Line 8: Line 8:
  
 
'''Edits:'''
 
'''Edits:'''
 +
 +
<br> Animals have been dying less often cause due to the pandemic. Lately there has been a search done showing that there has been a third fewer vehicle crashes due to less driving and going out in the pandemic.
 +
 +
*** Edited for clarity: Due to the pandemic, animals have been dying less because of fewer cars being on the road.
 +
 +
<br> Good! Combine these sentences so the sentence flows better
 +
 +
<br> Before the pandemic there where millions of animals dying to car crashes but since the pandemic, there has been a drop of animal deaths.
 +
 +
*** Edited for punctuation and fluidity: Before the pandemic, there were millions of animals dying from car crashes but since the pandemic there has been a drop of animal deaths.
 +
 +
<br> Good, just add a comma after the word 'pandemic'
 +
 +
<br> A specific animal that has been saved by this pandemic are mountain lions who have lowered by 58% death because of less driving.
 +
 +
*** Edited for fluidity: Mountain lions have been saved tremendously due to less cars being on the road.
 +
 +
<br> Finally it seems like there are a lot of green gasses going into the air while we all drive which is not good.
 +
 +
*** Take this sentence out
 +
 +
<br> This shows how animals have been dying less often due to the pandemic.
 +
 +
*** Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this shows how animals have been dying less due to less cars being on the road because of the pandemic.
 +
 +
 +
 +
 +
'''Final Edit:'''
 +
Due to the pandemic, animals have been dying less because of fewer cars being on the road. Before the pandemic, there were millions of animals dying from car crashes but since the pandemic, there has been a drop of animal deaths. A specific animal that has been saved tremendously are mountain lions due to less cars being on the road. In conclusion, this shows how animals have been dying less due to less cars being on the road because of the pandemic.
 +
 +
Edited by: Kelsey Eggsware

Revision as of 16:22, 23 July 2020

Joshua's Article Summary Page

Original:

Animals like less traffic Animals have been dying less often cause due to the pandemic. Lately there has been a search done showing that there has been a third fewer vehicle crashes due to less driving and going out in the pandemic. Before the pandemic there where millions of animals dying to car crashes but since the pandemic there has been a drop of animal deaths. A specific animal that has been saved by this pandemic are mountain lions who have lowered by 58% death because of less driving. Finally it seems like there are a lot of green gasses going into the air while we all drive which is not good.This shows how animals have been dying less often due to the pandemic. Source:https://youtu.be/pSJXR_1uJKE

Edits:


Animals have been dying less often cause due to the pandemic. Lately there has been a search done showing that there has been a third fewer vehicle crashes due to less driving and going out in the pandemic.

      • Edited for clarity: Due to the pandemic, animals have been dying less because of fewer cars being on the road.


Good! Combine these sentences so the sentence flows better


Before the pandemic there where millions of animals dying to car crashes but since the pandemic, there has been a drop of animal deaths.

      • Edited for punctuation and fluidity: Before the pandemic, there were millions of animals dying from car crashes but since the pandemic there has been a drop of animal deaths.


Good, just add a comma after the word 'pandemic'


A specific animal that has been saved by this pandemic are mountain lions who have lowered by 58% death because of less driving.

      • Edited for fluidity: Mountain lions have been saved tremendously due to less cars being on the road.


Finally it seems like there are a lot of green gasses going into the air while we all drive which is not good.

      • Take this sentence out


This shows how animals have been dying less often due to the pandemic.

      • Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this shows how animals have been dying less due to less cars being on the road because of the pandemic.



Final Edit: Due to the pandemic, animals have been dying less because of fewer cars being on the road. Before the pandemic, there were millions of animals dying from car crashes but since the pandemic, there has been a drop of animal deaths. A specific animal that has been saved tremendously are mountain lions due to less cars being on the road. In conclusion, this shows how animals have been dying less due to less cars being on the road because of the pandemic.

Edited by: Kelsey Eggsware