The World for Freedom

Revision as of 07:05, 28 March 2020

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This is the Practice page for you to make sure you know how to make sure your edits save and how to format certain sentences.

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------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sea Turtles Might Be Eating Old Plastic Because It Smells Like Shrimp

• • • Edited: Sea Turtles Eat Old Plastic Because of Its Scent
    • I noticed that your title is very similar to the article’s title. Make sure you write your own title (not a copy of another title).

When ever. you throw out plastic things, it always ends up in the ocean where there are animals living there such as sea turtles . And when you throw away plastic, this can kill many animals such as sea turtles ,

• • • Edited for punctuation, spelling, grammar, and fluidity: Whenever you throw away plastic material, it usually ends up in the ocean, killing many residing animals like sea turtles.
    • “When ever” is spelled as one word. Also be mindful of where you place your period. Replace “plastic things” with “plastic material” since the word “things” isn’t very formal. You want to specify that it is the plastic material that is harmful to sea animals. Replace “it always ends up” with “it usually ends up.” It would be inaccurate to declare that all plastic ends up in the ocean (some don’t). Combine these two sentences. Since the second sentence repeats “when you throw away plastic,” you can simply take out that part and add on to the previous sentence. Also, make sure to avoid starting sentences with “and.”

you might not know this but the plastic that goes into the water andgets colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, so when it does get colonized by bacteria and small invertebrate, it starts to smell like sea food or shrimp.

• • • Edited for punctuation, grammar, spelling and fluidity: An unfamiliar fact is that the plastic in the ocean is colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, which causes it to smell like seafood or shrimp.
    • Replace “you might not know this” with “an unfamiliar fact.” It’s best not to directly call out the audience/reader. Replace “plastic that goes into the water” with “plastic in the ocean.” This is more concise. Replace “andgets colonized by” with “is colonized by.” You don’t need the “and” to connect how the plastic gets colonized. Also, make sure to add spacing in between two words. “Is” would be a simple alternative to “gets.” Combine the two sentences by adding “which causes it to smell like…” The first half of the second sentence (“So when it does get colonized by bacteria and small invertebrate”) is repetitive. Also, make “invertebrate” plural since it describes multiple types of it. “Sea food” should be spelled as one word.

This sent is the reason why turtles are eating plastic ,

• • • Edited for fluidity and punctuation: This is the reason that sea turtles are eating plastic.
    • Delete “sent.” I’m assuming that this is supposed to be “then,” but its unnecessary either way. Replace “reason why” with “reason that.” You don’t need to use the word “why” after “reason” since it is redundant. Replace “turtles” with “sea turtles” to specify what type of turtles you’re talking about. This also connects back to your title. Replace the comma at the end with a period.

plastics ,as you know has a harmful chemicals, and when the turtles consume it , it can kill them.

• • • Edited for punctuation and fluidity: Plastic contains harmful chemicals that can kill sea turtles when they consume it.
    • Take out “as you know” since it is unnecessary to assume what the reader knows. Replace “has a harmful chemicals” with “contains harmful chemicals.” “Contains” is a better word choice. There is no need for the word “and” to connect the two parts. You can write, “that can kill sea turtles when they consume it.” This allows you to minimalize the usage of commas and conjunctions.

It's not only plastic bottles but also plastic bag, the reason I mentioned it was also plastic bags is because plastic bags look like jelly fish when in water.

• • • Edited for clarity and fluidity and grammar: Specifically, plastic bags can be even more dangerous since they look like jellyfish in the water.
    • You don’t need to add the part about plastic bottles since you’ve never mentioned it before. You can directly make the point about the plastic bags. To transition, add the word “specifically.” Add that plastic bags can be “more dangerous.” You should clarify why you’re mentioning plastic bags (why does looking like jellyfish matter?). “Jelly fish” should be spelled as one word.

This is why turtles eats plastics all the time when they see or smell one.

• • • Edited for grammar and fluidity: This is why sea turtles eat plastic when they see or smell it.
    • Specify “sea turtles.” Make “eats” singular. Remember subject-verb agreement → since “turtles” is plural, the verb following it should be singular. Delete “all the time" since it's unnecessary to emphasize that. Replace “one” with “it.” “It” better describes plastic since you aren’t specifying a countable plastic object.

Original:

Sea Turtles Might Be Eating Old Plastic Because It Smells Like Shrimp

When ever. you throw out plastic things, it always ends up in the ocean where there are animals living there such as sea turtles . And when you throw away plastic, this can kill many animals such as sea turtles ,you might not know this but the plastic that goes into the water andgets colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, so when it does get colonized by bacteria and small invertebrate, it starts to smell like sea food or shrimp. This sent is the reason why turtles are eating plastic , plastics ,as you know has a harmful chemicals, and when the turtles consume it , it can kill them. It's not only plastic bottles but also plastic bag, the reason I mentioned it was also plastic bags is because plastic bags look like jelly fish when in water. This is why turtles eats plastics all the time when they see or smell one.

Final Edited Version:

Sea Turtles Eat Old Plastic Because of Its Scent

Whenever you throw away plastic material, it usually ends up in the ocean, killing many residing animals like sea turtles. An unfamiliar fact is that the plastic in the ocean is colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, which causes it to smell like seafood or shrimp. This is the reason that sea turtles are eating plastic. Plastic contains harmful chemicals that can kill sea turtles when they consume it. Specifically, plastic bags can be even more dangerous since they look like jellyfish in the water. This is why sea turtles eat plastic when they see or smell it.

• • • You need to work on using the right punctuation in the correct location. Also avoid repeating information. Some sentences can be combined to be more concise and clear.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/sea-turtles-might-be-eating-plastic-because-after-weeks-ocean-it-smells-shrimp-180974387/

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