Tent's Writing Page
I would choose jigsaw puzzles and indoor basketball for many reasons I would choose for many reasons. I choose a jigsaw puzzle because it helps you vitual-spitual. It can help you with driving a car,using a map, learning and following dance moves, and a whole host of other things.I choose this because these things can be really useful when I'm big.i choose indoor basketball because it can burn a lot of my calories and become fit instead of becoming fat. Burns calories (an hour 630-750 calories).I choose indoor basketball because it gives your whole body exercice because there is a lot of running,jumping,and I like playing basketball a lot.
I would choose jigsaw puzzles and indoor basketball for many reasons I would choose for many reasons.
- The “I would choose for many reasons” at the end of this sentence is not needed. Additionally, do not use first person point of view (“I”). Use third person point of view, which does not use “I.” Also, please restate the prompt, otherwise it is not clear what this paragraph is responding to.
Edited sentence: People could choose jigsaw puzzles and indoor basketball for many reasons.
I choose a jigsaw puzzle because it helps you vitual-spitual.
- I am not sure what “vitual-spitual” means. Avoid first person point of view (“I”) and second person point of view (“you”). Use third person point of view. Third person point of view names a person, and does not use “I” or “you.”
Edited sentence: People can choose a jigsaw puzzle because it helps them virtually and spiritually.
It can help you with driving a car,using a map, learning and following dance moves, and a whole host of other things.
- A space after the first comma is needed. Choose either “learning” or “following” because you do not need to include both words. Avoid second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view.
Edited sentence: It can help people with driving a car, using a map, learning dance moves, and a whole host of other things.
I choose this because these things can be really useful when I'm big.
- Avoid using the word “things” and replace it with words that describe what those things are. Avoid first person point of view and use third person point of view.
Edited sentence: People choose this activity because it can be really useful when a person gets older.
i choose indoor basketball because it can burn a lot of my calories and become fit instead of becoming fat.
- Describe what becomes “fit.” Avoid first person point of view and use third person point of view.
Edited sentence: People choose indoor basketball because it can burn a lot of calories and help them become fit instead of becoming fat.
Burns calories (an hour 630-750 calories).
- You can combine this sentence with the previous sentence.
Edited sentence: People choose indoor basketball because it can burn a lot of calories (630-750 calories an hour) and help them become fit instead of becoming fat.
I choose indoor basketball because it gives your whole body exercice because there is a lot of running,jumping,and I like playing basketball a lot.
- Add a space after each comma. “exercice” should be spelled as “exercise.” Avoid first person point of view (“I”) and second person point of view (“you”). Use third person point of view. I would split this sentence into two sentences.
Edited sentence: People choose indoor basketball because it gives the whole body exercise from a lot of running and jumping. Playing basketball is enjoyable.
- Please restate the prompt in your paragraph. Additionally, please use third person point of view instead of first person point of view ("I") or second person point of view ("you").
Edited paragraph:
People could choose jigsaw puzzles and indoor basketball for many reasons. People can choose a jigsaw puzzle because it helps them virtually and spiritually. It can help people with driving a car, using a map, learning dance moves, and a whole host of other things. People choose this activity because it can be really useful when a person gets older. People choose indoor basketball because it can burn a lot of calories (630-750 calories an hour) and help them become fit instead of becoming fat. People choose indoor basketball because it gives the whole body exercise from a lot of running and jumping. Playing basketball is enjoyable.
Original paragraph:
I would choose jigsaw puzzles and indoor basketball for many reasons I would choose for many reasons. I choose a jigsaw puzzle because it helps you vitual-spitual. It can help you with driving a car,using a map, learning and following dance moves, and a whole host of other things.I choose this because these things can be really useful when I'm big.i choose indoor basketball because it can burn a lot of my calories and become fit instead of becoming fat. Burns calories (an hour 630-750 calories).I choose indoor basketball because it gives your whole body exercice because there is a lot of running,jumping,and I like playing basketball a lot.
Postponing the 2020 Olympics are causing negative situations for many reasons.11,000 athletes participated for the Olympics which is now canceled so its a big headache and heartache for everyone involved. Also, there is lot of money invovled by the organiser which is now their loss .For example in the text it says that The decision to move the multi-billion dollar event next year .This is a negative situation because people are losing money.
Postponing the 2020 Olympics are causing negative situations for many reasons.
*** “Postponing” is a single action, therefore the singular verb “is” should be used instead of “are.”
Edited sentence: Postponing the 2020 Olympics is causing negative situations for many reasons.
11,000 athletes participated for the Olympics which is now canceled so its a big headache and heartache for everyone involved.
*** “for” should be changed to “in.” “its” should be written as “it’s” meaning “it is.”
Edited sentence: 11,000 athletes participated in the Olympics which is now canceled so it’s a big headache and heartache for everyone involved.
Also, there is lot of money invovled by the organiser which is now their loss .
*** Add “a” before “lot.” “invovled” should be spelled as “involved.” Remove the extra space before the period. “by” should be changed to “from.”
Edited sentence: Also, there is a lot of money involved from the organiser which is now their loss.
For example in the text it says that The decision to move the multi-billion dollar event next year .
*** This sentence is incomplete. Part of the quote appears to be missing. Additionally, if there is a quote here, there needs to be quotation marks at the beginning of the quote and at the end of the quote.
Edited sentence: For example in the text it says that “The decision to move the multi-billion dollar event next year.”
This is a negative situation because people are losing money.
*** Good.
*** Please put new paragraphs at the top of your page, not at the bottom. Be sure to check the spelling and word choice in your sentences. Also make sure that quotes are written correctly according to the text.
Edited paragraph:
Postponing the 2020 Olympics is causing negative situations for many reasons. 11,000 athletes participated in the Olympics which is now canceled so it’s a big headache and heartache for everyone involved. Also, there is a lot of money involved from the organiser which is now their loss. For example in the text it says that “The decision to move the multi-billion dollar event next year.” This is a negative situation because people are losing money.
