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| − | The Burdock tree was the most kind in the story. The burdock tree was the most kind because it gave the most shelter for the great white snails. According to the text," people get to have much food when they eat great white snails."This shows that the Burdock tree was the most kind in th story, The Happy Family. | + | A beautiful swans feather shown as gold made the great merchant very lucky. The beautiful swans feather made the great merchant lucky because the feather fell in the mans forehead and soon he got very lucky by getting luck, being rich, and getting gold. According to the text," The feather of the bird of fortune touched the great merchants forehead and a pen came to his hand and brought such good luck." This shows how the great merchant got very lucky and got such good luck. |
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| − | The Burdock tree was the most kind in the story.
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| − | ***Edited for vocabulary: The Burdock tree was the kindest in the story.
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| − | ***Replace "most kind" with "kindest."
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| − | <br>The burdock tree was the most kind because it gave the most shelter for the great white snails.
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| − | ***Edited for capitalization and vocabulary and comma: The Burdock tree was the kindest because it gave the most shelter for the great white snails.
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| − | ***Capitalize "Burdock." Replace "most kind" with "kindest."
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| − | <br>According to the text," people get to have much food when they eat great white snails."
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| − | ***Edited for spacing, capitalization: According to the text, "People get to have much food when they eat great white snails."
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| − | ***Correct the spacing around the quotation mark. Capitalize the first word of the quote.
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| − | <br>This shows that the Burdock tree was the most kind in th story, The Happy Family.
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| − | ***Edited for vocabulary, spelling, comma, and italics: This shows that the Burdock tree was the kindest in the story ''The Happy Family''.
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| − | ***Replace "most kind" with "kindest." Misspelled "the." You don't need a comma after "story." Italicize book titles.
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| − | '''Final Edited Version:
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| − | The Burdock tree was the kindest in the story. The Burdock tree was the kindest because it gave the most shelter for the great white snails. According to the text, "People get to have much food when they eat great white snails." This shows that the Burdock tree was the kindest in the story ''The Happy Family''.
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| − | ***Overall, good job. Please work on your quotation mark spacing and capitalization.
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| − | Edited by Ashley Leung
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Revision as of 21:09, 5 May 2020
Pala's Writing Page
A beautiful swans feather shown as gold made the great merchant very lucky. The beautiful swans feather made the great merchant lucky because the feather fell in the mans forehead and soon he got very lucky by getting luck, being rich, and getting gold. According to the text," The feather of the bird of fortune touched the great merchants forehead and a pen came to his hand and brought such good luck." This shows how the great merchant got very lucky and got such good luck.
