The World for Freedom

Revision as of 05:15, 2 June 2020

Zila's Writing Page

Nat thought the school was nice because of all the priorities they get. An example was they get a fresh look at have a fun day. The text states, We always allow one pillow fight every Saturday night. So, you know the school has a lot of fun thing for the kids that make them comfortable. Another reason Nat thought the school was nice is because they make you look nice and care about you. This means they clean you cut your hair and take care of you when you are sick. The text states, She will give you a nice bath, cut your hair, and make you all comfy. So, you know they want to make you look fresh and clean.

For fluidity, clarity: Nat believed the school was nice because of all of its advantages.

For clarity: An example is that they get to have fun days.

For structure: The text states, "We always allow one pillow fight every Saturday night."

         Once again, look at the quotation structure. 

For fluidity, clarity: So, the school has a lot of fun things for the kids that make them comfortable there.

For clarity, fluidity: Another reason Nat thought the school was good is that it cares about the students and makes them look nice.

For grammar: This means they clean you, cut your hair, and take care of you when you are sick.

For structure: The text states, "She will give you a nice bath, cut your hair, and make you all comfy."

So, you know they want to make you look fresh and clean.

Fully Edited Summary: Nat believed the school was nice because of all of its advantages. An example is that they get to have fun days. The text states, "We always allow one pillow fight every Saturday night." So, the school has a lot of fun things for the kids that make them comfortable there. Another reason Nat thought the school was good is that it cares about the students and makes them look nice. This means they clean you, cut your hair, and take care of you when you are sick. The text states, "She will give you a nice bath, cut your hair, and make you all comfy." So, you know they want to make you look fresh and clean.

Good work!

• Edited by Hailey

What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said the boy had something in him she meant that he had talent. This means that there was something special about him that he had which was his love for music. The text states, You play well my son. This means that his music was very good and everyone liked it. Another reason is that he tries so hard. One example is when they said play the fiddle he said he would try his hardest. The text states, I'll do the best I can ma'am. So , you can tell he always tries his best which Mrs. Bhaer knew.

For concision, clarity: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said that the boy had something in him was that he had talent.

          Good sentence!

For fluidity: This means that there was something special about him, which was his love for music.

For structure: The text states, "You play well, my son."

            Quotation marks go after the period.

This means that his music was very good and everyone liked it.

        This sentence is grammatically correct, but try not to analyze the previous quote in such a structured format. You don't need to begin the sentence with "this means that..." Adding variety to your sentences will help your writing greatly!

Another reason is that he tries so hard.

For clarity: One example is when the people told him to play the fiddle, he literally said he would try his hardest.

     Add certain words that will make your sentences hit your point home!

For structure: The text states, "I'll do the best I can ma'am."

For grammar: So, you can tell he always tries his best, which Mrs. Bhaer knew.

          Commas can add clarity!

Fully Edited Summary: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said that the boy had something in him was that he had talent. This means that there was something special about him, which was his love for music. The text states, "You play well, my son." This means that his music was very good and everyone liked it. Another reason is that he tries so hard. One example is when the people told him to play the fiddle, he literally said he would try his hardest. The text states, "I'll do the best I can ma'am." So, you can tell he always tries his best, which Mrs. Bhaer knew.

Great work!

• Edited by Hailey

We know mrs. Bhaer is a thoughtful person because she cares about others. An example is when Nat and two other boys came and where wet she took them off and gave them warn slippers and new clothes. The text states, With dry socks and warm slippers. This means that she cares about people and about their health and state. Another reason is she feeds the kids and makes sure they aren't hungry. She feed them at every meal time and gives them little rules to follow. The text states, All their rules were few and sensible, By putting a whole baked apple pie in his mouth. You can tell by this that mrs. Bhaer makes sure the kids eat as much as they need.

For grammar: We know Mrs. Bhaer is a thoughtful person because she cares about others.

           Always capitalize on prefixes!

For grammar, clarity: An example of her thoughtfulness would be when Nat and two other boys were wet, and Mrs. Bhaer took off their wet clothes and gave them warm slippers and new clothes.

           Using proper nouns within sentences always makes them a bit more clear! 

For grammar, structure: The text states, the kids received "dry socks and warm slippers."

         You must make sure you are writing full sentences! If the phrase you choose to quote is not a full sentence, add some of your own writing in front of it! When a sentence ends within a quote, make sure the punctuation is before the final quotation mark.

For clarity, fluidity: This means that she cares about other people's health and well-being.

For clarity, fluidity, grammar: Another reason Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful is that she feeds the kids and makes sure they aren't hungry.

          Make sure the point you are trying to make is very clear. You can do this by being specific about names/purpose.

For grammar: She feeds them at every mealtime and gives them little rules to follow.

       A good sentence, but singular nouns are (usually) followed by actions verbs that end in an "s". 

For grammar, clarity, structure: The text states, "All their rules were few and sensible."

      Once again, look at the quotation/punctuation placement. Also, the second part of your quote made no sense. Make sure you are copying it correctly! If you are sure the quote is correct, perhaps you should add some of your own writing before the quote. This would give it more clarity and context. 

For grammar, fluidity: Overall, you can tell by this that Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful and makes sure the kids eat as much as they need.

Fully Edited Summary: We know Mrs. Bhaer is a thoughtful person because she cares about others. An example of her thoughtfulness would be when Nat and two other boys were wet, and Mrs. Bhaer took off their wet clothes and gave them warm slippers and new clothes. The text states, the kids received "dry socks and warm slippers." This means that she cares about other people's health and well-being. Another reason Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful is that she feeds the kids and makes sure they aren't hungry. She feeds them at every mealtime and gives them little rules to follow. The text states, "All their rules were few and sensible." Overall, you can tell by this that Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful and makes sure the kids eat as much as they need.

Keep on working!

• Edited by Hailey

One reason why Ali Baba wanted to hide his findings is because people would hear and the thieves would set a trap to catch him. This would probably lead to death because he stole from them. The text states, fearful of being caught. this would mean that he is scared of the thieves and doesn't want to be caught. Another reason could be other people would keep on going because greed took over them. Then they would be killed because the thieves would notice the chunk of treasure they lost. The text states, he conceived a base envy at his brothers prosperity. This means Ali baba was right because greed took over his brother and was killed because he was caught by the thieves.

For clarity, fluidity: One reason why Ali Baba wanted to hide his findings is that people would hear about his fortune and thieves would set a trap to catch him.

For clarity: This would probably lead to his death because he stole from them.

For grammar, structure: The text states he was "fearful of being caught".

               Make sure your sentences are full sentences!

For grammar: This would mean that he is scared of the thieves and that he doesn't want to get caught.

For clarity, grammar: Another reason could be other people would continue the search for fortune because greed took over them.

                 Try to be as clear as possible!

For fluidity: The others would then be killed because the thieves would notice the chunk of treasure they lost.

For structure: The text states "He conceived a base envy at his brother's prosperity."

For clarity, grammar: This means Ali Baba was right because greed took over his brother who was later killed by the thieves who caught him.

Fully Edited Summary: One reason why Ali Baba wanted to hide his findings is that people would hear about his fortune and thieves would set a trap to catch him. This would probably lead to his death because he stole from them. The text states he was "fearful of being caught". This would mean that he is scared of the thieves and that he doesn't want to get caught. Another reason could be other people would continue the search for fortune because greed took over them. The others would then be killed because the thieves would notice the chunk of treasure they lost. The text states "He conceived a base envy at his brother's prosperity." This means Ali Baba was right because greed took over his brother who was later killed by the thieves who caught him.

As I have commented before, correct the structure/placement of your quotation marks.

• Edited by Hailey

I know the author is using personification because the flowers started talking which is a human trait. This means that the author used personification on the flowers. The text states, People say that I look exceedingly well, said the Flax. You can tell by this that the Flax is talking about himself. Another way I know the Author is using personification is because the Flax expresses the pain it went through to become a shirt then a rag and finally paper which was later burned. This means the Flax can feel pain like a human. The text states, It thought in the midst of its pain. By this you can tell that the Author has used personification to make the flower feel pain and talk.

For fluidity: I know the author is using personification because the flowers started talking, which is a human characteristic.

This means that the author used personification on the flowers.

         I'm not sure this sentence is necessary because you wrote this in the previous sentence!

For structure: The text states, "People say that I look exceedingly well, said the Flax."

        Take note of the placement of punctuation in relation to the quotation marks. 

For fluidity: From this, you can tell that the Flax is talking about himself.

For grammar: Another way I know the Author is using personification is because the Flax expresses the pain it went through to become a shirt, then a rag, and finally paper, which is later burned.

           Commas not only give the sentence more structure, but help the reader understand better!

For grammar: This means the Flax can feel pain, like a human.

             Great!

For structure: The text states, "It thought in the midst of its pain."

         Once again, look at the punctuation locations!

For fluidity: From this, you can tell that the Author has used personification to make the flower feel pain and talk.

Fully Edited Summary: I know the author is using personification because the flowers started talking, which is a human characteristic. This means that the author used personification on the flowers. The text states, "People say that I look exceedingly well, said the Flax." From this, you can tell that the Flax is talking about himself. Another way I know the Author is using personification is because the Flax expresses the pain it went through to become a shirt, then a rag, and finally paper, which is later burned. This means the Flax can feel pain, like a human. The text states, "It thought in the midst of its pain." From this, you can tell that the Author has used personification to make the flower feel pain and talk.

