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| | Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here: | | Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here: |
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| − | Confirmed Covid-19 Cases Over 50,000
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| − | Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever shortness of breath, and dry coughing and it can harm people over 60 and with medical/health problems. If you do not want to catch the coronavirus than it is best to stay indoors where you aren't around anyone except for your family. The coronavirus is a very serious virus in so many ways, at least 177 countries have at least more than 10 cases in that country. In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and killed 18,000 people. For preventing the coronavirus we should wash our hands all the time for as long it takes to sing the alphabet, and we should not touch our face and also should not go outside often we should follow these rules strictly to be safe.
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| − | Edited:
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| − | Confirmed COVID-19 Cases Over 50,000
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| − | . . . The title can be changed to a more broad statement that catches the reader’s eye.
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| − | COVID-19 – A Deadly Virus
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| − | COVID-19 – Thousands of Cases across the World
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| − | Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever, shortness of breath, and dry coughing and it can harm people over 60 and with medical/health problems.
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| − | . . . A good first sentence but COVID-19 should be capitalized and the comma after “virus” needs to be taken out. A comma needs to be placed after the word “fever.” End the sentence after dry coughing then start a new one.
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| − | and it can harm people over 60 and with medical/health problems
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| − | . . . Maybe switch this sentence up a little bit. “Any age can be affected by this virus but senior citizens are more effected or people with health issues and underlying conditions.”
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| − | If you do not want to catch the coronavirus than it is best to stay indoors where you aren't around anyone except for your family.
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| − | . . . This is a good sentence by grammar needs a bit help! Change the “than” to “then” and a comma after Coronavirus and Coronavirus should be capitalized.
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| − | The coronavirus is a very serious virus in so many ways, at least 177 countries have at least more than 10 cases in that country.
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| − | . . . Capitalize “Coronavirus.” Let’s switch this sentence up a bit – Instead of starting with saying it is a serious virus, let’s start with the data. “Around 177 countries have been affected with at least 10 cases in each country, which makes this a very serious virus.”
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| − | In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and killed 18,000 people.
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| − | . . . Killed is not the right word here, but good comma placement. “In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and 18,000 deaths.”
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| − | For preventing the coronavirus we should wash our hands all the time for as long it takes to sing the alphabet, and we should not touch our face and also should not go outside often we should follow these rules strictly to be safe.
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| − | . . . Editing for fluidity; This is a great ending sentence but should be split up in to two sentences. There should be a comma after Coronavirus and Coronavirus should also be capitalized. “For preventing the Coronavirus, we should follow a few rules to be safe. We should wash our hands for as long as it takes to sing the alphabet. We should not touch our face and should not go outside around other people.”
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| − | Final Edit:
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| − | COVID-19 – A Deadly Virus
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| − | COVID-19 is a very deadly virus that causes symptoms like fever, shortness of breath, and dry coughing and can harm people over 60 years old who have medical/health problems. Any age can be affected by this virus but senior citizens are more effected and people with health issues and underlying conditions. If you do not want to catch the Coronavirus, then it is best to stay indoors where you aren't around anyone except for your family. Around 177 countries have been affected with at least 10 cases in each country, which makes this a very serious virus. In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and 18,000 deaths. For preventing the Coronavirus, we should follow a few rules to be safe. We should wash our hands for as long as it takes to sing the alphabet. We should also not touch our face and should not go outside around other people.
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| − | The Best Day for Chocolate Caramel Lovers
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| − | - Suggestion title: “For the Love of Chocolate Caramel”
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| − | Many think of chocolate caramel to be one of the greatest inventions ever made by mankind, as
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| − | it is a mix of sweet caramel and smooth chocolate.
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| − | - “made by mankind” already assumed, so not needed in the sentence.
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| − | - Looking for the descriptions of both chocolate and caramel to better understand “why” it
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| − | is one of the greatest inventions ever.
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| − | [[Sample sentence:]] Chocolate Caramel is one of the greatest combinations ever invented
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| − | because of its diverse flavor and texture.
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| − | The history and origins of this sweet delight date back to the 17th century when caramel was
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| − | made by the natives, originally from sugar beet juice.
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| − | - Good job condensing the history surrounding its origins.
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| − | - Maybe tie in the “noteworthy mention” on why it was often made with beet juice
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| − | [[Sample Sentence:]] The history and origins date back to the 17th century when caramel was
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| − | made by the natives, often from sugar beet juice because refined sugar was hard to come
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| − | across.
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| − | Chocolate was from Mesoamerica, and when European settlers drank the originally bitter treat,
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| − | they eagerly brought it back to Europe and made slight changes to the mix, adding sugar.
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| − | - Edited for word choice: “was” = originated
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| − | - Good job with the grammatical structure for the sentence.
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| − | - Stylistic changes: “made slight changes by adding sugar to the mix”
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| − | [[Sample Sentence:]] Chocolate originated in Mesoamerica, but when European settlers drank the
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| − | originally bitter treat, they eagerly brought it back to Europe and changed it by adding sugar to
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| − | the mix.
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| − | Mr. Hershey of the Hershey’s Candy Company originally sold caramel, but once he started to
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| − | make chocolate his main product, he mixed both sweets together to make chocolate caramel.
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| − | - Good!
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| − | Mr. Hershey made this mix popular amongst many and it became a sensation.
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| − | - Edited for word choice: “made this mix popular amongst many” = “popularized”
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| − | [[Sample Sentence:]] Mr. Hershey popularized it, and it became a sensation.
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| − | There are several ways to celebrate this invention, and many include eating one!
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| − | - Good restructure of the closing statement!
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| − | Overall, good job condensing facts and keeping a solid grammatical structure throughout. Some
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| − | stylistic changes could be made, but the integrity of the article was kept in your retelling of it!a
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| − | The Best Day for Chocolate Caramel Lovers
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| − | Many think of chocolate caramel to be one of the greatest inventions ever made by mankind, as it is a mix
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| − | of sweet caramel and smooth chocolate. The history and origins of this sweet delight date back to the
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| − | 17th century when caramel was made by the natives, originally from sugar beet juice. Chocolate was from
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| − | Mesoamerica, and when European settlers drank the originally bitter treat, they eagerly brought it back to
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| − | Europe and made slight changes to the mix, adding sugar. Mr. Hershey of the Hershey’s Candy Company
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| − | originally sold caramel, but once he started to make chocolate his main product, he mixed both sweets
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| − | together to make chocolate caramel. Mr. Hershey made this mix popular amongst many and it became a
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| − | sensation.
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| − | There are several ways to celebrate this invention, and many include eating one!
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| − | '''Edited:'''
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| − | “For the love of Chocolate Caramel”
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| − | Chocolate Caramel is one of the greatest combinations ever invented because of its diverse
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| − | flavor and texture. The history and origins date back to the 17th century when caramel was
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| − | made by the natives, often from sugar beet juice because refined sugar was hard to come
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| − | across. Chocolate originated in Mesoamerica, but when European settlers drank the originally
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| − | bitter treat, they eagerly brought it back to Europe and changed it by adding sugar to the mix.Mr.
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| − | Hershey of the Hershey’s Candy Company originally sold caramel, but once he started to make
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| − | chocolate his main product, he mixed both sweets together to make chocolate caramel. Mr.
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| − | Hershey popularized it, and it became a sensation.
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| − | There are several ways to celebrate this invention, and many include eating one!
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