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The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he says I am so fine and my happiness overpowers me. According to the text," the flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended." This show why the fern sang a song to the flax. | The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he says I am so fine and my happiness overpowers me. According to the text," the flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended." This show why the fern sang a song to the flax. | ||
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| + | The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he says I am so fine and my happiness overpowers me. | ||
| + | ***Edited for tense and pronoun: The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he said he was so fine and happiness overpowers me. | ||
| + | ***This sentence is kind of unclear (I'm not sure what you mean"). Use past tense. Replace "I" with "he" (only use "I" in quotes when it's actually what he said). | ||
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| + | <br>According to the text," the flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended." | ||
| + | ***Edited for spacing and capitalization: According to the text, "The flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended." | ||
| + | ***Correct the spacing around quotes. Capitalize the first word of the quote. | ||
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| + | <br>This show why the fern sang a song to the flax. | ||
| + | ***Edited for plurality: This shows why the fern sang a song to the flax. | ||
| + | ***Change "show" to "shows." | ||
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| + | '''Final Edited Version: | ||
| + | The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he said he was so fine and happiness overpowers me. According to the text, "The flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended." This shows why the fern sang a song to the flax. | ||
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| + | ***Next time, please use shorter quotes and write more in your own words. Please work on quotation mark spaces and making your sentences clearer. | ||
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| + | Edited by Ashley Leung | ||
Revision as of 05:35, 15 May 2020
Pala's Writing Page
The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he says I am so fine and my happiness overpowers me. According to the text," the flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended." This show why the fern sang a song to the flax.
The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he says I am so fine and my happiness overpowers me.
- Edited for tense and pronoun: The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he said he was so fine and happiness overpowers me.
- This sentence is kind of unclear (I'm not sure what you mean"). Use past tense. Replace "I" with "he" (only use "I" in quotes when it's actually what he said).
According to the text," the flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended."
- Edited for spacing and capitalization: According to the text, "The flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended."
- Correct the spacing around quotes. Capitalize the first word of the quote.
This show why the fern sang a song to the flax.
- Edited for plurality: This shows why the fern sang a song to the flax.
- Change "show" to "shows."
Final Edited Version:
The fern sang the song because the fern heard the flax when he said he was so fine and happiness overpowers me. According to the text, "The flax said I am so perfect, people say I look exceedingly well. then the fern said but you do not know the world as much as I do and start singing Snip, Snap, snurre, Basse lurre then the song ended." This shows why the fern sang a song to the flax.
- Next time, please use shorter quotes and write more in your own words. Please work on quotation mark spaces and making your sentences clearer.
Edited by Ashley Leung