Great job!

• Edited by Hailey

The word company as used in the story means army or platoon. This means Tom joined the army to fight. The text states, Tom Somers felt that he was now a soldier indeed. This means that Tom has joined the company which is the military. Also what company also might mean is to be part of a sailing crew that fought battles for treasure. This would mean he was either a pirate or a crew that fought and took the ships goods. The text states, Is the company full, Captain Bensons. This would mean they raided other country ships for their good or were pirates seeking hidden treasure.

For structure, clarity: The word "company", as used in the story, means army or platoon.

This means Tom joined the army to fight.

For structure: The text states, "Tom Somers felt that he was now a soldier indeed."

               Make sure you are placing your quotation marks in the correct place!

For grammar: This means that Tom joined the company, which is the military.

For fluidity: Company might also mean to be part of a sailing crew that fought battles for treasure.

For grammar, fluidity: This interpretation means that Tom was either a pirate, or part of a crew that fought and stole a ship's goods.

The text states, "'Is the company full, Captain Bensons?'"

               This quote does not support your next conclusion. Make sure your quotes are relevant, and not just there for legitimacy!

For clarity, fluidity, grammar: This would mean the company raided other ships for their goods, or was pirates seeking treasure.

Fully Edited Summary: The word "company", as used in the story, means army or platoon. This means Tom joined the army to fight. The text states, "Tom Somers felt that he was now a soldier indeed." This means that Tom joined the company, which is the military. Company might also mean to be part of a sailing crew that fought battles for treasure. This interpretation means that Tom was either a pirate, or part of a crew that fought and stole a ship's goods. The text states, "'Is the company full, Captain Bensons?'" This would mean the company raided other ships for their goods, or was pirates seeking treasure.

Good job!

• Edited by Hailey

The first boy loves to make structures and make shapes out of clay. he wants to become a person that builds and shapes mold and clay like a carpenter. The text states,He turned and twisted it till it took shape. So, you would know he like to spend his time shaping things out of mostly clay. The second boy loved to paint meadows and flowers he found. He wanted to be a painter and in the future was a famous one in the City. The text states, People in the great city talked of the famous painter he was. So, he got his dream and became a well known Artis that many people talked about.

For fluidity: The first boy loves to make shapes and structures out of clay.

For clarity, grammar, fluidity: Like a carpenter, he wants to work building and shaping molds and clay.

For structure: The text states, "He turned and twisted it till it took shape."

For fluidity: So, he clearly enjoys spending his time shaping objects out of clay.

For fluidity: The second boy loved to paint the meadows and flowers he found.

For fluidity, clarity, grammar: He wants to be a painter and, in the future, a famous one in the city.

                    This would be in the present tense, because the desire to be a painter has not ended

For structure: The text states, "People in the great city talked of the famous painter he was."

For fluidity, clarity: So, he clearly achieved his dream and became a well-known artist.

Fully Edited Summary: The first boy loves to make shapes and structures out of clay. Like a carpenter, he wants to work building and shaping molds and clay. The text states, "He turned and twisted it till it took shape." So, he clearly enjoys spending his time shaping objects out of clay. The second boy loved to paint the meadows and flowers he found. He wants to be a painter and, in the future, a famous one in the city. The text states, "People in the great city talked of the famous painter he was." So, he clearly achieved his dream and became a well-known artist.

Nice work on this!

• Edited by Hailey

One way to help save the Earth is by reusing some items like plastic bottles. This can lessen the amount of garbage that goes into land fills that destroy new areas. The text sates, Think about if it can be recycled or repurposed. So, if you reuse things it can make less garbage go into land fills. Another way to save the Earth is by turn off things that you don't need. On bright days some people use lights even though it is not necessary. The text states, Does that lamp really need to be on while the sun is out?. So, the use of electricity on sunny days will make climate change because of the use of fossil fuel.

For clarity: One way to help save the Earth is by reusing or recycling some items, like plastic water bottles.

For fluidity, clarity: This would lessen the amount of garbage that goes into the landfills — garbage that destroys new, clean areas of land.

For spelling: The text states, "Think about if it can be recycled or repurposed."

For fluidity: So, if you reuse items you would typically throw away, less garbage will end up in landfills.

For fluidity, clarity: Another way to save the Earth is by turning off unnecessary lighting.

For grammar: On bright days, some people use lights, even though it is not necessary.

The text states, "Does that lamp really need to be on while the sun is out?"

For clarity, fluidity: So, the use of electricity on sunny days would increase the threat of climate change because of its use of fossil fuel.

