(Created page with "Editor Kira Carson's Portfolio Page")
 
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Editor Kira Carson's Portfolio Page
 
Editor Kira Carson's Portfolio Page
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Unedited Paragraph:
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Confirmed COVID-19 Cases Over 50,000
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Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever shortness of breath, and dry coughing and it can harm people over 60 and with medical/health problems. If you do not want to catch the coronavirus than it is best to stay indoors where you aren't around anyone except for your family. The coronavirus is a very serious virus in so many ways, at least 177 countries have at least more than 10 cases in that country. In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and killed 18,000 people. For preventing the coronavirus we should wash our hands all the time for as long it takes to sing the alphabet, and we should not touch our face and also should not go outside often we should follow these rules strictly to be safe. https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-update/
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Edits:
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Chris, you've had so much improvement on not plagiarizing. Good job! However, your summaries need to be 6 sentences and before your link, you should have 'Source:'. I've reminded you many times, stick to the format! For a refresher read again the beginning of this page: http://theworldforfreedom.com/Article_Tutorial
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Confirmed COVID-19 Cases Over 50,000
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Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever shortness of breath, and dry coughing and it can harm people over 60 and with medical/health problems.***
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    Sometimes sentences with lists, many commas, and multiples 'and's' can come off sounding weak. For a stronger sentence, I recommend removing the last 'and' and rephrasing with 'often'. Also, you're missing a comma after 'fever'.
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Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever, shortness of breath, and dry coughing, often harming people over 60 with medical/health problems.
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If you do not want to catch the coronavirus than it is best to stay indoors where you aren't around anyone except for your family.***
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    This is a little wordy and too casual sounding. Note how the parts in bold I have shortened, making the sentence more specific and easier to read. I've changed 'family' to 'household' because 'family' is too broad and the reader may not know what you mean (which is family that you live with). 
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To avoid catching the coronavirus it is best to stay indoors away from people except those in your household.
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The coronavirus is a very serious virus in so many ways, at least 177 countries have at least more than 10 cases in that country.***
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    I can't find these facts in the article but, it's been updated a few times so, I'm going to assume that's why. Anyways, let's clean up the first part in bold. To sharpen your writing I suggest a synonym for 'very serious' or for 'so many' or both. This is because these are all descriptors that are used a lot in writing and if we can find one word to substitute two words it sounds more professional. Your comma should be a semicolon because either side of it is an independent clause. The last half of this sentence reads a little difficult because of the wordiness and repetition (in bold). Some of it is redundant and we can remove. See below: 
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The coronavirus is a severe virus in numerous ways; currently, 177 countries have at least 10 cases each.
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In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and killed 18,000 people.***
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The placement and verb 'killed' doesn't quite work here. It appears a word is missing too. You could put 'it's' before killed or change to '400,000 cases, killing 18,000 people." or:
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In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and 18,000 people have died.
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For preventing the coronavirus we should wash our hands all the time for as long it takes to sing the alphabet, and we should not touch our face and also should not go outside often we should follow these rules strictly to be safe.***
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    Since you're missing a sentence let's break this up into two sentences. Let's include information on social distancing as well since it is also an important preventative which hasn't been mentioned in your summary. The parts in bold are areas that are unclear and need to be reworded. "should' and 'we should' is repeated many times as well and can be cut back. 
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To prevent the coronavirus we should wash our hands frequently to the length of time it takes to sing the alphabet and attempt to not touch our faces. We also must limit our outside outings, practice social distancing, and continue to follow these rules strictly to be safe.
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https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-update/***
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  Put 'Source:' before the link.
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Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-update/
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Edited Paragraph:
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Confirmed COVID-19 Cases Over 50,000
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Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever, shortness of breath, and dry coughing, often harming people over 60 with medical/health problems. To avoid catching the coronavirus it is best to stay indoors away from people except those in your household. The coronavirus is a severe virus in numerous ways; currently, 177 countries have at least 10 cases each. In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and 18,000 people have died. To prevent the coronavirus we should wash our hands frequently to the length of time it takes to sing the alphabet and attempt to not touch our faces. We also must limit our outside outings, practice social distancing, and continue to follow these rules strictly to be safe.
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Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-update/
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Edited by Kira Carson

