Teda's Writing 
      Original: Many things happened to the participants. One detail from the text is “The latest follow up on a 2013, which found a dramatic increase in the flow of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the brains of Rabat’s and baboons during the sleep.” This means that researchers have to sleep more often. Another detail from the text is “ To observe the brain during the sleep, the researchers asked 13 participants to avoid their comfortable beds and spend the night sleeping inside an MRI machine.” This shows that have to avoid their comfortable beds and sleep inside a MRI machine. In conclusion, this is what happens to participants.

Edits:

      • Many things happened to the participants.


Editing for clarity: In this text, I noticed a couple of things that happened to the participants.
State 'in this text' to make it clear to the reader

      • One detail from the text is “The latest follow up on a 2013, which found a dramatic increase in the flow of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the brains of Rabat’s and baboons during the sleep.” This means that researchers have to sleep more often.


Edited for fluidity: One detail from the text is "The latest follow up on 2013, which found a dramatic increase in the flow of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the brains of Rabt's and baboons during the sleep," which means that researches have to sleep more often.
Take out the 'a' in front of 2013. Combined these two sentences.

      • Another detail from the text is “ To observe the brain during the sleep, the researchers asked 13 participants to avoid their comfortable beds and spend the night sleeping inside an MRI machine.”


Edited for clarity and grammar: Another detail from the text is "To observe the brain during their sleep, the researchers asked 13 participants to avoid their comfortable beds and spend the night sleeping inside an MRI machine."
instead of 'the sleep' put 'their sleep'

      • This shows that have to avoid their comfortable beds and sleep inside a MRI machine. In conclusion, this is what happens to participants.


Edited for clarity and grammar: This shows that they have to avoid their comfortable beds and sleep inside an MRI machine. In conclusion, all of these events make up what happens to participants.
Put the word 'they' in front of 'have' and put more details in the conclusion sentence.

Final Edit: In this text, I noticed a couple of things that happened to the participants. One detail from the text is "The latest follow up on 2013, which found a dramatic increase in the flow of cerebrospinal fluid (CSF) in the brains of Rabt's and baboons during the sleep," which means that researches have to sleep more often. Another detail from the text is "To observe the brain during their sleep, the researchers asked 13 participants to avoid their comfortable beds and spend the night sleeping inside an MRI machine." This shows that they have to avoid their comfortable beds and sleep inside an MRI machine. In conclusion, all of these events make up what happens to participants.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware







Original: There are many ways that you can help improve the Earth. One detail from the text is “But instead of turning to the trash bin, you could turn these items into awesome things.” This means that you can reuse these items and turn them into useful items. Another detail from the text “To help save even more water, challenge yourself to take a shorter shower.” This shows that you can save more water than usual. In conclusion, these are the ways of how you can help and improve the Earth.

Edits:

      • There are many ways that you can help improve the Earth.


Edited for grammar: There are many ways that we can help improve the Earth.
Instead of 'you' change it to 'we'

      • One detail from the text is “But instead of turning to the trash bin, you could turn these items into awesome things.” This means that you can reuse these items and turn them into useful items.


Edited for fluidity: One detail from the text is "But instead of turning to the trash bin, you could turn these items into awesome things" which means that you can reuse these items and turn them into useful items.
Combine these two sentences!

      • Another detail from the text “To help save even more water, challenge yourself to take a shorter shower.” This shows that you can save more water than usual.


Edited for clarity: Another detail from the text is to help save even more water, challenge yourself to take a shorter shower which shows you can save more water than usual.
Take out the quotes to connect these two sentences.

      • In conclusion, these are the ways of how you can help and improve the Earth.


