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| + | Critical thinking is better than intelligence. When you use critical thinking, you think rationally. However, when you use intelligence, you memorize the facts. Also, intelligence would not be a life skill in the future, meaning it would not benefit or harm you. Not only that, intelligent people tend to forget more exams, tests, homework, and etc. Therefore, people who say intelligent people are better than critical thinkers, they should rethink that statement. | ||
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| + | Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-smart-people-do-foolish-things/ | ||
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What Is Up With R-Kelly? | What Is Up With R-Kelly? | ||
Revision as of 01:58, 2 March 2019
Sion’s Article Page: ————————————————— Intelligence VS. Critical Thinking
Critical thinking is better than intelligence. When you use critical thinking, you think rationally. However, when you use intelligence, you memorize the facts. Also, intelligence would not be a life skill in the future, meaning it would not benefit or harm you. Not only that, intelligent people tend to forget more exams, tests, homework, and etc. Therefore, people who say intelligent people are better than critical thinkers, they should rethink that statement.
Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-smart-people-do-foolish-things/
What Is Up With R-Kelly?
R-Kelly, a famous R&B singer, is charged for sexual abuse with underage women. This happened for at least two decades, but R-Kelly did not admit the fact. Evidence such as videos and words from the young women brought R-Kelly to charge. One video in particular showed a 14-year-old getting sexually abused by R-Kelly. R-Kelly has brought a big disappointment to the world, and so we hope he learns his mistakes and never do that again.
Protest in Israel.
Continuous disagreements and boycott led to death and suffering. Starting from March 30th, protestors,in Gaza, wanted the 12-year blockade of the coastal strip to evanesce. Due to the protesting, two Palestinian teens were dead. The incident happened neae Israeli fence, east of the Gaza Strip. Hasan Shalabi, 14-year-old, was shot on the chest and Hamza Shteiwi, 18-year-old, was shot on the neck. There are extreme protesters who go beyond the line.
Once LOST, but now FOUND.
Many parents worry about their children getting lost, hurt, or kidnapped. Two parents in Tennessee experienced the feeling, worriness, for two weeks. The two parents’ daughter, a 14-year-old teenager, was missing for two weeks. The public opens up that the 14-year-old was most likely raped by her adoptive father. The teenager was found in Wisconsin and the father was charged for rape. As teenagers, we should all be careful of all our surroundings to not have incidents like this.
Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna965801
Great job with the headline, but I recommend you only capitalize the first letters of each word: Once Lost, but Now Found
Sija, remember that news is not about opinions. Also, try to avoid the word “many” because it is too ambiguous; Parents often worry about their children getting lost, hurt, or kidnapped.
Make sure to review your spelling; I changed “worriness” to “feelings of worry” and reworded the sentence to allow it to flow better; This became a reality for a couple in Tennessee, who experienced the feelings of worry and helplessness, for weeks.
Writing “two parents” was not necessary because if you write “parents” it is understood that there are two of them. I changed “parents” to “couple” because I believe it fit better with the sentence. I also clarified that the girl was missing for over two weeks; The couple’s daughter, a 14-year-old teenager, went missing for over two weeks.
Sija, make sure to carefully read the original article. It is not correct to say that the “public” opened up about anything, because the public is usually told the story; it does not tell the story; Though not yet confirmed, it is speculated that the girl was most likely raped by her adoptive father.
I added a bit more detail by specifying how far away the girl was found; The teenager was found in Wisconsin, about 700 miles away from her home, and the adoptive father was charged with rape.
Sija, remember that news articles are not about the writer’s opinions so you should avoid these types of conclusion sentences. Also, remember to avoid first person whenever possible. I changed the sentence to one that added more information about the case; According to Monroe County Sheriff's Office records, the adoptive father is being held without bond.
Once LOST, but now FOUND.