Fully Edited Summary: One way to help save the Earth is by reusing or recycling some items, like plastic water bottles. This would lessen the amount of garbage that goes into the landfills — garbage that destroys new, clean areas of land. The text states, "Think about if it can be recycled or repurposed." So, if you reuse items you would typically throw away, less garbage will end up in landfills. Another way to save the Earth is by turning off unnecessary lighting. On bright days, some people use lights, even though it is not necessary. The text states, "Does that lamp really need to be on while the sun is out?" So, the use of electricity on sunny days would increase the threat of climate change because of its use of fossil fuel.

Good work on this!

• Edited by Hailey

One way that the story reported that Earth day was still being celebrated was people were able to submit Earth day songs so they can be listened on Radio from a group on multiple social media apps. They did this because the Coronavirus made a disruption on when Earth day was supposed to happen. The text states, Community members are encouraged to record them singing one of the 30 suggested songs, or a Earth day song of their choice. So, a large group found a way Earth day could be celebrated. Another way is people give online tutorials on how to save the planet. They give videos of recycling and to pick up trash or garbage from the sea or on the side walk. The text states, Some are hosting virtual events on how to recycle that kids and families can easily adapt to. So, some people host events to end global warming.

For fluidity, clarity, grammar: While indoors, Earth Day was still being celebrated by those who submitted "Earth Day songs" to a group present on multiple social media platforms, for the songs to potentially be heard on the radio.

For fluidity, clarity: This competition was instated because the coronavirus disrupted typical Earth Day outdoor festivities and celebrations.

For grammar: 'The text states, "Community members are encouraged to record themselves singing one of the 30 suggested songs, or an Earth Day song of their choice."

For fluidity, clarity: So, many people found an alternative way to celebrate Earth Day.

For fluidity: To celebrate, people also gave online tutorials on how to save the planet.

For fluidity, clarity, grammar:They gave videos of themselves recycling or picking up garbage by the sea or on the sidewalk.

The text states, "Some are hosting virtual events on how to recycle that kids and families can easily adapt to."

                          For a full sentence quote, the punctuation goes before the last quotation mark.

For clarity: So, some people hosted events to help end global warming.

Fully Edited Summary: While indoors, Earth Day was still being celebrated by those who submitted "Earth Day songs" to a group present on multiple social media platforms, for the songs to potentially be heard on the radio. This competition was instated because the coronavirus disrupted typical Earth Day outdoor festivities and celebrations. The text states, "Community members are encouraged to record themselves singing one of the 30 suggested songs, or an Earth Day song of their choice." So, many people found an alternative way to celebrate Earth Day. To celebrate, people also gave online tutorials on how to save the planet. They gave videos of themselves recycling or picking up garbage by the sea or on the sidewalk. The text states, "Some are hosting virtual events on how to recycle that kids and families can easily adapt to." So, some people hosted events to help end global warming.

Make sure your sentences are clear and concise!

• Edited by Hailey

One accomplishment William made was he helped many kids not starve anymore. This action made others help him too and they raised money. The text states, Still help food drive kids drives successful. So, William helped the kids by doing food drives. Another accomplishment he made was being named prudential spirit of community honoree. This was what he was recognized as because of his act of trying to end childhood hunger. The text states, Recognized as the Prudential spirit of community honoree. So, because of Williams act of trying to stop child hunger he got a nickname or title.

For fluidity: One accomplishment William had was that he helped many children avoid starvation.

For fluidity, clarity: This action motivated others to help him as well, and together, they raised money.

For clarity: The text states that William helped the kids by doing food drives.

                    Your quote did not make sense. Please double check that you are translating correctly. 

For grammar: Another accomplishment he made was being named Prudential Spirit of Community Honoree.

                    Capitalize proper nouns!

For fluidity: He was recognized as this because of his actions to end childhood hunger.

                  Do not choose quotes that are repetitive. 

Fully Edited Summary: One accomplishment William had was that he helped many children avoid starvation. This action motivated others to help him as well, and together, they raised money. The text states that William helped the kids by doing food drives. Another accomplishment he made was being named Prudential Spirit of Community Honoree. He was recognized as this because of his actions to end childhood hunger.

Try and development your argument by choosing quotes that support the main idea, not ones that create a main idea.

• Edited by Hailey

One new event that happened in the article is a new Virus was discovered named the Coronavirus. This new event happened while School was in process so it caused a disruption. The text states, The Coronavirus pandemic forced them to rethink the in-person spring Graduation ceremony. So, a new event that happened was the new novel Coronavirus. Another new event that happened was that all the schools shut down because the Coronavirus was Airborne. This mad a huge impact on the schooling system and the graduation. The text states, Lot of students that would like to attend the graduation ceremony but wouldn't be able to do so because of the coronavirus concern. So, a new event that happened now is the shutdown of schools.

