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There are positive and negative effects about social distancing.The positive effects about social distancing is that you stop the increasing amount of people having the corona virus.It states, "the positive effects is "to limit the corona virus" health experts say to "practice social distancing".This shows how practicing social distancing can be positive and protect us from being close to each one another,so the corona virus doesn't spread to other people.But the negative part of practicing social distancing is that people will have a hard time staying distant from close family members and friends,it can not only effect the adults, but the kids too because kids have friends that they will miss.Another statement from the text is "learning from home instead of school" and "canceling playdates and sports events".Based on this i can conclude that social distancing has a negative and positive effects. | There are positive and negative effects about social distancing.The positive effects about social distancing is that you stop the increasing amount of people having the corona virus.It states, "the positive effects is "to limit the corona virus" health experts say to "practice social distancing".This shows how practicing social distancing can be positive and protect us from being close to each one another,so the corona virus doesn't spread to other people.But the negative part of practicing social distancing is that people will have a hard time staying distant from close family members and friends,it can not only effect the adults, but the kids too because kids have friends that they will miss.Another statement from the text is "learning from home instead of school" and "canceling playdates and sports events".Based on this i can conclude that social distancing has a negative and positive effects. | ||
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| + | '''Original version:''' There are positive and negative effects about social distancing.The positive effects about social distancing is that you stop the increasing amount of people having the corona virus.It states, "the positive effects is "to limit the corona virus" health experts say to "practice social distancing".This shows how practicing social distancing can be positive and protect us from being close to each one another,so the corona virus doesn't spread to other people.But the negative part of practicing social distancing is that people will have a hard time staying distant from close family members and friends,it can not only effect the adults, but the kids too because kids have friends that they will miss.Another statement from the text is "learning from home instead of school" and "canceling playdates and sports events".Based on this i can conclude that social distancing has a negative and positive effects. | ||
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| + | '''Corrections:''' | ||
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| + | There are positive and negatives effects of social distancing. | ||
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| + | ***I removed the extra space before “there.” I also replaced “about” with “of” as it is a more correct preposition to use in this sentence. | ||
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| + | One positive effect of social distancing is the prevention of increasing the number of people having the coronavirus. | ||
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| + | *** I changed the phrasing of the sentence for grammar. I also added a space after the period at the beginning of the sentence. I changed words in the sentence to improve the word choice. Coronavirus is one word. I replaced “amount” with “number” as “people” is a countable noun that needs a countable quantifier. | ||
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| + | TIME writer, Josiah Bates, states that “To limit the spread of the coronavirus that causes COVID-19, health experts say people should practice social distancing to limit the spread of the coronavirus.” | ||
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| + | ***When you are quoting another source, make sure to add their name before the quotation. Also, I added the full quotation, as yours was broken up which made the quote incomplete. | ||
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| + | This quote shows how practicing social distancing can be a positive thing and protect us from being close to each one another, so the coronavirus doesn't spread to other people. | ||
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| + | ***I removed the extra space added at the beginning of the sentence. I added the word quote after “this” to make what you are referring to more specific to the reader, as well as added “thing” after “positive” to improve the grammar of the sentence. I also added a space after the comma as it is needed. Coronavirus should also be one word. | ||
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| + | But the negative part of practicing social distancing is that people will have a hard time staying distant from close family members and friends. It not only affects the adults but kids too because kids have friends that they will miss. | ||
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| + | ***I split up the sentence into two to correct the grammar. It should be “affect” instead of “effect,” as you are speaking of the coronavirus impacting something instead of being the result. I also rephrased the beginning of the second sentence to make it grammatically correct. | ||
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| + | Josiah Bates also states that "learning from home instead of school" and "canceling playdates and sports events” will be difficult. In conclusion, social distancing has negative and positive effects. | ||
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| + | ***Instead of saying “text” use the writers name to be more specific. I added “will be difficult” at the end of the sentence to make it complete. I deleted “I” to make the sentence into the third person. I also eliminated “a” because you are speaking about multiple things and not just one. | ||
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| + | Overall, great work! Just remember to write in the third person and to make sure the spacing before and after periods is correct. | ||
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| + | Edited by Hayley Taylor | ||
Revision as of 17:19, 7 April 2020
Phwa's Writing Page
There are positive and negative effects about social distancing.The positive effects about social distancing is that you stop the increasing amount of people having the corona virus.It states, "the positive effects is "to limit the corona virus" health experts say to "practice social distancing".This shows how practicing social distancing can be positive and protect us from being close to each one another,so the corona virus doesn't spread to other people.But the negative part of practicing social distancing is that people will have a hard time staying distant from close family members and friends,it can not only effect the adults, but the kids too because kids have friends that they will miss.Another statement from the text is "learning from home instead of school" and "canceling playdates and sports events".Based on this i can conclude that social distancing has a negative and positive effects.
Original version: There are positive and negative effects about social distancing.The positive effects about social distancing is that you stop the increasing amount of people having the corona virus.It states, "the positive effects is "to limit the corona virus" health experts say to "practice social distancing".This shows how practicing social distancing can be positive and protect us from being close to each one another,so the corona virus doesn't spread to other people.But the negative part of practicing social distancing is that people will have a hard time staying distant from close family members and friends,it can not only effect the adults, but the kids too because kids have friends that they will miss.Another statement from the text is "learning from home instead of school" and "canceling playdates and sports events".Based on this i can conclude that social distancing has a negative and positive effects.
Corrections:
There are positive and negatives effects of social distancing.
- I removed the extra space before “there.” I also replaced “about” with “of” as it is a more correct preposition to use in this sentence.
One positive effect of social distancing is the prevention of increasing the number of people having the coronavirus.
- I changed the phrasing of the sentence for grammar. I also added a space after the period at the beginning of the sentence. I changed words in the sentence to improve the word choice. Coronavirus is one word. I replaced “amount” with “number” as “people” is a countable noun that needs a countable quantifier.
TIME writer, Josiah Bates, states that “To limit the spread of the coronavirus that causes COVID-19, health experts say people should practice social distancing to limit the spread of the coronavirus.”
- When you are quoting another source, make sure to add their name before the quotation. Also, I added the full quotation, as yours was broken up which made the quote incomplete.
This quote shows how practicing social distancing can be a positive thing and protect us from being close to each one another, so the coronavirus doesn't spread to other people.
- I removed the extra space added at the beginning of the sentence. I added the word quote after “this” to make what you are referring to more specific to the reader, as well as added “thing” after “positive” to improve the grammar of the sentence. I also added a space after the comma as it is needed. Coronavirus should also be one word.
But the negative part of practicing social distancing is that people will have a hard time staying distant from close family members and friends. It not only affects the adults but kids too because kids have friends that they will miss.
- I split up the sentence into two to correct the grammar. It should be “affect” instead of “effect,” as you are speaking of the coronavirus impacting something instead of being the result. I also rephrased the beginning of the second sentence to make it grammatically correct.
Josiah Bates also states that "learning from home instead of school" and "canceling playdates and sports events” will be difficult. In conclusion, social distancing has negative and positive effects.
- Instead of saying “text” use the writers name to be more specific. I added “will be difficult” at the end of the sentence to make it complete. I deleted “I” to make the sentence into the third person. I also eliminated “a” because you are speaking about multiple things and not just one.
Overall, great work! Just remember to write in the third person and to make sure the spacing before and after periods is correct.
Edited by Hayley Taylor
