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Meku's Writing Page
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'''Meku's Writing Page'''
  
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The positive reason for social distancing is so the virus that is called COVID-19  does not spread and infect other people.
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<br><br>'''Medhir! DO NOT DELETE YOUR WRITINGS!!! YOUR editor doesn't know what to do!'''
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The negative reason for social distancing is the fact that we are not allowed to go out and some businesses have to close down and their employees lose their jobs and have no money to bye food and children do not get exorcise and become obese.
 
  
  
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The positive reason for social distancing is so the virus that is called COVID-19  does not spread and infect other people.
 
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***Edited for fluidity and clarity: A positive reason for social distancing is that it prevents the virus COVID-19 from spreading and infecting more people.
 
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***"So the virus that is called" is a bit too wordy, so you can just say "the virus COVID-19." Since social distancing is a prevention act, it would be better to include the word "prevent" in the sentence. Since there might be other positive reasons, you can use "a positive reason" rather than "the positive reason."
 
  
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<br>The negative reason for social distancing is the fact that we are not allowed to go out and some businesses have to close down and their employees lose their jobs and have no money to bye food and children do not get exorcise and become obese.
 
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***Edited for fluidity, clarity, grammar (commas) and spelling: Negative effects of social distancing are that we are not allowed to go out, some business have to close down, employees lose their jobs and have no money to buy food, and children do not exercise enough.
 
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***I believe you're talking about the "effects" of social distancing here. Since you listed multiple examples, this is no longer just "the" negative effect-- you would start the sentences with plural "negative effects." The examples you've given are good, but you must use commas to separate them so that it doesn't become a run-on sentence. "Bye" → "buy." "Exorcise" → "exercise." You can delete the "become obese" part because that is a bit extreme (just saying they lack exercise is fine).
 
  
  
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'''Final Edited Version:'''
 
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A positive reason for social distancing is that it prevents the virus COVID-19 from spreading and infecting more people. Negative effects of social distancing are that we are not allowed to go out, some business have to close down, employees lose their jobs and have no money to buy food, and children do not exercise enough.
 
  
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***Overall, good examples. However, I would like you to write at least 6-7 sentences next time. Work on your commas and spelling. Make sure you know the difference between "reason" and "effect."
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.  I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.  Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.
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***Edited for punctuation: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child”  is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin.
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***Since your sentence does not end with the quote, don't put the period. You can directly remove the comma and period around the quote. Add commas around "the child."
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<br>I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.
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***Edited for punctuation and fludiity: I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play.
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***Add a comma after "violin." Condense some repetitive parts.
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<br>Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Edited for fluidity: After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Replace "a little violin" ith "for a while" (since you're talking about time). Remove "Then."
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'''Final Edited Version:
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child”  is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin. I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play. After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Overall, good job! Please focus on your punctuation (comma/periods).
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Edited by Ashley Leung
 
Edited by Ashley Leung

Latest revision as of 05:27, 2 June 2020

Meku's Writing Page



Medhir! DO NOT DELETE YOUR WRITINGS!!! YOUR editor doesn't know what to do! 







What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.  I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.  Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.


What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.” is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.

      • Edited for punctuation: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child” is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin.
      • Since your sentence does not end with the quote, don't put the period. You can directly remove the comma and period around the quote. Add commas around "the child."


I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.

      • Edited for punctuation and fludiity: I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play.
      • Add a comma after "violin." Condense some repetitive parts.


Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.

      • Edited for fluidity: After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
      • Replace "a little violin" ith "for a while" (since you're talking about time). Remove "Then."


Final Edited Version: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child” is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin. I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play. After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.


      • Overall, good job! Please focus on your punctuation (comma/periods).


Edited by Ashley Leung