Many parents worry about their children getting lost, hurt, or kidnapped. Two parents in Tennessee experienced the feeling, worriness, for two weeks. The two parents’ daughter, a 14-year-old teenager, was missing for two weeks. The public opens up that the 14-year-old was most likely raped by her adoptive father. The teenager was found in Wisconsin and the father was charged for rape. As teenagers, we should all be careful of all our surroundings to not have incidents like this. Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna965801
Once Lost, but Now Found.
Parents often worry about their children getting lost, hurt, or kidnapped. This became a reality for a couple in Tennessee, who experienced the feelings of worry and helplessness, for weeks. The couple’s daughter, a 14-year-old teenager, went missing for over two weeks. Though not yet confirmed, it is speculated that the girl was most likely raped by her adoptive father. The teenager was found in Wisconsin, about 700 miles away from her home, and the adoptive father was charged with rape. According to Monroe County Sheriff's Office records, the adoptive father is being held without bond. Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/ncna965801
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Link titleAnswer to an unanswered question for decades:
Many people have been pondering for decades about how long a day is on Saturn. The Astrophysical Journal answered, 10 hours, 33 minutes, and 38 seconds. The time for how long it takes to rotate, is a fundamental property because it tells us about Saturn’s gravitational field and internal structure. Saturn has the hardest rotation to measure because of the tilted magnetic fields that wobble Saturn to rotate. Furthermore, Saturn’s rings and waves tell us how long a day is on Saturn. These waves are caused by oscillations of materials deep within Saturn’s enigmatic interior. To measure these waves, experts used a bespoke numerical model. With the help of highly intelligent experts and highly made tools, experts were able to answer an unsolved question.
Headline is good, but clarity is needed. An example might be: Answer found to a decades-old question
I reworded this sentence but kept your original idea which was great; For decades, many people had been inquiring about the length of a day on Saturn.
Again, I reworded this sentence but kept your original idea which was great; The Astrophysical Journal produced an answer, observing that a day on Saturn lasts 10 hours, 33 minutes and 38 seconds.
I omitted the “how” because it was not necessary; The time it takes for Saturn to rotate is a fundamental property because it tells us about the planet’s gravitational field and internal structure.
“Saturn has the hardest rotation to measure because of the tilted magnetic fields that wobble Saturn to rotate.” Sija, after reading the original article, I found that this statement about the “tilted magnetic fields that wobble” was not, in fact, referring to Saturn so I am omitting it. Make sure to read very carefully; The rotation of this planet is the only one that is hard to measure.
I changed “furthermore” to “however” because “furthermore” should be used when playing off the same idea of a previous sentence; in this case, the idea changes; However, it is Saturn’s rings and waves that tell us how long a day is on the planet.
Sija, this sentence is good, but it is almost the exact same sentence from the original article; be careful to not plagiarize; The waves can be caused orbiting moons which tug at the planet’s rings and by oscillations of materials deep within Saturn’s enigmatic interior.
I clarified that a team had to create this model for the specific purpose of measuring; To measure these waves, a team created a bespoke numerical model.
I added "group" and changed "expertly" for "skillfully" but you had the idea! With the help of a highly intelligent group of individuals and skillfully-made tools, experts were able to find an answer to an unsolved question.
Answer to an unanswered question for decades:
Many people have been pondering for decades about how long a day is on Saturn. The Astrophysical Journal answered, 10 hours, 33 minutes, and 38 seconds. The time for how long it takes to rotate, is a fundamental property because it tells us about Saturn’s gravitational field and internal structure. Saturn has the hardest rotation to measure because of the tilted magnetic fields that wobble Saturn to rotate. Furthermore, Saturn’s rings and waves tell us how long a day is on Saturn. These waves are caused by oscillations of materials deep within Saturn’s enigmatic interior. To measure these waves, experts used a bespoke numerical model. With the help of highly intelligent experts and highly made tools, experts were able to answer an unsolved question.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/01/how-long-is-day-on-saturn-astronomers-just-found-out/
Answer found to a decades-old question
For decades, many people had been inquiring about the length of a day on Saturn. The Astrophysical Journal produced an answer, observing that a day on Saturn lasts 10 hours, 33 minutes and 38 seconds. The time it takes for Saturn to rotate is a fundamental property because it tells us about the planet’s gravitational field and internal structure. The rotation of this planet is the only one that is hard to measure. However, it is Saturn’s rings and waves that tell us how long a day is on the planet. The waves can be caused orbiting moons which tug at the planet’s rings and by oscillations of materials deep within Saturn’s enigmatic interior. To measure these waves, a team created a bespoke numerical model. With the help of a highly intelligent group of individuals and skillfully-made tools, experts were able to find an answer to an unsolved question.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/01/how-long-is-day-on-saturn-astronomers-just-found-out/
Dear Editor,
What do you mean by “for more clarity?”
