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| | Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here: | | Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here: |
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| − | Saving Harmed Koalas In Australia
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| − | The Australian bush fires killed and harmed many animals especially koalas they were burnt and then after were starving, so scientists are going to the forest to save these koalas. Koalas that survived the bush fires in Australia are now dying from the harsh conditions such as, starvation, dehydration, smoke inhalation, and so many other conditions that have to survive through. Over the past time the rescue team found koalas crushed under trees that were on fire. The koalas with burnt paws after going down to the festered ground after the fire had passed, hoping to change trees and find food. One of the many recent rescues was an orphaned, scrawny koala with all of its four paws burnt. The koalas are keep dying because of the conditions in the forest like infections because of the burns and the smoke and them inhaling that smoke and others can't find food. So these koalas need help immediately because of the conditions their going through in the forest.
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| − | Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/koalas-dying-after-bushfires/
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| − | Saving Harmed Koalas In Australia
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| − | <br> - Edited for syntax; Saving Koalas Harmed in Australia
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| − | The Australian bush fires killed and harmed many animals especially koalas they were burnt and then after were starving, so scientists are going to the forest to save these koalas.
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| − | <br> - Edited for grammar, word choice, and syntax (remember bushfires is one word); The Australian bushfires killed and harmed many animals, especially burnt and starving koalas, so scientists are going to the forest to save them.
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| − | Koalas that survived the bush fires in Australia are now dying from the harsh conditions such as, starvation, dehydration, smoke inhalation, and so many other conditions that have to survive through.
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| − | <br> - Edited for grammar and word choice; Koalas that survived the bushfires are now dying from harsh conditions such as starvation, dehydration, smoke inhalation, and others.
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| − | Over the past time the rescue team found koalas crushed under trees that were on fire. The koalas with burnt paws after going down to the festered ground after the fire had passed, hoping to change trees and find food.
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| − | <br> - I am combining these two sentences to adhere to the six sentence structure.
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| − | <br> - Edited for word choice and syntax (word choice seems a bit too close to the original); The rescue even team found koalas crushed under trees that were on fire, and koalas with burnt paws from climbing down to the ground in order to find food and a new tree.
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| − | One of the many recent rescues was an orphaned, scrawny koala with all four of its paws burnt.
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| − | <br> - Edited for grammar, otherwise great job; One of the many recent rescues was an orphaned, scrawny koala with all four paws burnt.
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| − | The koalas are keep dying because of the conditions in the forest like infections because of the burns and the smoke and them inhaling that smoke and others can’t find food.
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| − | <br> - I am omitting some of this sentence because these are facts that you had already mentioned.
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| − | <br> - Edited for grammar and word choice; The koalas keep dying because of terrible conditions in the forest, as well as infections from the burns.
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| − | So these koalas need help immediately because of the conditions their going through in the forest.
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| − | <br> - Edited for grammar and word choice; These koalas need help immediately due to the conditions they’re enduring in the wake of the bushfires.
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| − | I think that overall, the main thing to work on is the order of the words in your sentences. Something that would help with this is reading your paragraph out loud to see if it flows naturally. Good job!
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| − | Fully Edited Version:
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| − | Saving Koalas Harmed in Australia
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| − | The Australian bushfires killed and harmed many animals, especially burnt and starving koalas, so scientists are going into the forest to save them. Koalas that survived the bushfires are now dying from harsh conditions such as starvation, dehydration, smoke inhalation, and others. The rescue team even found koalas crushed under trees that were on fire, and koalas with burnt paws from climbing down to the ground in order to find food and a new tree. One of the many recent rescues was an orphaned, scrawny koala with all four paws burnt. The koalas keep dying because of terrible conditions in the forest, as well as infections from the burns. These koalas need help immediately due to the conditions they’re enduring in the wake of the bushfires.
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| − | Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/animals/koalas-dying-after-bushfires/
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| − | Edited by Grace Drake
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This is the Practice page for you to make sure you know how to make sure your edits save and how to format certain sentences.
Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here:
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