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“The Long History Of Hong Kong”
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Hong Kong today is a very busy and crowded city with thousands of people roaming the streets. Back in time, Hong Kong was a small island for fishing industries and where British trade illegally trades opium with China. Not long many Chinese are addicted to this trade which the government banned the use of opium. On January 1, 1842, China signed the treaty of Nanjing with the British allowing the British to control Hong Kong permanently. In 1856, there was a second opium war were many Chinese soldiers were harmed. Then after the war, the Japanese came to invade China and the British regained its control of Hong Kong. Then communism became popular in China as today China is a communist country. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/hong-kong-history-visualized/
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- Great title! Only edit is "of" which should NOT be capitalized.
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'''*** Today, the small island of Hong Kong is a busy and crowded city where thousands of people roam the streets. ***'''
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- Good intro. Have "today" be your opening (it helps set the stage). Use "where" instead of "with" to indicate placement and keep the verb present. I included the description of the city in this sentence because it provides an image that the next sentence is influenced by.
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'''*** However, once Hong Kong was only known for its fishing industry and illegal opium trades between the British and China. ***'''
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- Some repeated words in this sentence, most likely a typo. Try to keep each paranthetical as clear as possible, so the reader can see the distinction between them.
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'''***It was not long before many Chinese became addicted to the drug, even though the government had banned the use of opium.***'''
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- This sentence was VERY confusing! I filled out the sentence with a clearer description and a paranthetical. It seems like you are going in a different direction than the title hints, i.e., more about the opium crisis in Hong Kong, not necessarily its overarching history. We need to see the distinction.
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'''***Hong Kong was put under British rule in 1842, after the First Opium War, when China signed the Treaty of Nanjing.***'''
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- The exact date of the treaty is not needed ("treaty" should also be capitalized). I also added context with "first opium war", otherwise the audience has no idea why the transfer of power was made.
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'''***In 1856, a Second Opium War began for further control over the region, and many Chinese soldiers were killed.***'''
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- Again, "further control..." helps provide context. Otherwise, the information is like a free-for-all!
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'''***Afterwards, Japan attempted to take over the island, but they ultimately failed and Hong Kong remained under British rule.***'''
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- At the point in the paragraph, we have to start finding new words for descriptors so we don't become repetative. This has to be balance with clarity! For example, I used "Hong Kong" as the end of the sentence instead of the pronoun so the audience knows for certain what is being talked about.
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'''***Since then, China has become a communist nation, and Hong Kong continues to struggle for self-determination.***'''
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- Good way to end the paragraph, by bringing us back to the present. "Self-determination" is the key word here; it describes the ultimate struggle of the city and gives us a sense of the city's purpose. Interesting article! Branch out your ideas and try not to be vague!
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*“The Long History of Hong Kong”
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Today, the small island of Hong Kong is a busy and crowded city where thousands of people roam the streets. However, once Hong Kong was only known for its fishing industry and illegal opium trades between the British and China. It was not long before many Chinese became addicted to the drug, even though the government had banned the use of opium. Hong Kong was put under British rule in 1842, after the First Opium War, when China signed the Treaty of Nanjing. In 1856, a Second Opium War began for further control over the region, and many Chinese soldiers were killed. Afterwards, Japan attempted to take over the island, but they ultimately failed and Hong Kong remained under British rule. Since then, China has become a communist nation, and Hong Kong continues to struggle for self-determination.
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https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/hong-kong-history-visualized/
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----
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“The Amazon Fireforest”
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Everyone is aware of the Amazon rain forest as it is one of the largest rainforests in the world. It contained most of the earth's habitats. Today, the rainforest is deteriorating due to human activities. A week ago it is reported that there was a forest fire, however, the fire is still active throughout the week and destroying many homes. Many believed that this was no regular forest fire, but manmade one. Deforestation causes the fire as people cut down the fire, left it to dry, and set it on fire to fertilize the soil. Clear lands are used for cattle to graze their grass. Causing a forest fire just for farming purposes is unacceptable as it destroys many habitats.  https://www.popsci.com/amazon-forest-fires/
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- No edits for your title, well done.
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'''***The Amazon is the largest rainforst in the world and contains most of the Earth's habitats.***'''
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- Assert the fact and remove the unnecessary "everyone is aware", which weakens your intro. The sentence following this is so brief that it works better in the intro.
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'''***Today, however, the rainforest is deteriorating rapidly because of human activity. ***'''
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-"However" helps mark a transition. I included "rapidly" for specificity and changed "due" to "because"- sometimes the syllable count of a word can impact the flow of the whole sentence.
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'''*** A forest fire that was reported last week is still active and is destroying many homes.***'''
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- I put the subject first to make the sentence linear (ie., noun before the verb). By forming the sentence this way, we can remove a lot of repetition.
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'''***Many also believe that this is no regular forest fire, but one that is man-made. ***'''
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- "Believe" should be present, not past, especially since you are talking about a current event. I also moved "man-made" (which is two words) to the end of the sentence because it is describing the fire (look back to previous edit about linear structure; try to put the subject/noun first).
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'''*** The process of deforestation is the cause of these fires: trees are cut down, left to dry and set on fire to fertilize the soil. ***'''
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- Include "process" for specificity and include the colon to break up the sentence (since you list the steps, a colon is used instead of a semi-colon). Good sentence, very vivid.
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'''***The cleared land is then used for cattle to graze, but the benefits of these fires are too miniscule to justify the destruction of an ecosystem.***'''
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- I like this last thought you are using to conclude the sentence. Just needs to be expressed clearer. I also included the previous sentence in the conclusion to help drive home the final point.
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*“The Amazon Fireforest”
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The Amazon is the largest rainforst in the world and contains most of the Earth's habitats. Today, however, the rainforest is deteriorating rapidly because of human activity. A forest fire that was reported last week is still active and is destroying many homes. Many also believe that this is no regular forest fire, but one that is man-made. The process of deforestation is the cause of these fires: trees are cut down, left to dry and set on fire to fertilize the soil. The cleared land is then used for cattle to graze, but the benefits of these fires are too miniscule to justify the destruction of an ecosystem.
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https://www.popsci.com/amazon-forest-fires/
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----
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“Is it a Girl or a Boy?”
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Gender reveals are one of the most exciting events to attend with everyone’s guesses. However, if the outcome of the gender is obvious then it won’t be as exciting. This is the case for a small village in Poland. Where it been a decade since the last boy was born and 12 girls were born instead. There is a 50/50 chance that a baby could be either a boy or a girl and having two girls in a row is more unlikely. So having 12 girls in a row is extremely unlikely as it is rarely likely to happen. Some scientists believed that this could have something to do with genetics. Moreover, some believed that this could also happen to other places as well and it is as likely as having 12 girls in a row.
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https://www.popsci.com/polish-village-baby-boy-probability/
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- Good job with the capitalization in your title. No edits!
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'''***Gender reveals can be dramatic and exciting events, except when the outcome is obvious or anticipated.***'''
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- You take too long getting to/ alluding to the meat of the article. Try to use the intro sentence as a jumping point into your article. In this case, I put together your intro and second sentence-- consolidate and specify!
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'''***This is the case for a small village in Poland where the last 12 babies born there were all girls.***'''
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- Connect the sentences with a comma, dash or semi-colon, or reword them, otherwise your sentence beginning with "where" is not complete. Also, you have to find a way to balance the information so it is presented clearly. There is confusion between "a decade" and "12 girls", so by eliminating "decade" we can assume this has been happening for a while (also, that information doesn't come up in the rest of the paragraph, we can discard it).
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'''***There is always a 50/50 chance that a baby can be either a boy or a girl, so having two girls in a row is unlikely--12 consecutively is an anomaly!***'''
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- Pretty good sentence! Good use of "either/or". Only edit: "more" indicates a comparison (i.e., more than this or that) and since you don't complete the comparison (which you don't need), you can remove "more". I used a dash to bring in the next sentence-- this is an opportunity in the text to include an greater indication of your own voice, particularly with the punctuation. This also keeps the flow of your paragraph sharp.
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'''***However, some scientists believe the answer is tied to genetics.***'''
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- I used the adverb to mark a transition in the paragraph. "Believe" is present tense because nothing has challenged that belief (at least not in your article). "Something to do" is vague. "Tied" at least provides some imagery.
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'''***Many also postulate that this could occur other regions around the world, and perhaps this is not as rare as previously believed.***'''
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- I removed the adverb because my previous sentence begins with an adverb, but I really like your word choice-- choosing an adverb not often used. Your concluding thought needed to be expressed more clearly. Great article! You've been picking some great ones lately.
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*“Is it a Girl or a Boy?”
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Gender reveals can be dramatic and exciting events, except when the outcome is obvious or anticipated. This is the case for a small village in Poland where the last 12 babies born there were all girls. There is always a 50/50 chance that a baby can be either a boy or a girl, so having two girls in a row is unlikely--12 consecutively is an anomaly! However, some scientists believe the answer is tied to genetics. Many also postulate that this could occur other regions around the world, and perhaps this is not as rare as previously believed.
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https://www.popsci.com/polish-village-baby-boy-probability/
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----
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“India Cast System”
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Every person's dream is to be successful in their career, be wealthy, and marry their loved ones and live happily ever after. Sadly, this may not apply to India as many Indian still follows the strict cast system. For example, Amrutha and Pranay are a couple who got married without their parent approvals. As a result of this, Amrutha was outrageous and hired a man to kill Pranay who is below their status. Unfortunately, Amrutha and Pranay aren’t the only couples who are facing this problem. There are many other cases reported of couples running away from their families and are seeking protection from the government. In addition, relationships aren’t the only strict factors that people have to follow. It is known that children are not allowed to make friends with kids below their cast system. It is very sorrowful that the person themselves can not choose their partner or friend.  https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/a-young-indian-couple-married-for-love-then-the-brides-father-hired-assassins/2019/08/19/3d1ce9a0-a1d0-11e9-a767-d7ab84aef3e9_story.html
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'''*** "Forbidden Love in India's Caste System"***'''
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- The spelling of "caste" is incorrect. Refer to the article if you are confused! I also inluded "forbidden love" to clue the reader to what the article will focus on (we are not focussing on the caste system but relationships in that system). Also, since the caste system belongs to India, possession needs to be shown.
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'''*** Most people dream of being successful, wealthy and in control of their own lives.***'''
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- You are starting the sentence with a generalization/assumption, so the statement should be slightly more vague (to show this is not an assertion but a generalization). This sentence was also very wordy, so I removed and consolidated some phrases.
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'''***Sadly, this is not guaranteed for everyone, particuarly in India where many still follow a strict caste system.***'''
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- I removed "to India"; this is an example of a sentence that has too many unnecessary words/phrases. Simplify your sentence, see what phrases are redundant or unclear.
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'''***Take for example Amrutha and Pranay, a couple who married despiste coming from different caste levels.***'''
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-We need "different caste levels" to provide specificity and clarity. This sentence is a dive into the paragraph, however we do need a smooth connection from your intro into the meat of the text.
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'''***As a result, Amrutha's outraged father hired a hitman to kill Pranay, who was below his daughter in the caste system. ***'''
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-You forgot to indicate to Amrutha's father, and I specified "below his daughter" for further clarity.
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'''***Unfortunately, Amrutha and Pranay are not the only ones who have faced this problem; there are many reported cases of couples who seek government protection after fleeing from their disgruntled families.***'''
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-These two sentences can be connected with a semi-colon to smooth the flow and rhythm you build. I also changed the verb order ("who seek" before "fleeing from")-- this keeps the sentence and actions linear. I used "disgruntled" to decribe "families"
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'''***Even friendships between children from different caste levels is strictly forbidden.***'''
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- I wanted to tie this sentence with the one that follows, however I didn't want to use another semi-colon so I changed the way the sentence begins. This way, a single, slightly weaker sentence will not be used as a transition or change in topic.
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'''***These threats of violence make it impossible for people to be in control of their own lives.***'''
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- The start of your conclusion is too weak to wrap up the sentence! Get straight to the point and show what the artcile's overall message is. Very interesting to read! I like your interpretation of the original piece.
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*"Forbidden Love in India's Caste System"
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Most people dream of being successful, wealthy and in control of their own lives. Sadly, this is not guaranteed for everyone, particuarly in India where many still follow a strict caste system. Take for example Amrutha and Pranay, a couple who married despiste coming from different caste levels. As a result, Amrutha's outraged father hired a hitman to kill Pranay, who was below his daughter in the caste system. Unfortunately, Amrutha and Pranay are not the only ones who have faced this problem; there are many reported cases of couples who seek government protection after fleeing from their disgruntled families. Even friendships between children from different caste levels is strictly forbidden. These threats of violence make it impossible for people to be in control of their own lives.
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https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/a-young-indian-couple-married-for-love-then-the-brides-father-hired-assassins/2019/08/19/3d1ce9a0-a1d0-11e9-a767-d7ab84aef3e9_story.html
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----
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“Not Satisfied With Your Toilet Papers?”
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Everyone is busy, especially at this age of time as technologies are booming and many people have many of their own responsibilities. No one really has the time to wonder or think about themselves or if their toilet paper is suitable for them. There is a program for critiquing toilet papers so it matches and satisfied customers. Toilet papers are hard to form as they have to be soft, is strong so it doesn’t break while wiping, have a good smell, and easy to breakdown to be flushed or else the toilet will be a clogged toilet. The real debate is keeping the tissue as soft as possible at the same time making it strong so it doesn’t break while it is used. It is interesting that people are always experimenting and altering something we don’t even consider.  https://www.popsci.com/charmin-secret-poop-lab/
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'''***"Are You Satisfied with Your Toilet Paper?"***'''
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- Your title is posed as a question, direct it to the audience! "With" is a preposition and it is not capitalized.
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'''*** In this booming technological age, many people have their own responsibilities and do not have the time to assess if their toilet paper is suitable for them.***'''
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-By forming the sentence like this, we introduce the subject and start the sentence with a linear flow (a beginning, middle and end). I also used your second sentence to complete the thought.
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'''***However, a program initiated by Charmin's critiques different toilet papers to meet the customer's needs.***'''
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- I changed the tense of the verb "critiquing". Also, "matches" wasn't the best term to suit the sentence. I included the company for specificity. 
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'''***Toilet paper must smell pleasant, breakdown easily when flushed and be soft, yet strong enough not to tear when wiping. ***'''
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- The subject is singular, not plural. I changed the presentation of this info for clarity. The sentence's flow was disjointed. "Tear" is also a better word for this association than "break".
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'''***Consumers must also take into account how their choices impact the environment, as most toilet paper is not sustainable. ***'''
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- This sentence was a repetition of the previous one, in terms of the information provided to the audience. I went a different direction to incorporate new information into the paragraph.
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'''*** As consumer's needs change our toilet paper does too, even if we might not realize it.***'''
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- Your conclusion draws us away from the subject, and constrains the final moments of your article.
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*"Are You Satisfied with Your Toilet Paper?"
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In this booming technological age, many people have their own responsibilities and do not have the time to assess if their toilet paper is suitable for them. However, a program initiated by Charmin's critiques different toilet papers to meet the customer's needs. Toilet paper must smell pleasant, breakdown easily when flushed and be soft, yet strong enough not to tear when wiping. Consumers must also take into account how their choices impact the environment, as most toilet paper is not sustainable. As consumer's needs change our toilet paper does too, even if we might not realize it.
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https://www.popsci.com/charmin-secret-poop-lab/
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----
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“Are You Really Healthy?”
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If you are sick, it is explanatory to visit the doctor for a check up and medicine. Nevertheless, simply visiting the doctor will not make you healthy or put you a healthy state. As people have surveyed and asked many people with mental issues such as depression and anxieties. Many of those who reported having those issues said they never actually addressed this to their doctors. However, the patients can’t always be blamed for not speaking out, since there are no certainties if the doctor themselves asked their patients. If someone is suffering from such problems it is important to address to their doctor for other health consequences.
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https://www.popsci.com/stigma-doctor-patient-disclose-depression-assault-abuse/
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- No edits for your title, very good! It draws the reader in, the proper words are capitalized and the punctuation is correct. Well done!
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'''***When you are sick, it is imperative to visit the doctor for a diagnosis and subsequent medicine.***'''
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- "Explanatory is not used correctly in this sentence- it has a different meaning than what you are trying to say. Instead, use one of these: essential, important, crucial, paramount, or something similar in meaning. "Check up" assumes something that is routine, so "diagnosis" works better.
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'''***Nevertheless, simply visiting the doctor will not guarantee a healthy state of being; survey's point to physical repercussions experienced by those with mental issues such as depression and anxiety. ***'''
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-I really like your adverb to start the sentence. "Will not make you healthy" is redundant- "healthy state" is enough. The sentence that follows this one is not a complete sentence, it is not a complete thought so I used it in this sentence separated by a semi-colon. This will help tie into the coming sentence.
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'''***Many of those who reported experiencing mental issues said they never actually addressed it with their doctor.***'''
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-  I put "experiencing mental" to specify. "To" is replaced with "with"-- indicating a relationship between people.
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'''***However, patients can not always be blamed for not speaking up, since there is no certainty the doctor will ask the patient themselves.***'''
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-Good sentence! Minor edits: I changed "certainty" from plural to singular and moved the pronoun "themselves" to the end of the sentence.
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'''***Mental illnesses are just as detrimental as physical illnesses, and should  be discussed routinely with a doctor. ***'''
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- I've noticed a lot of your conclusions end with some form of "it is important"; try to change it up and find new ways to wrap up your article. But I definitely notice an improvement in your writing!
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*“Are You Really Healthy?”
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When you are sick, it is imperative to visit the doctor for a diagnosis and subsequent medicine. Nevertheless, simply visiting the doctor will not guarantee a healthy state of being; survey's point to physical repercussions experienced by those with mental issues such as depression and anxiety. Many of those who reported experiencing mental issues said they never actually addressed it with their doctor. However, patients can not always be blamed for not speaking up, since there is no certainty the doctor will ask the patient themselves. Mental illnesses are just as detrimental as physical illnesses, and should  be discussed routinely with a doctor.
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https://www.popsci.com/stigma-doctor-patient-disclose-depression-assault-abuse/
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----
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“Public Bathroom Is Not A Good Idea”
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One of the important factors in living a healthy life is eating good nutrition, exercising, and removing excess waste your body doesn't need. People tend to avoid using the term “poop” as it gives a lot of imagery and it is also known for being disrespectful. Many try to avoid pooping in a public bathroom as it is odious and unhealthy for the environment. But in case of emergency, many people will do their business on the soil and dig it up and leave it. This might not seem unnoticeable; however, if many people do it, it would cause many diseases as it is unsanitary. Some places dig up a large pit and once the pit is filled it is covered up and dig another pit far away from other pits. This method is still unsanitary as there are too many wastes to decompose right away. Always stay away from using an outdoor toilet as they are dirty and unhealthy.
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https://www.popsci.com/composting-toilets-worms/
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'''*** "Public Bathrooms Are Not a Good Idea."***'''
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- "Public" is a plural noun, so the very "is" must also be plural. Not your best title, it's pretty straight forward and not the most imaginative but it does work!
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'''***Some of the most important factors in living a healthy life is good nutrition, exercise, and removing excess waste from the body.***'''
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- Since you list more than one factor, use "some" instead of "one" to start the sentence. "Eating" is not necessary; neither is "doesn't need"- all of this is already inferred with you other descriptions.
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'''***However, passing of waste has a social stigma; people tend to avoid the term "poop", as it is graphic and deemed disrespectful.***'''
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- There needs to be a transition between the intro and this sentence. When making a transition like these, the sentence needs an extra push. Idea's are joined together with the semi-colon.
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'''***Many try to avoid pooping in pubic bathrooms, as they are odious and harmful to the environment.***'''
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- Pretty good sentence! Same edit as in the intro concerning "pubic bathroom". "Harmful" was smoother in the sentence than "unhealthy".
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'''***Nature park patrons will do their business in the soil, leaving it in a hole and covering it with dirt.***'''
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- Some of the description is not needed here. It just makes the sentence confusing. This is also a point where you could specify an area the audience can visualize, otherwise the article becomes confused.
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'''***This might not seem noticeable, however it is extremely unsanitary and would spread disease.***'''
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- I changed some words mainly for specificity, I also put the action very at the end of the sentence.
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'''*** Some dig a large pit and cover it with soil when full, only to dig another pit farther away. ***'''
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- This sentence was good, just needed some clarity. But good job painting a picture!
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'''***This method is still unsanitary, as too much waste is decomposed at one time.***'''
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- Like the previous sentence, this needed clarity and to be untangled.
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'''***Always stay away from outdoor toilets-- they are dirty, hazardous and unhealthy.***'''
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- The dash is a new way to break up the sentence. Same edit with "outdoor toilet" and "public bathroom" with pluralization. I also added another descriptor; I like using three examples. 
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*"Public Bathrooms Are Not a Good Idea."
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Some of the most important factors in living a healthy life is good nutrition, exercise, and removing excess waste from the body. However, passing of waste has a social stigma; people tend to avoid the term "poop", as it is graphic and deemed disrespectful. Many try to avoid pooping in pubic bathrooms, as they are odious and harmful to the environment. Nature park patrons will do their business in the soil, leaving it in a hole and covering it with dirt. This might not seem noticeable, however it is extremely unsanitary and would spread disease. Some dig a large pit and cover it with soil when full, only to dig another pit farther away. This method is still unsanitary, as too much waste is decomposed at one time. Always stay away from outdoor toilets-- they are dirty, hazardous and unhealthy.
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https://www.popsci.com/composting-toilets-worms/
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----
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“Trump’s Altering The Endangered Species Act”
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On Monday, Trump Administration reported some changes they will make of the endangered species act. It might sound irrelevant to most people, however, this could result in mass animal extinctions. One of these major changes would be the habitats, as climate change is increasing the temperature, more animals are going to out of their current area and move to another. Yet, the government banned those new areas for the animals which gives them less space to live. Not only that, now species that are marked threatened will not have the same protection as endangered species. This means that when a certain species needs protection, it may be too late. It is important to not only focus on the benefits of humans but also the animals.
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https://www.popsci.com/endangered-species-act-weakened-trump/ 
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'''*** "Trump Alters the Endangerd Species Act."***'''
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- Good title! I broke down the contraction because it weakens and confuses your title. "Alters" helps us understand this has already happened. Also, articles are not capitalized in titles, unless it is the first word of said title.
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'''***On Monday, the Trump Administration reported some changes they will make to the Endangered Species Act.***'''
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- Good intro! The article is needed before "Trump Administration" to modify the noun. Instead of using "of", use "to" in order to show direction. "Endangered Species Act" is capitalized.
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'''***While this might sound irrelevant to most people, these changes could result in mass animal extinction.***'''
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- I used "while" to mark a transition, I also specified "these changes" for clarity.
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'''***As climate change increases the world's temperature, more animals are leaving their current habitats for new ones.***'''
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- The first part of this section was very confusing; instead, move directly into climate change. This sentence is a great for momentum into your piece. I added words here to gain specificty, like "world's" and "habitats".
 +
 +
'''*** However, the governement has restricted these areas, giving animals even less space to live.***'''
 +
 +
- I felt that "however" was a better adverb to start the sentence. "Banned" is very confusing here. I changed it to "restricted".
 +
 +
'''***Under these new alterations, animals that are marked as threatened will not have the same protection as endangered species.***'''
 +
 +
-"Not only that" was too conversational; I also changed the first "species" to "animal" (this is a personal choice; I try to avoid using the same word in one sentence).
 +
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'''***This will cause setbacks when a certain species needs protection before it becomes too  late.***'''
 +
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- I really like the flow you have built. Your sentences are becoming seamless! "Cause setbacks" helps with description.
 +
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'''***Government agencies need to focus not only on what benefits humans, but our actions how it affects other species.***'''
 +
 +
-Your conclusion was a bit to straightforward; too limited. "Government agencies" gives specificity, along with "affects" and "our actions". Really good job!
 +
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* "Trump Alters the Endangerd Species Act."
 +
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On Monday, the Trump Administration reported some changes they will make to the Endangered Species Act. While this might sound irrelevant to most people, these changes could result in mass animal extinction. As climate change increases the world's temperature, more animals are leaving their current habitats for new ones. However, the governement has restricted these areas, giving animals even less space to live. Under these new alterations, animals that are marked as threatened will not have the same protection as endangered species. This will cause setbacks when a certain species needs protection before it becomes too  late. Government agencies need to focus not only on what benefits humans, but our actions how it affects other species.
 +
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----
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“Beaver Dams”
 +
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Chinook salmons are known to be one of the threatened species of salmon and are now making a comeback thanks to beavers. Ever since the removal of the Elwha River dams, the acres of land increased which gives more space for animals. Before the dam removal, the population of the chinook salmons decreased by 60% since 1984, however, after the dam removal, the population of the salmons doubled. This ties with the beaver dams near the coast of the river as the beaver creates their beaver dams. The dams are super-beneficial during the time of drought for the fish. It also creates a slower pace of water flow which more insects are attracted to giving the fish more food. The beaver lodge physically helps young fish to navigate where the rich water is at. It is amazing how one organism affect the other organisms as they adjust to their own habitats. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/08/coastal-beavers-help-salmon-recovery-washington/ 
 +
 +
'''***"Beaver Dams are Saving the Salmon."***'''
 +
 +
-Your title isn't very descriptive! Have fun with your titles! Use alliteration, hyperbole, anything to excite the reader and draw in our attention. When you look at a newspaper or website, what titles stick out to you? What makes you want to read more? Frame your titles in this way.
 +
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'''*** The Chinook salmon, one of the most threatened species of salmon in North America, is making a comeback thanks to the studiousness of beavers.***'''
 +
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- Great first sentence. I used commas to separate the parenthetical and I specified North America for detail. Similarly, I used "studiousness" to describe the beavers and give the reader a clue into the article. 
 +
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'''*** Ever since the removal of the Elwha River dams, previously occupied land has been cleared to give more space for animals to thrive.***'''
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- Some of your phrasing in this sentence was confusing; I tried to give clarity to your fact, and added "to thrive" as further explanation/ description. I'm not sure if this sentence is important to the rest of the piece. It seems like this information is the most confusing because it is not as connected to the topic as the other facts.
 +
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'''***This shows the correlation between Chinook salmon numbers and the dam's removal; salmon populations decreased by 60% before the dams removal and nearly doubled after the dams were eliminated.***'''
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- The information in this sentence was great but needs to be presented clearer. I used "correlation" to set up the comparison and the semi-colon to present the information in a clear way.
 +
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'''***Beavers add to the rise in Chinook salmon numbers because their dams, which they build on coastlines, help slow down the river.***'''
 +
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- I had a difficult time introducing the beavers into this piece because of the second sentence. There is a very brief transition, so connecting the two ideas is not as seamless as it could be. I recommend, when you outline the paragraph, to make sure the each idea is connected to the previous one.
 +
 +
'''***This attracts insects which sustain the salmon, while the lodges themselves guide younger fish to richer waters.***'''
 +
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- I put together the two facts so the paragraph isn't as long. I also tried to keep the pace of the paragraph fluid, instead of the briefer sentences which slow down the whole article.
 +
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'''***The relationship between beavers and the Chinook salmon shows how one organism can help another adapt to its environment.***'''
 +
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- Good final sentence! "The relationship between" helps set the stage for the conclusion. I also used the word "help" to demonstrate the symbiotic relationship between the two animals. You can even bring up how two organisms of different species are able to help each other.
 +
 +
*"Beaver Dams are Saving the Salmon."
 +
The Chinook salmon, one of the most threatened species of salmon in North America, is making a comeback thanks to the studiousness of beavers. Ever since the removal of the Elwha River dams, previously occupied land has been cleared to give more space for animals to thrive. This shows the correlation between Chinook salmon numbers and the dam's removal; salmon populations decreased by 60% before the dams removal and nearly doubled after the dams were eliminated. Beavers add to the rise in Chinook salmon numbers because their dams, which they build on coastlines, help slow down the river. This attracts insects which sustain the salmon, while the lodges themselves guide younger fish to richer waters. The relationship between beavers and the Chinook salmon shows how one organism can help another adapt to its environment.
 +
 +
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/08/coastal-beavers-help-salmon-recovery-washington/
 +
 +
 +
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----
 +
 +
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“How Does Our Land Usage Affect Climate Change?”
 
