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'''Meku's Writing Page'''
 
'''Meku's Writing Page'''
  
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If a person wanted to become an astronaut they would need to have a master's degree in STEM. They also would need work experience especially in flying jets. This year 12,000 people signed up to be an astronaut. 12 out of 12,000 people will be chosen to become an astronaut. The 12 people who have been chosen to become an astronaut will go through two years of training learning Russian to make it easier to work with the Russian astronauts ISS. (International Space Station)
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<br><br>'''Medhir! DO NOT DELETE YOUR WRITINGS!!! YOUR editor doesn't know what to do!'''
  
  
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If a person wanted to become an astronaut they would need to have a master's degree in STEM.
 
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***Edited for grammar (comma): If a person wanted to become an astronaut, they would need to have a master's degree in STEM.
 
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***Comma before "they." Otherwise, good sentence!
 
  
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<br>They also would need work experience especially in flying jets.
 
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***Edited for grammar (comma) and fluidity: They would also need work experience, especially in flying jets.
 
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***"Also" shouldn't go before "would." You can write "they also need work experience," but if you add "would," then "also" goes after it. Comma before "especially."
 
  
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<br>12 out of 12,000 people will be chosen to become an astronaut.
 
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***Good!
 
  
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<br>The 12 people who have been chosen to become an astronaut will go through two years of training learning Russian to make it easier to work with the Russian astronauts ISS. (International Space Station)
 
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***Edited for fluidity and punctuation (period) and tense: The 12 people who are chosen to become an astronaut will go through two years of training and learn Russian to make it easier to work with the Russian International Space Station (ISS).
 
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***"have been" → "are" (this sentence is in a future tense, don't use past tense). Add "and" in between "training" and "learning" since this is a run-on sentence. You should always spell out the acronym first and then put the abbreviation in parentheses. Period goes after the parentheses.
 
  
  
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'''Final Edited Version:'''
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If a person wanted to become an astronaut, they would need to have a master's degree in STEM. They would also need work experience, especially in flying jets. 12 out of 12,000 people will be chosen to become an astronaut. The 12 people who are chosen to become an astronaut will go through two years of training and learn Russian to make it easier to work with the Russian International Space Station (ISS).
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.  I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.  Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.
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***Edited for punctuation: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child”  is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin.
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***Since your sentence does not end with the quote, don't put the period. You can directly remove the comma and period around the quote. Add commas around "the child."
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<br>I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.
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***Edited for punctuation and fludiity: I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play.
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***Add a comma after "violin." Condense some repetitive parts.
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<br>Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Edited for fluidity: After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Replace "a little violin" ith "for a while" (since you're talking about time). Remove "Then."
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'''Final Edited Version:
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child”  is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin. I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play. After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Overall, good job! Please focus on your punctuation (comma/periods).
  
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***Good job on including detailed information! Please work on your commas and avoid run-on sentences.
 
  
 
Edited by Ashley Leung
 
Edited by Ashley Leung

Latest revision as of 05:27, 2 June 2020

Meku's Writing Page



Medhir! DO NOT DELETE YOUR WRITINGS!!! YOUR editor doesn't know what to do! 







What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.  I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.  Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.


What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.” is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.

      • Edited for punctuation: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child” is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin.
      • Since your sentence does not end with the quote, don't put the period. You can directly remove the comma and period around the quote. Add commas around "the child."


I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.

      • Edited for punctuation and fludiity: I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play.
      • Add a comma after "violin." Condense some repetitive parts.


Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.

      • Edited for fluidity: After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
      • Replace "a little violin" ith "for a while" (since you're talking about time). Remove "Then."


Final Edited Version: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child” is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin. I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play. After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.


      • Overall, good job! Please focus on your punctuation (comma/periods).


Edited by Ashley Leung