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  I can help improve the earth is by using a reusable bag instead of plastic bags.  I could also try not to waste electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room.  I could save water by turning off the water when I am brushing my teeth.  The article says 15 billion trees are cut down every year so I could plant trees.  I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the Neboirhood.  These are some ways I can help improve the earth.
 
  I can help improve the earth is by using a reusable bag instead of plastic bags.  I could also try not to waste electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room.  I could save water by turning off the water when I am brushing my teeth.  The article says 15 billion trees are cut down every year so I could plant trees.  I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the Neboirhood.  These are some ways I can help improve the earth.
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I can help improve the earth is by using a reusable bag instead of plastic bags.
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***Good!
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<br> I could also try not to waste electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room.
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***Edited for fluidity and vocabulary: I could also conserve electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room.
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***You can use "conserve" instead of "try not to waste." More concise.
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<br>I could save water by turning off the water when I am brushing my teeth.
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***Good!
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<br>The article says 15 billion trees are cut down every year so I could plant trees.
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***Edited for clarity and comma: According to the article, 15 billion trees are cut down every year, so I could help plant trees.
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***If you aren't quoting directly, then avoid using "say." Comma before "so" since the following phrase is an independent clause.
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<br>I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the Neboirhood.
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***Edited for spelling: I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the neighborhood.
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***Neighborhood is misspelled.
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<br>These are some ways I can help improve the earth.
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***Good!
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'''Final Edited Version:
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I can help improve the earth is by using a reusable bag instead of plastic bags. I could also conserve electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room. I could save water by turning off the water when I am brushing my teeth. According to the article, 15 billion trees are cut down every year, so I could help plant trees. I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the neighborhood. These are some ways I can help improve the earth.
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***Overall, good job! Please work on your commas and spelling!
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Edited by Ashley Leung

Revision as of 07:12, 23 April 2020

Meku's Writing Page 

I can help improve the earth is by using a reusable bag instead of plastic bags.  I could also try not to waste electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room.  I could save water by turning off the water when I am brushing my teeth.  The article says 15 billion trees are cut down every year so I could plant trees.  I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the Neboirhood.  These are some ways I can help improve the earth.


I can help improve the earth is by using a reusable bag instead of plastic bags.

      • Good!


I could also try not to waste electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room.

      • Edited for fluidity and vocabulary: I could also conserve electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room.
      • You can use "conserve" instead of "try not to waste." More concise.


I could save water by turning off the water when I am brushing my teeth.

      • Good!


The article says 15 billion trees are cut down every year so I could plant trees.

      • Edited for clarity and comma: According to the article, 15 billion trees are cut down every year, so I could help plant trees.
      • If you aren't quoting directly, then avoid using "say." Comma before "so" since the following phrase is an independent clause.


I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the Neboirhood.

      • Edited for spelling: I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the neighborhood.
      • Neighborhood is misspelled.


These are some ways I can help improve the earth.

      • Good!


Final Edited Version: I can help improve the earth is by using a reusable bag instead of plastic bags. I could also conserve electricity by turning off the lights when no one is in the room. I could save water by turning off the water when I am brushing my teeth. According to the article, 15 billion trees are cut down every year, so I could help plant trees. I could also ask my family members to help me plant trees and clean the neighborhood. These are some ways I can help improve the earth.

      • Overall, good job! Please work on your commas and spelling!

Edited by Ashley Leung