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Hi New Editor!
 
Hi New Editor!
  
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Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here:
 
Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here:
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Sea Turtles Might Be Eating Old Plastic Because It Smells Like Shrimp
 
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***Edited: Sea Turtles Eat Old Plastic Because of Its Scent
 
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***I noticed that your title is very similar to the article’s title. Make sure you write your own title (not a copy of another title).
 
  
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When ever. you throw out plastic things, it always ends up in the ocean where there are animals living there  such as sea turtles . And when you throw away plastic,
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Original Text:
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this can kill many animals such as sea turtles ,
 
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***Edited for punctuation, spelling, grammar, and fluidity: Whenever you throw away plastic material, it usually ends up in the ocean, killing many residing animals like sea turtles.
 
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***“When ever” is spelled as one word. Also be mindful of where you place your period. Replace “plastic things” with “plastic material” since the word “things” isn’t very formal. You want to specify that it is the plastic material that is harmful to sea animals. Replace “it always ends up” with “it usually ends up.” It would be inaccurate to declare that all plastic ends up in the ocean (some don’t). Combine these two sentences. Since the second sentence repeats “when you throw away plastic,” you can simply take out that part and add on to the previous sentence. Also, make sure to avoid starting sentences with “and.”
 
 
   
 
   
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you might not know this but the plastic that goes into the water andgets colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates,
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NASA and SpaceX Jointly Launched
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so when it does get colonized by bacteria and small invertebrate, it starts to smell like sea food or shrimp.
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***Edited for punctuation, grammar, spelling and fluidity: An unfamiliar fact is that the plastic in the ocean is colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, which causes it to smell like seafood or shrimp.
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This mission will mark two historic milestones by the chances of favorable weather, which hover around 50%. The space veterans Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley will become the first NASA astronauts to launch from American soil, since the final Space Shuttle flight in 2011. They will also be the first human beings ever to fly to orbit on hardware designed, built, and operated by a private company known as SpaceX. NASA’s astronaut program has also continued since 2011, and the agency has kept the ISS staffed by buying more than 70 rides on the Soyuz spacecraft from the Russian space program—very expensive tickets that have cost the agency a total of around four billion dollars. But over the last decade or so, NASA has also invested at least three billion dollars in SpaceX and worked closely with the company to help it develop a vehicle—the Crew Dragon—capable of bringing astronauts to the space station. Which lead them here to be launching together making it a historical moment.
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***Replace “you might not know this” with “an unfamiliar fact.” It’s best not to directly call out the audience/reader. Replace “plastic that goes into the water” with “plastic in the ocean.” This is more concise. Replace “andgets colonized by” with “is colonized by.” You don’t need the “and” to connect how the plastic gets colonized. Also, make sure to add spacing in between two words. “Is” would be a simple alternative to “gets.” Combine the two sentences by adding “which causes it to smell like…” The first half of the second sentence (“So when it does get colonized by bacteria and small invertebrate”) is repetitive. Also, make “invertebrate” plural since it describes multiple types of it. “Sea food” should be spelled as one word.
 
  
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This sent is the reason why turtles are eating plastic ,
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Edits:
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***Edited for fluidity and punctuation: This is the reason that sea turtles are eating plastic.
 
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***Delete “sent.” I’m assuming that this is supposed to be “then,” but its unnecessary either way. Replace “reason why” with “reason that.” You don’t need to use the word “why” after “reason” since it is redundant. Replace “turtles” with “sea turtles” to specify what type of turtles you’re talking about. This also connects back to your title. Replace the comma at the end with a period.
 
  
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plastics ,as you know has a harmful chemicals, and when the turtles consume it , it can kill them.
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NASA and SpaceX Jointly Launched
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***Edited for punctuation and fluidity: Plastic contains harmful chemicals that can kill sea turtles when they consume it.
 
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***Take out “as you know” since it is unnecessary to assume what the reader knows. Replace “has a harmful chemicals” with “contains harmful chemicals.” “Contains” is a better word choice. There is no need for the word “and” to connect the two parts. You can write, “that can kill sea turtles when they consume it.” This allows you to minimalize the usage of commas and conjunctions.
 