For grammar, fluidity: One new event is that a new virus was discovered, named the coronavirus.

For fluidity: This occurred while school was still occurring, so the virus caused a disruption.

The text states, "The Coronavirus pandemic forced them to rethink the in-person spring Graduation ceremony."

So, the presence of this virus is very problematic.

                    Make sure your sentences express a new, clear idea! Don't repeat what you have already said!

For fluidity: Another event occurred because of the airborne coronavirus; all of the schools shut down.

For grammar: This made a huge impact on schooling systems and graduations.

The text states, "Lots of students that would like to attend their graduation ceremony but wouldn't be able to do so, because of the coronavirus concern."

For fluidity: The shutdown of schools in an unprecedented new event.

Fully Edited Summary: One new event is that a new virus was discovered, named the coronavirus. This occurred while school was still occurring, so the virus caused a disruption. The text states, "The Coronavirus pandemic forced them to rethink the in-person spring Graduation ceremony." So, the presence of this virus is very problematic. Another event occurred because of the airborne coronavirus; all of the schools shut down. This made a huge impact on schooling systems and graduations. The text states, "Lots of students that would like to attend their graduation ceremony but wouldn't be able to do so, because of the coronavirus concern." The shutdown of schools in an unprecedented new event.

• Edited by Hailey

One requirement to becoming a Astronaut is to have a master degree in STEM. You need a master degree in STEM because you need many skills to be able to finish tasks given to you. The text states, Now requires a master degree in STEM. So, in order to become a astronaut you need to have a master degree. Another requirement to become a Astronaut is to be able to work with others. You need this because you will often have to work with other people to gather new information. The text states, They must be good with working with other people. So, you need to have teamwork to become a Astronauts.

For grammar, clarity: One requirement to become an astronaut is to have a master's degree in a STEM field.

                         Remember that an "a" preceding a noun that begins with a vowel becomes "an".

For clarity: You need a STEM master's degree because you need many skills to be able to finish the tasks assigned to you.

For structure: The text states that NASA programs "now requires a master's degree in STEM."

                     Make sure that unless you quote a full sentence, you write a prelude to the quote. This way, the quote makes sense in its place.

For grammar: So, in order to become an astronaut, you need to have a master's degree.

For fluidity, grammar: Another requirement to become an astronaut is the ability to work with others.

You need this because you will often have to work with other people to gather new information.

The text states "They must be good working with other people."

                      In a full sentence quote, the quotation mark goes after the punctuation mark.

So, you need to have teamwork to become astronauts.

Fully Edited Summary: One requirement to become an astronaut is to have a master's degree in a STEM field. You need a STEM master's degree because you need many skills to be able to finish the tasks assigned to you. The text states that NASA programs "now requires a master's degree in STEM." So, in order to become an astronaut, you need to have a master's degree. Another requirement to become an astronaut is the ability to work with others. You need this because you will often have to work with other people to gather new information. The text states "They must be good working with other people. So, you need to have teamwork to become astronauts.

Good work!

• Edited by Hailey

The two opposing views is Blasio thinks that the school will be closed until the next school year while Cuomo thinks that school will open in April 29. In Blasio view he thinks that school will start next year because the Coronavirus can be easily spread. The text states, New York City's will not reopen this academic year. So, Blasio thinks that this year there will be no school. In Cuomo's view he thinks that the school will reopen in April 29. He says this because the pandemic can change its route. The text states, Depends on the course of the Pandemic. So, Cuomo thinks the course of the Novel can change and allow schools to start again.

For fluidity: The two opposing views are Mayor de Blasio thinking that schools will be closed until the next school year, while Gov. Cuomo thinking that schools will open on April 29.

                       Make sure that your names are correct, and with their proper titles!

For clarity, grammar: According to de Blasio, he thinks that schools should start next year because the coronavirus can be easily spread.

For clarity: The text states, "New York City's schools will not reopen this academic year."

For clarity: So, de Blasio thinks that there will be no more school for the rest of this year.

For grammar: In Cuomo's view, he thinks that the schools will reopen on April 29.

For fluidity, clarity: He believes this because the pandemic could still change its "route".

The text states, "Depends on the course of the Pandemic."

For fluidity, clarity: So, Cuomo thinks the course of the virus can change, and therefore allow schools to reopen.

Fully Edited Summary: The two opposing views are Mayor de Blasio thinking that schools will be closed until the next school year, while Gov. Cuomo thinking that schools will open on April 29. According to de Blasio, he thinks that schools should start next year because the coronavirus can be easily spread. The text states, "New York City's schools will not reopen this academic year." So, de Blasio thinks that there will be no more school for the rest of this year. In Cuomo's view, he thinks that the schools will reopen on April 29. He believes this because the pandemic could still change its "route". The text states, "Depends on the course of the Pandemic." So, Cuomo thinks the course of the virus can change, and therefore allow schools to reopen.