Edited for grammar: In conclusion, these are ways that we can help and improve the Earth.
Take out the word 'the' before 'ways'

Final Edit:

There are many ways that we can help improve the Earth. One detail from the text is "But instead of turning to the trash bin, you could turn these items into awesome things" which means that you can reuse these items and turn them into useful items. Another detail from the text is to help save even more water, challenge yourself to take a shorter shower which shows you can save more water than usual. In conclusion, these are ways that we can help and improve the Earth.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware










Original: Boys in Maryland are helping seniors during this pandemic. To begin with, teens are going grocery shopping for seniors. One detail from the text is “Maryland teens go on grocery store runs for seniors. This means that seniors will stay safe from the pandemic while teens are going grocery store shopping. Furthermore, teens leave their bags out their door and seniors leave the cash out their door. Another detail from the text is “Bags of goods are left at their door, and cash is exchanged the same way.” This shows that teens do their part to stay safe and seniors are doing their part to stay safe too. In conclusion, this is how boys in Maryland are helping seniors during this pandemic.

Edits:

      • Boys in Maryland are helping seniors during this pandemic. To begin with, teens are going grocery shopping for seniors.


Edited for fluidity: Teens in Maryland are helping seniors during this pandemic by going to grocery stores and shopping for seniors.
Combine these two sentences and change 'boys' to 'teens' to make the sentence flow better

      • One detail from the text is “Maryland teens go on grocery store runs for seniors. This means that seniors will stay safe from the pandemic while teens are going grocery store shopping.


Edited for clarity: One detail from the text is that Maryland teens go on grocery store runs for seniors which means that seniors will stay safe from the pandemic while teens are going grocery store shopping.
Combine these two sentences and take out the quotations before "Maryland"

      • Furthermore, teens leave their bags out their door and seniors leave the cash out their door. Another detail from the text is “Bags of goods are left at their door, and cash is exchanged the same way.”


Edited for fluidity: Furthermore, teens leave their bags out of their door and seniors leave the cash out their door.
Combine these two sentences and take the quotations out. No need for this quote because the first sentence explains it.

      • This shows that teens do their part to stay safe and seniors are doing their part to stay safe too. In conclusion, this is how boys in Maryland are helping seniors during this pandemic.


Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this shows that teens do their part to stay safe and seniors are doing their part to stay safe too.
Take out the last sentence and start with 'In conclusion'

Final Edit: Teens in Maryland are helping seniors during this pandemic by going to grocery stores and shopping for seniors. One detail from the text is that Maryland teens go on grocery store runs for seniors which means that seniors will stay safe from the pandemic while teens are going grocery store shopping. Furthermore, teens leave their bags out of their door and seniors leave the cash out their door. In conclusion, this shows that teens do their part to stay safe and seniors are doing their part to stay safe too.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware 











Original: There are two ways in the story that reports that Earth Day is being celebrated. To begin with, people know that Earth Day is celebrated by doing good deeds. One detail from the text is “ These include planting trees, collecting roadside or Beach trash, and conducting, or participating in, recycling and conservation programs.” This means that doing goods deeds means that you are celebrating Earth Day. To add on, people know the day of Earth Day and know what they do. Another detail from the text is “ Earth Day, which is celebrated annually on April 22, is usually commemorate with outdoor activities demonstrating support for environmental protection.” This shows that Earth Day is celebrated on April 22and with environment protection. In conclusion, these are two ways of how Earth Day is celebrated.

Edits:

      • There are two ways in the story that reports that Earth Day is being celebrated.


Edited for clarity: There are two examples in the article that explain how Earth Day is being celebrated.
Changed the wording around a bit to make more sense. Good first sentence!

      • To begin with, people know that Earth Day is celebrated by doing good deeds.


Edited for fluidity: To begin with, people understand that Earth Day is celebrating by people doing good deeds.
Switched some wording around.

      • One detail from the text is “ These include planting trees, collecting roadside or Beach trash, and conducting, or participating in, recycling and conservation programs.” This means that doing goods deeds means that you are celebrating Earth Day.


Edited for clarity: One detail from the text is "These include planting trees, collecting roadside or beach trash, and conducting, or participating in, recycling and conservation programs" which means that doing good deeds means that you are celebrating Earth Day.
Combine these two sentences!

      • To add on, people know the day of Earth Day and know what they do.


This sentence is already explained at the beginning sentence so take this out

      • Another detail from the text is “ Earth Day, which is celebrated annually on April 22, is usually commemorate with outdoor activities demonstrating support for environmental protection.”


