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<br>Also she announced relaxing copyright permissions around the "Harry Potter" series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading aloud from the books for their students. | <br>Also she announced relaxing copyright permissions around the "Harry Potter" series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading aloud from the books for their students. | ||
***Edited for fluidity, title format, and vocabulary: She also relaxed copyright permissions around the ''Harry Potter'' series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading the books aloud to their students. | ***Edited for fluidity, title format, and vocabulary: She also relaxed copyright permissions around the ''Harry Potter'' series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading the books aloud to their students. | ||
| − | ***Whenever you use "also" | + | ***Whenever you use "also" at the beginning of a sentence, make sure to add a comma to it. It would sound smoother if you say "she also..." You don't have to mention that she announced it, just directly write that she relaxed the permissions. Once again, the novel series should be written with italics. It would be more accurate to write "aloud to their students" rather than "for their students" since you read a book ''to'' someone, not for them. |
Revision as of 23:00, 3 April 2020
Meku's Writing Page
JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series. This means that JK Rowling has let her book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" be added to Audible's library of free books. Also she announced relaxing copyright permissions around the "Harry Potter" series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading aloud from the books for their students.
JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series.
- Edited for spelling: J.K. Rowling
- Other than the spelling (the correct way to spell her name is J.K. Rowling), the rest of the sentence is well written!
This means that JK Rowling has let her book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" be added to Audible's library of free books.
- Edited for spelling, title format, and fluidity: She added her book Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone to Audible's library of free books.
- You don't need "this means that" because it's already clear. Try to write in an active voice, so just directly write "she added her book..." Also, books should be written either italicized or underlined (not in quotes-- that's only for poems, articles, etc...).
Also she announced relaxing copyright permissions around the "Harry Potter" series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading aloud from the books for their students.
- Edited for fluidity, title format, and vocabulary: She also relaxed copyright permissions around the Harry Potter series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading the books aloud to their students.
- Whenever you use "also" at the beginning of a sentence, make sure to add a comma to it. It would sound smoother if you say "she also..." You don't have to mention that she announced it, just directly write that she relaxed the permissions. Once again, the novel series should be written with italics. It would be more accurate to write "aloud to their students" rather than "for their students" since you read a book to someone, not for them.
Final Edited Version:
J.K. Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series. She added her book Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone to Audible's library of free books. She also relaxed copyright permissions around the Harry Potter series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading the books aloud to their students.
- Please work on writing more concisely and in an active voice. Also make sure to include a concluding sentence next time. Overall, well written. Good job!
Edited by Ashley Leung