Nice work!

• Edited by Hailey

One reason why Tiger salamanders are reappearing is because of reproduction. Since the species almost died out some survived and made new more salamanders. The text states, Checked sites where egg masses flourished. So, the reason why they are coming back is because they are laying eggs to create more of its species. Another reason on why Tiger salamanders are reappearing is because they hid away from humans. Since they mostly live under ground they are very hard to spot and they hunt at night. The text states, Dig underground burrows in loose, sandy soil, where they spend most of their lives. So. Tiger salamanders could have been hiding underground where they are hard to spot.

For clarity: One reason why Tiger Salamanders are reappearing is because of their reproduction.

For fluidity, clarity: While the species almost went extinct, some survived and repopulated the area they formerly inhabited.

The text states, humans "checked sites where egg masses flourished."

                        With the structure of this sentence, it would be best if your quote was a full sentence, for clarity purposes.

For fluidity: So, the reason why the salamander population is growing is because they are laying eggs to create more of the species.

For grammar: Another reason why Tiger Salamanders are reappearing is because they hide away from humans.

For grammar, clarity: Since they mostly live underground, they are very hard to spot. They also hunt at night.

For structure, grammar, clarity:As the text states, they "dig underground burrows in loose, sandy soil, where they spend most of their lives."

                        See previous comment about quotes. Also, if a sentence ends within the quotation, the punctuation is within the quotation mark as well.

For grammar: So, Tiger Salamanders could have been hiding underground, where they are hard to spot."

Fully Edited Summary: One reason why Tiger Salamanders are reappearing is because of their reproduction. While the species almost went extinct, some survived and repopulated the area they formerly inhabited. The text states, humans "checked sites where egg masses flourished." So, the reason why the salamander population is growing is because they are laying eggs to create more of the species. Another reason why Tiger Salamanders are reappearing is because they hide away from humans. Since they mostly live underground, they are very hard to spot. They also hunt at night. As the text states, they "dig underground burrows in loose, sandy soil, where they spend most of their lives." So, Tiger Salamanders could have been hiding underground, where they are hard to spot.

Nice work, but remember to capitalize proper nouns!

• Edited by Hailey

The difference between a regular moon and a super moon is a super moon is 7% bigger than a regular moon. This is because sattilites that have an oval orbit make the moon come closer and further. The text states, The distance between the Moon and Earth varies because of the sattilites oval Orbit. So, the reason a super moon looks bigger is because it moves closer to Earth because of the oval orbit of satellites. Another reason why the super moon is different than a regular moon is because it is 15% brighter. This occurs because the moon meets with the Lunar perigee which causes the moon to shine brighter. The text states, Occurs when the full moon concides with the lunar perigee. So, the moon shines brighter because it coincides with the Lunar perigee.

For clarity: The difference between a regular moon and a super moon is that a super moon is 7% bigger than a regular moon.

                 Nice! I just added a "that" so the sentence makes a little more sense.

For spelling, clarity: This is because the satellites that have an oval orbit make then moon come closer and further than a circular orbit would.

                   If you use a superlative, such as "closer" and "further", make sure the reader knows what you are comparing to!

For spelling, grammar: The text states, "The distance between the Moon and Earth varies because of the satellite's oval orbit."

So, the reason a super moon looks bigger is because it moves closer to Earth because of the oval orbit of satellites.

                 Good!

Another reason why the super moon is different than a regular moon is because it is 15% brighter.

This occurs because the moon "meets with the Lunar perigee", which causes the moon to shine brighter.

                Double check your quotes!

For spelling: The text states, "Occurs when the full moon coincides with the lunar perigee.

So, the moon shines brighter because it coincides with the Lunar perigee.

Fully Edited Summary: The difference between a regular moon and a super moon is that a super moon is 7% bigger than a regular moon. This is because the satellites that have an oval orbit make then moon come closer and further than a circular orbit would. The text states, "The distance between the Moon and Earth varies because of the satellite's oval orbit." So, the reason a super moon looks bigger is because it moves closer to Earth because of the oval orbit of satellites. Another reason why the super moon is different than a regular moon is because it is 15% brighter. This occurs because the moon "meets with the Lunar perigee", which causes the moon to shine brighter. The text states, "Occurs when the full moon coincides with the lunar perigee." So, the moon shines brighter because it coincides with the Lunar perigee.

Good work on this. Keep an eye on your spelling, though!

