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| − | Tiger salamanders are reappearing in Maryland because female Tiger salamanders need fishless freshwater ponds that have a lot of sun light for there eggs. I know this because in the text it states“female Tiger salamanders need fishless freshwater ponds that have a lot of sunlight for their eggs. Too shallow, they dry out; too deep, and sun won’t get to the egg masses.” Another reason Tiger salamanders came back to Maryland is because in the text it also states” several seasonal wetland areas on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, where extensive vegetation management over the past decade helped restore natural breeding habitats of these salamanders”. This is why the Tiger salamanders came back to Maryland.
| + | The Requirements of becoming an astronaut is That NASA wants you to have a masters degree in college and you need to Have experience flying Jet airplanes. I know this because in the text it states” now it requires a master’s degree and you need experience of flying jet plane”. Another requirement to become an astronaut is you need to have keen eyesight which is very important because if you don’t have a keen eyesight you then you can’t report what you see in space so People won’t get the knowledge to become a better astronaut. I know this because in the text it also states that you need near perfect eyesight and a very good fit body. These are the new requirements to becoming an |
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| − | Tiger salamanders are reappearing in Maryland because female Tiger salamanders need fishless freshwater ponds that have a lot of sun light for there eggs. I know this because in the text it states“female Tiger salamanders need fishless freshwater ponds that have a lot of sunlight for their eggs. Too shallow, they dry out; too deep, and sun won’t get to the egg masses.”
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| − | ***Edited for quotation and spelling: Tiger salamanders are reappearing in Maryland because "female Tiger salamanders need fishless freshwater ponds that have a lot of sunlight for their eggs."
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| − | ***I noticed that you directly copied this sentence word for word from the quote... '''Please use your own words when writing your sentences'''. Therefore, I deleted the copied part in the first sentence and directly followed with the quote. Also, make sure there is a space between the quotation mark and the word before it (because "..."). Even though you copied from the text, you spelled "sun light" (sunlight) and "there" (their) incorrectly.
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| − | <br>Another reason Tiger salamanders came back to Maryland is because in the text it also states” several seasonal wetland areas on Maryland’s Eastern Shore, where extensive vegetation management over the past decade helped restore natural breeding habitats of these salamanders”.
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| − | ***Edited for quotation and punctuation (period placement) and vocabulary: Another reason Tiger salamanders reappeared in Maryland is that "several seasonal wetland areas on Maryland's Eastern Shore, where extensive vegetation management over the past decade helped restore natural breeding habitats of these salamanders."
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| − | ***Again, you used the quote to explain your reason → this is not a good writing method. '''Please use your own words.''' Switch "came back" to "reappear." When you mention "reason," you don't need to follow with a "because" (it becomes redundant) → just say "another reason is THAT..." Periods go inside the quotation mark at the end.
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| − | <br>This is why the Tiger salamanders came back to Maryland.
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| − | ***Edited for vocabulary and article use: This is why Tiger salamanders reappeared in Maryland.
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| − | ***No need for "the" before "Tiger salamanders" because this is a proper noun. Again, "reappear" is a better word than "came back." Sounds more academic.
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| − | '''Final Edited Version:'''
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| − | Tiger salamanders are reappearing in Maryland because "female Tiger salamanders need fishless freshwater ponds that have a lot of sunlight for their eggs." Another reason Tiger salamanders reappeared in Maryland is that "several seasonal wetland areas on Maryland's Eastern Shore, where extensive vegetation management over the past decade helped restore natural breeding habitats of these salamanders." This is why Tiger salamanders reappeared in Maryland.
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| − | ***Do you notice that more than 75% of your paragraph is quotation? Please use your own words to explain (this doesn't mean switching a few words from the text). If you only quote from the text, it doesn't show me that you understand what you're talking about. Also, make sure you know the difference between "their" and "there," and work on your punctuation marks.
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| − | Edited by Ashley Leung
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The Requirements of becoming an astronaut is That NASA wants you to have a masters degree in college and you need to Have experience flying Jet airplanes. I know this because in the text it states” now it requires a master’s degree and you need experience of flying jet plane”. Another requirement to become an astronaut is you need to have keen eyesight which is very important because if you don’t have a keen eyesight you then you can’t report what you see in space so People won’t get the knowledge to become a better astronaut. I know this because in the text it also states that you need near perfect eyesight and a very good fit body. These are the new requirements to becoming an
astronaut.