"for more clarity" means that I reorganized the order of the words or I switched a word out for a synonym so that the reader could follow along more easily and better understand the point of the sentence.
Obesity is a huge problem in America. Citizens make a statement about obesity, they say it is harder to lose weight, after you gained weight. A woman, living in Texas, say it is harder for her to diet because she will gain more weight after. Not only that, she states that people with more weight have better blood pressure and cholesterol. However, people who are skinny have a non- average blood pressure and are weak because they force themselves to lose weight. Still today, obesity is being researched and answered.
Source: www.applenews.com
Headline is missing. An example for a headline might be "A Heavy Issue in America"
Within the topic sentence, write the main idea of the article, but you did not write the main idea, you just wrote an idea: Obesity is a huge problem in America. Sija, what is this the main point of the article? I changed the word "huge" to "tremendous" because it conveys a more neutral tone; Obesity is a tremendous problem in America.
"Citizens make a statement about obesity" The grammar in this sentence is wrong. Citizens can not make 1 statement if there are many statements. "Citizens" make many statements, or "A citizen makes a statement..." In this case I think you should write:
Citizens across America are stating their opinions, both negative and positive, on obesity and weight loss.
Sija, what gives the woman in Texas the right to be the authority on obesity. I know that your article is about opinions, but news is not really about opinions, it's about events that happen that are "news worthy". Also, because you are talking about one single woman, the word "say" should be changed to "says" and the word "living" can be omitted; A woman in Texas says it is harder for her to diet because she will gain more weight after.
I changed "not only that" to "additionally"; Also, the woman states that people with more weight have better blood pressure and cholesterol.
Sija, where is this coming from? "However, people who are skinny have a non- average blood pressure and are weak because they force themselves to lose weight." Who is the authority on this? Additionally, I changed "skinny" to "thinner" and "non-average" to "unstable" for clarity; However, people who are thinner have lower blood pressure and are weak because they force themselves to lose weight.
I changed "still" to "even" and added on "answers are being sought" to provide more clarity; Still today, obesity is being researched and answers are being sought.
You must copy and paste the exact URL from the website where the article is located to compare what you wrote with the original authors.
A Heavy Issue in America
Obesity is a huge problem in America. Citizens make a statement about obesity, they say it is harder to lose weight, after you gained weight. A woman, living in Texas, say it is harder for her to diet because she will gain more weight after. Not only that, she states that people with more weight have better blood pressure and cholesterol. However, people who are skinny have a non- average blood pressure and are weak because they force themselves to lose weight. Still today, obesity is being researched and answered.
www.applenews.com
A Heavy Issue in America
Obesity is a tremendous problem in America. Citizens across America are stating their opinions, both negative and positive, on obesity and weight loss. A woman in Texas says it is harder for her to diet because she will gain more weight after. Additionally, she states that people with more weight have better blood pressure and cholesterol. However, people who are thinner have unstable blood pressure and are weak because they force themselves to lose weight. Even today, obesity is being researched and answers are being sought.
www.applenews.com
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Surgeons are looking for the cause of a 9 year old girl’s epilepsy. For weeks, she has been suffering from a blank mind and lips twitching. She took an MRI, CTI and turned out to be fine. Soon, surgeons found out that she was suffering from E.P.C, which affects only one part of your body. All in all, she needed to have a brain surgery to remove part of the brain that distracts her from her daily practice.
