The World for Freedom

Revision as of 21:54, 14 November 2018

Pema's GTK Article Page
Hi Pema, you cannot use the sentences from the original articles. That is not the assignments for getting better. You need to paraphrase the sentences in your own words. This will help you for the SAT. Good job doing it though. - Mr. Steve

Pema Sherpa 11-2-18
The Struggles of being a Migrant
***Capitalize "Being".
Due to violence and harsh conditions in El Salvador, migrants try to flee up north.
Many Salvadoran migrants would meet up with other caravans to get water for the trip to the U.S. border.
***Change this to present tense. Do this by dropping the word "would."
***Corrected sentence: Many Salvadoran migrants meet up with other caravans to get water for the trip to the U.S. border.
17 year old, Sandra, wants to attend college but since she lives in a neighborhood where gangs have made the lives of the people living there harsh.
***A comma isn't necessary before and after "Sandra."
***This sentence is incomplete. Drop the word "since" to fix this problem.
***"A neighborhood where gangs have made the lives of the people living there harsh" is more wordy than it needs to be. Try: "a harsh neighborhood due to gangs."
***Corrected sentence: 17 year old Sandra wants to attend college but she lives in a harsh neighborhood due to gangs.
With the long and harsh journey many people left their own children back at home, they did not want to risk their lives while on the journey to the U.S.
***Since you have just used the word "harsh" in the previous sentence, switch it out for a synonym. Try: "hard."
***The first part of this sentence makes more sense if you switch the wording to, "Many people left their children back at home because of the long and hard journey."
***Your use of a comma here is considered a comma splice, where a comma is used to join two independent clauses. Instead, use a semicolon.
***Corrected sentence: Many people left their children back at home because of the long and hard journey; they did not want to risk their lives while on the journey to the U.S.
Many Salvadoran migrants struggled to get across the borders because it was hard for them to get into a caravan.
Although there may have been many hardships through their journey, the Salvadoran and Honduran migrants pushed their way to get across the border and start a new life of opportunity
***"Throughout" is more powerful in this circumstance than "through."
***A less wordy way of saying "pushed their way to get across the border and start a new life of opportunity," is to say "pushed their way across the border to start a new life of opportunity." It is just slightly more effective.
***Corrected sentence: Although there may have been many hardships throughout their journey, the Salvadoran and Honduran migrants pushed their way across the border to start a new life of opportunity.

The Struggles of Being a Migrant
Due to violence and harsh conditions in El Salvador, migrants try to flee up north.
Many Salvadoran migrants meet up with other caravans to get water for the trip to the U.S. border.
17 year old Sandra wants to attend college but she lives in a harsh neighborhood due to gangs.
Many people left their children back at home because of the long and hard journey; they did not want to risk their lives while on the journey to the U.S.
Many Salvadoran migrants struggled to get across the borders because it was hard for them to get into a caravan.
Although there may have been many hardships throughout their journey, the Salvadoran and Honduran migrants pushed their way across the border to start a new life of opportunity.

Pema Sherpa 10-25-18
Water Crisis in India
India is now facing their worst water shortage in history.
More than 20 cities will gulp their entire aquifers dry within the next two years. This means that about hundreds of millions of people will be living without groundwater.
Sustainable water development in India has seen slow progress in recent years.
The governments idea in fixing the problem is to build more dams, they already have about 5,000 dams, and it won't make a difference.
Poor irrigation techniques and severe contamination of groundwater have brought India to the edge of this crisis.
India must be strong and fight through this crisis, eventually they'll have enough resources to fix the water shortage problem presently.
Many Salvadoran migrants struggled to get across the borders because it was hard for them to get into a caravan.

Pema Sherpa 10-25-18
The Dangers of Earthquakes
A magnitude 8.2 earthquake struck southern Mexico, killing dozens and injuring hundreds.
The event of the quake took place in a matter of tens of seconds, and it released a great amount of energy.
The deep quakes can create strong shaking over a wide area that can level plenty of buildings.
One earthquake was the one that took place beneath the Chilean town of Chilean in 1939, the earthquake had killed at least 30,000 people.
Earthquakes are a force that is not to be messed with, as you may have already herd, they can cause mass damage and end lives in an instant.
These days in case there is an incoming earthquake, we have the technology to detect the movements of the plates which can tell us whats going o under ground.

Pema Sherpa 10-18-18
Adventures Down Deep
National Geographic cave photographer, Robbie Shone,and his assistant Jeff Wade had joined a Russian expedition to explore and photograph Veryovkina, the deepest-known cave on Earth.
Their was a rumble that had occurred while the crew members were diving down into the cave.The entire cave began to shake as if by a earthquake.
Their is an enormous flood that covers scrambling for their lives.
Shone says that the sound was nothing he had ever herd before.
The rumbling coming from the depths of the cave was caused by the flood that was building within the cave.
As a result of the caves starting to flood up the cavers and Shone had to return to the surface due the fact that it would've been dangerous for anyone to stay down in the cave.

Pema Sherpa 10-6-18
The Influence of Beards
The beard has been a common trend through history.
Historically beards have come in many types of shapes and foms such as curled, dyed, waxed, braided, gilded, scented, starched, taxed, and forbidden.
The president, Abraham Lincoln, grew his famous beard at the suggestion of a little girl who lived in Westfield, New York.
Mostly fashion gets moits influence from wars, and usually wars discourage many men to grow their beards.
In wars or battle, beards were often used as a handy handle for the enemy to use against someone in combat.
As a result, beards have become very popular through history but also dangerous in the wars that took place all those many years in history.