  
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It's not only plastic bottles but also plastic bag, the reason I
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- - - Edited: “NASA and SpaceX Joint Launch” - It is best to keep titles simple! Since this story is written about the launch before it occurred, it's important that the title follows suit and doesn't speak in the past tense.
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mentioned it was also plastic bags is because plastic bags look like jelly fish when in water.
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***Edited for clarity and fluidity and grammar: Specifically, plastic bags can be even more dangerous since they look like jellyfish in the water.
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This mission will mark two historic milestones by the chances of favorable weather, which hover around 50%.
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***You don’t need to add the part about plastic bottles since you’ve never mentioned it before. You can directly make the point about the plastic bags. To transition, add the word “specifically.” Add that plastic bags can be “more dangerous.” You should clarify why you’re mentioning plastic bags (why does looking like jellyfish matter?). “Jelly fish” should be spelled as one word.
 
  
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This is why turtles eats plastics all the time when they see or smell one.
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- - - Edited for clarity and necessity: “The NASA and SpaceX mission will mark two historic milestones, weather permitting (the chances of favorable weather hover around 50%).” Clarifying the companies involved in the mission is important in the introduction, even though they were mentioned in the title.
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***Edited for grammar and fluidity: This is why sea turtles eat plastic when they see or smell it.
 
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***Specify “sea turtles.” Make “eats” singular. Remember subject-verb agreement → since “turtles” is plural, the verb following it should be singular. Delete “all the time" since it's unnecessary to emphasize that. Replace “one” with “it.” “It” better describes plastic since you aren’t specifying a countable plastic object.
 
 
   
 
   
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'''Original:'''
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The space veterans Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley will become the first NASA astronauts to launch from American soil since the final Space Shuttle flight in 2011. They will also be the first human beings ever to fly to orbit on hardware designed, built, and operated by a private company known as SpaceX.
  
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Sea Turtles Might Be Eating Old Plastic Because It Smells Like Shrimp
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- - - These sentences are great! Edited: Remove “The” at the beginning. “The space veterans Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley will become the first NASA astronauts to launch from American soil since the final Space Shuttle flight in 2011. They will also be the first human beings ever to fly to orbit on hardware designed, built, and operated by a private company known as SpaceX.”
 
   
 
   
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When ever. you throw out plastic things, it always ends up in the ocean where there are animals living there  such as sea turtles . And when you throw away plastic,
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NASA’s astronaut program has also continued since 2011, and the agency has kept the ISS staffed by buying more than 70 rides on the Soyuz spacecraft from the Russian space program—very expensive tickets that have cost the agency a total of around four billion dollars.
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this can kill many animals such as sea turtles ,you might not know this but the plastic that goes into the water andgets colonized by bacteria and small  invertebrates,
 
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so when it does get colonized by bacteria and small invertebrate, it starts to smell like sea food or shrimp. This sent is the reason why turtles are eating plastic ,
 
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plastics ,as you know has a harmful chemicals, and when the turtles consume it , it can kill them. It's not only plastic bottles but also plastic bag, the reason I
 
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mentioned it was also plastic bags is because plastic bags look like jelly fish when in water. This is why turtles eats plastics all the time when they see or smell one.
 
  
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'''Final Edited Version:'''
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- - - Edited for clarity; replacing “ISS” with “International Space Station” and other minor edits: “NASA’s astronaut program has continued since 2011. The agency has kept the International Space Station staffed by purchasing over 70 rides on the Soyuz spacecraft from the Russian space program—very expensive tickets that have cost the agency a total of approximately four billion dollars.” Replacing acronyms with what they actually stand for is important when you first mention something. Imagine that your audience has no idea what the ISS is!
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But over the last decade or so, NASA has also invested at least three billion dollars in SpaceX and worked closely with the company to help it develop a vehicle—the Crew Dragon—capable of bringing astronauts to the space station. Which led them here to be launching together making it a historical moment.
  