Source: www.nytimes.com
Headline is missing. An example for a headline might be “Brainstorming for a Cause”
Sija, you wrote “surgeons are looking” in the first sentence, but then wrote “surgeons found out” in the fourth sentence, which results in a contradiction. Where are these surgeons from? Also, remember that when writing age, you must include hyphens; Surgeons searched and established the cause of a 9-year-old girl’s epilepsy.
Since the cause has already been discovered, make sure to write in past tense. I also switched “twitching” and “lips” for clarity; For weeks, she had been suffering from a blank mind and twitching lips.
I changed “took” to “was administered” to better describe the situation. She was administered an MRI and a CTI, which came back fine.
Sija, you might want to explain what E.P.C. is, for those who don’t know. Additionally, I changed “soon” to “later”. Did you mean to write “body” or “brain” at the end of the sentence? Surgeons later found out that the girl was suffering from E.P.C. (Epilepsia Partialis Continua), which affects only one part of your body.
I changed “all in all” to “ultimately”. Again, remember to write in the past tense. Ultimately, the girl needed to have brain surgery to remove the part of the brain that distracted her from her daily practices.
You must copy and paste the exact URL from the website where the article is located to compare what you wrote with the original authors.
Brainstorming for a Cause
Surgeons are looking for the cause of a 9 year old girl’s epilepsy. For weeks, she has been suffering from a blank mind and lips twitching. She took an MRI, CTI and turned out to be fine. Soon, surgeons found out that she was suffering from E.P.C, which affects only one part of your body. All in all, she needed to have a brain surgery to remove part of the brain that distracts her from her daily practice.
Brainstorming for a Cause
Surgeons searched for and established the cause of a 9-year-old girl’s epilepsy. For weeks, she had been suffering from a blank mind and twitching lips. She was administered an MRI and a CTI, which came back fine. Surgeons later found out that the girl was suffering from E.P.C. (Epilepsia Partialis Continua), which affects only one part of your body. Ultimately, the girl needed to have brain surgery to remove the part of the brain that distracted her from her daily practices.
Pearl Harbor:
(br)December 7, the annual recognization of World War II, being considered today. Pearl Harbor located in Hawaii recalls World War II. The Japanese wanted to fight United States, but failed. This insident occurred in 1939, when the Japanese told Americans that if they don’t give them a deal; a war will happen. President Roosevelt didn’t make the deal, so the Japanese started the war. Today, we consider the effects that happened in the U.S.
Source:https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2018/12/pearl-harbor-maps--atlas-of-WWII/
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Headline is a bit vague; a better example might be “A Day to Remember the Bombing of Pearl Harbor”
Sija, Dec. 7 recognizes the Pearl Harbor bombing, specifically, so I included that event in the sentence. Also, be careful with the spelling of words; I think the word you were looking for was “recognition,” but I think “memorial” fit better in the sentence. Additionally, according to AP style writing, if certain months are mentioned with specific dates, the months can be abbreviated which is why I abbreviated December; Dec. 7 serves as the annual memorial of the Pearl Harbor bombing that occurred during World War II.
Remember to place your commas. I changed “recalls” to “serves as a visual reminder to add a bit more depth; Pearl Harbor, located in Hawaii, serves as a visual reminder of World War II.
I reworded this sentence but kept your original idea which was great; During the war, the Japanese fought against the United States but were ultimately defeated.
Be careful with spelling; the correct spelling is “incident”. Also, a comma should have gone where you placed the semicolon. Additionally, remember to use past tense when talking about an event that already occurred; The aforementioned incident occurred in 1939, when the Japanese expressed that unless a deal was made, a war would occur.
Remember that in professional writing, one should avoid using contractions. I changed “didn’t” to “refused” and “started” to “initiated”; President Roosevelt refused to make a deal, which led the Japanese to initiate the war.
Today, we consider the effects that happened in the U.S.
