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The birds are migrating south for many reasons. According to the text" birds are anxious to breeding grounds to begin mating." Also according to the text "in spring males have on their plumage to attract mates. These are the reasons why the birds are migrating south and my text evidence to prove my details. birds are usually are migrating a lot in my opinion because different birds are moving different directions in different times this is my reasons why birds move south and my opinion on  that.
 
The birds are migrating south for many reasons. According to the text" birds are anxious to breeding grounds to begin mating." Also according to the text "in spring males have on their plumage to attract mates. These are the reasons why the birds are migrating south and my text evidence to prove my details. birds are usually are migrating a lot in my opinion because different birds are moving different directions in different times this is my reasons why birds move south and my opinion on  that.
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'''Original Version:'''
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The birds are migrating south for many reasons. According to the text" birds are anxious to breeding grounds to begin mating." Also according to the text "in spring males have on their plumage to attract mates. These are the reasons why the birds are migrating south and my text evidence to prove my details. birds are usually are migrating a lot in my opinion because different birds are moving different directions in different times this is my reasons why birds move south and my opinion on that.
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'''Corrections:'''
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Birds are migrating south for many reasons.
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***Good! I just eliminated the definite article "the," as you are not talking about a specific type of bird.
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According to the text, "birds are anxious to reach their breeding grounds and begin mating."
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***Make sure when you use the same words as the text when you are using a direct quote. I added words to complete the quotation. If this was meant to be paraphrased, then exact words are not necessary, but make sure the sentence makes sense if you decide to reword the sentence. Also, make sure to use quotation marks at the beginning and end of the quote.
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Also, the text states that "during the spring, the males have on their beautiful plumage to attract mates.”
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***This sentence was edited for the same reasons as the previous sentence. I also reworded the beginning, as you used “according to” before. Using a different word will give your paragraph more variation.
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The evidence shows why the birds are migrating south. Birds are usually migrating a lot because different birds move in different directions and times.
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***Both of these sentences were a bit repetitive, so I reworded them to improve the grammar and make the conclusion more effective.
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Great work! Make sure to integrate quotations correctly, and to use a variety of word choice.
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'''Final Version:'''
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Birds are migrating south for many reasons. According to the text, "birds are anxious to reach their breeding grounds and begin mating." Also, the text states that "during the spring, the males have on their beautiful plumage to attract mates.” The evidence shows why the birds are migrating south. Birds are usually migrating a lot because different birds move in different directions and times.
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Edited by Hayley Taylor
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Source: https://www.tweentribune.com/article/tween56/get-out-your-binocularsbirds-are-making-their-annual-trek-north/
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Revision as of 15:37, 11 April 2020

April 7,2020

The birds are migrating south for many reasons. According to the text" birds are anxious to breeding grounds to begin mating." Also according to the text "in spring males have on their plumage to attract mates. These are the reasons why the birds are migrating south and my text evidence to prove my details. birds are usually are migrating a lot in my opinion because different birds are moving different directions in different times this is my reasons why birds move south and my opinion on that.


Original Version:

The birds are migrating south for many reasons. According to the text" birds are anxious to breeding grounds to begin mating." Also according to the text "in spring males have on their plumage to attract mates. These are the reasons why the birds are migrating south and my text evidence to prove my details. birds are usually are migrating a lot in my opinion because different birds are moving different directions in different times this is my reasons why birds move south and my opinion on that.

Corrections:

Birds are migrating south for many reasons.

      • Good! I just eliminated the definite article "the," as you are not talking about a specific type of bird.


According to the text, "birds are anxious to reach their breeding grounds and begin mating."

      • Make sure when you use the same words as the text when you are using a direct quote. I added words to complete the quotation. If this was meant to be paraphrased, then exact words are not necessary, but make sure the sentence makes sense if you decide to reword the sentence. Also, make sure to use quotation marks at the beginning and end of the quote.


Also, the text states that "during the spring, the males have on their beautiful plumage to attract mates.”


      • This sentence was edited for the same reasons as the previous sentence. I also reworded the beginning, as you used “according to” before. Using a different word will give your paragraph more variation.


The evidence shows why the birds are migrating south. Birds are usually migrating a lot because different birds move in different directions and times.

      • Both of these sentences were a bit repetitive, so I reworded them to improve the grammar and make the conclusion more effective.


Great work! Make sure to integrate quotations correctly, and to use a variety of word choice.

Final Version: Birds are migrating south for many reasons. According to the text, "birds are anxious to reach their breeding grounds and begin mating." Also, the text states that "during the spring, the males have on their beautiful plumage to attract mates.” The evidence shows why the birds are migrating south. Birds are usually migrating a lot because different birds move in different directions and times.

Edited by Hayley Taylor

Source: https://www.tweentribune.com/article/tween56/get-out-your-binocularsbirds-are-making-their-annual-trek-north/