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Meku's Writing Page
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'''Meku's Writing Page'''
  
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Supermoons are different from the regular moons because it is 7% bigger and 15% brighter.
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<br><br>'''Medhir! DO NOT DELETE YOUR WRITINGS!!! YOUR editor doesn't know what to do!'''
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This is because the orbit of the moon is the shape of an oval.  When the moon is farthest away from the Earth it is approximately 253,000 miles away from Earth.  Also When the moon is closest to the Earth it is usually 226,000 miles close to the Earth.
 
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The reason for supermoons is because of lunar perigee, the moon's closest  point in its orbit around the Earth.
 
  
  
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Supermoons are different from the regular moons because it is 7% bigger and 15% brighter.
 
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***Edited for grammar (plurality, definite article): Supermoons are different from regular moons because they are 7% bigger and 15% brighter.
 
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***No need for "the" before "regular moons." Since "supermoons" is plural, you should use plural "they" to describe them rather than "it."
 
  
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<br>This is because the orbit of the moon is the shape of an oval.
 
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***Edited for clarity and fluidity: The reason for this difference is the oval shape of the moon's orbit.
 
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***It sounds clearer if you clarify that the difference is caused by the oval shape.
 
  
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<br>When the moon is farthest away from the Earth it is approximately 253,000 miles away from Earth.  Also When the moon is closest to the Earth it is usually 226,000 miles close to the Earth.
 
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***Edited for fluidity (combine two sentences) and definite article: The moon is farthest from Earth at approximately 253,000 miles away and closest to Earth at approximately 226,00 miles away.
 
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***You can combine these two sentences and form a more concise one. You don't need "the" before "Earth" because  you capitalized it and it is the official name for our planet (EX. You wouldn't say "the Venus").
 
  
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<br>The reason for supermoons is because of lunar perigee, the moon's closest  point in its orbit around the Earth.
 
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***Edited for clarity and definite article: The reason that supermoons exist is due to lunar perigee, which is the moon's closest point in its orbit around Earth.
 
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***Clarify what you mean by "reason" (reason for what?). Switch "because" to "due to." Again, no "the" needed before "Earth."
 
  
  
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'''Final Edited Version:'''
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Supermoons are different from regular moons because they are 7% bigger and 15% brighter. The reason for this difference is the oval shape of the moon's orbit. The moon is farthest from Earth at approximately 253,000 miles away and closest to Earth at approximately 226,00 miles away. The reason that supermoons exist is due to lunar perigee, which is the moon's closest point in its orbit around Earth.
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.  I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.  Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.
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***Edited for punctuation: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child”  is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin.
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***Since your sentence does not end with the quote, don't put the period. You can directly remove the comma and period around the quote. Add commas around "the child."
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<br>I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.
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***Edited for punctuation and fludiity: I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play.
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***Add a comma after "violin." Condense some repetitive parts.
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<br>Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Edited for fluidity: After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Replace "a little violin" ith "for a while" (since you're talking about time). Remove "Then."
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'''Final Edited Version:
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child”  is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin. I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play. After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Overall, good job! Please focus on your punctuation (comma/periods).
  
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***Please work on your sentence clarity. Also know when to use/not use the definite article ("the"). Please write a bit more in the future as well.
 
  
 
Edited by Ashley Leung
 
Edited by Ashley Leung

Latest revision as of 05:27, 2 June 2020

Meku's Writing Page



Medhir! DO NOT DELETE YOUR WRITINGS!!! YOUR editor doesn't know what to do! 







What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.  I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.  Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.


What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.” is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.

      • Edited for punctuation: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child” is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin.
      • Since your sentence does not end with the quote, don't put the period. You can directly remove the comma and period around the quote. Add commas around "the child."


I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.

      • Edited for punctuation and fludiity: I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play.
      • Add a comma after "violin." Condense some repetitive parts.


Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.

      • Edited for fluidity: After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
      • Replace "a little violin" ith "for a while" (since you're talking about time). Remove "Then."


Final Edited Version: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child” is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin. I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play. After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.


      • Overall, good job! Please focus on your punctuation (comma/periods).


Edited by Ashley Leung