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Sea Turtles Eat Old Plastic Because of Its Scent
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- - - Edited: Replacing “But” with “However” to start a sentence, and combining the final two sentences, along with minor grammatical edits: “However, over the last decade or so, NASA has also invested at least three billion dollars in SpaceX and worked closely with the company to help it develop a vehicle—the Crew Dragon—capable of bringing astronauts to the space station, which led them here to be launching together, making it a historical moment.”  Using "However," is a much better choice to start a sentence than "But". "But" is more often used in the middle of a sentence!
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Edited Paragraph:
 
   
 
   
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Whenever you throw away plastic material, it usually ends up in the ocean, killing many residing animals like sea turtles. An unfamiliar fact is that the plastic in the ocean is colonized by bacteria and small invertebrates, which causes it to smell like seafood or shrimp. This is the reason that sea turtles are eating plastic. Plastic contains harmful chemicals that can kill sea turtles when they consume it.  Specifically, plastic bags can be even more dangerous since they look like jellyfish in the water. This is why sea turtles eat plastic when they see or smell it.
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NASA and SpaceX Joint Launch
 
   
 
   
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***You need to work on using the right punctuation in the correct location. Also avoid repeating information. Some sentences can be combined to be more concise and clear.
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The NASA and SpaceX mission will mark two historic milestones, weather permitting (the chances of favorable weather hover around 50%). Space veterans Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley will become the first NASA astronauts to launch from American soil since the final Space Shuttle flight in 2011. They will also be the first human beings ever to fly to orbit on hardware designed, built, and operated by a private company known as SpaceX. NASA’s astronaut program has continued since 2011. The agency has kept the International Space Station staffed by purchasing over 70 rides on the Soyuz spacecraft from the Russian space program—very expensive tickets that have cost the agency a total of approximately four billion dollars. However, over the last decade or so, NASA has also invested at least three billion dollars in SpaceX and worked closely with the company to help it develop a vehicle—the Crew Dragon—capable of bringing astronauts to the space station, which led them here to be launching together, making it a historical moment.
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Final Comments: Great job overall! Most of the editing needed was for clarity and minor grammatical errors.
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Original Text
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Mrs Bhaer is thoughtful person. The text it states, "There is a place already for you, my son; sit down and dry your wet feet at once." Also in text, it states, “And try to get rid of that ugly cough. How long have you had it deer.”  This conveys that she is thoughtful cause she cares about him being sick. In short, this is how come Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful.
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Corrections
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''' Mrs. ''' Bhaer is ''' a ''' thoughtful person.
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      Remember to put a period in “Mrs.” because it is an abbreviation of the word missus. You did this in your last sentence and it was correct! Also, remember to put the article “a” before “thoughtful person.”
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''' In the text, she says, ''' “’There is a place already for you, my son; sit down and dry your wet feet at once.’” Also in the text, she says, “‘And try to get rid of that ugly cough. How long have you had it ''' dear?’” '''
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      You are right that the text states the quote you chose. However, because you are using the quote to show how Mrs. Bhaer is a thoughtful person, I edited both sentences to include that “she says.” Also, because the quotes you chose already have quotation marks in the text, I edited your paragraph to have another set of single quotation marks (‘ ‘). Lastly, make sure to check that you have copied the text exactly. You had “deer” instead of “dear” and a period instead of a question mark.
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This conveys that she is thoughtful ''' because ''' she cares about him being sick.
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      “Cause” is a slang word that is short for “because.” You should use the full word “because” here, because you are writing a formal paragraph. Also, I didn’t make this change, because I am not sure who Mrs. Bhaer is speaking to, but if you know the name of the “him,” then you should use his name instead of “him.”
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In short, this is ''' why ''' Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful.
  
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https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/sea-turtles-might-be-eating-plastic-because-after-weeks-ocean-it-smells-shrimp-180974387/
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      I included “why” instead of “how come” because “why” is more formal.
  
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Final Draft
  
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Mrs. Bhaer is a thoughtful person. In the text, she says, “’There is a place already for you, my son; sit down and dry your wet feet at once.’” Also in the text, she says, “‘And try to get rid of that ugly cough. How long have you had it dear?’”  This conveys that she is thoughtful because she cares about him being sick. In short, this is why Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful.
  
  
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You used a great quote to support your claim that Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful! Just make sure to watch your punctuation and use formal words when writing. Good job!
  