“How Does Our Land Usage Affect Climate Change?”
  
Line 5: Line 429:
  
  
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-No edits for your title. Well done, this is a very professional title!
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'''***One of the key issues our planet faces is the dramatic increase in temperature, which is causing a rise in floods and is destroying habitats.***'''
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-Good intro sentence, though it is a bit long. "Issues" is a better word to describe the problems being faced, as opposed to "factors". The tense of "as it causes" is confused, so "which is causing" can infer present tense. "Cause" and "destroy" also become active verbs with "-ing".
 +
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'''***In order to stop climate change, we need to modify the ways we use our earth.***'''
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- Great sentence. I switched "change" to "modify" (your usage was not wrong, I personally don't like to put the same words in one sentence) and "land" to "earth" which is more specific.
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'''***A piece of land can store carbon dioxide or release it into the air, depending on factors like climate, soil, other organisms and human impact.***'''
 +
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- "A piece of land" paints a detailed picture as opposed to just "land". I put "carbon dioxide" after "store" so we can visualize both actions. A comma should be between "air" and "depending" to break the sentence and "factors" helps present the list of subjects. Not many edits!
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'''*** When trees are cut down, they can no longer inhale carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere.***'''
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- Present the subject (trees) before the action (cut). The pronouns here are not necessary-- you can generalize here. Instead of "we lose", show how the subject (trees) is affected, and include "out of the atmosphere" for specification. It's a strange balance, what can be generalized and what should be specified. It will get easier as your reading and writing skills improve (which they already have!)
 +
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'''***Inversely, when a peatland is drained, the debris that is produced releases more carbon dioxide into the air.***'''
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- I added the adverb in the beginning of the sentence to bind it to the previous sentence and show the connectivity of the two ideas. So the previous sentence shows that no carbon is being removed, and this sentence shows that carbon is released. Two opposites that unify to one point.
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'''***It was also discovered that rising livestock and rice production are responsible for the increase of methane gas. ***'''
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- Good sentence! You need "live" in front of "stock", otherwise the audience is confused. Use "gas" to describe and support methane.
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'''***If these problems continue, the planet will eventually become to hot, reducing plant production and increasing the spread of disease.***'''
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- Fantastic conclusion sentence. "These problems" adds specificity. "Get to hot" doesn't sound as elevated as the rest of the piece, so I changed to "become". "Increasing the spread of disease" adds to clarity. Well done! Great article, your writing is really improving.
 +
 +
 +
* “How Does Our Land Usage Affect Climate Change?”
 +
 +
One of the key issues our planet faces is the dramatic increase in temperature, which is causing a rise in floods and is destroying habitats. In order to stop climate change, we need to modify the ways we use our earth. A piece of land can store carbon dioxide or release it into the air, depending on factors like climate, soil, other organisms and human impact. When trees are cut down, they can no longer inhale carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. Inversely, when a peatland is drained, the debris that is produced releases more carbon dioxide into the air. It was also discovered that rising livestock and rice production are responsible for the increase of methane gas. If these problems continue, the planet will eventually become to hot, reducing plant production and increasing the spread of disease.
  
 +
https://www.popsci.com/change-land-use-global-warming-ipcc/
 +
   
  
  

Latest revision as of 18:13, 28 August 2019

“The Long History Of Hong Kong”

Hong Kong today is a very busy and crowded city with thousands of people roaming the streets. Back in time, Hong Kong was a small island for fishing industries and where British trade illegally trades opium with China. Not long many Chinese are addicted to this trade which the government banned the use of opium. On January 1, 1842, China signed the treaty of Nanjing with the British allowing the British to control Hong Kong permanently. In 1856, there was a second opium war were many Chinese soldiers were harmed. Then after the war, the Japanese came to invade China and the British regained its control of Hong Kong. Then communism became popular in China as today China is a communist country. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/hong-kong-history-visualized/


- Great title! Only edit is "of" which should NOT be capitalized.

*** Today, the small island of Hong Kong is a busy and crowded city where thousands of people roam the streets. ***

- Good intro. Have "today" be your opening (it helps set the stage). Use "where" instead of "with" to indicate placement and keep the verb present. I included the description of the city in this sentence because it provides an image that the next sentence is influenced by.

*** However, once Hong Kong was only known for its fishing industry and illegal opium trades between the British and China. ***

- Some repeated words in this sentence, most likely a typo. Try to keep each paranthetical as clear as possible, so the reader can see the distinction between them.

***It was not long before many Chinese became addicted to the drug, even though the government had banned the use of opium.***

- This sentence was VERY confusing! I filled out the sentence with a clearer description and a paranthetical. It seems like you are going in a different direction than the title hints, i.e., more about the opium crisis in Hong Kong, not necessarily its overarching history. We need to see the distinction.

***Hong Kong was put under British rule in 1842, after the First Opium War, when China signed the Treaty of Nanjing.***

- The exact date of the treaty is not needed ("treaty" should also be capitalized). I also added context with "first opium war", otherwise the audience has no idea why the transfer of power was made.

***In 1856, a Second Opium War began for further control over the region, and many Chinese soldiers were killed.***

- Again, "further control..." helps provide context. Otherwise, the information is like a free-for-all!

***Afterwards, Japan attempted to take over the island, but they ultimately failed and Hong Kong remained under British rule.***

- At the point in the paragraph, we have to start finding new words for descriptors so we don't become repetative. This has to be balance with clarity! For example, I used "Hong Kong" as the end of the sentence instead of the pronoun so the audience knows for certain what is being talked about.

***Since then, China has become a communist nation, and Hong Kong continues to struggle for self-determination.***

- Good way to end the paragraph, by bringing us back to the present. "Self-determination" is the key word here; it describes the ultimate struggle of the city and gives us a sense of the city's purpose. Interesting article! Branch out your ideas and try not to be vague!

  • “The Long History of Hong Kong”

Today, the small island of Hong Kong is a busy and crowded city where thousands of people roam the streets. However, once Hong Kong was only known for its fishing industry and illegal opium trades between the British and China. It was not long before many Chinese became addicted to the drug, even though the government had banned the use of opium. Hong Kong was put under British rule in 1842, after the First Opium War, when China signed the Treaty of Nanjing. In 1856, a Second Opium War began for further control over the region, and many Chinese soldiers were killed. Afterwards, Japan attempted to take over the island, but they ultimately failed and Hong Kong remained under British rule. Since then, China has become a communist nation, and Hong Kong continues to struggle for self-determination.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/hong-kong-history-visualized/


“The Amazon Fireforest”

Everyone is aware of the Amazon rain forest as it is one of the largest rainforests in the world. It contained most of the earth's habitats. Today, the rainforest is deteriorating due to human activities. A week ago it is reported that there was a forest fire, however, the fire is still active throughout the week and destroying many homes. Many believed that this was no regular forest fire, but manmade one. Deforestation causes the fire as people cut down the fire, left it to dry, and set it on fire to fertilize the soil. Clear lands are used for cattle to graze their grass. Causing a forest fire just for farming purposes is unacceptable as it destroys many habitats. https://www.popsci.com/amazon-forest-fires/

- No edits for your title, well done.

***The Amazon is the largest rainforst in the world and contains most of the Earth's habitats.***

- Assert the fact and remove the unnecessary "everyone is aware", which weakens your intro. The sentence following this is so brief that it works better in the intro.

***Today, however, the rainforest is deteriorating rapidly because of human activity. ***

-"However" helps mark a transition. I included "rapidly" for specificity and changed "due" to "because"- sometimes the syllable count of a word can impact the flow of the whole sentence.

*** A forest fire that was reported last week is still active and is destroying many homes.***

- I put the subject first to make the sentence linear (ie., noun before the verb). By forming the sentence this way, we can remove a lot of repetition.

***Many also believe that this is no regular forest fire, but one that is man-made. ***

- "Believe" should be present, not past, especially since you are talking about a current event. I also moved "man-made" (which is two words) to the end of the sentence because it is describing the fire (look back to previous edit about linear structure; try to put the subject/noun first).

*** The process of deforestation is the cause of these fires: trees are cut down, left to dry and set on fire to fertilize the soil. ***

- Include "process" for specificity and include the colon to break up the sentence (since you list the steps, a colon is used instead of a semi-colon). Good sentence, very vivid.

***The cleared land is then used for cattle to graze, but the benefits of these fires are too miniscule to justify the destruction of an ecosystem.***

- I like this last thought you are using to conclude the sentence. Just needs to be expressed clearer. I also included the previous sentence in the conclusion to help drive home the final point.

  • “The Amazon Fireforest”

The Amazon is the largest rainforst in the world and contains most of the Earth's habitats. Today, however, the rainforest is deteriorating rapidly because of human activity. A forest fire that was reported last week is still active and is destroying many homes. Many also believe that this is no regular forest fire, but one that is man-made. The process of deforestation is the cause of these fires: trees are cut down, left to dry and set on fire to fertilize the soil. The cleared land is then used for cattle to graze, but the benefits of these fires are too miniscule to justify the destruction of an ecosystem.

https://www.popsci.com/amazon-forest-fires/





“Is it a Girl or a Boy?”

Gender reveals are one of the most exciting events to attend with everyone’s guesses. However, if the outcome of the gender is obvious then it won’t be as exciting. This is the case for a small village in Poland. Where it been a decade since the last boy was born and 12 girls were born instead. There is a 50/50 chance that a baby could be either a boy or a girl and having two girls in a row is more unlikely. So having 12 girls in a row is extremely unlikely as it is rarely likely to happen. Some scientists believed that this could have something to do with genetics. Moreover, some believed that this could also happen to other places as well and it is as likely as having 12 girls in a row. https://www.popsci.com/polish-village-baby-boy-probability/


- Good job with the capitalization in your title. No edits!

***Gender reveals can be dramatic and exciting events, except when the outcome is obvious or anticipated.***

- You take too long getting to/ alluding to the meat of the article. Try to use the intro sentence as a jumping point into your article. In this case, I put together your intro and second sentence-- consolidate and specify!

***This is the case for a small village in Poland where the last 12 babies born there were all girls.***

- Connect the sentences with a comma, dash or semi-colon, or reword them, otherwise your sentence beginning with "where" is not complete. Also, you have to find a way to balance the information so it is presented clearly. There is confusion between "a decade" and "12 girls", so by eliminating "decade" we can assume this has been happening for a while (also, that information doesn't come up in the rest of the paragraph, we can discard it).

***There is always a 50/50 chance that a baby can be either a boy or a girl, so having two girls in a row is unlikely--12 consecutively is an anomaly!***

- Pretty good sentence! Good use of "either/or". Only edit: "more" indicates a comparison (i.e., more than this or that) and since you don't complete the comparison (which you don't need), you can remove "more". I used a dash to bring in the next sentence-- this is an opportunity in the text to include an greater indication of your own voice, particularly with the punctuation. This also keeps the flow of your paragraph sharp.

***However, some scientists believe the answer is tied to genetics.***

- I used the adverb to mark a transition in the paragraph. "Believe" is present tense because nothing has challenged that belief (at least not in your article). "Something to do" is vague. "Tied" at least provides some imagery.

***Many also postulate that this could occur other regions around the world, and perhaps this is not as rare as previously believed.***

- I removed the adverb because my previous sentence begins with an adverb, but I really like your word choice-- choosing an adverb not often used. Your concluding thought needed to be expressed more clearly. Great article! You've been picking some great ones lately.

  • “Is it a Girl or a Boy?”

Gender reveals can be dramatic and exciting events, except when the outcome is obvious or anticipated. This is the case for a small village in Poland where the last 12 babies born there were all girls. There is always a 50/50 chance that a baby can be either a boy or a girl, so having two girls in a row is unlikely--12 consecutively is an anomaly! However, some scientists believe the answer is tied to genetics. Many also postulate that this could occur other regions around the world, and perhaps this is not as rare as previously believed.

https://www.popsci.com/polish-village-baby-boy-probability/







“India Cast System”

Every person's dream is to be successful in their career, be wealthy, and marry their loved ones and live happily ever after. Sadly, this may not apply to India as many Indian still follows the strict cast system. For example, Amrutha and Pranay are a couple who got married without their parent approvals. As a result of this, Amrutha was outrageous and hired a man to kill Pranay who is below their status. Unfortunately, Amrutha and Pranay aren’t the only couples who are facing this problem. There are many other cases reported of couples running away from their families and are seeking protection from the government. In addition, relationships aren’t the only strict factors that people have to follow. It is known that children are not allowed to make friends with kids below their cast system. It is very sorrowful that the person themselves can not choose their partner or friend. https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/a-young-indian-couple-married-for-love-then-the-brides-father-hired-assassins/2019/08/19/3d1ce9a0-a1d0-11e9-a767-d7ab84aef3e9_story.html


*** "Forbidden Love in India's Caste System"***

- The spelling of "caste" is incorrect. Refer to the article if you are confused! I also inluded "forbidden love" to clue the reader to what the article will focus on (we are not focussing on the caste system but relationships in that system). Also, since the caste system belongs to India, possession needs to be shown.

*** Most people dream of being successful, wealthy and in control of their own lives.***

- You are starting the sentence with a generalization/assumption, so the statement should be slightly more vague (to show this is not an assertion but a generalization). This sentence was also very wordy, so I removed and consolidated some phrases.

***Sadly, this is not guaranteed for everyone, particuarly in India where many still follow a strict caste system.***

- I removed "to India"; this is an example of a sentence that has too many unnecessary words/phrases. Simplify your sentence, see what phrases are redundant or unclear.

***Take for example Amrutha and Pranay, a couple who married despiste coming from different caste levels.***

-We need "different caste levels" to provide specificity and clarity. This sentence is a dive into the paragraph, however we do need a smooth connection from your intro into the meat of the text.

***As a result, Amrutha's outraged father hired a hitman to kill Pranay, who was below his daughter in the caste system. ***

-You forgot to indicate to Amrutha's father, and I specified "below his daughter" for further clarity.

***Unfortunately, Amrutha and Pranay are not the only ones who have faced this problem; there are many reported cases of couples who seek government protection after fleeing from their disgruntled families.***

-These two sentences can be connected with a semi-colon to smooth the flow and rhythm you build. I also changed the verb order ("who seek" before "fleeing from")-- this keeps the sentence and actions linear. I used "disgruntled" to decribe "families"

***Even friendships between children from different caste levels is strictly forbidden.***

- I wanted to tie this sentence with the one that follows, however I didn't want to use another semi-colon so I changed the way the sentence begins. This way, a single, slightly weaker sentence will not be used as a transition or change in topic.

***These threats of violence make it impossible for people to be in control of their own lives.***

- The start of your conclusion is too weak to wrap up the sentence! Get straight to the point and show what the artcile's overall message is. Very interesting to read! I like your interpretation of the original piece.

  • "Forbidden Love in India's Caste System"
Most people dream of being successful, wealthy and in control of their own lives. Sadly, this is not guaranteed for everyone, particuarly in India where many still follow a strict caste system. Take for example Amrutha and Pranay, a couple who married despiste coming from different caste levels. As a result, Amrutha's outraged father hired a hitman to kill Pranay, who was below his daughter in the caste system. Unfortunately, Amrutha and Pranay are not the only ones who have faced this problem; there are many reported cases of couples who seek government protection after fleeing from their disgruntled families. Even friendships between children from different caste levels is strictly forbidden. These threats of violence make it impossible for people to be in control of their own lives.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/asia_pacific/a-young-indian-couple-married-for-love-then-the-brides-father-hired-assassins/2019/08/19/3d1ce9a0-a1d0-11e9-a767-d7ab84aef3e9_story.html



“Not Satisfied With Your Toilet Papers?” 

Everyone is busy, especially at this age of time as technologies are booming and many people have many of their own responsibilities. No one really has the time to wonder or think about themselves or if their toilet paper is suitable for them. There is a program for critiquing toilet papers so it matches and satisfied customers. Toilet papers are hard to form as they have to be soft, is strong so it doesn’t break while wiping, have a good smell, and easy to breakdown to be flushed or else the toilet will be a clogged toilet. The real debate is keeping the tissue as soft as possible at the same time making it strong so it doesn’t break while it is used. It is interesting that people are always experimenting and altering something we don’t even consider.  https://www.popsci.com/charmin-secret-poop-lab/

***"Are You Satisfied with Your Toilet Paper?"***

- Your title is posed as a question, direct it to the audience! "With" is a preposition and it is not capitalized.

*** In this booming technological age, many people have their own responsibilities and do not have the time to assess if their toilet paper is suitable for them.***

-By forming the sentence like this, we introduce the subject and start the sentence with a linear flow (a beginning, middle and end). I also used your second sentence to complete the thought.

***However, a program initiated by Charmin's critiques different toilet papers to meet the customer's needs.***

- I changed the tense of the verb "critiquing". Also, "matches" wasn't the best term to suit the sentence. I included the company for specificity.

***Toilet paper must smell pleasant, breakdown easily when flushed and be soft, yet strong enough not to tear when wiping. ***

- The subject is singular, not plural. I changed the presentation of this info for clarity. The sentence's flow was disjointed. "Tear" is also a better word for this association than "break".

***Consumers must also take into account how their choices impact the environment, as most toilet paper is not sustainable. ***

- This sentence was a repetition of the previous one, in terms of the information provided to the audience. I went a different direction to incorporate new information into the paragraph.

*** As consumer's needs change our toilet paper does too, even if we might not realize it.***

- Your conclusion draws us away from the subject, and constrains the final moments of your article.


  • "Are You Satisfied with Your Toilet Paper?"

In this booming technological age, many people have their own responsibilities and do not have the time to assess if their toilet paper is suitable for them. However, a program initiated by Charmin's critiques different toilet papers to meet the customer's needs. Toilet paper must smell pleasant, breakdown easily when flushed and be soft, yet strong enough not to tear when wiping. Consumers must also take into account how their choices impact the environment, as most toilet paper is not sustainable. As consumer's needs change our toilet paper does too, even if we might not realize it.

https://www.popsci.com/charmin-secret-poop-lab/



“Are You Really Healthy?”

If you are sick, it is explanatory to visit the doctor for a check up and medicine. Nevertheless, simply visiting the doctor will not make you healthy or put you a healthy state. As people have surveyed and asked many people with mental issues such as depression and anxieties. Many of those who reported having those issues said they never actually addressed this to their doctors. However, the patients can’t always be blamed for not speaking out, since there are no certainties if the doctor themselves asked their patients. If someone is suffering from such problems it is important to address to their doctor for other health consequences. https://www.popsci.com/stigma-doctor-patient-disclose-depression-assault-abuse/


- No edits for your title, very good! It draws the reader in, the proper words are capitalized and the punctuation is correct. Well done!

***When you are sick, it is imperative to visit the doctor for a diagnosis and subsequent medicine.***

- "Explanatory is not used correctly in this sentence- it has a different meaning than what you are trying to say. Instead, use one of these: essential, important, crucial, paramount, or something similar in meaning. "Check up" assumes something that is routine, so "diagnosis" works better.

***Nevertheless, simply visiting the doctor will not guarantee a healthy state of being; survey's point to physical repercussions experienced by those with mental issues such as depression and anxiety. ***

-I really like your adverb to start the sentence. "Will not make you healthy" is redundant- "healthy state" is enough. The sentence that follows this one is not a complete sentence, it is not a complete thought so I used it in this sentence separated by a semi-colon. This will help tie into the coming sentence.

***Many of those who reported experiencing mental issues said they never actually addressed it with their doctor.***

- I put "experiencing mental" to specify. "To" is replaced with "with"-- indicating a relationship between people.

***However, patients can not always be blamed for not speaking up, since there is no certainty the doctor will ask the patient themselves.***

-Good sentence! Minor edits: I changed "certainty" from plural to singular and moved the pronoun "themselves" to the end of the sentence.

***Mental illnesses are just as detrimental as physical illnesses, and should be discussed routinely with a doctor. ***

- I've noticed a lot of your conclusions end with some form of "it is important"; try to change it up and find new ways to wrap up your article. But I definitely notice an improvement in your writing!

  • “Are You Really Healthy?”

When you are sick, it is imperative to visit the doctor for a diagnosis and subsequent medicine. Nevertheless, simply visiting the doctor will not guarantee a healthy state of being; survey's point to physical repercussions experienced by those with mental issues such as depression and anxiety. Many of those who reported experiencing mental issues said they never actually addressed it with their doctor. However, patients can not always be blamed for not speaking up, since there is no certainty the doctor will ask the patient themselves. Mental illnesses are just as detrimental as physical illnesses, and should be discussed routinely with a doctor.

https://www.popsci.com/stigma-doctor-patient-disclose-depression-assault-abuse/




“Public Bathroom Is Not A Good Idea”

One of the important factors in living a healthy life is eating good nutrition, exercising, and removing excess waste your body doesn't need. People tend to avoid using the term “poop” as it gives a lot of imagery and it is also known for being disrespectful. Many try to avoid pooping in a public bathroom as it is odious and unhealthy for the environment. But in case of emergency, many people will do their business on the soil and dig it up and leave it. This might not seem unnoticeable; however, if many people do it, it would cause many diseases as it is unsanitary. Some places dig up a large pit and once the pit is filled it is covered up and dig another pit far away from other pits. This method is still unsanitary as there are too many wastes to decompose right away. Always stay away from using an outdoor toilet as they are dirty and unhealthy. https://www.popsci.com/composting-toilets-worms/

*** "Public Bathrooms Are Not a Good Idea."***

- "Public" is a plural noun, so the very "is" must also be plural. Not your best title, it's pretty straight forward and not the most imaginative but it does work!

***Some of the most important factors in living a healthy life is good nutrition, exercise, and removing excess waste from the body.***

- Since you list more than one factor, use "some" instead of "one" to start the sentence. "Eating" is not necessary; neither is "doesn't need"- all of this is already inferred with you other descriptions.

***However, passing of waste has a social stigma; people tend to avoid the term "poop", as it is graphic and deemed disrespectful.***

- There needs to be a transition between the intro and this sentence. When making a transition like these, the sentence needs an extra push. Idea's are joined together with the semi-colon.

***Many try to avoid pooping in pubic bathrooms, as they are odious and harmful to the environment.***

- Pretty good sentence! Same edit as in the intro concerning "pubic bathroom". "Harmful" was smoother in the sentence than "unhealthy".

***Nature park patrons will do their business in the soil, leaving it in a hole and covering it with dirt.***

- Some of the description is not needed here. It just makes the sentence confusing. This is also a point where you could specify an area the audience can visualize, otherwise the article becomes confused.