Edited for grammar: Another detail from the text is that "Earth day, which is celebrated annually on April 22nd, is usually commemorated with outdoor activities demonstrating support for environmental protection."
'is usually commemorate' should be 'is usually commemorated'

      • This shows that Earth Day is celebrated on April 22and with environment protection. In conclusion, these are two ways of how Earth Day is celebrated.


Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this shows that Earth day is celebrated on April 22nd with environmental protection.
Take out the last sentence.

Final Edit: There are two examples in the article that explain how Earth Day is being celebrated. To begin with, people understand that Earth Day is celebrating by people doing good deeds. One detail from the text is "These include planting trees, collecting roadside or beach trash, and conducting, or participating in, recycling and conservation programs" which means that doing good deeds means that you are celebrating Earth Day. Another detail from the text is that "Earth day, which is celebrated annually on April 22nd, is usually commemorated with outdoor activities demonstrating support for environmental protection." In conclusion, this shows that Earth day is celebrated on April 22nd with environmental protection.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware 










      There are two accomplishments that William has achieved. To begin with, William had recognized for his great work. One detail from the text is “ William had been recognized as a Purdential Spirit Of Community honorees.” This means that people recognized him because of his kindness. To add on, they both made a success. Another detail from the text is “William and Alexander made a success.” This shows that they both did what they needed to do. In conclusion, these are two accomplishments that William has achieved.

Edits:

      • There are two accomplishments that William has achieved. To begin with, William had recognized for his great work.


Edited for fluidity: William has been recognized for his great work and there are a couple of accomplishments that he has received.
Switch these two sentences around so the sentence flows better

      • One detail from the text is “ William had been recognized as a Purdential Spirit Of Community honorees.”


Edited for grammar and clarity: One detail from the text is that William has been recognized as a Prudential Spirit of Community Honorees.
No need for the quotations due to your explanation as it was stated in the text.

      • This means that people recognized him because of his kindness. To add on, they both made a success.


Edited for fluidity: To add on, people recognized him because of his kindness and success.
Connect these two sentences.

      • Another detail from the text is “William and Alexander made a success.” This shows that they both did what they needed to do.


Edited for fluidity: Another detail from the text is that William and Alexander made success which shows that they both did what they needed to do.
Connect these two sentences.

      • In conclusion, these are two accomplishments that William has achieved.


No need to edit.


Final Edit:

William has been recognized for his great work and there are a couple of accomplishments that he has received. One detail from the text is that William has been recognized as a Prudential Spirit of Community Honorees. To add on, people recognized him because of his kindness and success. Another detail from the text is that William and Alexander made success which shows that they both did what they needed to do. In conclusion, these are two accomplishments that William has achieved.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware 









  There are two new events that are stated in the story. To begin with, students get to celebrate graduation virtually. One detail from the text is “ Then began the virtual graduation ceremony.” This means that students can celebrate graduation. To add on, students got to celebrate graduation like they at school. Another detail from the text is “Each time a students name is called out by a moderator, one of the two remotely operated “New”me”” “”avatar robot, dressed in a graduation cap and gown, motored to the podium to accept the diploma from the president.” This shows that they get to celebrate graduation like they did at school. In conclusion, these are two new events that are stated in the story.











If a person wants to become a astronaut they need two requirements. To begin with, an astronaut needs a masters degree in stem. One detail from the text is “ NASA now requires a master’s degree in stem.” This means that stem is part of becoming a astronaut. Furthermore, you need to have experience in flying jet planes and other work experience can be acceptable. Another detail from the text is “You also need to have experience flying jet planes, though other work experience is also acceptable.” This shows that you need to have experience to become a astronaut. In conclusion, these are two details of requirements you need to become a astronaut. 








  There are two opposing views in the article. To being with, Mayor Bill De Blasio said that schools will not reopen. One detail from the text is “New York City school building will not reopen the academic year, Mayor Bill de Blasio announced Saturday.” This means that Mayor Bill de Blasio announced that schools will not reopen. To add on, Governor Cuomo announced that there has been no decision yet. Another detail from the text is “There has been no decision. That’s the mayor’s opinion. I value it”,Cuomo said.” This shows that the decision is not made and schools might still be open. In conclusion, these are the two opposing views in the article.
     






