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Based on the story, the story of the world of the human beings up above gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things. According to the text," nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the wold of human beings up above the, little princess said." In addition," she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals." This shows what gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things. | Based on the story, the story of the world of the human beings up above gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things. According to the text," nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the wold of human beings up above the, little princess said." In addition," she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals." This shows what gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things. | ||
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| + | Based on the story, the story of the world of the human beings up above gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things. | ||
| + | ***Edited for clarity and fluidity: According to the story, the youngest princess loved the story of the world of humans up above. | ||
| + | ***It is confusing when you place the "based on the story" and "the story of the world" right next to each other. This sentence is very similar to the quote, so change it into your own words. You can just say that she loves the story. | ||
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| + | <br>According to the text," nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the wold of human beings up above the, little princess said." | ||
| + | ***Edited for spacing, spelling, and capitalization: According to the text, "Nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the world of human beings up above." | ||
| + | ***Incorrect spacing before the quote. Capitalize the first word of the quote. Don't need "the little princess said." | ||
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| + | <br>In addition," she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals." | ||
| + | ***Edited for spacing: In addition, "she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals." | ||
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| + | <br>This shows what gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things. | ||
| + | ***Good. | ||
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| + | '''Final Edited Version: | ||
| + | According to the story, the youngest princess loved the story of the world of humans up above. According to the text, "Nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the world of human beings up above." In addition, "she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals." This shows what gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things. | ||
| + | |||
| + | ***Overall, good job. Please work on your quotation spacing and capitalization. | ||
Revision as of 06:12, 1 May 2020
Pala's Writing Page
Based on the story, the story of the world of the human beings up above gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things. According to the text," nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the wold of human beings up above the, little princess said." In addition," she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals." This shows what gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things.
Based on the story, the story of the world of the human beings up above gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things.
- Edited for clarity and fluidity: According to the story, the youngest princess loved the story of the world of humans up above.
- It is confusing when you place the "based on the story" and "the story of the world" right next to each other. This sentence is very similar to the quote, so change it into your own words. You can just say that she loves the story.
According to the text," nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the wold of human beings up above the, little princess said."
- Edited for spacing, spelling, and capitalization: According to the text, "Nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the world of human beings up above."
- Incorrect spacing before the quote. Capitalize the first word of the quote. Don't need "the little princess said."
In addition," she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals."
- Edited for spacing: In addition, "she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals."
This shows what gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things.
- Good.
Final Edited Version:
According to the story, the youngest princess loved the story of the world of humans up above. According to the text, "Nothing gave her greater pleasure than to hear about the world of human beings up above." In addition, "she made her old grandmother tell her all that she knew about ships and towns, people and animals." This shows what gave the youngest princess the most pleasure of all things.
- Overall, good job. Please work on your quotation spacing and capitalization.