Revision as of 19:53, 9 May 2020

Editor Kira Carson's Portfolio Page



Unedited Paragraph:

Confirmed COVID-19 Cases Over 50,000

Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever shortness of breath, and dry coughing and it can harm people over 60 and with medical/health problems. If you do not want to catch the coronavirus than it is best to stay indoors where you aren't around anyone except for your family. The coronavirus is a very serious virus in so many ways, at least 177 countries have at least more than 10 cases in that country. In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and killed 18,000 people. For preventing the coronavirus we should wash our hands all the time for as long it takes to sing the alphabet, and we should not touch our face and also should not go outside often we should follow these rules strictly to be safe. https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-update/


Edits:

Chris, you've had so much improvement on not plagiarizing. Good job! However, your summaries need to be 6 sentences and before your link, you should have 'Source:'. I've reminded you many times, stick to the format! For a refresher read again the beginning of this page: http://theworldforfreedom.com/Article_Tutorial

Confirmed COVID-19 Cases Over 50,000

Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever shortness of breath, and dry coughing and it can harm people over 60 and with medical/health problems.*** 

   Sometimes sentences with lists, many commas, and multiples 'and's' can come off sounding weak. For a stronger sentence, I recommend removing the last 'and' and rephrasing with 'often'. Also, you're missing a comma after 'fever'.

Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever, shortness of breath, and dry coughing, often harming people over 60 with medical/health problems.

If you do not want to catch the coronavirus than it is best to stay indoors where you aren't around anyone except for your family.*** 

   This is a little wordy and too casual sounding. Note how the parts in bold I have shortened, making the sentence more specific and easier to read. I've changed 'family' to 'household' because 'family' is too broad and the reader may not know what you mean (which is family that you live with).

To avoid catching the coronavirus it is best to stay indoors away from people except those in your household.

The coronavirus is a very serious virus in so many ways, at least 177 countries have at least more than 10 cases in that country.*** 

   I can't find these facts in the article but, it's been updated a few times so, I'm going to assume that's why. Anyways, let's clean up the first part in bold. To sharpen your writing I suggest a synonym for 'very serious' or for 'so many' or both. This is because these are all descriptors that are used a lot in writing and if we can find one word to substitute two words it sounds more professional. Your comma should be a semicolon because either side of it is an independent clause. The last half of this sentence reads a little difficult because of the wordiness and repetition (in bold). Some of it is redundant and we can remove. See below:

The coronavirus is a severe virus in numerous ways; currently, 177 countries have at least 10 cases each.

In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and killed 18,000 people.*** 

The placement and verb 'killed' doesn't quite work here. It appears a word is missing too. You could put 'it's' before killed or change to '400,000 cases, killing 18,000 people." or:

In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and 18,000 people have died.

For preventing the coronavirus we should wash our hands all the time for as long it takes to sing the alphabet, and we should not touch our face and also should not go outside often we should follow these rules strictly to be safe.*** 

   Since you're missing a sentence let's break this up into two sentences. Let's include information on social distancing as well since it is also an important preventative which hasn't been mentioned in your summary. The parts in bold are areas that are unclear and need to be reworded. "should' and 'we should' is repeated many times as well and can be cut back.

To prevent the coronavirus we should wash our hands frequently to the length of time it takes to sing the alphabet and attempt to not touch our faces. We also must limit our outside outings, practice social distancing, and continue to follow these rules strictly to be safe.

https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-update/*** 

  Put 'Source:' before the link.

Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-update/


Edited Paragraph:

Confirmed COVID-19 Cases Over 50,000

Covid-19 is a very deadly virus, which causes symptoms like fever, shortness of breath, and dry coughing, often harming people over 60 with medical/health problems. To avoid catching the coronavirus it is best to stay indoors away from people except those in your household. The coronavirus is a severe virus in numerous ways; currently, 177 countries have at least 10 cases each. In the whole world, there are about 400,000 cases and 18,000 people have died. To prevent the coronavirus we should wash our hands frequently to the length of time it takes to sing the alphabet and attempt to not touch our faces. We also must limit our outside outings, practice social distancing, and continue to follow these rules strictly to be safe. Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/health/covid-19-coronavirus-outbreak-update/

Edited by Kira Carson