 There are two reasons of why the Eastern Tiger Salamanders are reappearing in Maryland. One reason from the text is “ They come out at night for feeding.” This means that they only come at night to feed their kids or themselves. Another reason from the text is “ Too shallow, they dry out; too deep, and the sun won’t get to the egg masses. This shows that maybe Maybe is perfect for the Tiger Salamanders. In conclusion, these are two reasons of why the Eastern Tiger Salamanders are reappearing in Maryland.

Edits:

      • There are two reasons of why the Eastern Tiger Salamanders are reappearing in Maryland.


Edited for grammar: There are two reasons why the Eastern Tiger Salamanders are reappearing in Maryland.
Take out the 'of' after reasons.

      • One reason from the text is “ They come out at night for feeding.” This means that they only come at night to feed their kids or themselves.


Edited for fluidity: One reason that is discussed from the text is that they come out at night to feed themselves and their kids.
Combine these two sentences to clarify why they come out at night. No need to quotations because you already clarified that it was from the text.

      • Another reason from the text is “ Too shallow, they dry out; too deep, and the sun won’t get to the egg masses.


Edited for clarity: The second reason that comes from the text is that if they are too shallow, they dry out and if they're too deep, the sun won't get to the egg masses.
No need for quotations. Instead of 'another reason' say the 'second reason'

      • This shows that maybe Maybe is perfect for the Tiger Salamanders. In conclusion, these are two reasons of why the Eastern Tiger Salamanders are reappearing in Maryland.


Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, these two reasons are great examples of why Eastern Tiger Salamanders are reappearing in Maryland.
Combined the last two sentences. Take out the two maybe's. Instead of saying 'this shows' say 'these two reasons'

Final Edit:

There are two reasons why the Eastern Tiger Salamanders are reappearing in Maryland. One reason that is discussed in the text is that they come out at night to feed themselves and their kids. The second reason that comes from the text is that if they are too shallow, they dry out and if they're too deep, the sun won't get to the egg masses. In conclusion, these two reasons are great examples of why Eastern Tiger Salamanders are reappearing in Maryland.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware 










Super moons are different from regular moons that we see. To begin with, the super moon is bigger and brighter than a average full moon. The text states “ Supermoons, which are usually about seven percent bigger and fifteen percent brighter than a average full moon.” This means that super moons can be bigger and brighter than a average full moon. Furthermore, some people think that super moons can cause natural disasters. According to the text it states “ Though some people believe that a super moons proximity results in earthquakes and tidal waves. This shows that super moons can cause natural disaster. In conclusion, this is how super moons are different from regular moons we see.
         









 Orginal: There are negative and positive reasons for practicing social distancing. To begin with, one negative reason is that standing six feet apart can still spread the virus. The text states “ Even standing six feet apart from one and another, people can spread the virus though droplets from coughs and sneezes.” This means that standing six feet apart can still spread the virus. To add on, one positive reason is that social distancing can reduce the chances of getting the virus. According to the text it states “ social distancing limits the chances of that.” This shows that social distancing can help pervert the virus. In conclusion, this is the negative and positive reasons for practicing social distancing.

Edits:

      • There are negative and positive reasons for practicing social distancing.


Edited for fluidity: There are negative and positive reasons to practice social distancing.
Instead of 'for practicing' switched it to 'to practice' to make the sentence flow better.

      • To begin with, one negative reason is that standing six feet apart can still spread the virus.


No need to edit this sentence. Great job!

      • The text states “ Even standing six feet apart from one and another, people can spread the virus though droplets from coughs and sneezes.”


Edited for grammar and clarity: The text states "Even standing six feet apart from one another, people can spread the virus through droplets of coughs and sneezes."
Take out the word 'and' between one and another. The word 'though' should be 'through' and 'from' should be 'of'

      • This means that standing six feet apart can still spread the virus.


This sentence should be deleted because it is already stated in the second sentence.

      • To add on, one positive reason is that social distancing can reduce the chances of getting the virus.


No need to edit this sentence. Great grammar!

