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| | '''Meku's Writing Page''' | | '''Meku's Writing Page''' |
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| − | The snails acting like humans because the white snails adopted a common snail. This is because the white snails are old and don't have a child of there own. Also the white snails are the last of there kind in the place they are living in. Humans also adopt children.
| + | The second boy is good at art he loves the meadow of flowers. The third boy is a great musical composer. |
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| − | The snails acting like humans because the white snails adopted a common snail.
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| − | ***Edited for grammar, fluidity, and clarity: The white snails act like humans because they adopted a common snail.
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| − | ***First specify that the snails are "white snails." Replace "acting" with "act" (either use "are acting" or "act).
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| − | <br>This is because the white snails are old and don't have a child of there own.
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| − | ***Edited for spelling: This is because the white snails are old and don't have a child of their own.
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| − | ***Used the wrong "there/their." It should be possessive ("their").
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| − | <br>Also the white snails are the last of there kind in the place they are living in.
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| − | ***Edited for spelling and comma: Also, the white snails are the last of their kind in the place they are living in.
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| − | ***Again, misspelled "their." Comma after "also."
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| − | <br>Humans also adopt children.
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| − | ***Edited for clarity: Similar to snails, humans also adopt children.
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| − | ***This sentence by itself seems a bit bland and random. You want to connect it with the previous sentences.
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| − | '''Final Edited Version:
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| − | The white snails act like humans because they adopted a common snail. This is because the white snails are old and don't have a child of their own. Also, the white snails are the last of their kind in the place they are living in. Similar to snails, humans also adopt children.
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| − | ***Overall, good job. Please work on differentiating "there" and "their."
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| − | Edited by Ashley Leung
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The second boy is good at art he loves the meadow of flowers. The third boy is a great musical composer.
