edited paragraph:

Every second, Americans eat about 350 slices of pizza! But how did it even get invented? Well, America is made of immigrants. Four million out of the 20 million people that immigrated to America were Italian. They traveled west and went to suburbia, which injected the gooey cheese and tomato sauce that is put on everyday pizza. Since they had so many pizzas and so many American pizzerias, they invented the single slice pizza. This enabled hectic operators to eat on the go and eating could be done a lot quicker. This is how the single slice pizza was invented. Source: https://www.britannica.com/story/why-is-pizza-so-popular-in-the-u.s

Edited by Penny Yagake






WW3

Relations with Iraq were destroyed when the US launched a drone strike near Baghdad’s international airport on 1/3/20. The Parliament voted to expel US forces from the country. Iraq leaders are angry about the US drone strike.

Source: https://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2020/01/15/us/politics/ap-us-united-states-iraq.html?searchResultPosition=7

WW3

Relations with Iraq were destroyed when the US launched a drone strike near Baghdad’s international airport on 1/3/20.

*** Write out dates. 1/3/20 should be written as January 3, 2020. “US” should be written as “U.S.”

Edited sentence: Relations with Iraq were destroyed when the U.S. launched a drone strike near Baghdad’s international airport on January 3, 2020.

The Parliament voted to expel US forces from the country.

*** Which Parliament? “US” should be written as “U.S.”

Edited sentence: The Parliament voted to expel U.S. forces from the country.

Iraq leaders are angry about the US drone strike.

*** Add an ‘s after “Iraq.” “US” should be written as “U.S.”

Edited sentence: Iraq’s leaders are angry about the U.S. drone strike.

*** According to the New York Times website, the article is no longer available. However, remember that your article summary needs six sentences. Write out dates fully and write “US” as “U.S.” And remember to include important information — there are many parliaments, so include in the summary which parliament is mentioned here.

Fully edited article:

Relations with Iraq were destroyed when the U.S. launched a drone strike near Baghdad’s international airport on January 3, 2020. The Parliament voted to expel U.S. forces from the country. Iraq’s leaders are angry about the U.S. drone strike. Source: https://www.nytimes.com/aponline/2020/01/15/us/politics/ap-us-united-states-iraq.html?searchResultPosition=7

Edited by Penny Yagake





American Airlines pilots sue to stop flights to China 

       Ever since the coronavirus outbreak, the U.S. pilots are suing the airlines and most pilots refuse to fly to China. The virus is a public health emergency. Several international carriers have stopped flying to China. The U.S. has not canceled any U.S.-China flights.

Source: https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2020/jan/30/american-airlines-pilots-sue-over-china-flights/


American Airlines pilots sue to stop flights to China


*** This title is the same as the source. Please create your own title.


Ever since the coronavirus outbreak, the U.S. pilots are suing the airlines and most pilots refuse to fly to China.


*** “the” is not needed before “U.S. pilots.” Since the source is discussing one airline, “airlines” does not need an “s.”


Edited sentence: Ever since the coronavirus outbreak, U.S. pilots are suing the airline and most pilots refuse to fly to China.


The virus is a public health emergency.


*** This is okay.


Several international carriers have stopped flying to China.


*** Since this comes from a person’s statement, I would include the name of the person who said this.


Edited sentence: According to the Allied Pilots Association President, Eric Ferguson, several international carriers have stopped flying to China.


The U.S. has not canceled any U.S.-China flights.


*** Specifically, American Airlines has not canceled any U.S.-China flights, not the whole U.S.


Edited sentence: American Airlines has not canceled any U.S.-China flights.


