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| − | | + | The positive reason for social distancing is so the virus that is called COVID-19 does not spread and infect other people. |
| − | JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series. This means that JK Rowling has let her book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" be added to Audible's library of free books. Also she announced relaxing copyright permissions around the "Harry Potter" series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading aloud from the books for their students.
| + | The negative reason for social distancing is the fact that we are not allowed to go out and some businesses have to close down and their employees lose their jobs and have no money to bye food and children do not get exorcise and become obese. |
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| − | JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series.
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| − | ***Edited for spelling: J.K. Rowling
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| − | ***Other than the spelling (the correct way to spell her name is J.K. Rowling), the rest of the sentence is well written!
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| − | <br>This means that JK Rowling has let her book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" be added to Audible's library of free books.
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| − | ***Edited for spelling, title format, and fluidity: She added her book ''Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'' to Audible's library of free books.
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| − | ***You don't need "this means that" because it's already clear. Try to write in an active voice, so just directly write "she added her book..." Also, books should be written either italicized or underlined (not in quotes-- that's only for poems, articles, etc...).
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| − | <br>Also she announced relaxing copyright permissions around the "Harry Potter" series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading aloud from the books for their students.
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| − | ***Edited for fluidity, title format, and vocabulary: She also relaxed copyright permissions around the ''Harry Potter'' series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading the books aloud to their students.
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| − | ***Whenever you use "also" at the beginning of a sentence, make sure to add a comma to it. It would sound smoother if you say "she also..." You don't have to mention that she announced it, just directly write that she relaxed the permissions. Once again, the novel series should be written with italics. It would be more accurate to write "aloud to their students" rather than "for their students" since you read a book ''to'' someone, not for them.
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| − | '''Final Edited Version:'''
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| − | J.K. Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series. She added her book ''Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'' to Audible's library of free books. She also relaxed copyright permissions around the ''Harry Potter'' series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading the books aloud to their students.
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| − | ***Please work on writing more concisely and in an active voice. Also make sure to include a concluding sentence next time. Overall, well written. Good job!
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| − | Edited by Ashley Leung
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The positive reason for social distancing is so the virus that is called COVID-19 does not spread and infect other people.
The negative reason for social distancing is the fact that we are not allowed to go out and some businesses have to close down and their employees lose their jobs and have no money to bye food and children do not get exorcise and become obese.