  
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<br>Now, if you want to separate any of the sentences, simply add <code><nowiki>'''</nowiki></code> to the beginning of the sentence you want to be separated from another sentence.
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<br>Now, if you want to separate any of the sentences, simply add <code><nowiki><br></nowiki></code> to the beginning of the sentence you want to be separated from another sentence.
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<br>If you want to separate any of the sentences, simply add <code><nowiki><br><br></nowiki></code> to the beginning of the sentence you want to be separated from another sentence.
 
<br>If you want to bold any of the text, add three apostrophes to the front of the text you want bolded and three apostrophes to the end of the text you want bolded, like this <code><nowiki>'''</nowiki></code>'''Billy'''<code><nowiki>'''</nowiki></code>
 
<br>If you want to bold any of the text, add three apostrophes to the front of the text you want bolded and three apostrophes to the end of the text you want bolded, like this <code><nowiki>'''</nowiki></code>'''Billy'''<code><nowiki>'''</nowiki></code>
 
<br>Lastly, do not forget to save your changes or none of the edits will remain. Look below this text entry box. You'll see a blue button that says, "Save Changes". Click that and all your work will be saved!
 
<br>Lastly, do not forget to save your changes or none of the edits will remain. Look below this text entry box. You'll see a blue button that says, "Save Changes". Click that and all your work will be saved!

Latest revision as of 16:31, 4 June 2020

Hi New Editor!

This is the Practice page for you to make sure you know how to make sure your edits save and how to format certain sentences.

Let's add all of your work here. First, click "edit" in the orange navigation box to the far right. Then copy and paste the edit that you completed here:
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Original Text:

NASA and SpaceX Jointly Launched

This mission will mark two historic milestones by the chances of favorable weather, which hover around 50%. The space veterans Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley will become the first NASA astronauts to launch from American soil, since the final Space Shuttle flight in 2011. They will also be the first human beings ever to fly to orbit on hardware designed, built, and operated by a private company known as SpaceX. NASA’s astronaut program has also continued since 2011, and the agency has kept the ISS staffed by buying more than 70 rides on the Soyuz spacecraft from the Russian space program—very expensive tickets that have cost the agency a total of around four billion dollars. But over the last decade or so, NASA has also invested at least three billion dollars in SpaceX and worked closely with the company to help it develop a vehicle—the Crew Dragon—capable of bringing astronauts to the space station. Which lead them here to be launching together making it a historical moment.

Edits:

NASA and SpaceX Jointly Launched

- - - Edited: “NASA and SpaceX Joint Launch” - It is best to keep titles simple! Since this story is written about the launch before it occurred, it's important that the title follows suit and doesn't speak in the past tense.

This mission will mark two historic milestones by the chances of favorable weather, which hover around 50%.

- - - Edited for clarity and necessity: “The NASA and SpaceX mission will mark two historic milestones, weather permitting (the chances of favorable weather hover around 50%).” Clarifying the companies involved in the mission is important in the introduction, even though they were mentioned in the title.

The space veterans Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley will become the first NASA astronauts to launch from American soil since the final Space Shuttle flight in 2011. They will also be the first human beings ever to fly to orbit on hardware designed, built, and operated by a private company known as SpaceX.

- - - These sentences are great! Edited: Remove “The” at the beginning. “The space veterans Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley will become the first NASA astronauts to launch from American soil since the final Space Shuttle flight in 2011. They will also be the first human beings ever to fly to orbit on hardware designed, built, and operated by a private company known as SpaceX.”

NASA’s astronaut program has also continued since 2011, and the agency has kept the ISS staffed by buying more than 70 rides on the Soyuz spacecraft from the Russian space program—very expensive tickets that have cost the agency a total of around four billion dollars.

- - - Edited for clarity; replacing “ISS” with “International Space Station” and other minor edits: “NASA’s astronaut program has continued since 2011. The agency has kept the International Space Station staffed by purchasing over 70 rides on the Soyuz spacecraft from the Russian space program—very expensive tickets that have cost the agency a total of approximately four billion dollars.” Replacing acronyms with what they actually stand for is important when you first mention something. Imagine that your audience has no idea what the ISS is!