Pearl Harbor:
(br)December 7, the annual recognization of World War II, being considered today. Pearl Harbor located in Hawaii recalls World War II. The Japanese wanted to fight United States, but failed. This insident occurred in 1939, when the Japanese told Americans that if they don’t give them a deal; a war will happen. President Roosevelt didn’t make the deal, so the Japanese started the war. Today, we consider the effects that happened in the U.S. Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2018/12/pearl-harbor-maps--atlas-of-WWII/
A Day to Remember the Bombing of Pearl Harbor
Dec. 7 serves as the annual memorial of the Pearl Harbor bombing that occurred during World War II. Pearl Harbor, located in Hawaii, serves as a visual reminder of the war. During World War II, the Japanese fought against the United States but were ultimately defeated. The aforementioned incident occurred in 1939, when the Japanese expressed that unless a deal was made, a war would occur. President Roosevelt refused to make a deal, which led the Japanese to initiate the war. Today, we consider the effects that happened in the U.S. Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2018/12/pearl-harbor-maps--atlas-of-WWII/
The way school buses are made have a long history. First of all, it is a law that school buses should be yellow because of its clearness. Also, it allows you to see in the peripheral vision. A peripheral vision is seeing with the corners of your eyes by not tilting your neck. Not only that, yellow helps you see in the dark or on a bad weather day. Therefore, the buses are yellow today. www.readtheory.com
Headline is missing; a good example might be, “You Had Me at Yellow” (a play on words for “you had me at hello”)
The word “extensive” is a synonym for “long” but is a bit more descriptive. I also reorganized the order of the sentence so that it reads a bit easier; There is an extensive history behind the making of school busses.
Sija, I am not sure what you meant by “clearness” so I took the liberty of rephrasing the sentence; By law, school busses are required to be yellow because of how the color calls attention.
Because I am going off the idea in previous sentence, I am starting the next sentence by giving an example; For instance, yellow is easily visible in one’s peripheral vision.
Defining “peripheral vision” was a great idea; I just changed the sentence so that it was not in second person, since we usually try to avoid that; Peripheral vision allows one to see from the outside corner of your eyes without having to tilt one’s head.
I changed “not only that to “additionally” because it is a bit more concise and again, I changed the sentence so that it is not in second person; Additionally, yellow is more visible in the dark or in bad weather.
The last sentence should be a conclusion of the previous sentences; It is for these reasons that, still today, school busses are yellow.
You must copy and paste the exact URL from the website where the article is located to compare what you wrote with the original authors.
You Had Me at Yellow
The way school buses are made have a long history. First of all, it is a law that school buses should be yellow because of its clearness. Also, it allows you to see in the peripheral vision. A peripheral vision is seeing with the corners of your eyes by not tilting your neck. Not only that, yellow helps you see in the dark or on a bad weather day. Therefore, the buses are yellow today.
You Had Me at Yellow
There is an extensive history behind the making of school buses. By law, school buses are required to be yellow because of how the color calls attention. For instance, yellow is easily visible in one’s peripheral vision. Peripheral vision allows one to see from the outside corner of your eyes without having to tilt one’s head. Additionally, yellow is more visible in the dark or in bad weather. It is for these reasons that, still today, school buses are yellow. Source:
Recently, in China, people found an unusual looking creature. This creature looks odd because it has a bird looking head and a fish looking body. Furthermore, the creature has fins that looks like wings and a mouth that looks like a beak. To know about this creature more, an animal physiologist thinks the creature looks as it is because of a defective cell growth, or a harmful chemical might have deformed it. Another physiologist said it looks healthy, but might have hard time breathing and feeding. Many people are still studying this fish thoroughly to get accurate information about this creature.
www.goodtoknow.com/main page
Headline is missing. A good example might be, “A Fishy Matter”
I changed the order of your words so that the sentence would flow better; An unusual looking creature was recently found by some people in China.
Sija, when you say “this creature looks odd, because…,” it gives the reader the impression that you have seen the creature with your own eyes. For this reason, I changed the sentence and added “was described”; The odd-looking creature is described as having a head like a bird and a body like a fish.