*** Remember that the article summary should have six sentences.


Fully edited article:


American Airlines pilots sue to stop flights to China


Ever since the coronavirus outbreak, U.S. pilots are suing the airline and most pilots refuse to fly to China. The virus is a public health emergency. According to the Allied Pilots Association President, Eric Ferguson, several international carriers have stopped flying to China. American Airlines has not canceled any U.S.-China flights. Source: https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2020/jan/30/american-airlines-pilots-sue-over-china-flights/
Edited by Penny Yagake





Simple Blood Tests Could Revolutionize Cancer Treatment 

        Dolbier was surprised to learn that the medical center was part of a research trial that would analyze tiny fragments of cancer DNA that the tumor had shed in her blood. Partially thanks to therapies, the American Cancer Society announced earlier this year the biggest single-year drop in cancer mortality, between 2016 and 2017. Sequencing machines could analyze fetal DNA in the mother’s blood and detect a baby’s risk of Down syndrome in addition to several other genetic disorders as early as nine weeks into a pregnancy.

Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/how-simple-blood-tests-could-revolutionize-cancer-treatment-180974140/

Simple Blood Tests Could Revolutionize Cancer Treatment

      • This title is almost the same as the source article, except that “How” has been removed. More than that has to be changed. Please create your own title.
      Dolbier was surprised to learn that the medical center was part of a research trial that would analyze tiny fragments of cancer DNA that the tumor had shed in her blood.
      • This sentence is copied exactly from the source article. Rewrite this sentence with your own words.
Partially thanks to therapies, the American Cancer Society announced earlier this year the biggest single-year drop in cancer mortality, between 2016 and 2017.
      • This sentence is nearly the same as the source article, except that “such drug” before “therapies” has been removed. Rewrite this sentence with your own words.
Sequencing machines could analyze fetal DNA in the mother’s blood and detect a baby’s risk of Down syndrome in addition to several other genetic disorders as early as nine weeks into a pregnancy.
      • This sentence is copied exactly from the source article. Rewrite this sentence with your own words.
      • As stated before, you must write these sentences with your own words to improve your own writing. You cannot just change a few words from the source article. Also remember to follow the six sentence structure.

Edited by Penny Yagake





Megalodons! 

      Researchers say that the 60-80 feet shark was extinct even before humans were born. The largest megalodon tooth measures around 7 inches (17.8 centimeters) in length, which is almost three times longer than those of great white sharks. That giant size led ancient peoples to theorize about the creatures' origins. "Original calculations greatly overestimated the size of megalodon," Marty Becker, a William Paterson University Professor of environmental science who studies shark paleontology said. Megalodon teeth have been found on every continent except Antarctica. Megalodon may have gone extinct when these seas dried up, the ice age began and water was locked up at the poles, according to Discovery. The shark either starved or was frozen into extinction. It may have even eaten other sharks, according to Discovery.

https://www.livescience.com/63361-megalodon-facts.html

Megalodons! 

    Researchers say that the 60-80 feet shark was extinct even before humans were born.
      • To say “before humans evolved” would be more accurate. There should be a hyphen after “80,” but writing “60-80-feet shark” might look confusing, so I reworded this part.

Edited sentence: Researchers say that the megalodon, measuring 60-80 feet long, was extinct even before humans evolved. 

The largest megalodon tooth measures around 7 inches (17.8 centimeters) in length, which is almost three times longer than those of great white sharks.
      • This sentence is copied from the source. Rewrite this sentence.
That giant size led ancient peoples to theorize about the creatures' origins.
      • This sentence is also copied from the source. Rewrite this sentence. You could even combine this sentence with the previous sentence. 
"Original calculations greatly overestimated the size of megalodon," Marty Becker, a William Paterson University Professor of environmental science who studies shark paleontology said.
      • This is very close to the original sentence in the source, except that “told Live Science” has been changed to “said.”
Megalodon teeth have been found on every continent except Antarctica.
      • This sentence is copied from the source. Rewrite this sentence.

Megalodon may have gone extinct when these seas dried up, the ice age began and water was locked up at the poles, according to Discovery.

