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Vibr's Writing Page
 
  
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Original Summary:
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One of the accomplishments that William has achieved is ending major hunger for childhood. Another accomplishment that William has achieved is raising $63,000 and collecting 55,000 pounds of food. That is the evidence that William has contributed to help ending major hunger for childhood for so many kids.
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In order to avoid becoming infected by the COVID-19 virus you should wash your hands and shower because you never know if you have germs. Another way how you can avoid becoming infected is by not traveling to different countries so you can stop spreading the COVID-19 virus.
 
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<br>'''Therefore, these are two ways you can avoid becoming infected by the COVID-19 virus.
 
  
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<br>For fluidity, clarity: '''In order to avoid being infected by the COVID-19 virus, you should shower and wash your hands often. You never know if you have come into contact with the virus.'''
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For fluidity, clarity: '''One of William's achievements is working to end childhood hunger.'''
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                        Make sure your sentences make sense in the grand scheme of things. For example, hunger in children is a problem that has not yet been solved. William is merely working to alleviate the problem--he did not eradicate it.  
  
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<br>For fluidity: '''Another way to avoid infection is to avoid traveling to/from different countries that have COVID-19, so you do not spread the virus further.'''
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For fluidity: '''William has also raised $63,000 and collected 55,000 pounds of food.'''
  
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'''Therefore, these are two ways you can avoid becoming infected by the COVID-19 virus.'''  
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For clarity, fluidity: '''That is the evidence that William has indeed contributed to help end major childhood hunger for so many kids.'''
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            Good!
 
  
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Fully Edited Summary:
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'''One of William's achievements is working to end childhood hunger. William has also raised $63,000 and collected 55,000 pounds of food. That is the evidence that William has indeed contributed to help end major childhood hunger for so many kids.'''
  
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Fully Edited Summary:
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Try not to have any excess words in your summaries!
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'''In order to avoid being infected by the COVID-19 virus, you should shower and wash your hands often. You never know if you have come into contact with the virus. Another way to avoid infection is to avoid traveling to/from different countries that have COVID-19, so you do not spread the virus further. Therefore, these are two ways you can avoid becoming infected by the COVID-19 virus.'''
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*Edited by Hailey
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Good information! Just make sure you are not too "wordy"--it hinders the clarity of the summary.
 

Latest revision as of 23:03, 17 April 2020

One of the accomplishments that William has achieved is ending major hunger for childhood. Another accomplishment that William has achieved is raising $63,000 and collecting 55,000 pounds of food. That is the evidence that William has contributed to help ending major hunger for childhood for so many kids.

For fluidity, clarity: One of William's achievements is working to end childhood hunger. 

                       Make sure your sentences make sense in the grand scheme of things. For example, hunger in children is a problem that has not yet been solved. William is merely working to alleviate the problem--he did not eradicate it.

For fluidity: William has also raised $63,000 and collected 55,000 pounds of food.

For clarity, fluidity: That is the evidence that William has indeed contributed to help end major childhood hunger for so many kids.

Fully Edited Summary: One of William's achievements is working to end childhood hunger. William has also raised $63,000 and collected 55,000 pounds of food. That is the evidence that William has indeed contributed to help end major childhood hunger for so many kids.

Try not to have any excess words in your summaries!

  • Edited by Hailey