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| − | This author's purpose in writing the story. The author's purpose in writing the story felt helpful and team working. According to the text," each Flock of pigeons helped peached other to find food. Then came everyone rushing down for the food." This shows what the author's purpose is in the story. | + | This shows why great Claus took away little Claus horse. Great Claus took away little Claus horse because he kept calling it names. According to the text," little Claus kept calling the horse Gee-up, my fine horses and great Claus kept saying do not say that name." This shows why great Claus took away little Claus horses. |
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| − | This author's purpose in writing the story.
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| − | ***Remove. This is an incomplete sentence (what is the purpose?) and is repeating what you write afterwards, so you don't need it.
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| − | <br>The author's purpose in writing the story felt helpful and team working.
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| − | ***Edited for clarity: The author's purpose in writing the story was to promote teamwork.
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| − | ***You should be describing what the purpose is, so "felt" wouldn't be appropriate here. You can just use "teamwork" ("team working" isn't used).
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| − | <br>According to the text," each Flock of pigeons helped peached other to find food. Then came everyone rushing down for the food."
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| − | ***Edited for punctuation and spacing and capitalization: According to the text, "Each flock of pigeons helped eached other to find food. Then came everyone rushing down for the food."
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| − | ***Correct the spacing around the first quotation mark. Capitalize the first word of the quote.
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| − | <br>This shows what the author's purpose is in the story.
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| − | ***Good!
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| − | '''Final Edited Version:
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| − | The author's purpose in writing the story was to promote teamwork. According to the text, "Each flock of pigeons helped eached other to find food. Then came everyone rushing down for the food." This shows what the author's purpose is in the story.
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| − | ***Overall, please work on your quotation mark punctuation (spacing and comma). Also try to avoid forming repetitive sentences!
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| − | Edited by Ashley Leung
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Revision as of 22:50, 1 June 2020
Pala's Writing Page
This shows why great Claus took away little Claus horse. Great Claus took away little Claus horse because he kept calling it names. According to the text," little Claus kept calling the horse Gee-up, my fine horses and great Claus kept saying do not say that name." This shows why great Claus took away little Claus horses.