***This might not seem noticeable, however it is extremely unsanitary and would spread disease.***

- I changed some words mainly for specificity, I also put the action very at the end of the sentence.

*** Some dig a large pit and cover it with soil when full, only to dig another pit farther away. ***

- This sentence was good, just needed some clarity. But good job painting a picture!

***This method is still unsanitary, as too much waste is decomposed at one time.***

- Like the previous sentence, this needed clarity and to be untangled.

***Always stay away from outdoor toilets-- they are dirty, hazardous and unhealthy.***

- The dash is a new way to break up the sentence. Same edit with "outdoor toilet" and "public bathroom" with pluralization. I also added another descriptor; I like using three examples.

  • "Public Bathrooms Are Not a Good Idea."

Some of the most important factors in living a healthy life is good nutrition, exercise, and removing excess waste from the body. However, passing of waste has a social stigma; people tend to avoid the term "poop", as it is graphic and deemed disrespectful. Many try to avoid pooping in pubic bathrooms, as they are odious and harmful to the environment. Nature park patrons will do their business in the soil, leaving it in a hole and covering it with dirt. This might not seem noticeable, however it is extremely unsanitary and would spread disease. Some dig a large pit and cover it with soil when full, only to dig another pit farther away. This method is still unsanitary, as too much waste is decomposed at one time. Always stay away from outdoor toilets-- they are dirty, hazardous and unhealthy.

https://www.popsci.com/composting-toilets-worms/







“Trump’s Altering The Endangered Species Act”

On Monday, Trump Administration reported some changes they will make of the endangered species act. It might sound irrelevant to most people, however, this could result in mass animal extinctions. One of these major changes would be the habitats, as climate change is increasing the temperature, more animals are going to out of their current area and move to another. Yet, the government banned those new areas for the animals which gives them less space to live. Not only that, now species that are marked threatened will not have the same protection as endangered species. This means that when a certain species needs protection, it may be too late. It is important to not only focus on the benefits of humans but also the animals. https://www.popsci.com/endangered-species-act-weakened-trump/

*** "Trump Alters the Endangerd Species Act."***

- Good title! I broke down the contraction because it weakens and confuses your title. "Alters" helps us understand this has already happened. Also, articles are not capitalized in titles, unless it is the first word of said title.

***On Monday, the Trump Administration reported some changes they will make to the Endangered Species Act.***

- Good intro! The article is needed before "Trump Administration" to modify the noun. Instead of using "of", use "to" in order to show direction. "Endangered Species Act" is capitalized.

***While this might sound irrelevant to most people, these changes could result in mass animal extinction.***

- I used "while" to mark a transition, I also specified "these changes" for clarity.

***As climate change increases the world's temperature, more animals are leaving their current habitats for new ones.***

- The first part of this section was very confusing; instead, move directly into climate change. This sentence is a great for momentum into your piece. I added words here to gain specificty, like "world's" and "habitats".

*** However, the governement has restricted these areas, giving animals even less space to live.***

- I felt that "however" was a better adverb to start the sentence. "Banned" is very confusing here. I changed it to "restricted".

***Under these new alterations, animals that are marked as threatened will not have the same protection as endangered species.***

-"Not only that" was too conversational; I also changed the first "species" to "animal" (this is a personal choice; I try to avoid using the same word in one sentence).

***This will cause setbacks when a certain species needs protection before it becomes too late.***

- I really like the flow you have built. Your sentences are becoming seamless! "Cause setbacks" helps with description.

***Government agencies need to focus not only on what benefits humans, but our actions how it affects other species.***

-Your conclusion was a bit to straightforward; too limited. "Government agencies" gives specificity, along with "affects" and "our actions". Really good job!

  • "Trump Alters the Endangerd Species Act."

On Monday, the Trump Administration reported some changes they will make to the Endangered Species Act. While this might sound irrelevant to most people, these changes could result in mass animal extinction. As climate change increases the world's temperature, more animals are leaving their current habitats for new ones. However, the governement has restricted these areas, giving animals even less space to live. Under these new alterations, animals that are marked as threatened will not have the same protection as endangered species. This will cause setbacks when a certain species needs protection before it becomes too late. Government agencies need to focus not only on what benefits humans, but our actions how it affects other species.





“Beaver Dams”

Chinook salmons are known to be one of the threatened species of salmon and are now making a comeback thanks to beavers. Ever since the removal of the Elwha River dams, the acres of land increased which gives more space for animals. Before the dam removal, the population of the chinook salmons decreased by 60% since 1984, however, after the dam removal, the population of the salmons doubled. This ties with the beaver dams near the coast of the river as the beaver creates their beaver dams. The dams are super-beneficial during the time of drought for the fish. It also creates a slower pace of water flow which more insects are attracted to giving the fish more food. The beaver lodge physically helps young fish to navigate where the rich water is at. It is amazing how one organism affect the other organisms as they adjust to their own habitats. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/08/coastal-beavers-help-salmon-recovery-washington/

***"Beaver Dams are Saving the Salmon."***

-Your title isn't very descriptive! Have fun with your titles! Use alliteration, hyperbole, anything to excite the reader and draw in our attention. When you look at a newspaper or website, what titles stick out to you? What makes you want to read more? Frame your titles in this way.

*** The Chinook salmon, one of the most threatened species of salmon in North America, is making a comeback thanks to the studiousness of beavers.***

- Great first sentence. I used commas to separate the parenthetical and I specified North America for detail. Similarly, I used "studiousness" to describe the beavers and give the reader a clue into the article.

*** Ever since the removal of the Elwha River dams, previously occupied land has been cleared to give more space for animals to thrive.***

- Some of your phrasing in this sentence was confusing; I tried to give clarity to your fact, and added "to thrive" as further explanation/ description. I'm not sure if this sentence is important to the rest of the piece. It seems like this information is the most confusing because it is not as connected to the topic as the other facts.

***This shows the correlation between Chinook salmon numbers and the dam's removal; salmon populations decreased by 60% before the dams removal and nearly doubled after the dams were eliminated.***

- The information in this sentence was great but needs to be presented clearer. I used "correlation" to set up the comparison and the semi-colon to present the information in a clear way.

***Beavers add to the rise in Chinook salmon numbers because their dams, which they build on coastlines, help slow down the river.***

- I had a difficult time introducing the beavers into this piece because of the second sentence. There is a very brief transition, so connecting the two ideas is not as seamless as it could be. I recommend, when you outline the paragraph, to make sure the each idea is connected to the previous one.

***This attracts insects which sustain the salmon, while the lodges themselves guide younger fish to richer waters.***

- I put together the two facts so the paragraph isn't as long. I also tried to keep the pace of the paragraph fluid, instead of the briefer sentences which slow down the whole article.

***The relationship between beavers and the Chinook salmon shows how one organism can help another adapt to its environment.***

- Good final sentence! "The relationship between" helps set the stage for the conclusion. I also used the word "help" to demonstrate the symbiotic relationship between the two animals. You can even bring up how two organisms of different species are able to help each other.

  • "Beaver Dams are Saving the Salmon."

The Chinook salmon, one of the most threatened species of salmon in North America, is making a comeback thanks to the studiousness of beavers. Ever since the removal of the Elwha River dams, previously occupied land has been cleared to give more space for animals to thrive. This shows the correlation between Chinook salmon numbers and the dam's removal; salmon populations decreased by 60% before the dams removal and nearly doubled after the dams were eliminated. Beavers add to the rise in Chinook salmon numbers because their dams, which they build on coastlines, help slow down the river. This attracts insects which sustain the salmon, while the lodges themselves guide younger fish to richer waters. The relationship between beavers and the Chinook salmon shows how one organism can help another adapt to its environment.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/08/coastal-beavers-help-salmon-recovery-washington/





“How Does Our Land Usage Affect Climate Change?”

One of the key factors our planet face is the dramatic increase in temperature, as it causes more floods and destroyed habitats. In order to stop climate change, we need to first change how we use our land. Land can store or release carbon dioxide into the air depending on the climate, soil, organisms, and human impact. When we cut down trees, we lose the trees that inhale the carbon dioxide. If we drain a peatland, this will create more debris in the air and release more carbon in the air. It is found that rising numbers of stocks and rice production are responsible for the increase of methane. If this continues, eventually the planet will get too hot and reduce crop productions and increase more diseases. https://www.popsci.com/change-land-use-global-warming-ipcc/


-No edits for your title. Well done, this is a very professional title!

***One of the key issues our planet faces is the dramatic increase in temperature, which is causing a rise in floods and is destroying habitats.***

-Good intro sentence, though it is a bit long. "Issues" is a better word to describe the problems being faced, as opposed to "factors". The tense of "as it causes" is confused, so "which is causing" can infer present tense. "Cause" and "destroy" also become active verbs with "-ing".

***In order to stop climate change, we need to modify the ways we use our earth.***

- Great sentence. I switched "change" to "modify" (your usage was not wrong, I personally don't like to put the same words in one sentence) and "land" to "earth" which is more specific.

***A piece of land can store carbon dioxide or release it into the air, depending on factors like climate, soil, other organisms and human impact.***

- "A piece of land" paints a detailed picture as opposed to just "land". I put "carbon dioxide" after "store" so we can visualize both actions. A comma should be between "air" and "depending" to break the sentence and "factors" helps present the list of subjects. Not many edits!

*** When trees are cut down, they can no longer inhale carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere.***

- Present the subject (trees) before the action (cut). The pronouns here are not necessary-- you can generalize here. Instead of "we lose", show how the subject (trees) is affected, and include "out of the atmosphere" for specification. It's a strange balance, what can be generalized and what should be specified. It will get easier as your reading and writing skills improve (which they already have!)

***Inversely, when a peatland is drained, the debris that is produced releases more carbon dioxide into the air.***

- I added the adverb in the beginning of the sentence to bind it to the previous sentence and show the connectivity of the two ideas. So the previous sentence shows that no carbon is being removed, and this sentence shows that carbon is released. Two opposites that unify to one point.

***It was also discovered that rising livestock and rice production are responsible for the increase of methane gas. ***

- Good sentence! You need "live" in front of "stock", otherwise the audience is confused. Use "gas" to describe and support methane.

***If these problems continue, the planet will eventually become to hot, reducing plant production and increasing the spread of disease.***

- Fantastic conclusion sentence. "These problems" adds specificity. "Get to hot" doesn't sound as elevated as the rest of the piece, so I changed to "become". "Increasing the spread of disease" adds to clarity. Well done! Great article, your writing is really improving.


  • “How Does Our Land Usage Affect Climate Change?”

One of the key issues our planet faces is the dramatic increase in temperature, which is causing a rise in floods and is destroying habitats. In order to stop climate change, we need to modify the ways we use our earth. A piece of land can store carbon dioxide or release it into the air, depending on factors like climate, soil, other organisms and human impact. When trees are cut down, they can no longer inhale carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere. Inversely, when a peatland is drained, the debris that is produced releases more carbon dioxide into the air. It was also discovered that rising livestock and rice production are responsible for the increase of methane gas. If these problems continue, the planet will eventually become to hot, reducing plant production and increasing the spread of disease.

https://www.popsci.com/change-land-use-global-warming-ipcc/




“Dinosaur’s Eggs”

Fossils are not only exciting to look at but are very informative to learn from. Even a dinosaur egg can provide more information about their parenting behaviors. In Mongolia at the are of Javkhlant in Gobi Desert, scientists found what is a very well preserved dinosaur eggs that came from theropod dinosaurs. It is to be believed that the condition of the egg can help scientists learn more about how dinosaurs took care of their nests. There is a great possibility that the eggs are protected as a community than individually as many eggs are clustered together. The egg’s shells have similar pores as crocodilian’s eggs since they have high porosity pores. This lets the developing embryos breathe better in the damp and low-oxygenated areas. Learning from fossils is thrilling however, it doesn’t beat the idea of studying dinosaur’s eggs. https://www.popsci.com/dinosaur-eggs-and-parental-behavior/

***"What Dinosaur Eggs can Teach Us."***

-Your titles aren't complete! This edit gives the reader more information about the article.

***Fossils are not only exciting to look at, but also provide vital information about prehistoric life. ***

- Good first sentence! There is a comma before "but", and "very informative to learn from" did not flow well, so it is changed to "provide vital information"; "prehistoric life" completes the description of the information.

***Even a fossilized egg can tell us a great deal about a dinosaur's parenting behavior.***

- I used "fossilized so "dinosaur" can replace the pronoun "they"- the way you phrase the sentence makes it seem as if the parenting comes from the dinosaur egg.

***In the Javkhlant area of Mongolia's Gobi desert, scientists found a cluster of well-preserved theropod dinosaur eggs.***

- I arranged the sentence for clarity, particularly when describing the location of the eggs. "Cluster" is a good indicator to show there are many eggs. You also do not need "that came from"; intermediate phrases like this are unnecessary and slow up your article.

***The conditions of these eggs helped scientists learn more about how dinosaurs took care of their nests.***

- Good sentence! "It is to be believed" is another one of those unnecessary phrases; try to be as direct as possible and assert the fact! This has been proven so there is nothing to be believed, we know it is true!

***There is great indication that the eggs were protected by the community rather than individually since many eggs were discovered in groups.***

- Good sentence, too! I changed "possibility" to "indication" for word choice, and "rather" must be including to indicate a comparision. Similarly, "since" unfolds the information in a more defined way than "as". I removed "clustered" because we used that description before (in my edits, so really you used the word properly).

***The egg's shell has a high porosity, similar to crocodile eggs, which allows the developing embryo to breath better.***

- Another good sentence, though I removed some phrases that were too similar to the original article. I also brought in information from the next sentence because this "Pores" is not needed as "porosity" is the noun. "Crocodilian" can be simplified to "crocodile"- this sentence shows how important tense is and to remain consistent with tense (which can be hard at times!)

***Learning from fossils might be thrilling, but what we can discover from dinosaur eggs is exponential.***

- I like what you are trying to do with this conclusion, however it does come across a bit too colloquial. "Exponential" is a better descriptor than "it doesn't beat". Interesting piece!


  • "What Dinosaur Eggs can Teach Us."

Fossils are not only exciting to look at, but also provide vital information about prehistoric life. Even a fossilized egg can tell us a great deal about a dinosaur's parenting behavior. In the Javkhlant area of Mongolia's Gobi desert, scientists found a cluster of well-preserved theropod dinosaur eggs. The conditions of these eggs helped scientists learn more about how dinosaurs took care of their nests. There is great indication that the eggs were protected by the community rather than individually since many eggs were discovered in groups. The egg's shell has a high porosity, similar to crocodile eggs, which allows the developing embryo to breath better. Learning from fossils might be thrilling, but what we can discover from dinosaur eggs is exponential. https://www.popsci.com/dinosaur-eggs-and-parental-behavior/





"Why Do Women Get Alzheimer More Than Men?"

It is found that women are more likely to experience memory loss compare to men. It is proven that women can develop more illness compare to men because of the amount of stress they have. It is not surprising that women have twice the chance of getting Alzheimer's than men and scientists believed it might correlate to the sex hormone cortisol. The hormone cortisol is produced as stress increases with age in a person, 60 to 70 years old women produce three times as much cortisol as men. However, this doesn't study isn't as accurate as memory loss can also associate with aging. As a result, scientists began an experiment if stress has a correlation with memory loss by giving a memorization test. It is found that women with a stressful life did worse and are unable to memorize fewer words compare to others. It is important to take care of your own physical health as well as mental health. https://www.popsci.com/women-stress-memory-loss/

***"Why do Women Get Alzheimer's More Frequently than Men?"***

- Good title! For titles, the only things you don't capitalize are prepositions, articles and conjunctions. The adverb "frequently" helps complete the sentence.

***Scientists discovered that women are more likely to experience memory loss compared to men.***

-Good intro sentence! I specified "scientists" so your statement is immediately backed with proof. "Discovered" is more scientific in wording than "found", and more elevated. "Compare" needs to be in the past tense since "discovered" is past tense and "compare" is connected to the discovery.

***Women develop memory-related illnesses at a higher rate because out the amount of stress they are under.***

-You can remove "it is proven" because you already allude to the proof in the previous sentence . You also need something to describe "illness" since the reader can assume this refers to any type of bodily illness (keep in mind, when you write, that the reader knows very little about your subject and you can never assume we know something absolute as you do). "Higher rate" makes us think of statistics and scientific backing rather than "compare". Lastly, we change the verb "have" to the preposition "under", not only to refer to the subject, but to keep the sentence from ending in a verb, which can make the sentence weak.

***They have twice the chance to get Alzheimer's compared to men, which scientists believe correlates to the sex hormone, cortisol.***

- This is a personal choice, but I changed "women" to "they" so it contrasts to the start of the previous sentence. "Getting" implies they are in the act of getting, so it becomes "get" instead. The very "compared" needs to be included to support the noun "men" . "Which" is a better transitional word than the conjunction "and". "Correlates" also needs to be plural because the information being given in plural.

***Cortisol is produced as stress increases with age; 60 to 70 year old women produce three times as much cortisol men.***

- Great sentence! You don't need "hormone" in the beginning of the sentence because you give us this info in the previous sentence. Separating the sentence with a semi-colon instead of a comma shows the reader that we are receiving new information connected to the previous fact. Well done!

***However, this study is not completely accurate as memory loss can be associated with aging.***

- Another great sentence! Two edits, though one is a personal choice. I broke "isn't" out of its contraction form. This can make the sentence stronger and less conversational. But this is personal choice! Lastly, "completely" is better in supporting "accurate" than "as".

***As a result, scientists began an experiment using memorization tests to see if stress has a correlation to memory loss.***

-Another good sentence, just needs to be a little clearer. I aligned the sentence so it follows a linear story: scientists began an experiment, this is what they used and this is what they want to find. The audience like neatness in their sentences!

***It was discovered that women with stressful lives were unable to memorize as many words as other women.***

- I used "discover" for the same reasons as in the intro sentence. "Stressful lives" is pluralized because it refers to "women" which is plural. You can also remove "did worse" because you establish that they couldn't memorize as many words.

***This study stresses, to both men and women, the importance of living a calm, stress-free life.***

- Your conclusion was not very strong to wrap up an article with some great sentences and presented facts! The conclusion is a summary, a new realization brought about by the information given. What should the reader know most walking away from this article? That is your conclusion!


  • "Why do Women Get Alzheimer's More Frequently than Men?"

Scientists discovered that women are more likely to experience memory loss compared to men. Women develop memory-related illnesses at a higher rate because out the amount of stress they are under. They have twice the chance to get Alzheimer's compared to men, which scientists believe correlates to the sex hormone, cortisol. Cortisol is produced as stress increases with age; 60 to 70 year old women produce three times as much cortisol men. However, this study is not completely accurate as memory loss can be associated with aging. As a result, scientists began an experiment using memorization tests to see if stress has a correlation to memory loss. It was discovered that women with stressful lives were unable to memorize as many words as other women. This study stresses, to both men and women, the importance of living a calm, stress-free life. https://www.popsci.com/women-stress-memory-loss/




“Are The Chickens Happy?”

You can easily distinguish between a happy dog and a sad dog. A happy dog will wag his tail to the right and will be playful if he is happy. This concept cannot be applied for chickens as we can’t understand their behaviors. For many people, a happy animal is an animal that plays and is active. It is seen that animals don’t play when they are scared, injured, and there is no food. If an animal is not playing then it is believed that the animal is unhappy or is depressed. For chicken, their playing behaviors are called sparring, frolicking, and food-running. Chickens are not the only animals that show this behavior as wolves, pigs, seals, calves, and monkeys behave the same way. It is important to keep in check with your animal's health both physically and mentally. https://www.popsci.com/chicken-emotion-happiness-animal-welfare/

***"Are Chickens Happy?"***

-Good title! The article "the" is not necessary because you are referring to chickens in general, not a specific group of chickens.

*** For most people, it is easy to distinguish between a happy, active animal and an animal in distress.***

- By starting the article with dogs as the example, the reader thinks the article will be about dogs. Your third sentence had elements to make a good into sentence, (though I changed "many" to "most" to generalize/elude to a large group of people). I also changed "sad" to "distress" for word choice.

***Chickens, however, are an exception to this concept since we cannot understand their behavior.***

-I put the subject, "chickens", first to indicate the subject and tell the reader that we are getting into the meat of the article. I changed "cannot be applied" to "an exception" for flow- long phrases like that tend to trip up the tongue. "Behavior" is singular, since it is a generalization- one chicken's behavior is most likely similar to another's.

***People believe that play is an indicator of emotion; a happy animal will play while a scared or injured animal will not.***

-You are trying to use this sentence, and the one that follows, to connect too many ideas together, even though I see you are trying to connect this behavior to chickens. Instead, if formed like this, the sentence presents the hypothesis (play indicates emotion) and the evidence to support it (sentence after the semi-colon)

***For chickens, their playing behaviors are expressed through sparring and frolicking.***

-Good sentence. I took away "food-running" because it is a confusing term with a limited definition (the original article was no help on that front). Also, "frolicking and sparring" are human adjectives, given not solely to on thing so we can remove "are called" and change it to "are expressed".

***Chickens are not the only animals to display this behavior; wolves, pigs, and seals all exhibit these acts of play.***

-Also a good sentence! Though you slide a bit to close to plagiarism when you list the different animals. I separated the sentence with a semi-colon to slow down the sentence (also for the reasons in the 3rd edit). "Acts of play" also changes up the language.

***It is important that chicken owners be aware of their animal's physical and mental health.***

- I specified "chicken owners" and changed the adverbs "physically" and "mentally" to nouns.


  • "Are Chickens Happy?"

For most people, it is easy to distinguish between a happy, active animal and an animal in distress. Chickens, however, are an exception to this concept since we cannot understand their behavior. People believe that play is an indicator of emotion; a happy animal will play while a scared or injured animal will not. For chickens, their playing behaviors are expressed through sparring and frolicking. Chickens are not the only animals to display this behavior; wolves, pigs, and seals all exhibit these acts of play. It is important that chicken owners be aware of their animal's physical and mental health.

https://www.popsci.com/chicken-emotion-happiness-animal-welfare/




“Seabirds Next Meal”

Seabirds are consuming a lot of plastics that are affecting their overall health. They usually hunt and feed their chicks at night, since the ocean is mostly covered with water, many seabirds mistake plastic for food. Consuming a lot of plastic will result in death but consuming some can cause huge health risks. Once a chick consumes plastic, the toxic chemical will be released and affect how the chick grows up. If a chick ate plastic it will have high cholesterol levels and shorter bill and head size. It also affects their kidney by releasing and spreading more uric acids in their bodies. It is known to the public that seabirds are dying by consuming a lot of plastics which is not really true, however, it is important to be careful of what you put in the ocean. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/08/seabirds-eat-plastic-major-health-effects/


***"What's in a Seabird's Next Meal?"*** -Your title doesn't tell us much about the article. When in doubt, turn your title into a question; this will hopefully give you some direction and may even help keep focus in the rest of the article. ("Seabird" must have "'s" to indicate possession.


***As pollution rises, seabirds are consuming a great deal of plastic, which is adversely affecting their overall health.*** -I included "as pollution rises" to start the paragraph; this sets up the scene and tells us immediately what the article will be about. Good job with "affect"! I had to review myself to see what is proper. Well done!

***Seabirds usually hunt and feed their chicks at night, and often mistake plastic for food.*** - Pretty good sentence. I removed "mostly covered with water"- very confusing and unnecessary. I get what you are trying to say, but it is accomplished already.

***Even the consumption of small amounts of plastic can cause huge health risks.*** - The distinction you are trying to make doesn't come across as clearly as you intended. Rather than stating something more obvious (eating plastic will cause death) it is much more compelling and in line with the article to stress how even small amounts of plastic are dangerous.

***Once a chick ingests plastic, toxic chemicals are released and affect its development.*** - I changed "consumes" to "ingest" to change up the word choice. Also, "will be released" is in future tense when "are released" indicates present tense. "development" is a better way to say "grows up". Small word changes can greatly impact your article and will make you sound confident in your writing.

***The physical repercussions of eating plastic include a high cholesterol level, a shorter bill and a smaller head size.*** -You phrase this sentence almost like a hypothetical; "physical repercussions" allows us to present the facts in list format (which is a clear and concise way to present information).

***Plastic also affects the seabird's kidneys and accelerates the spread of uric acid throughout their bodies.*** -Good sentence. I specified "plastic" so the reader knows what the subject is as soon as the sentence begins. "Accelerates" is more concise to describe what is happening.

***While seabirds are not dying directly from plastic consumption, like the public believes, it is still important to keep plastic out of the oceans.*** - This sentence was confusing, not only in the phrasing but the idea presented. By beginning the sentence with "while" we can set up the conclusion to have a clear rhythm and move from an untrue statement to a true one. Clarity is key!


  • "What's in a Seabird's Next Meal?"