Because you had already used “look like” once, I wrote beak-like” to avoid repetition; Furthermore, the creature is said to have fins that look like wings and a beak-like mouth.
Sija, who is this physiologist? Having his/her name would give credibility to what you are saying. I also changed “as it is” to “like it does”; One animal physiologist thinks that the creature looks like it does, because of defective cell growth, or because a harmful chemical may have deformed it.
Again, having names is important for credibility. I also changed “hard time” to “difficulty”; Another physiologist said that it looks healthy but may have difficulty breathing and feeding.
Sija, do we know for a fact that it is classified as a fish? People are still thoroughly studying the strange creature in order to get more accurate information about it.
You must copy and paste the exact URL from the website where the article is located to compare what you wrote with the original authors.
A Fishy Matter
Recently, in China, people found an unusual looking creature. This creature looks odd because it has a bird looking head and a fish looking body. Furthermore, the creature has fins that looks like wings and a mouth that looks like a beak. To know about this creature more, an animal physiologist thinks the creature looks as it is because of a defective cell growth, or a harmful chemical might have deformed it. Another physiologist said it looks healthy, but might have hard time breathing and feeding. Many people are still studying this fish thoroughly to get accurate information about this creature.
A Fishy Matter
An unusual looking creature was recently found by some people in China. The odd-looking creature is described as having a head like a bird and a body like a fish. Furthermore, the creature is said to have fins that look like wings and a beak-like mouth. One animal physiologist thinks that the creature looks like it does, because of defective cell growth or because a harmful chemical may have deformed it. Another physiologist said that it looks healthy but may have difficulty breathing and feeding. People are still thoroughly studying the strange creature in order to get more accurate information about it. Source:
Domino's, the pizza store, is thinking many ways to get an increase in sales. They fabricated a robot, that allowed any customers to ask what they want. Also, they had their own app called, Tummy Translator, and which offered food recommendations. Not only that, Domino’s is trying to dispense gift cards, that are worth $5000, to people who got chosen in the lottery. They had a robot, app, and prize to get attention from a lot of people. These days, Domino’s is drawing their logos on the streets. Domino’s is a money hunger pizza store.
https://www.dogonews.com/2018/6/27/dominos-is-funding-road-repairs-to-protect-your-pizza
To be great leaders in life they have to be confident in themselves, connected to the group members, and committed to the purpose. Leaders have a big role in their group, which is showing them assurance. If the leader is confident, assured, and connected, it could be clear that this group would succeed. Furthermore, if you are the leader and you don't have confidence, it would show that you will betray your own needs to please your group members. Not only that, Brad, a worker, was assigned to be the leader, but he was in having confidence in himself, so he wanted to resign. However, knowing what his weakness was his friend helped him build up more confidence. To conclude, leaders will succeed if they be confident, connected, and committed to the purpose. https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2017/11/people-become-leaders-by-responding-effectively-to-challenges-author.
Currently, researchers are investigating Otzi’s intestine. Otzi, the iceman, lived 5,300 years ago. One day two German hikers found a dead body buried in ice, which was later identified as Otzi’s body. Through the investigation, researchers were able to find that Otzi had dark hair, brown eyes; and was five feet, five inches tall. Furthermore, he had rotten teeth, he had plague around his heart, and he had suffered from arthritis. Not only that, he was murdered with arrows. Back to the topic, in Otzi’s intestine, researchers found out that he ate ibexes, goats, wheats, and red deers. Continusly, researchers will continue accommodating information about Otzi. https://www.dogonews.com/2018/7/25/otzi-the-icemans-last-meal-was-a-delicious-high-calorie-feast
Iron man has come back alive! Richard Browning, who brought Iron man alive, is being praised for his creation to bring Iron man alive. He has to wear a 99 pound exoskeleton with six small jet engines, in order to help him fly. Furthermore, he can control his creation by few body movements. In addition, his creation can fly up to 280 miles per hour. We should be thankful for having Richard bringing Iron man back. https://www.dogonews.com/2018/8/18/iron-mans-flight-suit-is-now-a-reality
