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| − | Two activities that seem like they might be the most fun are Jigsaw Puzzle, Board Games, and Card Games. Jigsaw Puzzles, Board Games and Card Games seems fun because when you play with Puzzles you also learn about shapes, and when you play Board games and Card Games it teaches you ideas such as saving, spending and other money-management.According to the text"Puzzles can teach you patience and delayed, while Board Games and Card Games can teach you vocabulary skills. This shows two activities that seems very fun.
| + | The 2020 Summer Olympic Games will be postponed in Tokyo, Japan. It will be postponed because to safeguard the athletes and game watchers from the pandemic outbreak of novel coronavirus (COVID-19). According to the text" Japan's prime minster, Shinzo Abe made a decision to safeguard everyone, even the international community (IOC). This shows why the 2020 Summer Olympic Games in Tokyo, Japan will be postponed. |
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| − | <br>Two activities that seem like they might be the most fun are Jigsaw Puzzle, Board Games, and Card Games.
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| − | ***Edited for clarity, fluidity, and capitalization: Three activities that seem to be the most fun are jigsaw puzzles, board games, and card games.
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| − | ***Since you listed three items, make sure to change it to "three activities." "Seem like they might be the most fun" can be condensed to "seem to be the most fun." For these games, you don't need to capitalize their names since they are generic games (not trademark games).
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| − | <br>Jigsaw Puzzles, Board Games and Card Games seems fun because when you play with Puzzles you also learn about shapes, and when you play Board games and Card Games it teaches you ideas such as saving, spending and other money-management.
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| − | ***Edited for grammar (run-on sentence, subject-verb agreement), fluidity, capitalization: Jigsaw puzzles, board games, and card games seem interesting; puzzle games teach you about shapes, and board games and card games teach you about money management.
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| − | ***This sentence is a bit long as a single sentence, so you can place a semicolon (;) in the middle to signify that the second half of the sentence is explaining the first half of the sentence. Again, these game names are lowercase. Since "jigsaw puzzles, board games, and card games" is a plural subject, you should follow with a singular verb "seem." Instead of saying "when you play with puzzles you also learn..." you can rephrase it as "puzzle games teach you..." This is more concise and direct. You can also condense "saving, spending and other money-management" to just "money management" since all of these fall under that category.
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| − | <br>According to the text"Puzzles can teach you patience and delayed, while Board Games and Card Games can teach you vocabulary skills.
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| − | ***Edited for punctuation (comma, quotation mark), capitalization: According to the text, "Puzzles can teach you patience while board games and card games can teach you vocabulary skills."
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| − | ***What source are you citing from? Is this quote directly from the source? (If not, don't use quotation marks). Add a comma before the quotation. You don't need a comma before "while."
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| − | <br>This shows two activities that seems very fun.
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| − | ***Edited for fluidity: This shows how fun and useful these activities are.
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| − | ***You don't want your conclusion to sound repetitive, so add another adjective like "useful" to describe these activities.
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| − | '''Final Edited Version:'''
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| − | Three activities that seem to be the most fun are jigsaw puzzles, board games, and card games. Jigsaw puzzles, board games, and card games seem interesting; puzzle games teach you about shapes, and board games and card games teach you about money management. According to the text, "Puzzles can teach you patience while board games and card games can teach you vocabulary skills." This shows how fun and useful these activities are.
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| − | ***Please work on subject-verb agreement and avoid run-on sentences. Also please cite the source (website) you're using if you quote something.
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| − | Edited by Ashley Leung
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