      • According to the text it states “ social distancing limits the chances of that.” This shows that social distancing can help pervert the virus.


Edited for grammar and fluidity: According to the text, it states that social distancing limits the chances of that. This shows that social distancing can help prevent the virus.
No need for quotations because you stated it came from the text. Change 'pervert' to 'prevent'

      • In conclusion, this is the negative and positive reasons for practicing social distancing.


Edited for clarity: In conclusion, these are negative and positive reasons to practice social distancing.
Changed some words around to sound more clear.

Final Edit: There are negative and positive reasons to practice social distancing. To begin with, one negative reason is that standing six feet apart can still spread the virus. The text states "Even standing six feet apart from one another, people can spread the virus through droplets of coughs and sneezes." To add on, one positive reason is that social distancing can reduce the chances of getting the virus. According to the text, it states that social distancing limits the chances of that. This shows that social distancing can help prevent the virus. In conclusion, these are negative and positive reasons to practice social distancing.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware 








        JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children while being in lockdown.To begin with, this will be leading to a surge of internet use and increase interest of online tools.The text states” Leading to a surge in internet use and increase interest of online tools.” This means that JK Rowling can increase more numbers of internet use and online tools.To add on, JK Rowling can help keep children amused and interested while being in lockdown.According to the text it states” parents, teachers, and cares, working to keep children amused and interested while we’re on lockdown might need a little magic.”This shows that JK Rowling can keep children busy while being in lockdown.In conclusion, this is how JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children while being in lockdown.

Edits:

      • JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children while being in lockdown.


Edited for punctuation and word choice: J.K. Rowling built a webpage that helps students keep busy during this lockdown.


J.K. needs to be separated with one period after the J and one after the K. Use the word 'believe' instead of thinks. Don’t use the word ‘think.’ Begin with,

      • To begin with, this will be leading to a surge of internet use and increase interest of online tools.


Edited for fluidity: To begin with, this will lead to a surge of internet use and increase interest of online tools.


Great second sentence. Add a space after the period of the first sentence. Instead of 'will be leading to' change it to 'will lead to.' Take out the word ‘with’ after begin.

      • The text states” Leading to a surge in internet use and increase interest of online tools.” This means that JK Rowling can increase more numbers of internet use and online tools.


Edited for fluidity and clarity: “Leading to a surge in internet use and increase interest of online tools.” This statement discusses that J.K. Rowling can increase more numbers of internet use and online tools.



Great quote from the article! Use the quotations facing the first word, ‘Leading.’

      • This means that JK Rowling can increase more numbers of internet use and online tools.

Edited for fluidity: No need to keep this sentence in because it is already stated for the sentence before.

      • To add on, JK Rowling can help keep children amused and interested while being in lockdown.


Great transition statement. No need to edit this sentence.

      • According to the text it states” parents, teachers, and cares, working to keep children amused and interested while we’re on lockdown might need a little magic.”


This is a great quote but I think it doesn’t need to be in this paragraph since you already have a great one at the beginning of this paragraph.

      • This shows that JK Rowling can keep children busy while being in lockdown.In conclusion, this is how JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children while being in lockdown.


Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, I believe J.K. Rowling’s new webpage is a great way for students to keep busy during this lockdown.


Take out the first sentence and begin with the conclusion sentence. Instead of saying, ‘this is how J.K. Rowling thinks, say ‘this is how I think.’ It gives the audience your opinion which means more.


Final edit: J.K. Rowling built a webpage that helps students keep busy during this lockdown. To begin, this will lead to a surge of internet use and increase the interest in online tools. “Leading to a surge in internet use and increase interest of online tools.” This statement discusses that J.K. Rowling can increase more numbers of internet use and online tools. To add on, JK Rowling can help keep children amused and interested while being in lockdown. In conclusion, I believe J.K. Rowling’s new webpage is a great way for students to keep busy during this lockdown.

