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Meku's Writing Page
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'''Meku's Writing Page'''
  
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<br><br>'''Medhir! DO NOT DELETE YOUR WRITINGS!!! YOUR editor doesn't know what to do!'''
  
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JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series. This means that JK Rowling has let her book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" be added to Audible's library of free books. Also she announced relaxing copyright permissions around the "Harry Potter" series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading aloud from the books for their students.
 
  
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JK Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series.
 
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***Edited for spelling: J.K. Rowling
 
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***Other than the spelling (the correct way to spell her name is J.K. Rowling), the rest of the sentence is well written!
 
  
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<br>This means that JK Rowling has let her book "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" be added to Audible's library of free books.
 
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***Edited for spelling, title format, and fluidity: She added her book ''Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'' to Audible's library of free books.
 
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***You don't need "this means that" because it's already clear. Try to write in an active voice, so just directly write "she added her book..." Also, books should be written either italicized or underlined (not in quotes-- that's only for poems, articles, etc...).
 
  
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<br>Also she announced relaxing copyright permissions around the "Harry Potter" series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading aloud from the books for their students.
 
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***Edited for fluidity, title format, and vocabulary: She also relaxed copyright permissions around the ''Harry Potter'' series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading the books aloud to their students.
 
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***Whenever you use "also" in the beginning of a sentence, make sure to add a comma to it. It would sound smoother if you say "she also..." You don't have to mention that she announced it, just directly write that she relaxed the permissions. Once again, the novel series should be written with italics. It would be more accurate to write "aloud to their students" rather than "for their students" since you read a book ''to'' someone, not for them.
 
  
  
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'''Final Edited Version:'''
 
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J.K. Rowling thinks her new webpage will help children by letting them read ebooks and bringing together a number of resources related to the international franchise, including free access to the audiobook version of the first installment in the series. She added her book ''Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone'' to Audible's library of free books. She also relaxed copyright permissions around the ''Harry Potter'' series, allowing teachers to post videos of themselves reading the books aloud to their students.
 
  
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***Please work on writing more concisely and in an active voice. Overall, well written. Good job!
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.  I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.  Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.
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***Edited for punctuation: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child”  is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin.
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***Since your sentence does not end with the quote, don't put the period. You can directly remove the comma and period around the quote. Add commas around "the child."
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<br>I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.
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***Edited for punctuation and fludiity: I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play.
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***Add a comma after "violin." Condense some repetitive parts.
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<br>Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Edited for fluidity: After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Replace "a little violin" ith "for a while" (since you're talking about time). Remove "Then."
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'''Final Edited Version:
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What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child”  is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin. I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play. After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
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***Overall, good job! Please focus on your punctuation (comma/periods).
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Edited by Ashley Leung
 
Edited by Ashley Leung

Latest revision as of 05:27, 2 June 2020

Meku's Writing Page



Medhir! DO NOT DELETE YOUR WRITINGS!!! YOUR editor doesn't know what to do! 







What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.”  is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.  I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.  Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.


What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said, “Teddy is right: there's something in the child.” is that Nat "the child" is really talented at playing the violin.

      • Edited for punctuation: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child” is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin.
      • Since your sentence does not end with the quote, don't put the period. You can directly remove the comma and period around the quote. Add commas around "the child."


I say this because when Nat played the violin everybody in the room who were talking stopped talking to listen to Nat play his violin.

      • Edited for punctuation and fludiity: I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play.
      • Add a comma after "violin." Condense some repetitive parts.


Then after the Nat played a little violin the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.

      • Edited for fluidity: After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.
      • Replace "a little violin" ith "for a while" (since you're talking about time). Remove "Then."


Final Edited Version: What Mrs. Bhaer meant when she said “Teddy is right: there's something in the child” is that Nat, "the child," is really talented at playing the violin. I say this because when Nat played the violin, everybody in the room stopped talking to listen to Nat play. After Nat played for a while, the children and Ms. Bhaer all went to the piano room to play a song together.


      • Overall, good job! Please focus on your punctuation (comma/periods).


Edited by Ashley Leung