As pollution rises, seabirds are consuming a great deal of plastic, which is adversely affecting their overall health. Seabirds usually hunt and feed their chicks at night, and often mistake plastic for food. Even the consumption of small amounts of plastic can cause huge health risks. Once a chick ingests plastic, toxic chemicals are released and affect its development. The physical repercussions of eating plastic include a high cholesterol level, a shorter bill and a smaller head size. Plastic also affects the seabird's kidneys and accelerates the spread of uric acid throughout their bodies. While seabirds are not dying directly from plastic consumption, like the public believes, it is still important to keep plastic out of the oceans.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/08/seabirds-eat-plastic-major-health-effects/




“Menstrual Cups Or Normal Pads”

During girl menstruation, she has two options to choose from a pad or a tampon. Both materials are popular and common usage for most girls but this can create a lot of waste. Tampons take about 6 months while pads take about 500 to 800 years to breakdown. When using a menstrual cup it will last up to a lifetime. There are also some health benefits as well, it is found that when using the cup it reduces the chance of having vaginal infections and that not it buying the cup will be cheaper compared to buying pads or tampons. However, there are some health risks as using the cup can cause toxic shock syndrome. It is up to the person to decide what they want to use and for them to feel comfortable. https://www.popsci.com/menstrual-cups-safe-effective/


***"Are Menstrual Cups Better than Normal Pads?"***

-By posing the title as a question, you can draw in the reader (we want to know the answer!) and immediately introduce the subject of your article. Also, titles get punctuation!


***During menstruation, a woman has two options to choose from: either a pad or a tampon.***

-"During menstruation" implies womanhood so "girl" is unnecessary, especially if you reiterate it with the pronoun "she". Instead, we can change out the pronoun with "women". I included the colon because you are listing nouns, and when using "or" to distinguish between two things, use "either" before the first noun.

***While both are popular and commonly used, these items create a great deal of waste.***

- Good job keeping the subject at the start of the sentence. Together with "While", you do a good job of setting up the sentence and its exposition, namely that the subject creates waste. Your use of the word "material" is somewhat confusing. Do the actual items create waste or do the material the items are made from produce waste? I referred to the article and I'm confident you mean the actual products, so I substituted "materials" with "items". Similarly, "also" is a vague word; you can strengthen your article by switching out these words for more specific ones. Lastly, I removed "can". You are asserting a fact, let you writing mimic that assertion!

***Tampons and pads break down after 6 months and 500 to 800 years, respectively, while menstrual cups last a lifetime.***

- This was a tricky sentence, though you did a good job! I structured the sentence like this to avoid duplicate words/phrases (normally, I would say to consult a thesaurus, but "break down" really does accomplish what you want to say here). I also kept the subjects together and ended the sentence with "respectively" to indicate the amount of time connected to each item. I also added the next sentence to this one to complete the comparison.

***There are also health benefits to using a menstrual cup, like reduced vaginal infections.***

-"Some" is vague and weakens your sentence! I cut this sentence down; because the first part of the sentence addresses health benefits, it is stronger to separate the second example as it is not related. You can take the time you need to clearly state your facts, you don't have to squish everything into one sentence! I also specified "a menstrual cup" as opposed to "it", which is vague.

***A menstrual cup is also cheaper than continuously buying tampons and pads.***

- Since the sentence was broken from the previous one, it works to introduce the subject again. Also, I included "continuously buying" since this is the main statement of the sentence, indicating/ summarizing the main point of the article.

***Unfortunately, the menstrual cup can also cause deadly toxic shock syndrome.***

- "Unfortunately" sets the somber tone of the sentence much better that "however", which can be a weak transition. I used the adverb "deadly" to describe the syndrome instead of "some health risks" since you only include one such risk.

***It is ultimately up to the individual to decide which option makes them the most comfortable.***

- I included "ultimately" to signal the conclusion. I also change "the person" to "the individual" since the article used refers to many people and "person" is singular. "The individual" suggests a larger group of people while simultaneous signalling a single being of that group.


  • "Are Menstrual Cups Better than Normal Pads?"

During menstruation, a woman has two options to choose from: either a pad or a tampon. While both are popular and commonly used, these items create a great deal of waste. Tampons and pads break down after 6 months and 500 to 800 years, respectively, while menstrual cups last a lifetime. There are also health benefits to using a menstrual cup, like reduced vaginal infections. A menstrual cup is also cheaper than continuously buying tampons and pads. Unfortunately, the menstrual cup can also cause deadly toxic shock syndrome. It is ultimately up to the individual to decide which option makes them the most comfortable. https://www.popsci.com/menstrual-cups-safe-effective/





“Don’t Let Mosquitoes Bite”

We all remember the time of the Zika Virus outbreak when many people are afraid to go out during summer afraid to get bit by mosquitoes and avoiding many people as possible. Now it seems like the virus got tamed, however, in Florida people are facing a different virus called Eastern equine encephalitis virus. It is believed that the mosquitoes got the disease from birds and passed the disease to another mosquito which transmitted into the human body. In addition, it is proved that warmer climate will have a higher chance of extracting the disease as mosquitoes live in hot, humid, and swampy areas. It is important that a person living in these areas to get a checkup and vaccination. https://www.popsci.com/mosquitoes-EEEV-virus-florida/

***Don't Let the Mosquitoes Bite*** - By including the article "the", we can refer directly to the subject. Otherwise, great title!

***When the Zika Virus outbreak occurred in the summer of 2016, many people were afraid to go outside and get bitten by contaminated mosquitoes.*** -You start this sentence off with a generalization; perhaps there are those who do not remember the Zika outbreak. I specified when this occurred as it becomes unclear what virus you will discuss in the article. By framing the sentence this way, the reader knows that Zika is not the subject of the article but is used to compare and connect the audience to the subject. We also have to specify somehow that the virus is transmitted by mosquitoes and "bit" becomes "bitten", a past participle verb to show action of the past.

***While the virus has been tamed, Floridians are now facing an outbreak of the Eastern equine encephalitis virus.*** - I changed "now" to the adverb "while" to show how one virus is contained as another becomes more prevalent. I also moved "now" to later in the sentence to continue to show that we are talking about something new (this way we can take away the unspecific "different". "Florida people" is changed to "Floridians" for clarity.

***It is believed that mosquitoes acquire the virus from birds and then transmit it to the human body.*** - "Mosquitoes got" implies action of the past. I changed "got" to "acquire" for word choice, and, since it is singular, transmitted" must follow suit to become "transmit". The fact from this sentence is somewhat complicated and varying from the article. I recommend rereading the paragraph this info was taken from and then form a linear plan to lay down the info in the clearest way possible.

***Additionally, studies show that people who live in warmer climates have a higher chance of contracting the virus, since mosquitoes live in hot, humid and swampy areas.*** - "In addition" is used more often when it is being compared to something in the same sentence, so we can change this to the adverb "additionally". You need to specify what proof demonstrates this and from where (especially if the article gives that info!) Also, the way this sentence is phrased reads as if the climate is receiving the virus, not attracting mosquitoes who cause the virus. Adding "people" clarifies the sentence.

***It is important for people who live in these kinds of areas to receive regular check-ups and vaccinations.*** - "Living" becomes "who live" to make the sentence stronger. "These" refers to one specific area, so by saying "these kinds of areas", you can taken yourself a step farther and prove that any area with this climate would/could have this problem.


  • "Don't Let the Mosquitoes Bite."

When the Zika Virus outbreak occurred in the summer of 2016, many people were afraid to go outside and get bitten by contaminated mosquitoes. While the virus has been tamed, Floridians are now facing an outbreak of the Eastern equine encephalitis virus. It is believed that mosquitoes acquire the virus from birds and then transmit it to the human body. Additionally, studies show that people who live in warmer climates have a higher chance of contracting the virus, since mosquitoes live in hot, humid and swampy areas. It is important for people who live in these kinds of areas to receive regular check-ups and vaccinations. https://www.popsci.com/mosquitoes-EEEV-virus-florida/




“Dinosaurs Mass Extinction”

Scientists are still puzzled about the cause of the huge dinosaur extinction that could wipe out all the populations. The famous explanation is made by Luis and Walter Alveraz who believed that a meteoroid sized of a mountain slammed into the earth 66 million years ago. This crash let out many debris and dust that change the climate and ended up killing many dinosaurs. Some scientists believed that the earth itself was the reason for the mass extinction as there was a big volcano eruption. It makes more sense to the scientists as volcanoes eruption are more frequent and more reasonable. It is still uncertain what could have caused the extinction of many species of dinosaurs. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/prehistoric-world/dinosaur-extinction/


***"What Caused the Mass Extinction of the Dinosaurs?"***

-You title was not a complete statement and told us in to basic of terms what the article will be about. Titles are where you can have fun! There can be some great titles to pair with this article, get creative and play around with what sounds enticing!

***Scientists are still puzzled about what exactly cause the mass extinction of the dinosaurs.***

-"What exactly" tells the reader that we are going to be presented with different theories, which tells us the main direction of the article. Also, "extinction" is unnecessary as "mass extinction" and the pluralized "dinosaur" implies all populations were wiped out.

***The most famous explanation was made by Luis and Walter Alveraz, who theorize that a meteoroid the size of a mountain slammed into the earth 66 million years ago.***

- Pretty much a well formed sentence! Adding "most" tells the reader that this is the main argument of the article. "Is"changes to "was" to indicate that the theory is not a new one. The parenthetic "who" marks a shift/continuation of the previous expression, so it needs a comma. "Believed" can be changed to "theorize" for to heighten and change up the language . While you are talking about an incident of the past, "sized" should not be in past tense since you are describing the meteor.

***This crash would have sent debris and dust into the atmosphere, changing the climate and resulting in the demise of the dinosaurs.***

- I included "would have sent" to remind the reader that this is a theory, not proven fact and to clarify "let out many". I also split the sentence in two and changed "ended up killing" which was too colloquial, or conversational. Thesaurus's are great!

***Some scientist believe that the earth itself was the cause of the mass extinction; it was most likely a volcanic eruption.***

- "Believed" should not be past tense as this is a continued belief. I changed "reason" to "cause" simply because I feel it is more scientific, which goes in hand with the article. I separated the sentence into two with a semi-colon for clarity.

***This is a more reasonable idea, as volcanoes erupt more frequently than meteors crash to Earth.***

- "Reasonable" is a descriptor of the idea, so they should be closer together in the sentence. "Eruption" is being used as a noun, not a verb. I also included "meteors crash to Earth" to show you are comparing volcanoes and meteors. Also, good job keeping "earth" lowercase in the proper situation.

***Despite these theories, we still are unsure what caused the mass extinction of the dinosaurs.***

- "Despite these theories" is used to transition into the conclusion, and "we" is used to imply it is universally unknown. In this sentence "unsure" sounded more powerful than "uncertain". Lastly, same note as intro section; we do not need "species", it is already implied.


  • "What Caused the Mass Extinction of the Dinosaurs?"

Scientists are still puzzled about what exactly cause the mass extinction of the dinosaurs. The most famous explanation was made by Luis and Walter Alveraz, who theorize that a meteoroid the size of a mountain slammed into the earth 66 million years ago. This crash would have sent debris and dust into the atmosphere, changing the climate and resulting in the demise of the dinosaurs. Some scientist believe that the earth itself was the cause of the mass extinction; it was most likely a volcanic eruption. This is a more reasonable idea, as volcanoes erupt more frequently than meteors crash to Earth. Despite these theories, we still are unsure what caused the mass extinction of the dinosaurs.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/prehistoric-world/dinosaur-extinction/




"Whales Eating Sealion"

At this time of the season, it is common to spotted whales during their feeding season. They would eat the school of anchovies and small little planktons. However, one day a photographer got his rarest shot he would ever get in his life. He captured a picture of a whale engulfing a Sealion. Scientists believed this was a mistake as both predators eat similar foods and similar scenarios had happened but not with a Sealion before. Whales throats are the size of a human fist in a normal state so it is not meant to swallow large animals. Even though not sure rather if the Sealion made it or not most scientists believed that it was able to escape before the whale close its mouth. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/humpback-whale-sea-lion-mouth-photo/

***Whale Eats Sea Lion*** - I changed "eating" into "eats" so it is no longer an active verb, which makes the title more direct. Also, "sea lion" is two words. Take direction from the article when you are unsure!

***Whales are often spotted with more frequency as their feeding season begins.*** - I began the sentence with the subject (whales) for clarity and direction. The intro is perhaps the most important sentence in the article and has to flow well. If this sentence is confused, the rest of your article will be too!

*** They mainly eat schools of anchovies and small plankton, despite their large size.*** - I changed "would" to "mainly" to set up the next sentence and the difference between a whale eating small plankton to a huge sea lion. I also included "despite their large size" to show that this large animal primary eats smaller creatures. This sentence sets up the big reveal in your remaining article.

***However, one photographer was able to capture the rarest shot of his career: a whale with a sea lion in its mouth.*** - I removed "day" as it is unnecessary to the sentence, and I switched "got" to "capture" for word choice. I included your next sentence in this section to complete the thought with a colon. Also, your use of the word "engulfing" is confusing so I changed it to a fuller explanation to avoid a mix-up.

***Scientists believe this was a case of mistaken identity, as both predators eat similar foods and incidents like this have occur before, although not with sea lions.*** - By including "case of mistaken identity" we use language that is similar to that of a case file or investigation which adds dynamic to your article. I also changed "but" to "although" as two conjunctions in the sentence can make it sound like a run-on.

*** A whale's throat, in its normal state, is the size of a human fist and is not meant to swallow larger animals.*** - "Whales throat" needs to have an article before it for specificity. Also "in its normal state" is an aside so it needs commas.

***Even though it is still unknown if the sea lion survived the attack, scientists suspect it was able to escape before the whale closed its mouth.*** - The way your form the sentence makes it confusing as to who is posing the question of the sea lion's survival. I also used "survived" instead of "made it or not" to cut out unnecessary wording.


  • "Whale Eats Sea lion"

Whales are often spotted with more frequency as their feeding season begins. They mainly eat schools of anchovies and small plankton, despite their large size. However, one photographer was able to capture the rarest shot of his career: a whale with a sea lion in its mouth. Scientists believe this was a case of mistaken identity, as both predators eat similar foods and incidents like this have occur before, although not with sea lions. A whale's throat, in its normal state, is the size of a human fist and is not meant to swallow larger animals. Even though it is still unknown if the sea lion survived the attack, scientists suspect it was able to escape before the whale closed its mouth. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/humpback-whale-sea-lion-mouth-photo/





“Asteroids Coming To Earth”

Just this Thursday, scientists discovered that an asteroid just passed earth at approximately 45,000 miles away from Earth. It is closer to Earth than our moon which is 240,000 away from Earth. Anything rocky that is closer to the moon is uncomfortable and nerve-wracking for us to know. However, asteroids aren’t as scary as the news or media portrayed it to be so. They travel at a fast and burning rate that makes it break off its small rocks. It is truly terrifying to know when the next asteroid will pass earth unalarmed. https://www.popsci.com/asteroid-close-earth-ok-2019/

*** Asteroids are Coming to Earth*** - "Coming" is a verb so it needs the modifier beforehand- "I am coming to town, I will be coming to the party, etc"

*** Just this Thursday, scientists realized that an asteroid came dangerously close to our planet.***

- Don't try to include a fact into your intro sentence. Rather, use this sentence as a summary and set up for the rest of your article. "Dangerously close" achieves that set up, and switching "discovered" to "realized" reiterates that it was an observation not a discovery of something unknown. Also, remember to use different words to describe subjects and nouns, like the Earth and asteroids.

***The asteroid was approximately 45,000 miles from the Earth, closer than our moon which is more than 240,000 miles away. *** -I used the fact that was included in your first sentence to make the sentence complete. By breaking the two sentences with a comma, the reader can distinctly see the comparison you have set up. I changed the pronoun "it" to "asteroid" for clarity and removed unnecessary words like "from Earth" which is already established .

***It is nerve-wracking and uncomfortable whenever a large rock formation that comes closer to the Earth then the moon*** - I switched the sentence so these adjectives that describe the subject are towards the start of the sentence, for clarity and the linear movement of the sentence. I also changed the vague "rocky" to "large rock formation".

***However, asteroids are not as scary as they are portrayed in the media*** - Good sentence overall. Try not to end sentence with "so", verb or adverbs. This greatly diminishes the strength of the article. I also took away "news" as this is considered a part of the media.

***They travel at a fast and burning rate, which breaks off the asteroid's smaller rocks.*** -I removed "makes" as an unnecessary word and specified "asteroid's" to give a clearer image of what is happening. Also a comma is added between "rate" and "which".

***Regardless, it is truly terrifying that we can not predict when the next asteroid will pass so close to the Earth*** - Good conclusion sentence, I began with "regardless" since the previous sentence is reassuring the audience and this conclusion is reminding us of the danger. I used "predict" instead of "know" to elevate the language

  • Asteroids are Coming to Earth

Just this Thursday, scientists realized that an asteroid came dangerously close to our planet. The asteroid was approximately 45,000 miles from the Earth, closer than our moon which is more than 240,000 miles away. It is nerve-wracking and uncomfortable whenever a large rock formation that comes closer to the Earth then the moon. However, asteroids are not as scary as they are portrayed in the media. They travel at a fast and burning rate, which breaks off the asteroid's smaller rocks. Regardless, it is truly terrifying that we can not predict when the next asteroid will pass so close to the Earth.

https://www.popsci.com/asteroid-close-earth-ok-2019/



“Songbird Capture”

Every morning we are awoken by the beautiful songs of the songbirds that sing their beautiful song. However, it is reported that Songbirds are being caught as they migrate from Southern Canada to South America at night, during the spring and winter. These Songbirds would stop at Florida to get some rest and continue their long journey ahead. While some are continuing their long journey there are some birds caught in wire traps. People would trap them to keep it as pets as for their culture. Catching this beautiful songbird can decrease their population which can lead to fewer Songbirds in the future. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/songbirds-are-being-snatched-from-miamis-forests/

***"Captured Songbird"*** - "Capture" should be in the past tense and is being used to describe the songbird.

***Every morning, we are woken by the beautiful music of the songbird.*** - Good, vivid sentence! Really lovely imagery; "awoken" can come across as too formal but the choice is yours! There is also a LOT of repetition done in this sentence; birds, song, beautiful. Try not to use the same descriptors over and over, and especially not in the same sentence- you lose the audience's interest!

***However, it was reported that songbirds are being captured as they migrate from the south of Canada to South America during the spring and winter months.*** - Another good sentence, I changed "caught" to "captured" for word association (there are some words that we instantly associate certain things with; use these words to push your point further).

***Songbirds often stop in Florida to rest before resuming their long journey; some continue on to South America while others are caught in wire traps*** - I put together these two sentences (which are very strong!) so there is no break in the complete thought you present but used a semi-colon to avoid a run-on sentence.

***Since songbirds have cultural significance, people trap these birds to keep as pets*** - Since the culture is not specified, there should be an adjective for some specificity. Otherwise good sentence!

***The capture of this beautiful songbirds affects their population, and we can expect fewer songbirds in the future if this does not change.*** - I made "capture" a noun; this allows the sentence and your thought to flow clearly. The conclusion is also where you can assert your own fact that you have proven in the article (catching birds affects the population, so there are fewer birds) so make sure you are saying this in the most direct way!

  • "Captured Songbird"

Every morning, we are woken by the beautiful music of the songbird. However, it was reported that songbirds are being captured as they migrate from the south of Canada to South America during the spring and winter months. Songbirds often stop in Florida to rest before resuming their long journey; some continue on to South America while others are caught in wire traps. Since songbirds have cultural significance, people trap these birds to keep as pets. The capture of this beautiful songbirds affects their population, and we can expect fewer songbirds in the future if this does not change.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/songbirds-are-being-snatched-from-miamis-forests/





"Do Human Sleep Like Zebrafish"

Sleep is a very important part of a human daily routine as our body needs at least 8 hours of rest. If a person lack of rest then they will have serious health issues later on in their life. It is found that zebrafish have a similar sleep pattern as humans do. When a human sleep there are two cycles: REM and non-REM. REM (rapid eye movement) is when the brain is awake as if you are awake but the body muscles are relaxed. Zebrafish are also found to have REM while they sleep too. Like a human, they sleep at night and wake up in the morning. They are transparent which means we can see the physiological processes happen in front of your eyes. It is fascinating to see the process take place as these transparent fishes sleep. https://www.popsci.com/humans-zebrafish-sleep-science-origins/

***Do Humans Sleep like Zebrafish***? - Great title! I pluralized "human" and added punctuation.

***Sleep is a very important part of a human's daily routine and our bodies need at least 8 hours of it to function properly*** - Good sentence. Since the routine is the human's possession, there needs to be an apostrophe before the "s". I used a conjunction for fluidity and completed the sentence with "to function properly". Also, I used a pronoun to represent the subject "sleep" to avoid repetition.

***A person who does not sleep enough will have serious health issues later in life*** - I switched "lack" to "does not sleep enough" because it is clearer for the sentence. I removed their, but for future reference, "their" is a plural pronoun so "life" would need to be pluralized to "lives".

***Oddly enough, it was discovered that zebrafish have sleeping patterns similar to humans*** -I included "oddly enough" to mark a transition to the zebrafish. "Sleep" becomes "sleeping" and to avoid ending the sentence with "do" I ended it with a subject.

***When a human sleeps, there are two cycles they go through: REM and non-REM sleep*** - "Sleep" needs to be pluralized because "human" represents a group of many (not a singular "person"). A comma is included after "sleeps", good use of a colon; I included a second set of "sleep" for specificity. Good sentence!

***REM stands for "rapid eye movement", when the brain is awake but the body's muscles are relaxed*** - Good sentence, I added a comm after "movement" to retain the natural pause you have built in the sentence. "Body" needs to indicate possession as the body possesses the muscles. Since you are explaining what REM stands for, it should be in quotes. I also removed "as if you are awake" since this is already implied. I also might think of another word for "awake", perhaps "active"?

***Zebrafish also exhibit REM while they sleep, and, like humans, they are not nocturnal*** - Good sentence, I removed "too" because that is accomplished with "also". I also used "exhibit" for an elevation of language, similarly with "nocturnal". Also note the placement of commas.

***They are transparent, which means we can witness this physical process unfold as it occurs*** - A comma should be included after "transparent", and I used "witness" for elevation. "In front of your eyes" also sounds colloquial; I know what you are trying to say but it comes across as confused.

***It is fascinating to see this take place as the translucent fish sleeps*** - I cut out "occur" to change up language. "Fish" is not pluralized in the form of this sentence. I also changed transparent as that description was already used. Thesauruses are great for finding the right word!

  • "Do Humans Sleep like Zebrafish?"

Sleep is a very important part of a human's daily routine and our bodies need at least 8 hours of it to function properly. A person who does not sleep enough will have serious health issues later in life. Oddly enough, it was discovered that zebrafish have sleeping pattern similar to humans. When a human sleeps, there are two cycles they go through: REM and non-REM sleep. REM stands for "rapid eye movement", where the brain is awake but the body's muscles are relaxed. Zebrafish also exhibit REM while they sleep and, like humans, they are not nocturnal. They are translucent, which means we can witness this physical process unfold as it occurs. It is fascinating to see this take place as the transparent fish sleeps.

https://www.popsci.com/humans-zebrafish-sleep-science-origins/




"Mining In The Ocean"

The ocean is one of the most mysterious places we haven't really solved yet. Today we only have explored about 5% of the ocean which means there will be more undiscovered species yet to be found. The ISA is planning to mine the ocean floor which can destroy many habitats living there. Mining means that we are going to harm many undiscovered species and other more before discovering it. The real question is if we know enough about the ocean to mine it. The ISA used environmental baseline data to find the biggest area to mine which is around 500,000 square-miles-chunk of the Clarion-Clipperton Zone. Lying in between New Mexico and Hawaii at a depth of 16,000 feet and two-third of the United States lay a chunk of rock that contains many precious metals. It is up to us to decide if the rock is more valuable than the sea life creatures yet to be found. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/do-we-know-enough-about-deep-sea-to-mine-it/

- Good title!

***The ocean is one of the most mysterious places in our world*** - I removed the last part of the sentence because you already say "mysterious" which already implies what you are going for. This intro sentence can definitely be re-worded to be more in line with what you have written.

***Today, we have only explored about five percent of the ocean which means there are still undiscovered species waiting to be found*** - A comma should come after today and I switched the order of "have" and "only" for this to sound more powerful. After some research, I found that "5%" is actually acceptable grammatically, but you can also use "five percent"; whatever you prefer!" I removed "more" (that would be used if you previous discussed different species) and switched "yet" to "waiting"- using words like this instead of vague ones will excite the reader and draw them deeper into the article.

***The ISA, or the International Seabed Authority, plans to mine the ocean floor which can destroy the many different habitats living there*** - It's good to explain these acronyms to the reader, so we know what you know. I also changed "is planning" to "plans"; verbs of being can weaken your sentence (this also helps when word/character count comes into play). I also added "the" to "many different habitats" to strengthen the concluding part of the sentence.

***Mining can potentially harm undiscovered species and their habitats before discovery*** - Your use of the word "mean" should be used when explaining something, not stating your opinion (however true it may be!). Try not to end the sentence with a pronoun! Also changed verb of being " being discovered" .

***The real question is do we know enough about the ocean to start mining?*** - Since you are asking a question, use proper punctuation. Otherwise, good sentence!

***The ISA has used environmental baseline data to locate the largest area to mine: the 500,000 square-mile chunk of the Clarion-Clipperton Zone*** - I included "has" to further indicate the data from the past. I included the colon for fluidity and since you are listing the area found, we can use this form to clean the sentence.

***This zone lies between New Mexico and Hawaii at a depth of 16,000 feet. It is two-thirds the size of the United States and contains many precious metals*** - This sentence was confusing. It needs to be more clear that you are referring to the zone (always be specific!) I also separated the sentences for clarity in the sequence of info given. I also removed the section about chunky rocks because you used that imagery in the previous sentence

***It is up to us to decide if these rocks are more valuable than sea life yet to be found*** - Really great conclusion sentence. I changes "the rock" to "these rocks" to show there are many and removed "creatures" because you previous wording was good enough! Well done, really interesting article .

