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| − | The 2020 Summer Olympic Games will be postponed in Tokyo, Japan. It will be postponed because to safeguard the athletes and game watchers from the pandemic outbreak of novel coronavirus (COVID-19). According to the text" Japan's prime minster, Shinzo Abe made a decision to safeguard everyone, even the international community (IOC). This shows why the 2020 Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan will be postponed.
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| − | | + | JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children. She thinks this could work because she will let teachers post videos of themselves reading aloud from the book of there students. According to the text''JK Rowling also posted a website for fans, young and old so they can read it too. This shows how JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children. |
| − | <br> The 2020 Summer Olympic Games will be postponed in Tokyo, Japan.
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| − | ***Good!
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| − | <br>It will be postponed because to safeguard the athletes and game watchers from the pandemic outbreak of novel coronavirus (COVID-19).
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| − | ***Edited for grammar and word choice: It will be postponed in order to safeguard the athletes and viewers from the pandemic outbreak of the novel coronavirus (COVID-19).
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| − | ***You would use "in order to" rather than "because to." "Because" never precedes "to." "In order to" is always followed by a verb (in this case: safeguard). EX. I eat in order to live. vs. I eat because I want to live. (notice the noun "I" after "because). Instead of "game watchers," a better term would be "viewers" or "audience." Add "the" before "novel coronavirus" since it means "new coronavirus" and is not a proper noun.
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| − | <br>According to the text" Japan's prime minster, Shinzo Abe made a decision to safeguard everyone, even the international community (IOC).
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| − | ***Edited for punctuation (quotation mark and comma) and capitalization and spelling: According to the text, Japan's prime minister, Shinzo Abe, made a decision to safeguard everyone, even the International Olympic Committee (IOC).
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| − | ***I'm not sure if you're quoting from a source, but if these are in your own words, then you don't need the quotation mark. Since "Shinzo Abe" is the name of the prime minister, you would either separate it with two commas surrounding it, or no commas at all. It would be better to clarify what IOC is, so spell the entire name out.
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| − | <br>This shows why the 2020 Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan will be postponed.
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| − | ***Good! However, try to change up your conclusion so that it doesn't sound like a copy of your first sentence.
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| − | '''Final Edited Version:'''
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| − | The 2020 Summer Olympic Games will be postponed in Tokyo, Japan. It will be postponed in order to safeguard the athletes and viewers from the pandemic outbreak of the novel coronavirus (COVID-19). According to the text, Japan's prime minister, Shinzo Abe, made a decision to safeguard everyone, even the International Olympic Committee (IOC). This shows why the 2020 Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan will be postponed.
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| − | ***Good job! I suggest you focus on comma placement. Please also write a few more sentences for your paragraphs since they are a bit short. You can add greater insight than just simply answering the question. Please also cite your source!
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| − | Edited by Ashley Leung
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