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| − | This is one accomplishment that Williams achieved. One of the accomplishment that Williams achieved is end childhood hunger. According to the text," Williams has set up 2 little food pantries and were cleaned each Friday." This shows one accomplishment that Williams has achieved.
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| − | | + | One of the articles reports that Earth Day will be celebrated are that Earth Day is a very important day. This a day to take care of plant do recycling and have fun. According to the text," the NASA is celebrating the momentous day with an exclusive Earth Day 50th Anniversary Toolkit of games and fun activities." This shows one of the articles reports that Earth Day will be celebrated. |
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| − | This is one accomplishment that Williams achieved. One of the accomplishment that Williams achieved is end childhood hunger.
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| − | ***Edited for fluidity and accuracy: One accomplishment that Williams achieved is helping end child hunger.
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| − | ***Child hunger has not ended, so you can only write that he has HELPED end child hunger. Since the first sentence is repetitive, you can combine the two sentences. "Childhood" → "child."
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| − | <br>According to the text," Williams has set up 2 little food pantries and were cleaned each Friday."
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| − | ***Edited for spacing: According to the text, "Williams has set up 2 little food pantries and were cleaned each Friday."
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| − | ***Add space between the comma and the quotation mark. Delete space between quotation mark and "Williams."
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| − | <br>This shows one accomplishment that Williams has achieved.
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| − | ***Good.
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| − | '''Final Edited Version:
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| − | One accomplishment that Williams achieved is helping end child hunger. According to the text, "Williams has set up 2 little food pantries and were cleaned each Friday." This shows one accomplishment that Williams has achieved.
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| − | ***Please work on punctuation (spacing), and try to write a few more sentences next time.
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Revision as of 17:14, 21 April 2020
Pala's Writing Page
One of the articles reports that Earth Day will be celebrated are that Earth Day is a very important day. This a day to take care of plant do recycling and have fun. According to the text," the NASA is celebrating the momentous day with an exclusive Earth Day 50th Anniversary Toolkit of games and fun activities." This shows one of the articles reports that Earth Day will be celebrated.