  • "Mining In The Ocean"

The ocean is one of the most mysterious places in our world. Today, we have only explored about five percent of the ocean which means there are still undiscovered species waiting to be found. The ISA, or the International Seabed Authority, plans to mine the ocean floor which can destroy the many different habitats living there. Mining can potentially harm undiscovered species and their habitats before discovery. The real question is do we know enough about the ocean to start mining? The ISA has used environmental baseline data to locate the largest area to mine: the 500,000 square-mile chunk of the Clarion-Clipperton Zone. This zone lies between New Mexico and Hawaii at a depth of 16,000 feet. It is two-thirds the size of the United States and contains many precious metals. It is up to us to decide if these rocks are more valuable than sea life yet to be found.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/do-we-know-enough-about-deep-sea-to-mine-it/




"Baseball Players Live Longer"

Being a baseball player is great as you get to travel often, get high pay, and do the job you love. But not only that, there are other benefits of being a baseball player. Studies have shown that baseball players have out-lived most of us and the average age of a person. Also, there is a specific role to get the maximum benefits, that is being a shortstop or second basemen. This is due to the reason for their lowest mortality risks compare to other players. This is proven in 2005 paper show that people who play stayed in MLB for 11 years lived 7.4 more years than the average American male. However, this doesn't always apply as mortality is unknown to people and there are many more concepts to determine how long a person will live. https://www.popsci.com/baseball-player-cancer-death/

***Baseball Players Live Longer than Most People*** - You title does not read as complete; set up the article with your title. It needs to catch the audience.

***Baseball players have great careers that allow them to travel often and receive high pay, while doing something they love*** -I put the subject first to clear up some of the flow of the sentence. I also elevated some language, like "get" to "receive"

***However, there are other benefits that come with playing baseball professionally*** - I changed the conjunction and removed the "of being" and shifted "baseball player" to change up the language for the subject. This keeps repetition at bay.

***Studies show that baseball players outlive most people and usually surpass the average lifespan*** - I changes "studies have shown"; your usage indicate studies of the past when it is a present study you discuss. Specifies "us" and included "lifespan" for clarity. Good sentence!

***Additionally, there are specific positions that produce the maximum benefits, like a shortstop or second baseman*** - Good sentence. I changed "also" to elevate the language, "roles" to "positions" for clarity and "get" to "produce". These small word changes can greatly improve the article and your writing as a whole!

***This was proven by comparing their low mortality rates to players of other positions*** I changed "due to the reason" to proven; you can achieve a clearer sentence by cutting down words and substituting with words that are more direct.

***A 2005 paper, published in the journal "Research for Sports Medicine", shows that players who stay in MLB for at least 11 years live 7.4 years longer than the average American male*** - You should include where the 2005 paper is from, especially since the article provides a link. That intro is in quotations and allows your sentence to continue to flow.

***This, however, does not always apply since mortality rates are unpredictable*** 

- I broke this sentence in two so your fact is separated from the conclusion. I also change "mortality is unknown to people" because it was confusing in the sentence.

***There are just too many different ways to determine how long a person will live*** - "Many more concepts" jumbles the sentence. I also added "just" to give the conclusion a conversational wrap up.



  • "Baseball Players Live Longer than Most People"

Baseball players have great careers that allow them to travel often and receive high pay, while doing something they love. However, there are other benefits that come with playing baseball professionally. Studies show that baseball players outlive most people and usually surpass the average lifespan. Additionally, there are specific positions that produce the maximum benefits, like a shortstop or second baseman. This was proven by comparing their low mortality rates to players of other positions. A 2005 paper, published in the journal "Research for Sports Medicine", shows that players who stay in MLB for at least 11 years live 7.4 years longer than the average American male. This, however, does not always apply since mortality rates are unpredictable. There are just too many different ways to determine how long a person will live. https://www.popsci.com/baseball-player-cancer-death/



"Mountain-Dweller"

At the world second-largest volcano, is the most inhospitable place to live on earth. The soil there is similar to the surface of our close neighbor Mars. However, the air temperature rarely reaches above freezing and the soil can not get above 90 degrees Fahrenheit under the sun glare. In 2013, scientists found many mammal-dwellers. One of them was a species called Phyllotis xanthophylls, a yellow-rumped leaf-eared mouse that lives on the foothill and Andes and can be found living on a low sea level. This means that the mouse can withstand a wide range of elevation. Large-ear pikas, yaks, and blue sheep have been spotted as well outside their habitable zone. IT is unbelievable that there are animals living there. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/highest-dwelling-mammal-mouse-volcano/


- Great title! Very captivating for the reader, however you don't really speak about the underground in the article so perhaps use "mountain" or "volcano" to substitute.

***The world's second-largest volcano, Llullaiaco, is the most inhospitable place to live on Earth*** - I removed "at the" for directness and removed unnecessary comma. "Earth" should be capitalized in this usage. I also added the name of the volcano. This is information the reader needs!

***The soil there is similar to the surface of our close neighbor, Mars*** - Good sentence! Only edit is a comma after "neighbor" since you set up the two nouns, "neighbor" and "Mars".


***The air temperature rarely reaching above freezing and the soil's temperature will not rise beyond 90 degree Fahrenheit, even under the sun's glare*** - Good sentence! Only change was "can not get" to "will not rise". This shows a bit more the intensity of the unforgiving landscape.

***However, in 2013, scientists discovered many varieties of mammals dwelling in this area*** - I added "however" to show a shift in direction. I changed "found" to "discover". Word choice helps elevate the language of your article! "In this area" allows for specificity.

***One such species is the Phyllotis xanthophylls, a yellow-tailed, long-eared mouse that lives at the foot of the Andes*** - This sentence is direct from the article, including the description of the mouse. Use your own imagery! You can use the article to build the picture in your mind and then translate your image to the reader.

***It can also be found at a low sea level, indicating it can withstand a wide range of elevations*** - I cut the last part from the previous sentence and combined it with the following sentence to create a complete fact.

***Large-eared pikas, yaks, and blue sheep have also been spotted outside their habitable regions*** - Good sentence but I changes "zones" to "regions" as the latter was too direct from the article.

***It is truly unbelievable how any animal survives in such conditions*** - I added "truly" to make the speakers voice strong, giving character. It can be difficult, but you want to create your own voice in the article, like you are speaking directly to us, giving us this information. I changed "living" for "survives" as this word is better suited to describe the area being inhabited. I also added conditions for specificity.


  • "Mountain-Dweller"

The world's second-largest volcano, Llullaiaco, is the most inhospitable place to live on Earth. The soil there is similar to the surface of our close neighbor, Mars. The air temperature rarely reaching above freezing and the soil's temperature will not rise beyond 90 degree Fahrenheit, even under the sun's glare. However, in 2013, scientists discovered many varieties of mammals dwelling in this area. One such species is the Phyllotis xanthophylls, a yellow-tailed, long-eared mouse that lives at the foot of the Andes. It can also be found at a low sea level, indicating it can withstand a wide range of elevations. Large-eared pikas, yaks, and blue sheep have also been spotted outside their habitable regions. It is truly unbelievable how any animal survives in such conditions.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/highest-dwelling-mammal-mouse-volcano/




"Bird With Long Toe"

It is found that there is a bird with a long toe its third digit is 9.8 millimeters long, about 41% longer than its second-longest digit and 20% longer than its entire body. It is unclear to the scientists what its main function of the long toes, however, scientists believed that the long toes help find food that is hard to reach as a hole in a tree. As scientists found that most modern birds do have a long third digit none of them have a different size toe. Marking this animal as a new species scientists called this new animal Elektorornis chenguangi, it is also part of the member of a toothed group clawed birds. This bird is like other tree-dwellers living and climbing on trees. https://www.sciencenews.org/article/ancient-bird-found-encased-amber-had-bizarrely-long-toe?tgt=nr


***The Bird with a Long Toe*** - I included the article to round out the sentence.

***An ancient bird was recently discovered with a toe that is 9.8 millimeters long and almost 20% longer than its entire body.*** - I changed "is" to "was" to indicate this was a past study and I cut the sentence down and included the conjunction "and" earlier; this was the sentence does not run on and you are able to balance the facts being presented. I also added "ancient" to tell the reader that this is a bird of the past. "Recently" was added to show that we are commenting now about something from the past.

***It is unclear to scientists what the main function of the long toe is, which is 41% longer than its second-longest digit; they do, however, believe that this toe is used to collect hard to reach food found in trees.*** - I removed the unnecessary article in "the scientists", and I included your fact from the first sentence. I also included a semi-colon to break up the sentence and changed "believed" to the present tense because that belief hasn't changed over time (or at least that's not described in your article). I changed "as a hole in a tree" as this phrasing is confused (and taken somewhat from the article)

***Scientists realized that most modern birds do not have a extra long third digit, and they marked this animal as a new species.*** - When you use "as scientists" in this form, the audience feels like you are setting something up that is not resolved clearly in this sentence. I also think the first part of your next sentence fits better here as a completion of the thought.

***Named Elektorornis chenguangi, this bird is part of the group of birds that are distinguished by their teeth and claws.*** - By starting the sentence like this, we can focus more on the subject (birds) than the scientist. You do not need both "part" and "member" but you do need to mention what they are a member or part of. I also changed your description of teeth and claws, as it came directly from the article. Try not to use similar descriptions that are used in the article- this is a sure sign of plagiarism. Instead, build your own description; use the article as a jumping point.

***This extraordinary bird were tree-dweller like their modern relations, but their differences are much more apparent*** - The conclusion is where you can input some of your own adjectives for the subject of the article; this gives the send off more of a personal feel. I included "modern relations" to show that you are comparing the two animals. The conclusion is not where you place facts but where you summarize what one should take away from the article.


  • "The Bird with a Long Toe"

An ancient bird was recently discovered with a toe that is 9.8 millimeters long and almost 20% longer than its entire body. It is unclear to scientists what the main function of the long toe is, which is 41% longer than its second-longest digit; they do, however, believe that this toe is used to collect hard to reach food found in trees. Scientists realized that most modern birds do not have a extra long third digit, and they marked this animal as a new species. Named Elektorornis chenguangi, this bird is part of the group of birds that are distinguished by their teeth and claws. This extraordinary bird were tree-dweller like their modern relations, but their differences are much more apparent.

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/ancient-bird-found-encased-amber-had-bizarrely-long-toe?tgt=nr




“Privacy On The Internet”

It is hard to avoid technology today as this century is the age of technological advancement. However, we are forgetting something important, as other people can access our information. For example, these past few days FaceApp came up with a new filter that can make your face age. It is amusing to play around with those filter but we are forgetting that once we click on the agree button of the policy, we are giving out all our personal info. As the people are able to look into your photos, the camera, and many more. This doesn’t mean that you are in danger but this does mean that the company has access to your personal info. It is important to consider before clicking the agree button. https://www.popsci.com/faceapp-privacy-security/

- Good title!

***The 21st century is the age of technological advancement and it is nearly impossible to avoid***

- Indented sentence and switched the direction of the sentence. Try not to use two of the same nouns or adjectives in the same sentence (this can be difficult, but it is important to keep the text fresh). Your first sentence should be indented to show the start of the paragraph. Also try to avoid simple or vague works, like “hard”, “good”, “bad” , etc. They can make you sound less knowledgeable than you are.

***However, we often forget an important fact; that others have access to whatever information we make available to technology***

- Changed tense of “forgetting”, included semi-colon to separate thoughts. Included “technology” to provide the reader more information. Utilize semi-colons and colons when you can. Instead of breaking up the sentence, continue your though with a semi-colon and a colon when listing facts or items. This adds to the clarity and flow of the sentence. Also, never assume the reader knows what you know!

***For example, in recent days, the Face App came up with a new filter that ages one’s face.***

- Inserted commas to improve flow of the sentence. Overall a good sentence; a good trick for commas in this instance is to read the sentence without including where you think the they should go. If the sentence still reads like a full sentence, then you are in the clear. Try to amp up your language! Simple word-changes can greatly enhance your writing.

***While amusing to play with these filters, we forget that once we agree to the company’s policy, we are giving out our personal information.***

- Changed wording to sound less colloquial. This sentence sounded a bit too conversational. This can be avoided by knocking out unnecessary verbs or conjunctions. Assert your ideas and the confidence of your writing will shine through.

***Even our photos and camera can be accessed, including much of our additionally private information.***

- Included specifics to complete sentence. The sentence is not a complete thought (something I notices throughout the article) Try reading the sentence out loud; this will show you the places where the sentence is not full.

***This does not necessarily mean you are in danger, only that your information is accessible to the company.***

- Removed some words to sound less conversational and more assertive. Another good sentence that just needs to be cleaned of unnecessary words.

***Ultimately, privacy is important to consider when clicking “agree” to the terms of a technological company.***

- Strengthened sentence by introducing the conclusion, wrapped up the sentence with terms used in the article and returned to the main topic. Your conclusion must be strong! It is your final stamp, the last moment to bring together everything you have set up in the article. Overall, work on fuller sentences and removing unnecessary words. Good inclusion of title, source, conclusion and intro sentence. The facts pointed out could be made clearer.

  • “Privacy on the Internet”

The 21st century is the age of technological advancement and it is nearly impossible to avoid. However, we often forget an important fact; that others have access to whatever information we make available to technology. For example, in recent days, the Face App came up with a new filter that ages one’s face. While amusing to play with these filters, we forget that once we agree to the company’s policy, we are giving out our personal information. Even our photos and camera can be accessed, including much of our additionally private information. This does not necessarily mean you are in danger, only that your information is accessible to the company. Ultimately, privacy is important to consider when clicking “agree” to the terms of a technological company.

https://www.popsci.com/faceapp-privacy-security/




"Drought Or Flood"

Just a few days ago the south of America experiences a category 1 hurricane that became a tropical storm with strong winds and hard rain. In Ragley, Louisiana was reported as having 23.43 amount of rain. The flooding continues through Wednesday in the mid-Mississippi and Ohio valley. In the case of this emergency, we are unprepared for this kind of disaster as we don't have enough water supplies. As global warming continues weather gets more and more extreme. Areas prone to experiencing droughts and floods have longer days of drought and flood. If this keeps continuing then we couldn't farm anyone in the future as there would be more days of droughts and floods which will kill the plants. https://www.popsci.com/future-flood-drought-preparedness/

***“Drought or Flood?”***

- Added question mark. Titles have punctuation!

***Just a few days ago, the southern coast of America experienced a category 1 hurricane that became a tropical storm with strong winds and hard rain.***

- Added comma after "days ago", reworded "south of America" for specificity. Previous wording was very confusing.

***In Ragley, Louisiana, there was a reported 23.43 inches of rainfall.***

- Comma included after Louisiana, removed "was" and specified the amount of rain. Always be specific! Refer to the source if you are unsure.

***The mid-Mississippi and Ohio Valley area experienced flooding that continued into Wednesday.***

- Switched the two parts of the sentence, this sounded a bit too much like the article. Give us your interpretation of what the article is saying. Or, put that section in quotations and incorporate the source into the sentence.

***Emergencies like this show how unprepared we are; even water supplies are not enough.***

- Removed excess wording, and used semi-colon to break up the two thoughts. Try to be as direct as possible.

***As global warming continues, the weather gets more and more extreme.***

- I added a comma after “continues”. This is a good straight-to-the-point sentence.

***Areas prone to droughts and floods have been experiencing these disasters in greater numbers.***

- Changed some wording of the sentence. Try not to use the same nouns in one sentence. It makes the article stale.

***If global warming continues at this rate, farming could become impossible because of droughts and floods.***

- Specified the subject, global warming. You don’t have to go that extra step and say “which will kill the plants”. You’ve already implied this in the sentence.

  • “Drought or Flood?”

Just a few days ago, the southern coast of America experienced a category 1 hurricane that became a tropical storm with strong winds and hard rain. In Ragley, Louisiana, there was a reported 23.43 inches of rainfall. The mid-Mississippi and Ohio Valley area experienced flooding that continued into Wednesday. Emergencies like this show how unprepared we are; even water supplies are not enough. As global warming continues, the weather gets more and more extreme. Areas prone to droughts and floods have been experiencing these disasters in greater numbers. If global warming continues at this rate, farming could become impossible because of droughts and floods.

https://www.popsci.com/future-flood-drought-preparedness/




“Living On The Moon”

The reason why we couldn’t just abandon earth and just get on a rocket and fly to the moon to live there is that we would die if we don’t have the resources we need. Humans are fragile things when we are outside of space. As soon as we arrive at the moon the first danger we will face is producing enough oxygen. Without oxygen, we would die not long after we arrive on the moon. Scientists are coming up with an air filter that can filter out dust or waste particle and make it to breathable air as the air on the moon can be deadly to humans. The first plan is to build a gas station because of the trips we will be taking. It is unknown when we will have the first permanent settlement in outer space. https://www.popsci.com/live-on-the-moon/

-Good title! No edits.

***Humans are fragile things in space.***

-Made second sentence the intro sentence. Changed “outside of space” to “in space”. This sentence sets up the article and it is a great hook to begin the paragraph.

***We cannot abandon the Earth to live on the moon because it does not provide the resources we need to survive.***

-Altered wording to sound less conversational. Instead of saying “the reason” go straight into your idea. This shows confidence and authority.

***As soon as we arrive on the moon, the first danger we face is the lack of oxygen.***

-Added a comma after “moon”, changed the verb from future to present. This helps to make the sentence clear.

***Without oxygen, we would die not long after we arrive on the moon. ***

-No edits! Good sentence!

***Scientists are working on a device that can filter the moons deadly dust or waste particles to create breathable air. ***

-Changed “coming up with” to “working on” to refine the language. Broke up the second part of sentence so it is not a run-on. This is a hard sentence because you have to get creative with word choice while being specific enough to the audience. When it comes to run-on sentences, a good trick is reading the sentence out-loud, and if you have to catch your breath it is too long.

***The first step is towards a permanent settlement on the moon is building a “gas station” to allow for future trips to space, though it is unknown when that will happen. ***

-Made the last two sentences one sentence. Since “gas station” is direct from the article, it should be in quotes. This goes back to being very specific with word choice to best show the audience what you are saying.

  • “Living On The Moon”

Humans are fragile things in space. We cannot abandon the Earth to live on the moon because it does not provide the resources we need to survive. As soon as we arrive on the moon, the first danger we face is the lack of oxygen. Without oxygen, we would die not long after we arrive on the moon. Scientists are working on a device that can filter the moons deadly dust or waste particles to create breathable air. The first step is towards a permanent settlement on the moon is building a “gas station” to allow for future trips to space, though it is unknown when that will happen.

https://www.popsci.com/live-on-the-moon/





“Goat’s Emotions”

Goats are not just cute and milk-producing animals, it is a smart and emotional animal. In the early study, scientists learned that goats can tell the different emotions between each goat. They join the group of animals that can understand emotions such as horses, sheep, primates, and many more. It is believed that the goats can express their emotions through their voices. It is believed that goats show a sign of happiness when bought with food and a sign of sadness when isolated from herbs. Goats are more than what we perceive them as and are way smarter. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/goats-can-differentiate-emotion-in-goat-calls/

***“Goats: Emotional Creatures”***

-Set up the title to seem like a case file, to add interest and introduce topic.

***Goats are not just cute, milk-producing animals; they are smart and emotional creatures.*** -Removed “and” to a comma. Included semicolon to show a continuation of the though and changed “animal” to “creature”. Try not to use the same noun or adjective in the same sentence. Use a thesaurus! They are very helpful for finding fresh words.

***In early studies, scientists learned that goats can sense different emotions between each other. ***

-Pluralized “study”. Incorporated more specific wording. This was a difficult sentence! Try to remove vague wording.

***They are part of a group of animals that can understand emotions such as horses, sheep and primates.***"""

-Changed “join” to “part”, removed “and many more” to make the sentence more fluid and to the point. ***"

***It is believed that goats can express their emotions through sound. ***

-Removed “the”, which would refer to one goat instead of many. Changed “voices” to “sound”. “Voices” is a human characteristic even though the audience knows how you made the connection (I know the article uses the word “voices” but you can distinguish yourself from the article with new wording).

***Studies show that goats, when brought food, show signs of happiness and when isolated from it, show signs of sadness. ***

-Changed“it is believed” to “studies show” to differentiate from the previous sentence. Changed “a sign” to “signs”, implying variety. Move the subject “food” to the first part of the sentence. This was a difficult sentence, but you did maintain the linear flow of the article’s theory which is very good!

***Goats are more than we perceive them to be and are smarter than we previously believed. ***

-Removed “way” which is too colloquial. Inputted wording to wrap up the paragraph. The intro and conclusion are very important! Along with the title, they should be the strongest part of the text.



  • “Goats: Emotional Creatures”

Goats are not just cute, milk-producing animals; they are smart and emotional creatures. In early studies, scientists learned that goats can sense different emotions between each other. They are part of a group of animals that can understand emotions such as horses, sheep and primates. It is believed that goats can express their emotions through sound. Studies show that goats, when brought food, show signs of happiness and when isolated from it, show signs of sadness. Goats are more than we perceive them to be and are smarter than we previously believed. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/goats-can-differentiate-emotion-in-goat-calls/





“Housing For Everyone”

Everyone needs love, care, and a family and this includes for everyone especially for little kids. Every kid deserves love and care from their loved ones however, this is not the case for everyone as some kids. It even harder for kids with more medical needs as it is harder for them to find a home due to the fact that there will be more medical needs for them and not many people are willing to pay for the expenses. However, this actually makes the problem worse as hospitals need housing for the kids. It is important to not forget about the unfortunate kids who need a home. https://www.popsci.com/home-health-children-special-needs-illness/

-Good title! However, you could incorporate more into the title to explain that the article is about special needs children.

***Everyone needs love, care and a family, especially children with special medical needs.***

-Removed unnecessary wording and included important words that point to focus of the article. Changed “kids” to “children” to sound more elevated. Make sure you don’t add phrases that have already been explained in the sentence. For example: “Everyone needs love… this includes for everyone”. You already said everyone needs love, you do not need to include the second “everyone”.

***However, this is not always the case.***

-Removed repetitive wording that was stated in the previous sentence.

***It is even harder for children with medical needs to find a home; many people are not willing to pay for this expense.***

-Changed “It” to “It’s” ( it is) for grammar correction. Same edits as above- removing unnecessary wording.

***Problems are made worse as hospitals lack the funds to house these children.***

-This sentence is very confusing as there is no transition from the previous thought to the next one. What is the connection between people unable to meet medical expenses and hospitals needing housing for kids? Is the article about housing, hospitals, or children? I think you are trying to connect too many things here!

***It is important to remember the needs of children who lack the care to deal with their medical issues.***

-Since the previous sentence is unclear, the conclusion misses its mark. The audience needs to gain a better sense of the facts you are presenting and this can be done by focusing on one point you want to prove. Since you have limited space, try to be as direct as possible!

  • “Housing for Everyone”

Everyone needs love, care and a family, especially children with special medical needs. However, this is not always the case. It is even harder for children with medical needs to find a home; many people are not willing to pay for this expense. Problems are made worse as hospitals lack the funds to house these children. It is important to remember the needs of children who lack the care to deal with their medical issues. https://www.popsci.com/home-health-children-special-needs-illness/





“Unknown Meal”

Scientists recently found a meal in the stomach of a dinosaur and it is found to be Microraptor. This four-winged dinosaur was unearthed from the 130 million years old Jehol biota in which is where Northern China is today. Scientists were able to operate its stomach and learn that it eat lizards. Previous fossils were captured and it was found that it eats small mammals, fish or birds. Some species today also eat lizards very similar to a Microraptor. It is known that it eats anything that fits in its mouth. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/07/new-fossil-lizard-found-inside-microraptor-dinosaur/

***“What’s for Dinner?

-I changed the title, because your article tells us the meal was a lizard. Have some fun with your titles! The audience is looking for a hook to draw them into the text.

***Scientists recently found a Microraptor, a four-winged dinosaur, with a meal still in its stomach. ***

-I moved the noun (the Microraptor) to the beginning of the sentence for fluidity and included your description of the dinosaur in this sentence.

***It was discovered in the Jehol biota, which is 130 million years old and resides in what is now Northern China.***

-Your sentence was taken directly from the article. Even with difficult terms you CAN NOT plagiarize! Look deeper into the phrases that are confusing you and write your interpretation of it. Do not take directly from the article. This could get you in a lot of trouble.

***Scientists were able to operate on the dinosaur’s stomach and learned that it used to eat lizards. ***

-I specified that it was the dinosaur’s stomach for specificity, and added “used to” as a way to indicate the past. Good sentence.

***Previously captured fossils showed that the Microraptor also eats small mammals, birds and fish.***

-I changed “previous” to an adverb and specified the subject “the Microraptor”. When you have different terms to describe your subject, use them! Instead of saying “it”, be specific; this adds dynamic to your article.

***Some species today also consume the same lizards as the Microraptor, which was known to eat anything it could fit in its mouth.***

-I combined the last two sentences because the last sentence was another fact, not a conclusion. The conclusion wraps everything up or resolves the questions posed in the article. A conclusion sentence I would you would be "***“The contents of this dinosaur’s stomach tells us a great deal about prehistoric life” or “The contents of this dinosaur’s stomach could be very similar to those of a modern animal”***".

