|
|
| Line 4: |
Line 4: |
| | | | |
| | Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here: | | Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here: |
| − | <be> | + | <br> |
| − | | |
| − | '''Original:'''
| |
| − | | |
| − | Changes of COVID-19
| |
| − | | |
| − | Covid-19 has all changed our lives currently, however, the real question is what will happen when this is all over. Most sit in quarantine in order to escape the virus, but surely our lives will change because we have seen what this virus can do. In a recent poll, more than 54% want to change the way they live as well as how the country lives. 42% say that they have valued more of food and other essentials. 61% have started to spend less money and 51% have noticed cleaner air. All in all, people have noticed multiple changes because of Covid-19 and they hope to keep these changes.
| |
| − | | |
| − | Source: https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-only-9-of-britons-want-life-to-return-to-normal-once-lockdown-is-over-11974459
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''Edits:'''
| |
| − | | |
| − | Changes of COVID-19
| |
| − | ***This is a pretty good title! However, consider switching "of" to "caused by" to make the title a bit less vague; "Changes Caused by COVID-19"
| |
| − | | |
| − | Covid-19 has all changed our lives currently, however, the real question is what will happen when this is all over.
| |
| − | ***Edited for fluidity and capitalization; "COVID-19 has already changed all of our lives, but the real question is what will happen when this is all over."
| |
| − | | |
| − | Most sit in quarantine in order to escape the virus, but surely our lives will change because we have seen what this virus can do.
| |
| − | ***Edited for specificity, word choice, and to avoid repetition; "Most people are currently isolated in order to escape the virus, but our lives will surely be different based on what this pandemic has already changed."
| |
| − | | |
| − | In a recent poll, more than 54% want to change the way they live as well as how the country lives.
| |
| − | ***More than 54% of whom? When including statistics, make sure you also include what population that statistic is from. Edited for fluidity and additional information; "According to a recent poll, more than 54% of Britons want to change the way they and the rest of the country live."
| |
| − | | |
| − | 42% say that they have valued more of food and other essentials.
| |
| − | ***This sentence is pretty close to the way it is phrased in the article, so consider changing “food and other essentials” into a different phrase that means the same thing. Britons now value food and other essentials more than what, though? Make sure to clarify this with your statistic. Edited for tense agreement and fluidity; "42% say that they value basic essentials that they once took for granted, like food, more now than they did before the pandemic."
| |
| − | | |
| − | 61% have started to spend less money and 51% have noticed cleaner air.
| |
| − | ***After the edits of the previous sentence, this is good! For fluidity and a transition from the previous sentence, add a linking word at the beginning of this sentence; "Additionally, 61% have started to spend less money and 51% have noticed cleaner air."
| |
| − | | |
| − | All in all, people have noticed multiple changes because of Covid-19 and they hope to keep these changes.
| |
| − | ***I like how you begin this sentence as a way to indicate you're concluding the paragraph. Also, when you link two complete sentences together with a conjunction like "and" to form one whole sentence, remember to include a comma before the conjunction. Edited for fluidity and specificity; "All in all, people have noticed multiple positive changes in lifestyle due to COVID-19, and they hope to keep these changes after the pandemic."
| |
| − | | |
| − | '''Fully Edited Version:'''
| |
| − | | |
| − | Changes Caused by COVID-19
| |
| − | | |
| − | COVID-19 has already changed all of our lives, but the real question is what will happen when this is all over. Most people are currently isolated in order to escape the virus, but our lives will surely be different based on what this pandemic has already changed. According to a recent poll, more than 54% of Britons want to change the way they and the rest of the country live. 42% say that they value basic essentials that they once took for granted, like food, more now than they did before the pandemic. Additionally, 61% have started to spend less money and 51% have noticed cleaner air. All in all, people have noticed multiple positive changes in lifestyle due to COVID-19, and they hope to keep these changes after the pandemic.
| |
| − | | |
| − | Source:https://news.sky.com/story/coronavirus-only-9-of-britons-want-life-to-return-to-normal-once-lockdown-is-over-11974459 Edited by Natasha Vatalaro
| |
| − | | |
| − | ***Overall, You do a good job of keeping your voice active and not passive, and I like your inclusion of statistics! Make sure to keep an eye on how the statistics are integrated into your writing and pay attention to the information you should be including with qualifying statements that include words like "more" and "less".
| |
| | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ | | ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ |
| − |
| |
| − | '''Original:'''
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Jellyfish Give a Toxic Sting Without Tentacles
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | If you have ever gotten out of the water from a swim at the beach, you may have experienced a strange itchy or burning feeling. It is called stinging water and the cause is still unknown; however, scientists may have an answer. They believe a type of jellyfish called the Cassiopea might be the suspect of the stinging water. These jellyfish have a soft, and circular body with tentacles floating above them. They sting their victims by releasing mucus into the water, but scientists have never explored what in the mucus is causing the irritation. The plumes of mucus that are released have tiny spheres and are covered nematocysts, which regular jellyfish stinging cells have. Studying this animal can lead to and understanding the biological process which can both help humans and animals.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/cause-mystery-stings-ocean-confirmed-180974198/
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | '''Edits:'''
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Jellyfish Give a Toxic Sting Without Tentacles
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ***This is a great, clear title! Good job.
| |
| − | These jellyfish have a soft, and circular body with tentacles floating above them.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ***Remove "and" from the sentence. You do not need it.
| |
| − | They believe a type of jellyfish called the Cassiopea might be the suspect of the stinging water.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ***The word "suspect" should be replaced with "source" for clarity. "Suspect" doesn't quite fit with the context and is out of place.
| |
| − | The plumes of mucus that are released have tiny spheres and are covered nematocysts, which regular jellyfish stinging cells have.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ***Add the word "with" before "nematocysts" for clarity.
| |
| − | Studying this animal can lead to and understanding the biological process which can both help humans and animals.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ***This sentence is unclear. I assume you were trying to say "...can lead to an understanding of the..." instead of "...and understanding the..." Try changing the sentence to "Studying this animal can lead to a better understanding of the biological processes, which can help both humans and animals." This was a great way to end your summary. Excellent job!
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | '''Fully edited version:'''
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Jellyfish Give a Toxic Sting Without Tentacles
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − | If you have ever gotten out of the water from a swim at the beach, you may have experienced a strange itchy or burning feeling. It is called stinging water and the cause is still unknown; however, scientists may have an answer. They believe a type of jellyfish called the Cassiopea might be the source of the stinging water. These jellyfish have a soft, circular body with tentacles floating above them. They sting their victims by releasing mucus into the water, but scientists have never explored what in the mucus is causing the irritation. The plumes of mucus that are released have tiny spheres and are covered with nematocysts, which regular jellyfish stinging cells have. Studying this animal can lead to a better understanding of the biological process which can both help humans and animals.
| |
| − |
| |
| − | Source: https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/cause-mystery-stings-ocean-confirmed-180974198/
| |
| − |
| |
| − | ***I enjoyed reading your summary. Simply double-checking your work in the future would add a lot more clarity, as your errors were all "simple mistakes." Great job!
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| − |
| |
| | | | |
| | | | |
This is the Practice page for you to make sure you know how to make sure your edits save and how to format certain sentences.
Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here:
