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| − | Franklin's Writing Page
| + | The traits that Ivan had to allow him to be blessed with luck and wealth were trust and understanding because when Ivan listened and followed the master's advice luck and wealth started to come his way. For example, the article has stated "they took the new road Ivan kept to the old one. And robbers fell upon them before they had gone far from Ivan as they were going by the fields of the houses in the meadow." This quote is proving that Ivan had understood his master's advice and went through the old road and misfortune did not fall upon him but to the ones who had taken the new road. Furthermore, the article has also stated "When they came to the place where they used to lodge, Ivan, said, "I must see the host." "The host," they cried; "what do you want with the host? Here is the hostess, and she's young and pretty...So he went into the kitchen to see the host; he found him a weak old man turning the soup. "Oh! oh!" quoth Ivan, "I'll not lodge here, but will go next door."...they were taken and carried to prison, till at last Ivan came to them. "Alas! alas! Ivan," cried they, "bad luck sticks to us; our host was kidnapped last night, and we shall be imprisoned for it." " This shows that Ivan had also trusted his master because he decided to heed his master's advice and luck was on his side. This shows how the traits Ivan had allowed him to be blessed with luck and wealth. |
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| − | Some accomplishments that William has achieved is raising 55,000 pounds of food and talking people into donating food. According to the article has stated "he talked shoppers into buying food — 1,400 pounds worth — to send home." This quote explains that William accomplished talking people into donating food. Furthermore, the article has also stated " he’s collected more than 55,000 pounds of food, raised $63,000 and been recognized as a Prudential Spirit of Community honoree." This quote is proving that William has accomplished raising 55 pounds of food. These are some accomplishments that William has achieved like raising 55,000 pounds of food and talking to people into donating food.
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| − | Dear. Penny Yagake
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| − | I question why you would edit my work. Is there a purpose to this? Are you doing this out of your own goodwill or were you hired by someone to edit work?
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| − | -Franklin Tjong
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| − | In order to prevent yourself from getting the virus, some ways to protect yourself are to wash your hands for at least 20 seconds and coughing or sneezing into a tissue instead of sneezing in the air. the article states "reducing the spread of viruses. Students and staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds." this is saying that student or others should wash their hands for twenty seconds to keep clean and reduce virus spread. Furthermore, the article states "Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus droplets. This quote is explaining that it is recommended to cough or sneeze in tissues to stay safe. This is how the article proves that there are some ways to protect yourself like washing your hands for 20 seconds and coughing or sneezing into a tissue.
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| − | In order to prevent yourself from getting the virus, some ways to protect yourself are to wash your hands for at least 20 seconds and coughing or sneezing into a tissue instead of sneezing in the air.
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| − | *** Many viruses exist, so state the full name of the virus to tell the reader which one is discussed here. Make sure the verb forms are consistent — wash, cough, sneeze. Additionally, use the third person point of view (instead of “I” or “you”). This helps keep the focus on the subject and lets the reader know that this information can apply to anyone.
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| − | Edited sentence: In order to prevent people from getting the coronavirus disease (COVID-19), some ways that people can protect themselves are to wash their hands for at least 20 seconds and cough or sneeze into a tissue instead of in the air.
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| − | the article states "reducing the spread of viruses.
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| − | *** Capitalize the first word in each sentence. This sentence is also incomplete. One way to fix this is to combine this sentence with the next sentence.
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| − | Edited sentence: To reduce the spread of the virus, the article states, “Students and staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.”
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| − | Students and staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds."
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| − | *** Good.
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| − | this is saying that student or others should wash their hands for twenty seconds to keep clean and reduce virus spread.
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| − | *** Capitalize the first word in each sentence. “student” should be plural since this sentence is about multiple people.
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| − | Edited sentence: This is saying that students or others should wash their hands for twenty seconds to keep clean and reduce the spread of the virus.
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| − | Furthermore, the article states "Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus droplets.
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| − | *** This sentence is good except that the end of this sentence needs a quotation mark since it ends with a quote.
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| − | Edited sentence: Furthermore, the article states, “Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus droplets.”
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| − | This quote is explaining that it is recommended to cough or sneeze in tissues to stay safe.
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| − | *** Good.
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| − | This is how the article proves that there are some ways to protect yourself like washing your hands for 20 seconds and coughing or sneezing into a tissue.
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| − | *** This is good, but remember to avoid using second person (“yourself,” “you”) and use third person instead.
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| − | Edited sentence: This is how the article proves that there are some ways people can protect themselves, like washing their hands for 20 seconds and coughing or sneezing into a tissue.
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| − | Edited paragraph:
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| − | In order to prevent people from getting the coronavirus disease (COVID-19), some ways that people can protect themselves are to wash their hands for at least 20 seconds and cough or sneeze into a tissue instead of in the air. To reduce the spread of the virus, the article states, “Students and staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds.” This is saying that students or others should wash their hands for twenty seconds to keep clean and reduce the spread of the virus. Furthermore, the article states, “Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus droplets.” This quote is explaining that it is recommended to cough or sneeze in tissues to stay safe. This is how the article proves that there are some ways people can protect themselves like washing their hands for 20 seconds and coughing or sneezing into a tissue.
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| − | Original paragraph:
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| − | In order to prevent yourself from getting the virus, some ways to protect yourself are to wash your hands for at least 20 seconds and coughing or sneezing into a tissue instead of sneezing in the air. the article states "reducing the spread of viruses. Students and staff alike should wash with soap and water for at least 20 seconds." this is saying that student or others should wash their hands for twenty seconds to keep clean and reduce virus spread. Furthermore, the article states "Coughing or sneezing into a tissue or the crook of an elbow can help reduce the spread of airborne virus droplets. This quote is explaining that it is recommended to cough or sneeze in tissues to stay safe. This is how the article proves that there are some ways to protect yourself like washing your hands for 20 seconds and coughing or sneezing into a tissue.
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| − | Edited by Penny Yagake
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| − | ----
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| − | Summary # 2
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| − | Someways students can learn best while studying online by removing all distractions and scheduling their plans so they can do online studying. For example, the article has stated "having a dedicated space at home to take online courses can make your learning more effective. Remove any distractions from the space, and if possible" This is stating that to learn you should remove all distractions as possible. Furthermore, the article also stated ". Open your calendar and choose a predictable, reliable time that you can dedicate to watching lectures and completing assignments. This helps ensure that your courses won’t become the last thing on your to-do list. So, schedule time to study on your calendar." This quote is stating that you should make time for online studying. This is someways students can learn best while studying online by removing distractions and scheduling their plans.
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| − | Someways students can learn best while studying online by removing all distractions and scheduling their plans so they can do online studying.
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| − | *** “Someways” should be written as two words — “Some ways.” There should be an “are” before “by.”
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| − | Edited sentence: Some ways students can learn best while studying online are by removing all distractions and scheduling their plans so they can do online studying.
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| − | For example, the article has stated "having a dedicated space at home to take online courses can make your learning more effective. Remove any distractions from the space, and if possible"
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| − | *** At the end of a quote, there should be a period before the quotation marks. The phrase beginning with “and if possible” seems incomplete.
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| − | Edited sentence: For example, the article has stated “having a dedicated space at home to take online courses can make your learning more effective. Remove any distractions from the space, and if possible.”
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| − | This is stating that to learn you should remove all distractions as possible.
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| − | | |
| − | *** This is good, but avoid using second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view. Third person point of view means that you name the person being discussed instead of using “you.”
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| − | Edited sentence: This is stating that to learn, students should remove all distractions as possible.
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| − | Furthermore, the article also stated ". Open your calendar and choose a predictable, reliable time that you can dedicate to watching lectures and completing assignments. This helps ensure that your courses won’t become the last thing on your to-do list. So, schedule time to study on your calendar."
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| − | *** The period and space before “Open” is not needed.
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| − | Edited sentence: Furthermore, the article also stated “Open your calendar and choose a predictable, reliable time that you can dedicate to watching lectures and completing assignments. This helps ensure that your courses won’t become the last thing on your to-do list. So, schedule time to study on your calendar.”
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| − | This quote is stating that you should make time for online studying.
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| − | | |
| − | *** This is good, but avoid using second person point of view (“you”) and use third person point of view instead.
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| − | Edited sentence: This quote is stating that students should make time for online studying.
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| − | This is someways students can learn best while studying online by removing distractions and scheduling their plans.
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| − | | |
| − | *** Again, “Someways” should be written as two words — “Some ways.” Since this sentence is discussing multiple ways students can learn best, the singular verb “is” should be changed to the plural “are.” For the same reason, “This” should be changed to “these.”
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| − | Edited sentence: These are some ways students can learn best while studying online, by removing distractions and scheduling their plans.
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| − | *** Please place new paragraphs at the top of your page, not at the bottom. Use third person point of view for your paragraphs, not second person point of view. Remember that a singular subject needs a singular verb and a plural subject needs a plural verb. Additionally, make sure the quotes are written correctly, with the correct punctuation.
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| − | Edited paragraph:
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| − | Some ways students can learn best while studying online are by removing all distractions and scheduling their plans so they can do online studying. For example, the article has stated “having a dedicated space at home to take online courses can make your learning more effective. Remove any distractions from the space, and if possible.” This is stating that to learn, students should remove all distractions as possible. Furthermore, the article also stated “Open your calendar and choose a predictable, reliable time that you can dedicate to watching lectures and completing assignments. This helps ensure that your courses won’t become the last thing on your to-do list. So, schedule time to study on your calendar.” This quote is stating that students should make time for online studying. These are some ways students can learn best while studying online, by removing distractions and scheduling their plans.
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| − | Original paragraph:
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| − | | |
| − | Someways students can learn best while studying online by removing all distractions and scheduling their plans so they can do online studying. For example, the article has stated "having a dedicated space at home to take online courses can make your learning more effective. Remove any distractions from the space, and if possible" This is stating that to learn you should remove all distractions as possible. Furthermore, the article also stated ". Open your calendar and choose a predictable, reliable time that you can dedicate to watching lectures and completing assignments. This helps ensure that your courses won’t become the last thing on your to-do list. So, schedule time to study on your calendar." This quote is stating that you should make time for online studying. This is someways students can learn best while studying online by removing distractions and scheduling their plans.
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| − | Edited by Penny Yagake
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The traits that Ivan had to allow him to be blessed with luck and wealth were trust and understanding because when Ivan listened and followed the master's advice luck and wealth started to come his way. For example, the article has stated "they took the new road Ivan kept to the old one. And robbers fell upon them before they had gone far from Ivan as they were going by the fields of the houses in the meadow." This quote is proving that Ivan had understood his master's advice and went through the old road and misfortune did not fall upon him but to the ones who had taken the new road. Furthermore, the article has also stated "When they came to the place where they used to lodge, Ivan, said, "I must see the host." "The host," they cried; "what do you want with the host? Here is the hostess, and she's young and pretty...So he went into the kitchen to see the host; he found him a weak old man turning the soup. "Oh! oh!" quoth Ivan, "I'll not lodge here, but will go next door."...they were taken and carried to prison, till at last Ivan came to them. "Alas! alas! Ivan," cried they, "bad luck sticks to us; our host was kidnapped last night, and we shall be imprisoned for it." " This shows that Ivan had also trusted his master because he decided to heed his master's advice and luck was on his side. This shows how the traits Ivan had allowed him to be blessed with luck and wealth.