  • “What’s for Dinner?”

Scientists recently found a Microraptor, a four-winged dinosaur, with a meal still in its stomach. It was discovered in the Jehol biota, which is 130 million years old and resides in what is now Northern China. Scientists were able to operate on the dinosaur’s stomach and learned that used to eat lizards. Previously captured fossils showed that the Microraptor also eats small mammals, birds and fish. Some species today also consume the same lizards as the Microraptor, which was known to eat anything it could fit in its mouth. The contents of this dinosaur’s stomach could be very similar to those of a modern animal.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/07/new-fossil-lizard-found-inside-microraptor-dinosaur/





“Small Little Dinosaur”

In Wyoming, scientists found a small three feet tall dinosaur, which is the oldest known relative of Velociraptor discovered in North America. It comes from 150 million years old rocks called Morrison Formation which covers much of the western part of the United States. Hesperornithes is said to be one of the earlier birds that evolve to become ground-dwelling rather than tree gliding or climbing dinosaurs. The dinosaurs were found by accident in 2001 fossil dig-up. When it was first found it was mistaken for a flying reptilian than a dinosaur. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/07/new-dinosaur-species-velociraptor-cousin-lori-may-upend-flight-evolution-theories/

-I like your title! No edits.

***Scientists discovered a small, three feet tall dinosaur in Wyoming, which they believe to be the oldest known relative of the Velociraptor to be found in North America.***"

-I moved "Wyoming" from the beginning of the sentence; a comma early in the sentence can stop our flow into the text. In articles like this, you want to grab attention as soon as possible, and your title already makes the audience want to read this article. Grab onto that momentum and run with it!

***The fossils were found in the Morrison Formation, a 150 million-year-old rock cluster that covers much of Western United States.***

-I specified that “it” refers to the fossils of the dinosaur and stated the name of the rock formation before the description in order to keep the reader on top of the information you are giving.

***It was named hesperornithes miessleri and is said to be one of the ground-dwelling dinosaurs that birds evolved from, rather than dinosaurs that could tree-glide.***


-Since this is the first time you present the name of the dinosaur, you must give an introduction. I could tell you were trying very hard not to plagiarize; this was a hard sentence to understand in the original article so take you time to understand what is being said. The article says that it is argues that birds evolved from dinosaurs that lived on the ground as opposed to the tree. Interpret the sentence and translate it for the audience.

***This tiny dinosaur was found accidentally in a 2001 fossil dig-up.***

-I included adjective “tiny” as an added descriptor for the noun. I also included the last sentence into this one as the last sentence was not a conclusion. If you want to separate the two sentences you can, but it cannot simply be another statement of fact. I would say “It’s no surprise that scientists first mistook it for a flying reptile”

  • “Small Little Dinosaur”

Scientists discovered a small, three feet tall dinosaur in Wyoming, which they believe to be the oldest known relative of the Velociraptor to be found in North America. The fossils were found in the Morrison Formation, a 150 million-year-old rock cluster that covers much of Western United States. It was named hesperornithes miessleri and is said to be one of the ground-dwelling dinosaurs that birds evolved from, rather than dinosaurs that could tree-glide. This tiny dinosaur was found accidentally in a 2001 fossil dig-up. It’s no surprise that scientists first mistook it for a flying reptile.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/07/new-dinosaur-species-velociraptor-cousin-lori-may-upend-flight-evolution-theories/





“No More Finding Nemo”

It is found that light pollution is causing a huge troll for aquatic life. Light pollution is artificial light created by humans such as streetlights. Light pollution interferes with bird’s nocturnal migration, flower blooming earlier and sea turtle nesting. It is also found that some fish eggs are having a hard time hatching due to the lights and now the population is decreasing. One of the well-known fish is the clownfish, popular from the movie “Finding Nemo”. The eggs were fertilized with the light but they wouldn’t hatch. This causes many problems as there is no offspring being born. If this continues Nemo the clownfish will go extinct one day. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/these-fish-eggs-not-hatching-problem-light-pollution/


-Good title! No edits.

***Studies show that light pollution causes a huge toll on aquatic life.***

-I changed “found” to” has been prove” to elevate the language. I removed “is causing” for “causes”, since you are asserting something in this intro sentence (which is very good! Exactly what an article’s first sentence should be doing)

***Light pollution is artificial light created by humans, such as streetlights or cars.***

-Good sentence! I just added a comma after human, as you are about to provide an example. I also added another example of light pollution; it’s always nice to give the reader two or three examples to connect with.

***This kind of pollution interferes with nocturnal bird migration, plant production and sea turtle nesting.***

-I changed the start of the sentence, as it was the same as your previous sentence. I also altered the presentation of your examples for fluidity.

***It has also been discovered that some fish egg populations are decreasing because of light pollution. ***

-Again, changed word choice for elevation of language. I removed the conjunction “and” to combine sentences and make the one sentence stronger.

***While the eggs are fertilized with the light, they will not hatch; the lack of offspring born causes serious problems to the ecosystem.***

-I moved the two sentences before the conclusion to this part of the text. You speak about fish egg production in the sentence before, so it is important that this information is present directly after and that it is explained.

***One of the affected species is the well-known clown fish, made popular from the movie [Finding Nemo]. ***

-Movies are in italics, not quotations. Clown fish is two words.

***If light pollution continues, Nemo the clown fish could become extinct one day.***

-I included light pollution since it is your main topic, and I added a comma after continues and before Nemo to signal that transition. Good conclusion!

  • “No More Finding Nemo”

Studies show that light pollution causes a huge toll on aquatic life. Light pollution is artificial light created by humans, such as streetlights or cars. This kind of pollution interferes with nocturnal bird migration, plant production and sea turtle nesting. It has also been discovered that some fish egg populations are decreasing because of light pollution. While the eggs are fertilized with the light, they will not hatch; the lack of offspring born causes serious problems to the ecosystem. One of the affected species is the well-known clownfish, made popular from the movie Finding Nemo. If light pollution continues, Nemo the clownfish could become extinct one day. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/these-fish-eggs-not-hatching-problem-light-pollution/






“Tree’s Age”

A person might be able to guess a person's age by just looking at their appearance, however, guessing the age of a tree won’t be very easy as one might think. In order to accurately guess the correct age of a tree, you need to cut the tree and count the rings around it. Under an ideal location, the tree will grow quickly leaving a lot of tree rings. Scientists have been using tree rings to crack up over 13,000 years of history. This use of study is called dendrochronology where scientists use the tree rings to cover history. Today dendrochronology is used for archaeologists sites and artifacts. You can go and visit museums to go and experience the tree ring yourself and feel the tree age. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/archaeology/how-tree-rings-date-archaeological-site/


***"Counting Tree Rings."***

- You title comes across as brisk and short. It tells us very little about the upcoming article. I used this title to elude to more specifics of the article ("age", in particular, is vague)

***A person's age can be guessed just by looking at their appearence, however, it is even harder to determine the age of a tree.***

-I removed "A person might" because it is to ambivalent a statement to start the article. We can also knock out duplicate words by getting directly to the matter at hand. I also used "determine" as a subsitute for "guess".

***In order to accurately estimate its age, the tree must be cut down and the inner rings counted.***

- I used "estimate" as a stronger way to say "guess" and I took away "correct"- you already achieve this with "accurately"! I changed "tree" to the pronoun "it" in the first part of the sentence so the second part of the sentence could be complete without using the same word twice. I also changed "count the rings around it" because it is not a clear description. By using the word "inner", we can point the audience in the right direction, to visualize what we depict.

***If planted in an ideal location, a tree will grow quickly and produce numerous tree rings.***

- The first part of your sentence "under an ideal location" was taken from the original article! Change up the language and try not to rely on the article; instead, feel confident in your interpretation of the article !

***Scientists have been using tree rings to crack open over 13,000 years of history.***

-Excellent sentence! Only change is "crack up" to "crack open"- our connection to "crack up" is laughter and jokes, while "crack open" sounds more in line with the sense of discovering history. Great job!

***The study of tree rings as a way to learn about past events is called dendrochronology.***

-The layout of this sentence makes it confusing. By placing the definition first, the audience has a better grasp/understanding of your subject. Also, "past events" is a new way to say "history", which has been repeated in the previous sentence. Changing up the language gives your piece dynamic!

***Today, dendrochronology is used by archaeologists to determine the age of sites and artifacts.***

- Good sentence ! I added "determine the age" for specificity and to make the sentence less brief.

***There are many museums that have tree specimens, where you can "feel" a tree's age in person.***

- The conclusion needs to be clear and strong! The direction you turn to (going to museums to see the rings in person) is excellent, but the execution needs to be clearer. I included "many" with "museums" for clarity and "specimens" with "tree" for the same reason. I really liked your desciption "feel a tree's age", which immediately paints a picture in the readers mind. Try not to reiterate yourself with too many of the same word (often unnecessary!)

  • "Counting Tree Rings."

A person's age can be guessed just by looking at their appearance, however, it is even harder to determine the age of a tree. In order to accurately estimate its age, the tree must be cut down and the inner rings counted. If planted in an ideal location, a tree will grow quickly and produce numerous tree rings. Scientists have been using tree rings to crack open over 13,000 years of history. The study of tree rings as a way to learn about past events is called dendrochronology. Today, dendrochronology is used by archaeologists to determine the age of sites and artifacts. There are many museums that have tree specimens, where you can "feel" a tree's age in person. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/archaeology/how-tree-rings-date-archaeological-site/



“Melting Ice v.s. Whales”

It, not a surprising topic to bring up about global warming as it is one of our main concerns today as more and more carbon is released in the air. The first noticeable signs of global warming are the ice caps and not only are they home to many arctic animals but also have food sources within them. At the bottom of the ice caps, there are many algae living there which might not seem important. However, algae are very important in stabilizing the food chains as they provide food to fish and other aquatic animals which are eventually eaten by whales. If algae stop producing then it can cause major damage to the food chain and can cause huge destruction in the ecosystem. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/06/melting-sea-ice-brings-boom-and-then-bust-for-arctic-iconic-whales/

*** It is not surprising that global warming is one of the world's main concerns as more and more carbon is released into the air.*** - Good sentence! "Is" must be behind "it" to indicate action. "Topic" is also unnecessary because you are already directly stating that global warming is the topic. Lastly, "in" at the end of the sentence must become "into" (a preposition) to indicate further movement/action.

***The first noticeable signs of global warming come from the melting ice caps, which are not only the home to many arctic creatures, but also contains essential nutrients that sustain life.*** - Also a good sentence, in terms of direction and cohesiveness. I included "melting" to describe the ice caps- otherwise, we don't really know what the is first sign of global warming. You can separate the sentence with the transition "which" instead of using the conjunction "and"; this prepares the reader for new information. I changed "animals" to "creature's to change up the language and add a personal touch (this gives not only a command and confidence to the writing, and shows the reader about the style of the writer). Similarly, for "contains essential nutrients" is a more elevate way to complete the sentence.

***




“Fourth Of July Firework”

On the Fourth of July, many people celebrate the country independence day by shooting fireworks in the sky. Many people believe that fireworks originated from America however, fireworks were made before America even existed. It dates back to around 200 B.C. in China where they made firecrackers out of bamboo stalks by using a gun-powder into pits of fire. This later on advanced and became a military weapon. Pretty soon fireworks spread across the world to Italy and Great Britain and they began producing fireworks during the Middle Ages. Fireworks are not only beautiful to look at but bring out our patriotic side of us. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/07/how-fireworks-came-to-america/







“Chickens v.s. Beef”

If people were asked to pick chicken or beef, they would most likely pick beef over chicken. However, research shows that eating chicken over beef help reduce climate change. As raising cows, sheep, and lambs they admit a lot of methane into the atmosphere which produces greenhouse gases. Also, cows, sheep, and lambs graze on grasses and making their meats creates more carbon emission than eating chickens. Chickens have the lowest carbon emission meat of all the protein meats. Raising chickens to reduce the number of fertilizers needed, land, and carbon footprints in the atmosphere. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/06/choosing-chicken-over-beef-cuts-carbon-footprint-surprising-amount/





“Sea Turtles Not Land Turtles”

Sea turtles lived through the age of dinosaurs and survived the extreme extinction that killed all the dinosaurs that lived. However, today many sea turtles are dying because of human factors such as dumping trash on the beach, disturbing their nests and hunting them down. Due to climate change, biodiversities lost, and many other several factors. Six of the seven species are known to be threatened or endangered. It would be ashamed to know that the sea turtles survived through all these events but was later wiped out by humans. Today people are encouraging others to not bother sea turtles especially their homes. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/06/sea-turtles/





“Hyenas The Vicious Predators”

Hyenas have a bad reputation for a very long time, they been recorded in fables as one of the evil and vicious animals. But this comes down to their excellent hunting skills and great teamwork. Spotted-brown hyenas are usually lead by a alpha, which is usually a female. A clan depends on the population of the prey ranging from 10 members to 120 members. Vocalizing is very important for the hyenas, this can be used to call for more members when for example attacking lions. Hyenas are great hunters overall who spoils are most likely to be stolen by lions. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/06/hyenas-myths-lion-king-africa/





“Shark’s Dinner”

Many people would think that a shark diet would primary consists of fishes, and other marine life. However, scientists began to discovered that there may be more than that. Scientists found that inside the baby tiger shark stomach they found feathers of birds. They took all the feathers to analyze it and found that they mostly eat seabirds and terrestrial birds. Ever since then scientists began to find more baby tiger sharks and cleanse their stomach without hurting them and release them back to the sea. Over eight years of studying scientists had found that out of 105 sharks 41 of them had digested the birds remained in their guts. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/05/baby-tiger-sharks-eat-songbirds/





“Shark’s Menu”

Summer is coming and beaches are one of the most popular places for people to go and relax. Deep within these popular beaches live the most feared predators of all time the shark. Over the past years many of shark attacks reported are increasing. The most common types of sharks that are usually attack are the tiger sharks or the bull sharks. It is said that sharks attack due to curiosity or to defend themselves. There are two types of shark attacks, provoked and unprovoked. Provoked happened when shark fishing or spearfishing and unprovoked happened when the sharks confuse humans as their prey. It is important to stay away from the deep side of the ocean and stay near the shore .https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2015/06/150615-north-carolina-shark-attacks-science/





“Dinosaur Gems”

In Australia, Sydney in Lightning Ridge there scientists found the first planting eating family group found in this country. Lightning Ridge is already known for their marvelous opals. While digging for their opals they found an unexpected fossils that was Fostoria dhimbangunmal. Finding new fossils in Australia is new and exciting since there are rare and few dinosaurs found there. Australia with it region with a broad floodline creates a good environment for many vegetations to grow. Using these dinosaur fossils, scientists can use it to study how dinosaur were coping to their environments. At first, when discovered the fossils were mistaken as a skeleton until further studies. Finding Fostoria dhimbangunmal just proved that there might be more undiscovered dinosaurs buried deep inside earth. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/06/opal-fossils-reveal-new-species-dinosaur-australia-fostoria/





“Plastics”

As the amount of pollution increased during the years many countries over the world came together to negotiate the new policy to banned plastics. Geneva where all 180 countries agreed to make it the place to control the international hazardous waste. Under the treaty, it is required that the exporters must ask for a consent before importing their waste into the countries. However, China the world’s biggest importer of plastic scraps stop buying from non-industrial of plastic scraps. As the result of these changes other Asian countries including Thailand, Indonesia, and Malaysia have to be overwhelmed with all those shipments of plastics. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/05/shipping-plastic-waste-to-poor-countires-just-got-harder/





“Bermuda Volcano”

Not all volcanoes are not the same, but are formed in a similar ways. Well, most volcanoes are formed in a similar ways expect ancient volcano like the formation of the Bermuda island. After examining the rock layers deep inside the island,scientists discovered that this volcano is way different from the other volcanoes. To do a further research the scientists drilled near an airport and took the sample and kept it in storage at Dalhousie University in Nova Scotia and was gathering dust. After many years of studies, the team found what was never discovered, the signature of the Bermuda volcano. After, the study many scientists began to make a new model of the new volcano and assume that there are many other volcanoes developed the sameway. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/05/bermuda-volcano-hybrid-unlike-others-on-earth-new-way-to-make-volcanoes/





“Self-Defense”

Summer around the corner, many people are already making plan for their summer. Camping as one of the most popular activities to do around summer is actually pretty dangerous when approached by a wild animals. While, some seem harmless or tiny those are the ones that cause the most harm. It is reported that between 2008 and 2015 in the United States 1,160 people were reported dead from animal encounters. To avoid this, give the animals some space and don’t feed them. It is tempting to see these cute little creatures however, getting near to them can do more harm than good. It is important to read some facts and informations before camping or do any kind of activities. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/reference/safety-animals-wildlife-attacks-national-parks/





“Artificial Reefs”

Today coral reefs are considered to be one of the most endangered ecosystem. It support the life of the sea and attracts many tourists with it brilliant and colorful skins. Now coral reefs are disappearing due to climate change and global warming. Now people are determined to save the beautiful reefs by adding their own artificial reefs into the ocean. Some people go from dumping logs to cars to old abandoned ships. However, just dumping any junks isn’t always helpful as now scientists are designing an artificially build reefs for the sea. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/05/shipwreck-habitats-help-tropical-fish-adapt-to-warming-waters/





“Sea On Land”

Ninety-nine millions years ago in Myanmar, it was a full beach full of trees. Today, there is a marine fossilized lump of amber was found inside the tree. It is known as the first recorded ammonite found in an amber. This extinct mollusks is the distance relatives of octopuses and squids. Scientists came to conclusion that the fossil came from the trees near the shoreline and picked up the ammonite shells. In this fossil it also contain other marine life such as snails, pillbugs, mites, spiders, and etc. These ancient fossils unlike our marine life today weren't able to adapted in time. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/05/ancient-ammonite-fossilized-in-tree-resin-burmese-amber/





“Plastics”

As the amount of pollution increased during the years many countries over the world came together to negotiate the new policy to banned plastics. Geneva where all 180 countries agreed to make it the place to control the international hazardous waste. Under the treaty, it is required that the exporters must ask for a consent before importing their waste into the countries. However, China the world’s biggest importer of plastic scraps stop buying from non-industrial of plastic scraps. As the result of these changes other Asian countries including Thailand, Indonesia, and Malaysia have to be overwhelmed with all those shipments of plastics. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/05/shipping-plastic-waste-to-poor-countires-just-got-harder/





“Thanks To Human”

Human have been known for destroying the natural habitats and the world forests. As they destroyed the natural geographic of the world it also affect the living factors living there. Animals living in those affected areas are forced to move out and survive the hardship of urban life. This can eliminate many species such as the South China tigers. Not only were the land affected the ocean life in the water have very little life left. In the tropical forests many insects have vanished and in grassland it slowly becoming a desert. If this type of trend continues pretty soon many animals would die out and we wouldn't be able to see the wonders of these great animals. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/05/ipbes-un-biodiversity-report-warns-one-million-species-at-risk/





“Popularity Of Cats”

Today, many cat lovers would do anything to please their cats which are treated as a king and queen. But today, we mostly did this because we couldn’t resist their cute looks and their adorable actions. However, back in the ancient Egypt, people would worship cats as god for many thousands of years. The fame rises during the 22nd dynasty of pharaohs who built a temple dedicated to Perbast. It is also mention in the bible and also in Hebrew known as Pibeseth. Also in the 2nd dynasty, Perbast sculptures can be found and the cat head deity became a normal representative to Old Kingdom. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/archaeology-and-history/magazine/2019/05-06/bubastis-egyptian-sacred-city-of-cats/





“Sin Of the Fishers”

Near, Lake Victoria the second largest lake served also as a place to cleanse the sin of guilty people. Also part of the lake is used to clean bad sins it also create bad sin as many fishermen widely use and fish. These fishermen were refugees and were trying to made a living by selling the fishes they caught at Lake Victoria. Many ecologist blame the British colonies for bringing tilapia and perch and invade the lake. In 2017 the Yoweri Museveni made fishing illegal in the second largest lake. Even if fishing kept increasing, many farmers now lost their livelihood and their house and wealth. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/05/uganda-military-cracks-down-illegal-fishing-lake-victoria/





“Regrowing Trees”

The main focus today is that we are cutting down too many trees from our forests. One of the solution is to replant them but many people don’t know that it cause more harm than help. Since trees cause a quarter of carbon and as they grow or burn they release four times the weights in carbon dioxide. Pakistan planted trees last year to make up the loss of forests and are now one of the most populated place. In California there was a huge forest fire near a swamp and it was still burning. This is because of the high amount of carbon dioxide released when the trees were burning.https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/04/how-to-regrow-forest-right-way-minimize-fire-water-use/





“Running Out Of Oil”

Our main resources to keep our busy city running is the source of fossil fuels and oils. Without them there won’t be electricities and there won’t be cars and buses. We count on them for our daily life. However, both oils and fossil fuels are non-renewable source which mean there is a chance that one day it can run out. Today we are taking what we have for granted and now scientists are estimating when it would run out. It is estimated that our top producers which are Venezuela: 301 billion barrels,Saudi Arabia: 266 billion barrels, Canada: 170 billion barrels, Iran: 158 billion barrels, and Iraq: 143 billion barrels. It won’t be long till we use every bit of oils we have left.https://www.popsci.com/how-much-oil-earth-has-left





“Marsquake”

On April 6 scientists found an interesting discovery on our neighbor Mars. The Insight lander recorded trembling from the ground. As everyone expected the device recorded the first earthquake on Mars. This lead to further research on Mars crust and seismology and the wrong depiction people have on Mars. In cartoon people like to show Mars with metallic core and rocky mental and crust. However, the seismic events are small which mean that we won't be able to see it from Earth because of the higher noise Earth have. Another interesting thing was that the shape of the signal is more similar to the moon earthquake than the earth. Knowing that it is similar to the moon earthquake we can figure out how much water mars contain. https://www.popsci.com/insight-marsquake#page-3





“Easter Bunnies”

As cats and dogs are known for he most common household pets, rabbits are the third most common household pets to have. There are misconceptions about maintaining rabbits such as their life span of 2-3 years but in reality if it well taken care of a rabbit life span last more than 10-12 years. This is the reason why rabbits are considered to a beginner pet. Also since rabbits are known as exotic pet their insurance cost more and need more medical care. In general, rabbits will live a long and happy life with good care. https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/04/rabbits-easter-animal-welfare-pets-rescue-bunnies/





“Fastest Animals

There are millions of different types of animals in the world and there are still some undiscovered. But the question is who is the fastest animals and the answer is it depends. The most well known animal is the cheetahs with their flexible spine which give them a bigger limb ranges. The next animal is the squids with their tentacled jets. Those long tentacles help suck water into the body and make the muscles in the body to move. At last, the hummingbird with their fast wings are too fast that human can only see a blur. There are many fast animals that are uncomparable with their body sizes. https://www.popsci.com/fastest-animals





“Deer Are Carnivores?”

