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Hi New Editor!
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The Sun Is Very Lazy
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***Title is pretty good; it’s straight to the point. However, it doesn’t really entail what the article is about. What is the sun considered to be "lazy?"
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Researchers compared our sun to 369 other stars, which the were similar to our sun.
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*** Omit “the”.
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What the researchers found out was that other stars are more active than our own sun.
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*** Sounds good!  
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They also saw that other stars revealed that they are around five times the brightness variability showed by the sun during the same time period.
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*** Edited for word choice. Try: In addition, they discovered that other stars exhibited around five times the brightness variability as the sun; all of which was shown during the same period.
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The magnetic fields caused by the star’s electrically charged gases are very strong.
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*** There’s a lot to wrap your head around here. Let’s add a hyphen to execute this statement a little better: The magnetic fields–which are caused by the star’s electrically charged gases–are very strong. 
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And so to cross and interact in ways that cause solar flares.
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***Beginning a sentence with a coordinating conjunction (like “and”) is perfectly fine; however, what if we try this: As a result, there is a high chance that they will cross and interact in ways that cause solar flares. Also, I want to point out that what you have written sounds very similar to what was said in the article. Be careful with that!
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When our sun lets out these intense bursts of radiation They can collide with Earth’s own magnetic field that makes an aurora.
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*** Careful with plagiarism! This sentence is almost identical to the one in the article. When you paraphrase, you take what’s written in the article and put it in your own words. Let’s try: When bursts of radiation are released from the sun, they can interact with Earth’s magnetic field; this creates what is known as aurorae.
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*** We need a conclusion. The article states that the sun’s activity dates to 9,000 years back and that it may perk back up at some other time. We can say: Although the sun’s most lively activity dates back to 9,000 years ago, scientists believe that the star will become active sometime in the future.
  
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This is the Practice page for you to make sure you know how to make sure your edits save and how to format certain sentences.
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Edited by Kelli Hoeppner
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<br> https://www.popsci.com/story/space/sun-low-activity-star/
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Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here:
 
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<br>Now, if you want to separate any of the sentences, simply add <code><nowiki><br></nowiki></code> to the beginning of the sentence you want to be separated from another sentence.
 
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<br>If you want to separate any of the sentences, simply add <code><nowiki><br><br></nowiki></code> to the beginning of the sentence you want to be separated from another sentence.
 
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<br>If you want to bold any of the text, add three apostrophes to the front of the text you want bolded and three apostrophes to the end of the text you want bolded, like this <code><nowiki>'''</nowiki></code>'''Billy'''<code><nowiki>'''</nowiki></code>
 
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<br>Lastly, do not forget to save your changes or none of the edits will remain. Look below this text entry box. You'll see a blue button that says, "Save Changes". Click that and all your work will be saved!
 

Revision as of 20:33, 22 May 2020

The Sun Is Very Lazy

      • Title is pretty good; it’s straight to the point. However, it doesn’t really entail what the article is about. What is the sun considered to be "lazy?"

Researchers compared our sun to 369 other stars, which the were similar to our sun.

      • Omit “the”.

What the researchers found out was that other stars are more active than our own sun.

      • Sounds good!

They also saw that other stars revealed that they are around five times the brightness variability showed by the sun during the same time period.

      • Edited for word choice. Try: In addition, they discovered that other stars exhibited around five times the brightness variability as the sun; all of which was shown during the same period.

The magnetic fields caused by the star’s electrically charged gases are very strong.

      • There’s a lot to wrap your head around here. Let’s add a hyphen to execute this statement a little better: The magnetic fields–which are caused by the star’s electrically charged gases–are very strong.

And so to cross and interact in ways that cause solar flares.

      • Beginning a sentence with a coordinating conjunction (like “and”) is perfectly fine; however, what if we try this: As a result, there is a high chance that they will cross and interact in ways that cause solar flares. Also, I want to point out that what you have written sounds very similar to what was said in the article. Be careful with that!

When our sun lets out these intense bursts of radiation They can collide with Earth’s own magnetic field that makes an aurora.

      • Careful with plagiarism! This sentence is almost identical to the one in the article. When you paraphrase, you take what’s written in the article and put it in your own words. Let’s try: When bursts of radiation are released from the sun, they can interact with Earth’s magnetic field; this creates what is known as aurorae.
      • We need a conclusion. The article states that the sun’s activity dates to 9,000 years back and that it may perk back up at some other time. We can say: Although the sun’s most lively activity dates back to 9,000 years ago, scientists believe that the star will become active sometime in the future.

Edited by Kelli Hoeppner
https://www.popsci.com/story/space/sun-low-activity-star/