      • This sentence is also copied from the source. Rewrite this sentence.
The shark either starved or was frozen into extinction.
      • This sentence, like the previous two sentences, is copied from and written in the same sequence as the source. Rewrite this sentence.
It may have even eaten other sharks, according to Discovery.
      • This sentence is also copied from the source. Rewrite this sentence.
      • Only the first sentence of this article is acceptable. The rest of this article is either copied directly from the source or has only one or two words changed — both of these are still considered plagiarism. Some sentences in this article follow the same sequence as the source. You must write your own sentences to improve your own writing. Read the source article and summarize the information without copying the source.


Edited article:

Megalodons!

Researchers say that the megalodon, measuring 60-80 feet long, was extinct even before humans evolved. Source: https://www.livescience.com/63361-megalodon-facts.html

Original article:

Megalodons! 

    Researchers say that the 60-80 feet shark was extinct even before humans were born. The largest megalodon tooth measures around 7 inches (17.8 centimeters) in length, which is almost three times longer than those of great white sharks. That giant size led ancient peoples to theorize about the creatures' origins. "Original calculations greatly overestimated the size of megalodon," Marty Becker, a William Paterson University Professor of environmental science who studies shark paleontology said. Megalodon teeth have been found on every continent except Antarctica. Megalodon may have gone extinct when these seas dried up, the ice age began and water was locked up at the poles, according to Discovery. The shark either starv

ed or was frozen into extinction. It may have even eaten other sharks, according to Discovery.

https://www.livescience.com/63361-megalodon-facts.html

Edited by Penny Yagake





Married Off-Duty Police Officers Cut Date Night Short to Stop Armed Robber at Restaurant 

      There were two police officers who were on a date. When they were about to finish eating, a thief came and was about to steal money. They chased after the thief and the thief cornered himself. Since they first shared dinner at Raising Cane’s on their wedding night, Chase and Nicole McKeown say they have been going out on weekly date nights at the recommendation of their local church—although this most recent evening was apparently the most interesting by far.

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/married-cops-having-date-night-stop-armed-restaurant-robber/

Married Off-Duty Police Officers Cut Date Night Short to Stop Armed Robber at Restaurant 

    There were two police officers who were on a date.
      • I suggest mentioning “Chase and Nicole McKeown” here since this sentence identifies them as police officers. I added the police department’s name and the restaurant's name to give the reader more background. “There were” is not needed.

Edited sentence: Two police officers, Chase and Nicole McKeown from the Elizabethtown Police Department, were on a date at Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers. 

When they were about to finish eating, a thief came and was about to steal money.
      • I do not see a section in the source article that mentions this occurred specifically when “they were about to finish eating.” If this happens to be a quote from another source, you must credit the source. Since you use “robber” in the title, I changed “thief” to “robber” so that the use of the word would be consistent through this article.

Edited sentence: While they were eating, a robber came in and was about to steal money from the restaurant.

They chased after the thief and the thief cornered himself.

      • This sentence would be good except the source does not state that the robber cornered himself — rather, the police officers cornered him.

Edited sentence: The police officers chased after the robber and cornered him. 

Since they first shared dinner at Raising Cane’s on their wedding night, Chase and Nicole McKeown say they have been going out on weekly date nights at the recommendation of their local church—although this most recent evening was apparently the most interesting by far.
      • Remember that your article needs six sentences. This article is an improvement from the previous ones I have seen, but the last sentence indicates plagiarism and should be rewritten. You must either write the information in your own words or quote the source and credit them properly, otherwise it is considered plagiarism.

Edited article:

Married Off-Duty Police Officers Cut Date Night Short to Stop Armed Robber at Restaurant

Two police officers, Chase and Nicole McKeown from the Elizabethtown Police Department, were on a date at Raising Cane’s Chicken Fingers. While they were eating, a robber came in and was about to steal money from the restaurant. The police officers chased after the robber and cornered him.

Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/married-cops-having-date-night-stop-armed-restaurant-robber/

Original article:

Married Off-Duty Police Officers Cut Date Night Short to Stop Armed Robber at Restaurant 

    There were two police officers who were on a date. When they were about to finish eating, a thief came and was about to steal money. They chased after the thief and the thief cornered himself. Since they first shared dinner at Raising Cane’s on their wedding night, Chase and Nicole McKeown say they have been going out on weekly date nights at the recommendation of their local church—although this most recent evening was apparently the most interesting by far.