Deers are known for their gentle and beautiful sight in the forests. They are known to be seen nibbling on grass or fruits. However, after a discovery from the Forensic scientists you may want to reconsidered this. On January 5, 2015 as they were looking back for research they saw a young deer with a human rib sticking out of it mouth. That is not the last time they saw it, they saw it again but not sure if it the same deer. This lead to conclusion that in the future herbivores will start eating carcass for more nutrients that they are missing. https://www.popsci.com/deer-eating-human-remains





“Dumbo Like Ears”

In mammals, elephants have been known for their big body and ears. They have big ears to cool down from their blood vessels. However, elephants are not the only mammals with huge ears, there are other mammals that also acquire the trait. For example, Jerbos is a rodent with ears that is one-third length of it body and it is used to cool down in hot temperature. Then there are bats with their large ears to help catch their next meal. Those big ears have detect the slight sound that the flies make by catching frequencies and soundwaves. While, foxes huge ears not only help them hear better but also reduce heat as well. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/04/biggest-ears-elephants-jerboa-bats/





“Coffee Legacy”

Farming is a lot of hard labor and to top it off to be a coffee farmer it takes a lot of work. On average, coffee farmers spent about 35 years of planting, harvesting, and processing coffee. Also not recently, retirement for the farmers were impossible and so many people left for the cities with less intense work. This mean that no farmers have no one to pass their farm onto and that mean no one to plant, harvest, and process the coffee. Now there are retirement for the farmers and farmers who sign up for retirement get Nespresso AAA certification and other benefits now. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/destinations/south-america/colombia/partner-content-colombia-aguadas-securing-livelihood-generations-coffee-farmers/





“Unhealthy Diets”

Every year, people died by a lack of nutrients such as processed meats and giant soda and lack of grains. Every year, 11 million of people died due to the lack of nutrients and bad diets. The most responsible death is because of too much sodium and lack of whole grains which claim 3 million lives in 2017. Now scientists found the likely risks of death and it usually apply to eating too much salts and too little beans. Eating fiber have no issue but then you shouldn’t smoke or sit around too much. Diet can improve by having less red meat such as processed meat and eat vegetables and fruits. https://www.popsci.com/diet-kills-more-people-worldwide-than-any-other-risk-factor#page-3





“History Of The Sakura Trees”

Every spring thousands of people gathered around the White House to see the captivating sight of the sakura trees. However, the trees weren’t there for more than a century ago and it was thanks to David Fairchild. He was searching for a plant that have economic value for farmers. In 1902 Fairchild found cherry blossom and ordered 125 trees to his home in Maryland. The owner Yokohama was very pleased with her american customer that she sold all trees for 10 cents. Since then the tradition of going to Washington D.C. to see the Sakura trees continues. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/how-cherry-blossoms-came-to-america/





“The Next Pangaea”

Everyday the tectonic plates shift a little and not long many scientists predict that we would have an another pangaea. Continents will collide with one another and many oceans will close off by lands. Some believed that North America and Asia will collide somewhere near Hawaii, while other believed that South America and Africa will meet and close off the Atlantic Ocean. But most all believed that after 100 million years we would have to redraw our map which will be very different from today. Just how will the new map will look will lead to many investigation and experiment such as using the magnetic field. https://www.popsci.com/where-will-earths-continents-go-next



“Manure to Feces”

Fertilizer are the key point in farming and agriculture, it is what give the soil nutrients that the plants need to grow. Before people count on manure to fertilize their soils but before that people actually depends on bird poop for fertilizing. As birds come and eat anchovies and many different types of fishes in Peruvian coastal island leaves many piles of bird feces. Also in many places they also uses ammonia which is a compound of nitrogen and hydrogen and today it can be used as a fertilizer and it is responsible for feeding one-third to one-half of the world. https://www.popsci.com/wild-at-heart-excerpt#page-2





“Earth Is Round”

Today it is obvious that earth is round and it is considered ridiculous to argue wrong. Especially when technology is advancing. We know it by the moon phases as moon revolve around earth we can see it spherical shape which also proves that the earth is round and spherical. Also we can tell from the ships and the horizon. Long ago when travelers went on voyages and were confused when they came back from where they came from. Furthermore, you don’t have to do much research you can figure it out by looking through a telescope and looking at other planets which are round. https://www.popsci.com/10-ways-you-can-prove-earth-is-round#page-13




“Monkeys Hardship”

Gelada monkeys living at 11,000 feet from the ground have a sturdy everyday life. They spent their days looking for food such as herbs on the ground. Eating most of their day can be a challenge for the monkeys as there are predators around them. Fearing from predators such as lions and tigers to humans to their own kinds. Since many of them live near the cities there are more chances of them getting hit by cars and buses. Today many villages banned poachers and overgrazing to protect the monkeys. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/03/gelada-monkeys-survive-harsh-climate-in-ethiopian-highlands/





“Window Killing”

In urban cities it is common for skyscrapers to have glasses as a design. However, not many people know the danger of having glass. Especially, for migrating birds that headed north might be able to see the glass due to it reflection of the sky and could possibly run into it. This could kill them or hurt them tremendously as in hurting their wings and unable to fly which can be a big threat due to predators lurking the busy streets. Without birds the population of mosquitoes and other insects will increase. Also it will affect the economies for entertainment as bird watching will disappear because of the lack of birds. https://www.popsci.com/bird-window-collision-prevention





“Cold War”

After World War II, United States and Soviet Union began to hate and distrust each other. There would be many competition such as who would land on the moon first. The U.S. later began to fund to help the economies of Turkey and Greece. Which later on joined to become a non-communist state. Meanwhile, U.S.S.R joined to become a communist state and spent trillion of money on testing nuclear arsenal which bought the cold war even closer. The Cold War was the effect of distrust and competitive between the U.S. and S.U. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/cold-war/



“Methane From Trees”

One of the causes of global warming is the pollution being release in the air and a very common thing methane. Studies have shown that trees also produce methane, producing methane could be a huge impact on the world because methane is the second most cause of global warming after carbon dioxide; it is powerful at trapping heat such causes greenhouse gases. Although trees are helpful in getting rid of global warming, they are in fact also hurting the environment. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/03/trees-release-methane-what-it-means-climate-change/





“Welcoming Leopards In India”

Leopards which used to known as an endangered species are now being welcomed in India as their new homes. Leopards are so endangered that in fact researchers and scientists who have been studying across Africa hardly ever seen one. This is due to hunting for fur, religious rituals, and protection. Now India is bringing back more leopards back to it home and have laws protecting it from it natural home. Now if a leopards took away a livestock the farmers got something as an exchange and this will prevents farmers from killing more leopards. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/03/leopards-coexist-hindu-community-india/



“Too Much Aspirin”

Aspirins are highly used pills and mostly taken by adults. It help reduce heart strokes and heart attacks. But study show that aspirin doesn’t help as much as it is taken. In fact, it can hurt the patient more than it help the patient. Aspirins prevent blood from clotting easily which mean that you can bleed out from small wounds. If blood flow out it prevent the blood from going to the heart which cause heart attack or if it fail to flow to the brain it cause stroke. Due to this many people should consider whether if it’s worth the risk. https://www.popsci.com/daily-aspirin-could-do-more-harm-than-good




“Plastics And Whales”

In Davao City, in Philippines a whale was found vomiting blood as it swim over the Gulf of Davao. Not shortly after it died marine mammal expert took the whale back to his lab and cut it stomach to find 88 pounds of plastics jammed in the belly. The plastics were tightly packed together that it have the density of a baseball. The whole male whale died due to the dehydration and starvation from the plastic bags. If no action is taken more and more whales are prone to die. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/03/whale-dies-88-pounds-plastic-philippines/



“Rats On The Menu”

To some people rats are a nice pets to have for some they are annoying house pests. However, for the people in Vietnam they are a source of meat. Vietnamese people cook two types of rats the rice field rats and the bandicoot rats. In the world at least 89 different rodents are eaten around the world from Asia to Africa to South America. Rats are easy to catch and find as they live in farms and houses. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/03/vietnam-rats-eating-food-cuisine/


“Women Today”

In the past women were seen as housewives and inferior compared to men. However, now today in society women does about the same job as men do. Today women do both housewives and work as some living in a less-developed countries work as farmers. The main problems is that even though women farmers are increasing most women can’t hold lands. This can cause many shortage of food. Women for a long time now been contributing more and more to the society. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/03/partner-content-empowering-female-farmers/


“Lucky Charm”

Back in the times some animals were worshiped as gods and other are seen as luck. As in Cambodia they see fish as wealthy and good luck. Also in asia and europe crickets are also considered as good luck or charm. Beetles seems dangerous but in Egypt they are the most important amulet. In addition to the crickets, cranes are also seen as good luck in both China and Japan. In every countries there are different types of charms and animals that are considered as luck. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/03/lucky-animals-world-ireland-saint-patricks-day/


“Destroyed City”

In Ukraine many people were being killed, schools were destroyed and students and teachers stay home afraid. Schools are there to make the countries a better place but as students and teachers stay at home, the student are behind on their curriculums and it interfered with their school life. Now children who are age 6-7 are being trained in military training and learning to protect themselves. They are also being taught of the importance of defending your own land and country. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/03/ukranian-children-train-for-violent-future/


“Researchers Arrested” In January of 2018 Morad Tahbaz was arrested and eight other members were also arrested on the 24 and 25. But later on researcher Emami one of the arrested researchers committed suicide. Not long the government decided to give the rest of the prisoners a death penalties due to the Corruption on Earth. This created many fusses and many problems for the government. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/03/iran-wildlife-conservationists-jailed/


“How Diets Affect Us Verbally”

Our diets might be one of the thing that can have an impact on how we speak. Long ago our ancestors are known for eating raw foods which mean the jaws used to strong and hard. But as time passed they learn how to make fire and learn how to cook the meats. Since then our ancestors have evolved from eating raw meats to tender and cooked meats. Which change our jaw compositions and how we sound. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/03/change-in-diet-may-have-changed-human-language-f-v-agriculture/




"What A Refugee”

Today no one know the difference between a immigrant and a refugee. A refugee is someone who escaped from their countries to escape danger or persecution. In 1915 it was agreed that a refugee is someone who is outside of his or her own country of nationality and have a great amount of fear of being persecuted because of their own race, religion, and their society and unwilling to return to their own country. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/what-is-a-refugee/




“Wart Pigs”

When someone mention pigs you would usually think about the pink pig that are usually seen and shown in T.V. But there are many other species of pigs and one of them are the Wart. It is known to be found in the Philippines and Indonesia and tend to have a darker skin tone. THe male warts tend to have 3 bumps on their face which are not warts but cartilaginous protuberances. Now living in Florida they are known for being endangered species. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/03/wild-warty-national-pigs-day/



“Dog Mind”

It is said that dogs and their owners are tend to have some kind of connections whether they look alike or have similar traits. Now scientists are discovering that not only can they look alike but have similar personalities. It is studied that a highly agreeable person have a higher chance of having a dog that is energetic and playful. Now scientists began wondering how those ideas link together. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/03/dogs-and-owners-have-similar-personalities/



"Rarest Fish"

The world rarest fish the Devil Hole pupfish population dropped dramatically in 2017 when a scientist was studying. He discovered that the fish population dropped to only 35 fish left alive in 2013. That not only it to the surprising discovery there was a reason for it small population. Scientists found that a diving beetle was eating all the eggs and the larvae which lower many of the fish populations. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/03/endangered-devils-hole-pupfish-breeding-breakthrough/




"First Extinct Mammal"

Lately, climate change have been a challenge for our communities. As we debate and disagree many animals are losing their homes. This includes the Bramble Cay Melomys also known as mosaic-tailed mouse had been reported the first mammal extinct. It was last seen in 2009 by a fishermen and failed to catch it. By 2014 no one can spot the mouse anymore, it is known that they extinct due to the island lost of vegetation. If no action can be taken most mammal will soon be extinct.https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/06/first-mammal-extinct-climate-change-bramble-cay-melomys/


"T.rex Ancestors"

The Tyrannosaurus rex (T.rex) was not always big and mighty as one has seen. Their ancestor were much smaller and quicker on feet barely 5 feet tall and was known as the smallest dinosaurs. It is called the Moros Intrepidus it known to live in the Cretaceous period between 66 million to 145 million years ago. Moros are known for hunting along with larger meat hunter called Allosaurus. After the Allosaurus went extinct the Moros began to increase it size and adapted to it environment. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/02/new-tiny-t-rex-relative-moros-fills-north-american-fossil-gap/


"Eating To Death"

Our ancestors were known for killing many large animals for food such as: mammoths and mastodons and many more. We were the reason why they went extinct by the Pleistocene, nearly 12,000 years ago our ancestors has already killed all the living animals. To this day it haven’t change, we are still hunting large animals such as lions, tigers, and sharks. It this doesn’t stop the animals would mostly likely be extinct by our future generations. https://www.popsci.com/eating-large-animals-into-extinction

"Eating To Death"
Our ancestors were known for killing many large animals for food such as: mammoths and mastodons and many more.

      • I would suggest splitting this sentence into two. The first sentence of the article should grab the reader's attention without being too long.
      • A colon isn't necessary unless you are listing more than just two animals.
      • Correction: Our ancestors were known for killing many large animals for food. These animals included mammoths, mastodons, and many more.


We were the reason why they went extinct by the Pleistocene, nearly 12,000 years ago our ancestors has already killed all the living animals.

      • The comma here can be replaced with a semicolon. This is because it is two different sentences, but very closely related.
      • Clarify what you mean by "they" went extinct.
      • There should be a comma after "nearly 12,000 years ago."
      • "Has" should be past tense.
      • Include "of" between "all the."
      • Correction: We were the reason why these animals went extinct by the Pleistocene; nearly 12,000 years ago, our ancestors had already killed all of the living animals.


To this day it haven’t change, we are still hunting large animals such as lions, tigers, and sharks.

      • "Haven't" should be "hasn't."
      • "Change" should be "changed."
      • A semicolon is necessary here in place of the comma. Using the comma to separate two independent clauses is considered a comma splice. But, the two clauses are too closely related to reasonably separate the sentence into two different sentences.
      • Correction: To this day it hasn't changed; we are still hunting large animals such as lions, tigers, and sharks.


It this doesn’t stop the animals would mostly likely be extinct by our future generations.

      • Switch "it" for "if."
      • There should be a comma after "stop."
      • Since you are speaking for the future, replace "would" with "will."
      • "Mostly likely" can just be "most likely."
      • You can drop the word "our."
      • Correction: If this doesn't stop, the animals will most likely be extinct by future generations.


https://www.popsci.com/eating-large-animals-into-extinction

Eating To Death
Our ancestors were known for killing many large animals for food. These animals included mammoths, mastodons, and many more. We were the reason why these animals went extinct by the Pleistocene; nearly 12,000 years ago, our ancestors had already killed all of the living animals. To this day it hasn't changed; we are still hunting large animals such as lions, tigers, and sharks. If this doesn't stop, the animals will most likely be extinct by future generations.
https://www.popsci.com/eating-large-animals-into-extinction

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

"No More Insects"
Insects are seen as annoying and hateful little creatures yet they also support the balance of the ecosystem. Without them the ecosystem would drop dramatically. In recent years the populations of butterflies and bees have dropped more than 75%. As on way know bees and butterflies are the pollinators. This mean that without them plants and trees populations would also drop.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/02/why-insect-populations-are-plummeting-and-why-it-matters/

"No More Insects"
Insects are seen as annoying and hateful little creatures yet they also support the balance of the ecosystem.

      • I wouldn't use the word "hateful" to describe insects, so I'd drop this descriptive word. You can either drop this word or replace it with a word related to how people feel when they see insects.
      • There should be a comma before "yet."
      • Correction: Insects are seen as annoying little creatures, yet they also support the balance of the ecosystem.


Without them the ecosystem would drop dramatically.

      • There should be a comma after "without them."
      • Saying the ecosystem would "drop" doesn't seem to make sense. I would use a word like "suffer."
      • Correction: Without them, the ecosystem would suffer dramatically.


In recent years the populations of butterflies and bees have dropped more than 75%.

      • There should be a comma after "in recent years."
      • Correction: In recent years, the populations of butterflies and bees have dropped more than 75%.


As on way know bees and butterflies are the pollinators.

      • I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "as on way know."
      • Correction: Bees and butterflies are the pollinators of the ecosystem.


This mean that without them plants and trees populations would also drop.

      • Pluralize "mean."
      • There should be a comma after "without them."
      • "Tree" and "plant" can be singular.
      • Correction: This means that without them, plant and tree populations would also drop.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/02/why-insect-populations-are-plummeting-and-why-it-matters/

No More Insects
Insects are seen as annoying little creatures, yet they also support the balance of the ecosystem. Without them, the ecosystem would suffer dramatically. In recent years, the populations of butterflies and bees have dropped more than 75%. Bees and butterflies are the pollinators of the ecosystem. This means that without them, plant and tree populations would also drop.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/02/why-insect-populations-are-plummeting-and-why-it-matters/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


"Largest Shark Gone"
On December 23, 2007 paleontologist Robert Boessenecker found an large greenish shark tooth. Sooner he came to realized that this tooth belong to Megalodon one of the largest shark which extinct for about 3.6 million years ago. But what bothered Robert was how it became extinct and there is one theory of great white shark attacking the Megalodons. Due to their great strength and their sizes.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/02/megalodon-extinct-great-white-shark/

"Largest Shark Gone"
On December 23, 2007 paleontologist Robert Boessenecker found an large greenish shark tooth.

      • There needs to be a comma after the date.
      • "An" should be "a" because the next word begins with a consonant.
      • Correction: On December 23, 2007, paleontologist Robert Boessenecker found a large greenish shark tooth.


Sooner he came to realized that this tooth belong to Megalodon one of the largest shark which extinct for about 3.6 million years ago.

      • "Sooner" should be "soon."
      • "Realized" should be "realize."
      • "Belong" should be "belonged" because it used to belong to that shark.
      • There should be a comma after "Megalodon."
      • "Shark" should be plural.
      • Include "has been" between "which extinct."
      • Remove "ago" from the end.
      • Correction: Soon he came to realize that this tooth belonged to Megalodon, one of the largest sharks which has been extinct for about 3.6 million years.


But what bothered Robert was how it became extinct and there is one theory of great white shark attacking the Megalodons.

      • Avoid starting a sentence with "but." This can simply be dropped.
      • There should be a period after "extinct" and this can be split into two sentences.
      • Correction: What bothered Robert was how it became extinct.


there is one theory of great white shark attacking the Megalodons.

      • "Great white shark" should be plural.
      • This can actually be combined with the next sentence.


Due to their great strength and their sizes.

      • You can remove the second "their" because it is repetitive and unnecessary.
      • "Sizes" can be singular.
      • Correction: There is one theory of great white sharks attacking the Megalodons due to their great strength and size.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/02/megalodon-extinct-great-white-shark/

Largest Shark Gone
On December 23, 2007, paleontologist Robert Boessenecker found a large greenish shark tooth. Soon he came to realize that this tooth belonged to Megalodon, one of the largest sharks which has been extinct for about 3.6 million years. What bothered Robert was how it became extinct. There is one theory of great white sharks attacking the Megalodons due to their great strength and size.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/02/megalodon-extinct-great-white-shark/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


"Greener Future"
In the recent research many people wanted to reduce the limit human driven climate change and use more renewable sources like the wind and solar. Now this new proposal is called the “Green New Deal”. Which will limit human waste and will offer more work for the poor and communities. The debate is still going on for how to approach the plan and the agreement of the people.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/02/3-steps-green-new-deal-must-pass-to-work/

"Greener Future"
In the recent research many people wanted to reduce the limit human driven climate change and use more renewable sources like the wind and solar.

      • You can remove "the" from the beginning.
      • There should be a comma after "research."
      • Include "of" between "limit" and "human."
      • There should be a dash between "human driven."
      • You can remove "the" before "wind and solar."
      • Correction: In recent research, many people wanted to reduce the limit of human-driven climate change and use more renewables sources like wind and solar.


Now this new proposal is called the “Green New Deal”.

      • You can remove "now" from the beginning of the sentence.
      • The period should be before the quotation. The general rule is that punctuation always goes inside of quotations.
      • Correction: This new proposal is called the "Green New Deal."


Which will limit human waste and will offer more work for the poor and communities.

      • Replace "which" for "the proposal."
      • Replace "will" for "could."
      • You can remove the second "will" because it is unnecessary.
      • Correction: The proposal could limit human waste and offer more work for the poor and communities.


The debate is still going on for how to approach the plan and the agreement of the people.

      • "The agreement of the people" is a little unclear. Try "get everyone on board."
      • Correction: The debate is still going on for how to approach the plan and get everyone on board.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/02/3-steps-green-new-deal-must-pass-to-work/

Greener Future
In recent research, many people wanted to reduce the limit of human-driven climate change and use more renewable sources like wind and solar. This new proposal is called the "Green New Deal." The proposal could limit human waste and offer more work for the poor and communities. The debate is still going on for how to approach the plan and get everyone on board.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/02/3-steps-green-new-deal-must-pass-to-work/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Exotic Pets
Raising wild pets may sound fun and exciting at first but it can be a difficult and dangerous task. For instance the red panda who is known for their fluffy red fur seem like an adorable pet to have but they release an unpleasant odor when feeling threatened. Also their huge strong claws can easily cut skins and destroyed furnitures. Before considering having an exotic pets make sure to consider all the consequences that can happen.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/01/cute-wild-animals-make-terrible-pets/

Exotic Pets
Raising wild pets may sound fun and exciting at first but it can be a difficult and dangerous task.

      • There should be a comma after "first." This separates the two ideas.
      • Correction: Raising wild pets may sound fun and exciting at first, but it can be a difficult and dangerous task.


For instance the red panda who is known for their fluffy red fur seem like an adorable pet to have but they release an unpleasant odor when feeling threatened.

      • There should be a comma after "For instance."
      • There should also be a comma after "red panda."
      • Switch "who" for "which."
      • "Their" should be "its" because you are referring to "the red panda", which is singular.
      • There should be a comma after "red fur."
      • "Seem" should be "seems."
      • Again, since you are referring to the singular "red panda," you should switch "they" for "it."
      • Correction: For instance, the red panda, which is known for its fluffy red fur, seems like an adorable pet to have, but it releases an unpleasant odor when feeling threatened.


Also their huge strong claws can easily cut skins and destroyed furnitures.

      • There should be a comma after "also."
      • Again, "their" should be "its."
      • "Skins" should be singular.
      • "Destroyed" should be "destroy" because it is not happening in the past.
      • Correction: Also, its huge strong claws can easily cut skin and destroy furniture.


Before considering having an exotic pets make sure to consider all the consequences that can happen.

      • "Pets" should be singular.
      • There should be a comma after "exotic pet" to separate the two ideas.
      • Include "of" between "all the."
      • You can remove "that can happen" from the end because it is unnecessary.
      • Correction: Before considering having an exotic pet, make sure to consider all of the consequences.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/01/cute-wild-animals-make-terrible-pets/

Exotic Pets
Raising wild pets may sound fun and exciting at first, but it can be a difficult and dangerous task. For instance, the red panda, which is known for its fluffy red fur, seems like an adorable pet to have, but it releases an unpleasant odor when feeling threatened. Also, its huge strong claws can easily cut skin and destroy furniture. Before considering having an exotic pet, make sure to consider all of the consequences.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/01/cute-wild-animals-make-terrible-pets/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

The Book Of Afterlife
Back in the ancient Egypt, as soon as people began to learn hierography they began to record many things such as stories like the afterlife. These passages have been found on tombs, papyrus, and bandages used to mummified humans. No one really knew when the book came out but it was dated to the 13th dynasty to Queen Mentuhotep.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/archaeology-and-history/magazine/2016/01-02/egypt-book-of-the-dead/

The Book Of Afterlife
Back in the ancient Egypt, as soon as people began to learn hierography they began to record many things such as stories like the afterlife.

      • "The" can be removed before "ancient Egypt."
      • There should be a comma after "as soon as people began to learn hierography."
      • I assume you mean stories of the afterlife.
      • Correction: Back in ancient Egypt, as soon as people began to learn hierography, they began to record many things such as stories of the afterlife.


These passages have been found on tombs, papyrus, and bandages used to mummified humans.

      • "Mummified" should be "mummify."
      • Correction: These passages have been found on tombs, papyrus, and bandages used to mummify humans.


No one really knew when the book came out but it was dated to the 13th dynasty to Queen Mentuhotep.

      • I would say no one really knows, rather than no one knew.
      • There should be a comma after "out."
      • Try switching the wording up a bit to say "but it dates back to the 13th dynasty."
      • It isn't clear what book you are referring to, because you haven't mentioned it in the rest of the article. Include a sentence before this one which introduces the book of the dead and what it is.
      • Correction: No one really knows when the book came out, but it dates back to the 13th dynasty to Queen Mentuhotep.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/archaeology-and-history/magazine/2016/01-02/egypt-book-of-the-dead/

The Book of Afterlife
Back in ancient Egypt, as soon as people began to learn hierography, they began to record many things such as stories of the afterlife. These passages have been found on tombs, papyrus, and bandages used to mummify humans. No one really knows when the book came out, but it dates back to the 13th dynasty of Queen Mentuhotep.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/archaeology-and-history/magazine/2016/01-02/egypt-book-of-the-dead/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


The Next Door
As the universe expands the milky way will one day crashed into our neighbor Andromeda galaxy. Many well known astronomers and physics are trying to foretell when this happens. According to the Astrophysical Journal it was predicted that it will crash 3.9 billion years from now but it was pushed back to 600 million years. But no one is certain of the exact date or what might happen.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/02/milky-way-galaxy-to-collide-with-andromeda-but-when-gaia-spacecraft/

The Next Door
As the universe expands the milky way will one day crashed into our neighbor Andromeda galaxy.

      • There should be a comma after "As the universe expands."
      • "Milky Way" should be capitalized.
      • "Crashed" should be in future tense.
      • Include "the" before Andromeda galaxy. Include a comma before this as well.
      • Correction: As the universe expands, the Milky Way will one day crash into our neighbor, the Andromeda galaxy.


Many well known astronomers and physics are trying to foretell when this happens.

      • There should be a dash between "well-known."
      • "Happens" should be future tense--"will happen."
      • Correction: Many well-known astronomers and physics are trying to foretell when this will happen.


According to the Astrophysical Journal it was predicted that it will crash 3.9 billion years from now but it was pushed back to 600 million years.

      • There should be a comma after "Astrophysical Journal."
      • There should be either a semicolon or a period after "it will crash 3.9 billion years from now."
      • Switch "but it was" for "this was later."
      • Correction: According to the Astrophysical Journal, it was predicted that it will crash 3.9 billion years from now; this was later pushed back to 600 million years.


But no one is certain of the exact date or what might happen.

      • Try not to start a sentence with "but." Try saying something like "Although there are estimations, . . ."
      • Correction: Although there are estimations, no one is certain of the exact date or what exactly might happen.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/02/milky-way-galaxy-to-collide-with-andromeda-but-when-gaia-spacecraft/

The Next Door
As the universe expands, the Milky Way will one day crash into our neighbor, the Andromeda galaxy. Many well-known astronomers and physics are trying to foretell when this will happen. According to the Astrophysical Journal, it was predicted that it will crash 3.9 billion years from now; this was later pushed back to 600 million years. Although there are estimations, no one is certain of the exact date or what exactly might happen.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/02/milky-way-galaxy-to-collide-with-andromeda-but-when-gaia-spacecraft/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Hi Thth,
You need to create your own titles for the articles summaries.


Bloody Moon 

On Sunday January 22 there was a blood moon and many of those who are lucky enough to see it report seeing a lust of dust coming out of the moon. Thinking that a meteor might have hit it. A meteor about the size of this meteor hit the moon every week or so but this event happened infrequently. Now scientists are taking a step on studying the moon crater.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/01/meteor-hit-the-moon-during-blood-moon-eclipse-heres-what-we-know/

Bloody Moon
On Sunday January 22 there was a blood moon and many of those who are lucky enough to see it report seeing a lust of dust coming out of the moon.