• Edited by Hailey

The bad thing about social distancing is that you have keep away away from others. This is bad because you can't do things you do when you meet a friend. The text states, It is difficult to keep away from others in some situations. So, practicing social distancing can be hard because you might wanna hug your friend that doesn't know she or he has the virus. The good thing about social distancing is you have less of a chance of getting the virus from other people around you. If don't keep your distance then you can end up spreading the virus. The text states, people can spread the virus through droplets from coughs and sneezes, Social distancing limits the chances of that. So, Social distancing can keep you safe and others from harm done to people around you and yourself.

For grammar: The bad thing about social distancing is that you have to keep away from others.

For fluidity: Therefore, you can't do the things you might do when you meet a friend.

The text states, "It is difficult to keep away from others in some situations."

For grammar: So, practicing social distancing can be hard because you might want to hug your friend that doesn't know if she or he has the virus.

                       "wanna" is not a word!

For fluidity: "An advantage of social distancing is that you have less of a chance of getting the virus from other people around you."

For grammar: If you don't keep your distance, then you can end up spreading the virus.

For structure: The text states, "People can spread the virus through droplets from coughs and sneezes. Social distancing limits the chances of that."

For fluidity: So, social distancing can keep you safe and others from harm.

                 You do not always need extra words! Good ending, though. 

Fully Edited Summary: The bad thing about social distancing is that you have to keep away from others. Therefore, you can't do the things you might do when you meet a friend. The text states, "It is difficult to keep away from others in some situations." So, practicing social distancing can be hard because you might want to hug your friend that doesn't know if she or he has the virus. An advantage of social distancing is that you have less of a chance of getting the virus from other people around you. If you don't keep your distance, then you can end up spreading the virus. The text states, "People can spread the virus through droplets from coughs and sneezes. Social distancing limits the chances of that." So, social distancing can keep you safe and others from harm.

Good job! You should do one final read-through before uploading your summary, however. I think you will find and correct some "silly" mistakes!

• Edited by Hailey

How J.K Rowling thinks that her new webpage is that she feels it can educate people. Also, she thinks this because you can be able to then run a business successfully. The text states, Number of resources related to international franchise.So, this is why she thinks this webpage is educational. Another reason on why she thinks that her webpage is helpful is because it can entertain many fans. She thinks this because many people now go online so they don't get bored. The text states, Hogwarts has been an escape for all, for readers and fans from young to old. So, this mean Rowling does this to entertain people.

For fluidity: J.K. Rowling feels that her new webpage can educate people.

For fluidity: She believes this because she has been able to run a successful business based off her books.

For structure, clarity: The text states, a "number of resources related to international franchise" are present on the website.

So, this is why she thinks this webpage is educational.

                    Good!

For fluidity: Another reason why she thinks her webpage is helpful is because it can entertain many fans.

She thinks this because many people now go online so they don't get bored.

                  Good reasoning!

For structure: The text states, Hogwarts has been an escape for all, for readers and fans from young to old."

                     If you are quoting a complete sentence, the punctuation goes before the last quotation mark.

For fluidity: So, this means Rowling created this franchise and website to entertain people.

                 Make sure your sentences are very clear, so the reader knows what you are talking about!

Fully Edited Summary: J.K. Rowling feels that her new webpage can educate people. She believes this because she has been able to run a successful business based off her books. The text states, a "number of resources related to international franchise" are present on the website. So, this is why she thinks this webpage is educational. Another reason why she thinks her webpage is helpful is because it can entertain many fans. She thinks this because many people now go online so they don't get bored. The text states, Hogwarts has been an escape for all, for readers and fans from young to old." So, this means Rowling created this franchise and website to entertain people.

• Edited by Hailey

One fun sounding game is indoor basket ball. I picked this because you can be competitive and it can help you have better aim. The text states, Enlist siblings for games like knockout out or horse. So, I think this game is fun because it is a competitive game and help your aim. Another game that sounds fun is snowball fights. I picked this because you run around and be laughing. Also, because it can get some of your energy out of you. This can help you get exercise an have fun with your family. The text states, An indoor snowball fight is a fun way to burn off some energy as a family. So, this indoor fight can burn some energy and you have fun with family members.

For fluidity: One game that sounds fun is indoor basketball. I picked this game because you can be competitive. It can also help you have better aim.

The text states, Enlist siblings for games like knockout out or horse.

                 Good quote!

For purpose: So, I think this game is fun because it is a competitive game and helps you practice your aim.

For clarity: Another game that sounds fun would be a snowball fight.

For grammar: I picked this game because you can run around while laughing.

For fluidity: Also, the game can get some of your energy out of you.

                  Good sentence and idea, you just need to have the subject of the sentence (which I added)

For fluidity, grammar: This game also gets you to exercise and have fun with your family.

The text states, An indoor snowball fight is a fun way to burn off some energy as a family.

                  Nice!

For fluidity: So, this indoor fight can burn some energy. In the meantime, you will have fun with family members.