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/married-cops-having-date-night-stop-armed-restaurant-robber/

Edited by Penny Yagake





A heartwarming story 

      A 2-year-old boy’s simple gesture of love towards a pizza delivery driver has generated a ripple effect of kindness for the man and his family. Last week, Lindsey Sheely was receiving a pizza delivery order at her home in West Warwick, Rhode Island, when her son Cohen felt compelled to run out to the driver on the porch and offer him a hug as a thank you for their dinner.  Catterson’s GoFundMe campaign to raise money for his daughter’s funeral expenses has surged past its original goal, garnering more than $28,000 in donations.

https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/2-year-old-hugs-grieving-delivery-driver-who-just-lost-his-daughter/

A heartwarming story

      • Remember to capitalize all the words in the title unless there are particles such as “the” or “of. There are many stories that can be considered heartwarming, so this title should include details more specific to the source.

Edited title: Two-Year-Old’s Hug Warms a Pizza Delivery Man's Heart 

    A 2-year-old boy’s simple gesture of love towards a pizza delivery driver has generated a ripple effect of kindness for the man and his family.
      • This sentence is exactly the same as the source. This is plagiarism, meaning taking someone else's words and ideas as your own. Plagiarizing does not improve writing. You must use your own words to write your article.


Last week, Lindsey Sheely was receiving a pizza delivery order at her home in West Warwick, Rhode Island, when her son Cohen felt compelled to run out to the driver on the porch and offer him a hug as a thank you for their dinner.

      • Again, this is plagiarism because this sentence is an exact copy of the sentence in the source. The only difference is that “and kiss on the cheek” has been removed. Do not copy exact sentences from the article. You must write this information in your own words.


Catterson’s GoFundMe campaign to raise money for his daughter’s funeral expenses has surged past its original goal, garnering more than $28,000 in donations.

      • Again, this is plagiarism. You must use your own words.



Edited article:

Two-Year-Old's Hug Warms a Pizza Delivery Man's Heart 

    A 2-year-old boy’s simple gesture of love towards a pizza delivery driver has generated a ripple effect of kindness for the man and his family. Last week, Lindsey Sheely was receiving a pizza delivery order at her home in West Warwick, Rhode Island, when her son Cohen felt compelled to run out to the driver on the porch and offer him a hug as a thank you for their dinner.  Catterson’s GoFundMe campaign to raise money for his daughter’s funeral expenses has surged past its original goal, garnering more than $28,000 in donations.

Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/2-year-old-hugs-grieving-delivery-driver-who-just-lost-his-daughter/

Edited by Penny Yagake





Whales help against climate change 

      Great blue whales—and their poo—have on climate change. It is all due to the control of whale fecal matter in the diets of the tiny ocean residents called phytoplankton. The top ocean layer “fecal plumes” provide a key food source for phytoplankton which feeds on non-organic nutrients like nitrates, phosphates, and sulfur.“At a minimum, even a 1% increase in phytoplankton productivity thanks to whale activity would capture hundreds of millions of tons of additional CO2 a year, equivalent to the sudden appearance of 2 billion mature trees,” writes Chiami. Dr.Chiami suggests that since phytoplankton populations expand wherever whales are, a significant effort should be made to combat climate change by encouraging the growth and protection of whale populations.

Whales help against climate change

      • Remember to capitalize all the words in the title unless there are particles such as “the” or “of.”

Edited title: Whales Help Against Climate Change 

    Great blue whales—and their poo—have on climate change.
      • This sentence is taken directly from this source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/whales-feces-could-significantly-combat-climate-change/. If you are quoting directly from the source, include quotation marks before and after the quote. Otherwise, paraphrase and write this information out in your own words. Do not take direct phrases from a source without crediting the source — this is plagiarism. This sentence is also incomplete. What do great blue whales and their feces have on climate change? A more formal term to use for “poo” would be “feces.”