Edited by Kelsey Eggsware 









      Postponing the 2020 Olympics are causing two negative situations.To begin with, all 11,000 athletes have been training all these years and now all the training is becoming useless.The text states “For federations and leagues that must now adapt their schedules, and for the 11,000 athletes who had spent years training this summer.This means that all their training was useless.To add on, people have been getting headaches and heartaches because of this situation.According to the text it states “It also figures to cause headaches and heartaches across the international sports community.”This shows that people are getting sick because of this situation.In conclusion, these are the two ways that cause negative situations by postponing the 2020 Olympics.
    












     There are two activities that are the most fun to do.To begin with, indoor basketball is a great way to have fun and while getting exercise.The text states”An over-the-door basketball hoop and miniature ball is a great way for kids to get some exercise while stuck indoors.”This means that this is a great way to have fun while exercising.To add on,I think marble runs is best for kids.According to the text it states “constructing a marble run is a great way for kids to build their motor skills.”This shows that marble run is best for kids.In conclusion, these are two activities to do indoors.
    








    There are many ways for students to learn best while studying online.To begin with, you will collect more information, finish more tasks, and will have greater productivity.In the text it states “you’ll absorb more information and complete assignments with greater productivity.”This means that kids will collect more and more information and be very productive.To add on, it makes kids off the bed or sofa.According to the text it states “it separates from you from your bed or sofa.”This shows that online class can distract you from being lazy.In conclusion, these are some ways for students to learn best while studying online.






     There are many ways to prevent from the infection.One way is by washing your hands for 20 seconds about the length of the ABC song.Based on the text it states “Students and Staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds-about the length of the”alphabet  song”.This means that if you wash your hands for 20 seconds it will take all your germs away from your hands.Another way is by to cover your mouth while coughing or sneezing.According to the text it states”Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus drops lets.This shows that when you cover your mouth less germs spread through the air.The last way is by touching your face less often than usual.In the text it states”As much as possible,adults and children alike should practice to avoid touching their faces “.To clarify,this shows that if you touch your face less often it will stop letting germs in your body.In conclusion,these are some ways to pervert the infection.

Comments: There are many ways to prevent from the infection.

      • edited for fluidity- There are many ways to prevent becoming infected by the COVID_19 virus.

One way is by washing your hands for 20 seconds about the length of the ABC song.Based on the text it states “Students and Staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds-about the length of the”alphabet song”.

      • edited for fluidity- Washing your hands for 20 seconds is one way to avoid infection. According to the text, "Students and Staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds-about the length of the ”alphabet song”.

This means that if you wash your hands for 20 seconds it will take all your germs away from your hands.

      • edited for fluidity and clarity- This means that taking more time to wash your hands will ensure that you are washing away all germs.

Another way is by to cover your mouth while coughing or sneezing.According to the text it states”Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus drops lets.

      • edited for fluidity- Another way to prevent spread of infection is to cover your mouth while coughing or sneezing. The text states ”Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus droplets."

This shows that when you cover your mouth less germs spread through the air.

The last way is by touching your face less often than usual.

      • edited for fluidity- The final solution offered is to avoid touching your face.

In the text it states”As much as possible,adults and children alike should practice to avoid touching their faces “.To clarify,this shows that if you touch your face less often it will stop letting germs in your body.

      • edited for fluidity- In the text it states, ”As much as possible, adults and children alike should practice to avoid touching their faces “. Basically, if you avoid touch your face, you can help to prevent germs from entering your body."

In conclusion, these are some ways to pervert the infection.

      • edited for spelling and fluidity- In conclusion, these are a few of the ways that you can avoid getting infected by the COVID_19 virus.

Final copy:

There are many ways to prevent becoming infected by the COVID_19 virus. Washing your hands for 20 seconds is one way to avoid infection. According to the text, "Students and Staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds-about the length of the ”alphabet song”. This means that taking more time to wash your hands will ensure that you are washing away all germs. Another way to prevent spread of infection is to cover your mouth while coughing or sneezing. The text states ”Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus droplets."This shows that when you cover your mouth less germs spread through the air. The final solution offered is to avoid touching your face. In the text it states, ”As much as possible, adults and children alike should practice to avoid touching their faces “. Basically, if you avoid touch your face, you can help to prevent germs from entering your body." In conclusion, these are a few of the ways that you can avoid getting infected by the COVID_19 virus.