Fully Edited Summary: One game that sounds fun is indoor basketball. I picked this game because you can be competitive. It can also help you have better aim. The text states, Enlist siblings for games like knockout out or horse. So, I think this game is fun because it is a competitive game and helps you practice your aim. Another game that sounds fun would be a snowball fight. I picked this game because you can run around while laughing. Also, the game can get some of your energy out of you. This game also gets you to exercise and have fun with your family. The text states, An indoor snowball fight is a fun way to burn off some energy as a family. So, this indoor fight can burn some energy. In the meantime, you will have fun with family members.

Make sure that your sentences are not repetitive! Sometimes you repeat information/ideas that you had already similarly stated.

• Edited by Hailey

There are many ways for a student to learn best online. One of these ways is to clear all distractions so you can focus and make your goals for the day and try to achieve it. The text states, Setting a clear goal can help you stay motivated and beat procrastination. So, if you make a goal to try to reach each day then you can try your best and have a motivation to keep on going and put in all your effort. Another way to learn the best you can is by making a schedule and follow it so you can make time to do what you were supposed to do. Also , you can go to a area where you first learned the certain lesson because it help you with memory. The text states, its easier to recall information if your in the same place where you first learned it, Time and schedules are important for many things and studying well need time and schedules. So, if you make time for work and go to certain places you can help yourself and make yourself better and organized.

For fluidity: There are many ways for a student to learn successfully online.

For fluidity, grammar: One of these ways is to clear your environment of all distractions, so you can focus, create goals, and achieve them.

The text states, Setting a clear goal can help you stay motivated and beat procrastination.

             Good!

For fluidity: So, if you make a goal and try to reach it each day, then you will be able to have the motivation to try your best, keep on going, and put in all your effort.

For fluidity: Another way to learn to the best of your ability is to make a schedule and follow it, so you can make the time to do all the things you were supposed to do.

For grammar: Also, you can go to an area where you first learned the certain lesson because it help you with memory.

            Good point!

For grammar: The text states, "It's easier to recall information if you're in the same place where you first learned it. Time and schedules are important for many things and studying well needs time and schedules.'

For fluidity: So, if you make time for work and create positive learning environments, you can help yourself become more organized.

Fully Edited Summary: There are many ways for a student to learn successfully online. One of these ways is to clear your environment of all distractions, so you can focus, create goals, and achieve them. The text states,Setting a clear goal can help you stay motivated and beat procrastination. So, if you make a goal and try to reach it each day, then you will be able to have the motivation to try your best, keep on going, and put in all your effort. Another way to learn to the best of your ability is to make a schedule and follow it, so you can make the time to do all the things you were supposed to do. Also, you can go to an area where you first learned the certain lesson because it help you with memory. The text states, "It's easier to recall information if you're in the same place where you first learned it. Time and schedules are important for many things and studying well needs time and schedules. So, if you make time for work and create positive learning environments, you can help yourself become more organized.

Great work on this!

• Edited by Hailey

There are many ways to prevent infections from the Corona virus. One of these ways is to wash your hands with soap and water. The text states, Students and staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. So, it would be good to wash your hands because you kill the bacteria that is on your skin. Another way to prevent infection of the corona virus is to sanitize your hands and sneeze in a tissue or elbow joint. The text states, Every class are relying on Alcohol-based Hand sanitizer, Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the Crook of your elbow can help reduce the spread of the airborne virus droplets. So, if you sneeze into your elbow or tissue you can reduce the spread fo the corona virus if you don't know if you have it.

For spelling: There are many ways to prevent infections from the coronavirus.

One of these ways is to wash your hands with soap and water. The text states, Students and staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. So, it would be good to wash your hands because you kill the bacteria that is on your skin.

      Good work!

For spelling: Another way to prevent infection of the coronavirus is to sanitize your hands and sneeze into a tissue or elbow crook.

For capitalization: 'The text states, "Every class are relying on alcohol-based hand sanitizer, coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of your elbow can help reduce the spread of the airborne virus droplets.

For spelling, grammar: So, if you sneeze into your elbow or tissue, you can reduce the spread of the coronavirus, even if you don't know if you have it.

Fully Edited Summary: There are many ways to prevent infections from the coronavirus. One of these ways is to wash your hands with soap and water. The text states, Students and staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds. So, it would be good to wash your hands because you kill the bacteria that is on your skin. Another way to prevent infection of the coronavirus is to sanitize your hands and sneeze into a tissue or elbow crook. The text states, "Every class are relying on alcohol-based hand sanitizer, coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of your elbow can help reduce the spread of the airborne virus droplets. So, if you sneeze into your elbow or tissue, you can reduce the spread of the coronavirus, even if you don't know if you have it.

Nice work!

• Edited by Hailey