Edited sentence: Great blue whales — and their feces — have an effect on climate change. 

It is all due to the control of whale fecal matter in the diets of the tiny ocean residents called phytoplankton.
      • Again, this sentence is plagiarized. You have to change more than a few words — you have to paraphrase or use all your own words to explain this information. Define “it.” Is “it” the effect that whales’ fecal matter has on climate change? I edited this sentence for better flow. “It is all due to” can be shortened to “This is because.”

Edited sentence: This is because the whales’ fecal matter is controlled in the diet of tiny ocean residents called phytoplankton. 

The top ocean layer “fecal plumes” provide a key food source for phytoplankton which feeds on non-organic nutrients like nitrates, phosphates, and sulfur.
      • Again, this is plagiarism. More than one phytoplankton is being talked about here, so “feeds” does not need an “s.”

Edited sentence: The “fecal plumes” at the top ocean layer provide a key food source for the phytoplankton which feed on non-organic nutrients like nitrates, phosphates, and sulfur.

“At a minimum, even a 1% increase in phytoplankton productivity thanks to whale activity would capture hundreds of millions of tons of additional CO2 a year, equivalent to the sudden appearance of 2 billion mature trees,” writes Chiami.

      • You should inform the reader who “Chiami” is. Is Chiami a scientist or do they have another occupation? I also noticed that “Dr. Chiami” is written in the next sentence, so make sure that the name is consistent throughout the article. If a person uses a title such as “Dr.” always be sure to include it.

Edited sentence: “At a minimum, even a 1% increase in phytoplankton productivity thanks to whale activity would capture hundreds of millions of tons of additional CO2 a year, equivalent to the sudden appearance of 2 billion mature trees,” writes Dr. Chiami. 

Dr.Chiami suggests that since phytoplankton populations expand wherever whales are, a significant effort should be made to combat climate change by encouraging the growth and protection of whale populations.
      • Include a space after “Dr.” Again, most of this sentence is plagiarized from the same source.

Edited sentence: According to Dr. Chiami, “since phytoplankton populations expand wherever whales are, a significant effort should be made to combat climate change by encouraging the growth and protection of whale populations.”

      • These sentences copy from the source, almost all word for word. Do not plagiarize the words of others — you must use your own words. Credit the source properly. Also, provide the source of the article otherwise the reader will not know where the information is from. I also need to check the source. Make sure that your article has six sentences.

Fully edited article:

Whales Help Against Climate Change

Great blue whales — and their feces — have an effect on climate change. This is because the whales’ fecal matter is controlled in the diet of tiny ocean residents called phytoplankton. The “fecal plumes” at the top ocean layer provide a key food source for the phytoplankton which feed on non-organic nutrients like nitrates, phosphates, and sulfur. “At a minimum, even a 1% increase in phytoplankton productivity thanks to whale activity would capture hundreds of millions of tons of additional CO2 a year, equivalent to the sudden appearance of 2 billion mature trees,” writes Dr. Chiami. According to Dr. Chiami, “since phytoplankton populations expand wherever whales are, a significant effort should be made to combat climate change by encouraging the growth and protection of whale populations.”

Original article:

Whales help against climate change 

    Great blue whales—and their poo—have on climate change. It is all due to the control of whale fecal matter in the diets of the tiny ocean residents called phytoplankton. The top ocean layer “fecal plumes” provide a key food source for phytoplankton which feeds on non-organic nutrients like nitrates, phosphates, and sulfur.“At a minimum, even a 1% increase in phytoplankton productivity thanks to whale activity would capture hundreds of millions of tons of additional CO2 a year, equivalent to the sudden appearance of 2 billion mature trees,” writes Chiami. Dr.Chiami suggests that since phytoplankton populations expand wherever whales are, a significant effort should be made to combat climate change by encouraging the growth and protection of whale populations.

Edited by Penny Yagake