But over the last decade or so, NASA has also invested at least three billion dollars in SpaceX and worked closely with the company to help it develop a vehicle—the Crew Dragon—capable of bringing astronauts to the space station. Which led them here to be launching together making it a historical moment.

- - - Edited: Replacing “But” with “However” to start a sentence, and combining the final two sentences, along with minor grammatical edits: “However, over the last decade or so, NASA has also invested at least three billion dollars in SpaceX and worked closely with the company to help it develop a vehicle—the Crew Dragon—capable of bringing astronauts to the space station, which led them here to be launching together, making it a historical moment.” Using "However," is a much better choice to start a sentence than "But". "But" is more often used in the middle of a sentence!

Edited Paragraph:

NASA and SpaceX Joint Launch

The NASA and SpaceX mission will mark two historic milestones, weather permitting (the chances of favorable weather hover around 50%). Space veterans Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley will become the first NASA astronauts to launch from American soil since the final Space Shuttle flight in 2011. They will also be the first human beings ever to fly to orbit on hardware designed, built, and operated by a private company known as SpaceX. NASA’s astronaut program has continued since 2011. The agency has kept the International Space Station staffed by purchasing over 70 rides on the Soyuz spacecraft from the Russian space program—very expensive tickets that have cost the agency a total of approximately four billion dollars. However, over the last decade or so, NASA has also invested at least three billion dollars in SpaceX and worked closely with the company to help it develop a vehicle—the Crew Dragon—capable of bringing astronauts to the space station, which led them here to be launching together, making it a historical moment.

Final Comments: Great job overall! Most of the editing needed was for clarity and minor grammatical errors.



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Original Text

Mrs Bhaer is thoughtful person. The text it states, "There is a place already for you, my son; sit down and dry your wet feet at once." Also in text, it states, “And try to get rid of that ugly cough. How long have you had it deer.” This conveys that she is thoughtful cause she cares about him being sick. In short, this is how come Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful.

Corrections

Mrs. Bhaer is a thoughtful person. 

     Remember to put a period in “Mrs.” because it is an abbreviation of the word missus. You did this in your last sentence and it was correct! Also, remember to put the article “a” before “thoughtful person.”

In the text, she says, “’There is a place already for you, my son; sit down and dry your wet feet at once.’” Also in the text, she says, “‘And try to get rid of that ugly cough. How long have you had it dear?’”  

     You are right that the text states the quote you chose. However, because you are using the quote to show how Mrs. Bhaer is a thoughtful person, I edited both sentences to include that “she says.” Also, because the quotes you chose already have quotation marks in the text, I edited your paragraph to have another set of single quotation marks (‘ ‘). Lastly, make sure to check that you have copied the text exactly. You had “deer” instead of “dear” and a period instead of a question mark.

This conveys that she is thoughtful because she cares about him being sick. 

     “Cause” is a slang word that is short for “because.” You should use the full word “because” here, because you are writing a formal paragraph. Also, I didn’t make this change, because I am not sure who Mrs. Bhaer is speaking to, but if you know the name of the “him,” then you should use his name instead of “him.”

In short, this is why Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful. 

     I included “why” instead of “how come” because “why” is more formal.

Final Draft

Mrs. Bhaer is a thoughtful person. In the text, she says, “’There is a place already for you, my son; sit down and dry your wet feet at once.’” Also in the text, she says, “‘And try to get rid of that ugly cough. How long have you had it dear?’”  This conveys that she is thoughtful because she cares about him being sick. In short, this is why Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful.


You used a great quote to support your claim that Mrs. Bhaer is thoughtful! Just make sure to watch your punctuation and use formal words when writing. Good job!





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Now, if you want to separate any of the sentences, simply add <br> to the beginning of the sentence you want to be separated from another sentence.
If you want to separate any of the sentences, simply add <br><br> to the beginning of the sentence you want to be separated from another sentence.
If you want to bold any of the text, add three apostrophes to the front of the text you want bolded and three apostrophes to the end of the text you want bolded, like this '''Billy'''
Lastly, do not forget to save your changes or none of the edits will remain. Look below this text entry box. You'll see a blue button that says, "Save Changes". Click that and all your work will be saved!