      • There should be a comma after "Sunday." Dates are written in the format "Sunday, January 22nd."
      • Upon reading the article, the blood moon occurred on January 20th, but the article was written on January 22nd.
      • There should also be a comma after the date.
      • This sentence can be broken into two sentences. A period can be included after "blood moon."
      • Correction: On Sunday, January 20th, there was a blood moon.


many of those who are lucky enough to see it report seeing a lust of dust coming out of the moon.

      • This is past tense, so switch "are" for "were" and "report" to "reported."
      • "A lust of" can be removed.
      • Replace "out of" with "from."
      • Correction: Many of those who were lucky enough to see it reported seeing dust coming from the moon.


Thinking that a meteor might have hit it.

      • This sentence is a fragment (incomplete sentence). Replace "thinking" with "they thought."
      • Correction: They thought that a meteor might have hit it.


A meteor about the size of this meteor hit the moon every week or so but this event happened infrequently.

      • "About the size of this meteor" is unclear, because it hasn't been established what size the meteor was or even that there was certainly a meteor at all. It can be removed.
      • "Hit" should be "hits."
      • There should be a comma after "every week or so."
      • By "this event," do you mean viewing it?
      • "Happened" should be "happens."
      • Correction: A meteor hits the moon every week or so, but actually viewing it happens infrequently.


Now scientists are taking a step on studying the moon crater.

      • There should be a comma after "now."
      • "Taking steps" makes more sense than "taking a step."
      • I would replace "on studying" with "to study."
      • Correction: Now, scientists are taking steps to study the moon crater.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/01/meteor-hit-the-moon-during-blood-moon-eclipse-heres-what-we-know/

Bloody Moon
On Sunday, January 20th, there was a blood moon. Many of those who were lucky enough to see it reported seeing dust coming from the moon. They thought that a meteor might have hit it. A meteor hits the moon every week or so, but actually viewing it happens infrequently. Now, scientists are taking steps to study the moon crater.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2019/01/meteor-hit-the-moon-during-blood-moon-eclipse-heres-what-we-know/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

Water Floater The sea cucumber are also known as sea slug for their slow speed. However, not until recently scientists found that there is a major fact that isn’t discovered yet. Sea cucumber can balloon up and ride with the current of the ocean. Sea cucumbers are important part of the ecosystem because they vacuum the sand and release cleaner one. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/01/sea-cucumber-bloat-zoom-fast-animals-news/

Water Floater
The sea cucumber are also known as sea slug for their slow speed.

      • If you say "the sea cucumber" then that is singular, so "are" should be "is."
      • Include "the" before "sea slug."
      • Since you are using singular nouns, switch "their" to "its" to keep this consistent.
      • Correction: The sea cucumber is also known as the sea slug for its slow speed.


However, not until recently scientists found that there is a major fact that isn’t discovered yet.

      • "Not until" is unnecessary in this instance.
      • "Fact" should be switched for a different word. Perhaps "skill."
      • The words "that there is" can be removed. It's not incorrect to include, but it also isn't necessary.
      • If scientists discovered it, then it wouldn't make sense to say it isn't discovered yet. Try saying "that no one had known about."
      • Correction: However, recently scientists discovered a major skill that no one had known about.


Sea cucumber can balloon up and ride with the current of the ocean.

      • "Sea cucumber" should be "the sea cucumber," as it was above.
      • Correction: The sea cucumber can balloon up and ride with the current of the ocean.


Sea cucumbers are important part of the ecosystem because they vacuum the sand and release cleaner one.

      • Input "an" between "are important."
      • I think it could be beneficial to say "vacuum up the sand" rather than just "vacuum the sand."
      • Exchange "release cleaner one" to "release it cleaner."
      • Correction: Sea cucumbers are an important part of the ecosystem because they vacuum up the sand and release it cleaner


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/01/sea-cucumber-bloat-zoom-fast-animals-news/

Water Floater
The sea cucumber is also known as the sea slug for its slow speed. However, recently scientists discovered a major skill that no one had known about. The sea cucumber can balloon up and ride with the current of the ocean. Sea cucumbers are an important part of the ecosystem because they vacuum up the sand and release it cleaner.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/01/sea-cucumber-bloat-zoom-fast-animals-news/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

No More Plants Today there are too many amount of carbon being release in the air for the plants to even help. In 2018 United States the amount of fossil fuel being release went up to 3.4%. This is a major problem because not only can’t the plants help but it also harm the plants as well. Plants help absorb half of the carbon being release and there are still more carbon in the ocean which later become coral bleaching. https://www.popsci.com/plants-offset-carbon-limited

No More Plants
Today there are too many amount of carbon being release in the air for the plants to even help.

      • There should be a comma after "today."
      • "Too many amount" is incorrect grammar; exchange for "too much." In that case, the preceding "are" should be "is."
      • "Release" should be "released."
      • "Released into the air" is a slightly better alternative to "released in the air."
      • "For the plants to even help" could use stronger wording. Swapping "to even help" with "to keep up with" accentuates the heavy carbon output and sounds just a bit better.
      • Correction: Today, there is too much carbon being released into the air for the plants to keep up with.


In 2018 United States the amount of fossil fuel being release went up to 3.4%.

      • Rather than "in 2018 United States," try "in the United States in 2018."
      • Switch "being released" to "was released."
      • I think you mean to say that it went up 3.4%, rather than it went up to 3.4%.
      • Correction: The amount of fossil fuel that was released in the United States in 2018 went up 3.4%.


This is a major problem because not only can’t the plants help but it also harm the plants as well.

      • "Because not only" should be switched to "not only because."
      • Again, switch "the plants can't help" to "the plants can't keep up."
      • Saying both "also" and "as well" is repetitive. One can be deleted.
      • There should be a comma between ideas; before "but also."
      • Correction: This is a major problem not only because the plants can't keep up, but also because it harms the plants.


Plants help absorb half of the carbon being release and there are still more carbon in the ocean which later become coral bleaching.

      • The word "being" can be removed.
      • "Are still more carbon" should be "is still more carbon."
      • There should be a comma before "which."
      • Switching "will later become" to "will likely lead to" is a more appropriate choice of words because the carbon doesn't actually become coral bleaching, but it causes coral bleaching.
      • Correction: Plants help absorb half of the carbon release and there is still more carbon in the ocean, which will likely lead to coral bleaching.


https://www.popsci.com/plants-offset-carbon-limited

No More Plants
Today, there is too much carbon being released into the air for the plants to keep up with. The amount of fossil fuel that was released in the United States in 2018 went up 3.4%. This is a major problem not only because the plants can't keep up, but also because it harms the plants. Plants help absorb half of the carbon release and there is still more carbon in the ocean, which will likely lead to coral bleaching.
https://www.popsci.com/plants-offset-carbon-limited

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Sleep Analysis

Sleep is one of the most important thing after food and water. It is recommended that a person is required to sleep an average of 7 or more hours of sleep. But now study show that Americans are sleeping less than they used to 13 years ago. Studies show that nearly one-third of adult americans sleep for less than 6 hours a day. Sleep is very important to maintain your body and your homeostasis. https://www.sciencenews.org/article/americans-are-sleeping-less-they-were-13-years-ago?tgt=nr

Sleep Analysis
Sleep is one of the most important thing after food and water.

      • Try replacing "things" with another word. Perhaps "human necessities."
    • Correction: Sleep is one of the most important human necessities after food and water.


It is recommended that a person is required to sleep an average of 7 or more hours of sleep.

      • You first say it is recommended and then you say it is required; the two conflict. You can simply remove "is required."
      • "Sleep" is a bit repetitive in this sentence. Swap "of sleep" for "a night" at the end.
      • Correction: It is recommended that a person sleep an average of 7 or more hours a night.


But now study show that Americans are sleeping less than they used to 13 years ago.

      • A sentence shouldn't start with "but." Switch the wording to "Studies show that Americans nowadays..."
      • Correction: Studies show that Americans nowadays are sleeping less than they used to 13 years ago.


Studies show that nearly one-third of adult americans sleep for less than 6 hours a day.

      • "Studies show" is repetitive. Instead, try "It is also shown."
      • "Americans" should be capitalized.
      • Correction: It is also shown that nearly one-third of adult Americans sleep for less than 6 hours a day.


Sleep is very important to maintain your body and your homeostasis.
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/americans-are-sleeping-less-they-were-13-years-ago?tgt=nr

Sleep Analysis
Sleep is one of the most important human necessities after food and water. It is recommended that a person sleep an average of 7 or more hours a night. Studies show that Americans nowadays are sleeping less than they used to 13 years ago. It is also shown that nearly one-third of adult Americans sleep for less than 6 hours a day. Sleep is very important to maintain your body and your homeostasis.
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/americans-are-sleeping-less-they-were-13-years-ago?tgt=nr

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

E-cigarettes Addiction

The usage of e-cigarettes for teenage has been increasing more than before. In 2018, 20.8 percent of teenager said they had used e-cigarettes in the last 30 days from 11.7 percent from 2017. This huge increase could be cause of the brand Juul which contain more nicotine than other e-cigarette brands. Which causes more addiction and can lead to many health problems. https://www.sciencenews.org/article/e-cigs-use-teens-vaping-2018-yir?tgt=nr

E-cigarettes Addiction

      • Capitalize "E-Cigarettes."


The usage of e-cigarettes for teenage has been increasing more than before.

      • "Usage" means how something is used, whereas "use" means the act of something being used. So in this instance, "usage" should be swapped for "use."
      • "Teenage" should be "teenagers."
      • I would switch "for teenagers" for "in teenagers."
      • Saying "has been increasing more than before" is slightly vague. Try saying "has increased dramatically in the past year." The word "dramatically" catches the reader's attention, and mentioning that it has been in a single year further emphasizes the increase.
      • Correction: The use of e-cigarettes in teenagers has dramatically increased in the past year.


In 2018, 20.8 percent of teenager said they had used e-cigarettes in the last 30 days from 11.7 percent from 2017.

      • "Teenager" should be pluralized.
      • To further distinguish the two statistics, try saying "In 2018, 20.8 percent of teenagers... compared with 11.7 percent from 2017."
      • Switch "from 2017" to "in 2017."
      • Correction: In 2018, 20.8 percent of teenagers said they had used e-cigarettes in the last 30 days, compared with 11.7 percent in 2017.


This huge increase could be cause of the brand Juul which contain more nicotine than other e-cigarette brands.

      • Rather than "cause of," try saying "caused by."
      • There should be a comma after "Juul."
      • "Contain" should be pluralized.
      • Correction: This huge increase could be caused by the brand Juul, which contains more nicotine than other e-cigarette brands.


Which causes more addiction and can lead to many health problems.

      • This sentence is a fragment (not a complete sentence). This is because there is no subject. Switch "which" for "a higher concentration of nicotine" so the reader knows exactly what you are talking about.
      • "Causes more addiction" isn't clear. Try saying "is more likely to result in addiction."
      • Correction: A higher concentration of nicotine is more likely to result in addiction and health problems.

https://www.sciencenews.org/article/e-cigs-use-teens-vaping-2018-yir?tgt=nr

E-Cigarettes Addiction
The use of e-cigarettes in teenagers has increased dramatically in the past year. In 2018, 20.8 percent of teenagers said they had used e-cigarettes in the last 30 days, compared with 11.7 percent in 2017. This huge increase could be caused by the brand Juul, which contains more nicotine than other e-cigarette brands. A higher concentration of nicotine is more likely to result in addiction and health problems.
https://www.sciencenews.org/article/e-cigs-use-teens-vaping-2018-yir?tgt=nr

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Weight Control

Weight are hard to control especially losing weight and it get challenging during holidays. Losing all those weight would be and it unhealthy to starve yourself. Instead you should try to exercise more. Exercising can help control your weight and help with metabolism which help with digestion. As long as you exercise maintaining your weight is much more healthier and safer for your body. https://www.popsci.com/how-to-not-gain-holiday-weight-diet#page-4

Weight Control
Weight are hard to control especially losing weight and it get challenging during holidays.

      • In this instance, "weight" is a singular concept rather than plural. So "are" would have to be switched out for "is." However, saying "weight is hard to control" is an opinion or perspective, which should be avoided when writing an article. You can fix this by saying "for some, weight can be hard to control." I would also cut this sentence off there so as to avoid a run-on.
      • Correction: For some, weight can be hard to control.


especially losing weight and it get challenging during holidays.

      • Saying "especially losing weight" might be offensive to people who struggle to gain weight. It's better to keep opinions out of this type of writing to avoid offending anyone.
      • Correction: Many people find it challenging to lose weight during the holidays in particular.


Losing all those weight would be and it unhealthy to starve yourself.

      • Again, weight is singular in this instance rather than plural.
      • Try to connect the last sentence about the holidays to this sentence.
      • Correction: Even if you need to lose a lot of weight from the holidays, it is unhealthy to starve yourself.


Instead you should try to exercise more.

      • There should be a comma after "instead."
      • Correction: Instead, you should try to exercise more.


Exercising can help control your weight and help with metabolism which help with digestion.

      • Switch the "and" to "by".
      • Switch "help" with "improve." It's just a slightly stronger word.
      • Correction: Exercising can help control your weight by improving your metabolism and digestion.


As long as you exercise maintaining your weight is much more healthier and safer for your body.

      • There should be a comma after "as long as you exercise."
      • "Much more healthier" is incorrect grammar. You can either drop "much more" or just "more".
      • Correction: As long as you exercise, maintaining your weight is much healthier and safer for your body.


https://www.popsci.com/how-to-not-gain-holiday-weight-diet#page-4

Weight Control
For some, weight can be hard to control. Many people find it challenging to lose weight during the holidays in particular. Even if you need to lose a lot of weight from the holidays, it is unhealthy to starve yourself. Instead, you should try to exercise more. Exercising can help control your weight by improving your metabolism and digestion. As long as you exercise, maintaining your weight is much healthier and safer for your body.
https://www.popsci.com/how-to-not-gain-holiday-weight-diet#page-4

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Vacation Plans 

Aruba’s Bucuti & Tara Beach Resort attracts many honeymooners and tourists. It have a breathtaking view and every year there is an annual cleanup. Not only that Bucuti’s owner Bieman set up to become the first carbon neutral resort in the Caribbean. The resort have the largest solar panels installation that the government allows. Not only is the resort beautiful but it is helping the environment.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/destinations/south-america/aruba/caribbean-carbon-neutral-resort-bucuti-is-sustainable-and-green/

Vacation Plans
Aruba’s Bucuti & Tara Beach Resort attracts many honeymooners and tourists.
It have a breathtaking view and every year there is an annual cleanup.

      • Swapping out "it" for "the resort" will improve the clarity just a little bit.
      • Correct "have" to "has."
      • There should be a comma after the word "view."
      • Correction: The resort has a breathtaking view, and every year there is an annual cleanup.


Not only that Bucuti’s owner Bieman set up to become the first carbon neutral resort in the Caribbean.

      • There should be a comma after "not only that."
      • The first time a name is introduced, the full name should be given. In this case, it would be Ewald Biemans.
      • It should be clarified what exactly Bieman set up. This might be implied, but not enough that it should be left out.
      • Correction: Not only that, but Bucuti's owner Ewald Biemans set up the resort to become the first carbon neutral resort in the Caribbean.


The resort have the largest solar panels installation that the government allows.

      • Again, change "have" to "has."
      • "Solar panels" does not need to be plural in this instance.
      • Correction: The resort has the largest solar panel installation that the government allows.


Not only is the resort beautiful but it is helping the environment.

      • You began a sentence with "not only" just a few sentences back, so different wording could be used here.
      • Try swapping out "helping" for a stronger choice of words to provide a greater impact in the final sentence.
      • Correction: While everyone can agree the resort is beautiful, it is also doing great things the environment.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/destinations/south-america/aruba/caribbean-carbon-neutral-resort-bucuti-is-sustainable-and-green/

Vacation Plans
Aruba's Bucuti & Tara Beach Resort attracts many honeymooners and tourists. The resort has a breathtaking view, and every year there is an annual cleanup. Not only that, but Bucuti's owner Ewald Biemans set up the resort to become the first carbon neutral resort in the Caribbean. The resort has the largest solar panel installation that the government allows. While everyone can agree the resort is beautiful, it is also doing great things for the environment.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/travel/destinations/south-america/aruba/caribbean-carbon-neutral-resort-bucuti-is-sustainable-and-green/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf 

Cats Everywhere
Today cats are one of the most loved household pets to have. However, there are many different types of cats. Stray cats are no different from a normal type of cats. While some cats are really shy other are very friendly. In Japan, cats are seen as good luck and have a special connection with the fishermen there. In Japan there are even a cat island where the island is filled with cat shrines and cats.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/12/street-cat-grand-odyssey-photos-morandi/

Cats Everywhere
Today cats are one of the most loved household pets to have.

      • I would remove the word "today" from this sentence, because I'm not sure that this is different today than in the past.
      • "To have" can also be removed, because it isn't necessary in this instance. The sentence can do without.
      • Correction: Cats are one of the most loved household pets.


However, there are many different types of cats.

      • The word "however" in this instance functions better when placed at the end of the sentence, rather than the beginning. When placed at the beginning, it implies a contrast between this statement and the one before. When placed at the end, it leads into the topic of different types of cats.
      • Correction: There are many different types of cats, however.


Stray cats are no different from a normal type of cats.

      • "A normal type of cats" sounds a bit unprofessional. What is the opposite of stray? Try "house cats."
      • Correction: Stray cats are no different from house cats.


While some cats are really shy other are very friendly.

      • The word "very" is a better replacement for the word "really"; in my opinion, it sounds a bit more formal.
      • There should be a comma after the word "shy."
      • "Other" should be pluralized -- "others."
      • Correction: While some cats are very shy, others are very friendly.


In Japan, cats are seen as good luck and have a special connection with the fishermen there.

      • The word "there" can be dropped from the end; it is unnecessary.
      • Correction: In Japan, cats are seen as good luck and have a special connection with the fishermen.


In Japan there are even a cat island where the island is filled with cat shrines and cats.

      • Starting the sentence with "in Japan" once again is repetitive. It is clear that you are talking about Japan in this sentence, even without mentioning it, because the previous sentence set this up.
      • "Are" should be "is."
      • Rather than say "a cat island," try saying "an island." When you say "cat island," the word "cat" sounds over-used.
      • "Where the island is" can be removed. It is repetitive.
      • I would switch "cat shrines and cats" to "cats and cat shrines."
      • Correction: There is even an island filled with cats and cat shrines.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/12/street-cat-grand-odyssey-photos-morandi/

Cats Everywhere
Cats are one of the most loved household pets. There are many different types of cats, however. Stray cats are no different from house cats. While some cats are very shy, others are very friendly. In Japan, cats are seen as good luck and have a special connection with the fishermen. There is even an island filled with cats and cat shrines.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/12/street-cat-grand-odyssey-photos-morandi/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Plastics Around The World
Every year about 18 billions of plastic is wasted and dumped into the sea. Those plastics are then causing problems for the sa creatures. Studies show that about 40 percent of the plastic produced are used for packaging and less than 5 percent are recycled. Scientists are trying to determined how to increased the number of recycling the plastics. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/07/ocean-plastic-pollution-solutions/

Plastics Around The World

      • "The" does not need capitalized in a title, unless it is the first word of the title.


Every year about 18 billions of plastic is wasted and dumped into the sea.

      • There should be a comma after "every year."
      • 18 billion what? I assume you mean pounds.
      • Correction: Every year, about 18 billion pounds of plastic is wasted and dumped into the sea.


Those plastics are then causing problems for the sa creatures.

      • Replace "those" with "these." This keeps the issue ongoing, rather than putting it in the past or separating it from our current situation.
      • Correct the spelling of "sea."
      • Correction: These plastics are then causing problems for the sea creatures.


Studies show that about 40 percent of the plastic produced are used for packaging and less than 5 percent are recycled.

      • Both of your uses of "are" should be switched for "is." This is because when you give a percentage, it acts as a single unit.
      • I found this sentence just a bit hard to comprehend. I think that is because I assume both percentages in the sentence contribute to the same thing, when actually, the first percentage relates to plastic production and the second relates to plastic recycling. This should be clarified.
      • Correction: Studies show that about 40 percent of the plastic produced is used for packaging, and less than 5 percent of plastic ends up getting recycled.


Scientists are trying to determined how to increased the number of recycling the plastics.

      • "Determine" is perhaps not the best word to use in this instance. It gives the impression that there is one for-sure answer that scientists just need to uncover. Replacing "trying to determine" with a phrase like "brainstorming" opens up a lot more possibilities and room for trial and error.
      • Because of the previous correction, "how" should be switched out for "ways."
      • "Increased" should be switched for "increase."
      • "The number of recycling" is in need of better wording. Try "the recycle rate."
      • "The" should be switched with "of."
      • You have referred to plastic as "plastic" rather than "plastics" throughout the article, so that should be the same in this last sentence.
      • Correction: Scientists are brainstorming ways to increase the recycle rate of plastic.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/07/ocean-plastic-pollution-solutions/

Plastics Around the World
Every year, about 18 billion pounds of plastic is wasted and dumped into the sea. These plastics are then causing problems for the sea creatures. Studies show that about 40 percent of the plastic produced is used for packaging, and less than 5 percent of plastic ends up getting recycled. Scientists are brainstorming ways to increase the recycle rate of plastic.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/07/ocean-plastic-pollution-solutions/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Victorina Morales Journey

Victorina Morales was an illegal immigrant but now living in New Jersey and working as a maid in Trump National Golf Club. Where she spend her time cleaning and when President Trump visited he gave her a certificate for her outstanding work of cleaning and maintaining his place. Ms. Morales later told the reporters that there are many illegals immigrants working here as well as her trying to make a living. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/06/us/trump-bedminster-golf-undocumented-workers.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

Victorina Morales Journey

      • If "Morales" is the last name, there needs to be an apostrophe to represent ownership, as it is her journey. Because her name ends in an "s", this apostrophe can go at the end.
      • Correction: Victorina Morales' Journey


Victorina Morales was an illegal immigrant but now living in New Jersey and working as a maid in Trump National Golf Club.

      • Switch out "was" for "is." Victorina Morales still appears to be an illegal immigrant, based on the information in the article.
      • Rather than "but now living," try saying "who lives."
      • "Working" can then be switched out for "works."
      • Switch out "in Trump National Golf Club" for "at Trump National Golf Club."
      • Correction: Victorina Morales is an illegal immigrant who lives in New Jersey and works as a maid at Trump National Golf Club.


Where she spend her time cleaning and when President Trump visited he gave her a certificate for her outstanding work of cleaning and maintaining his place.

      • It is unnecessary to start the sentence with the word "where." It also creates an incomplete sentence. This word can be removed.
      • "Spend" should be "spends."
      • A comma should be included after "she spends her time cleaning."
      • This sentence is a bit of a run-on. This can be fixed by switching out "when President Trump visited her he gave her a certificate" for "she was awarded a certificate by President Trump."
      • It has already been mentioned that Victorina Morales spends her time cleaning, so there is no need to explain what type of work the certificate is for. To do so is repetitive.
      • Correction: She spends her time cleaning, and was awarded a certificate by President Trump for her outstanding work.


Ms. Morales later told the reporters that there are many illegals immigrants working here as well as her trying to make a living.

      • "The reporters" should simply be "reporters." When you say "the reporters," it indicates a certain group of reporters which the reader has no knowledge of.
      • "Illegals immigrants" should be "illegal immigrants."
      • Where is "here"? Instead, say "at the golf club."
      • "As well as her trying to make a living" can be removed because it doesn't offer any new information.
      • Correction: Ms. Morales later told reporters that there are many illegal immigrants working at the golf club.


https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/06/us/trump-bedminster-golf-undocumented-workers.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

Victorina Morales' Journey
Victorina Morales is an illegal immigrant who lives in New Jersey and works as a maid at Trump National Golf Club. She spends her time cleaning, and was awarded a certificate by President Trump for her outstanding work. Ms. Morales later told reporters that there are many illegal immigrants working at the golf club.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/12/06/us/trump-bedminster-golf-undocumented-workers.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

Christmas In Netherland

The Dutch St. Nicholas holiday in Netherland is celebrated by people giving candy and gifts. But this year the parades have a negative affect due to the Santa’s blackface sidekick. The sidekick is a helper with blackface and wore a large golden earing and big lips. Now people are protesting on how unnecessary of the sidekicks. Now as a protest began began throwing eggs at the sidekicks and many insults as well. https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/12/black-pete-christmas-zwarte-piet-dutch/

Christmas In Netherland

      • Change "Netherland" to "the Netherlands."
      • Correction: Christmas in the Netherlands


The Dutch St. Nicholas holiday in Netherland is celebrated by people giving candy and gifts.

      • Again, switch "Netherland" to "the Netherlands."


But this year the parades have a negative affect due to the Santa’s blackface sidekick.

      • There should be a comma after "but this year."
      • I'm not sure that "affect" is the right word here (if it were, it should be switched to "effect" because it acts as a noun rather than a verb in this instance). I would switch out the phrase "have a negative affect" to "are receiving criticism."
      • Santa does not need to be preceded by "the."
      • Correction: But this year, the parades are receiving criticism due to Santa's blackface sidekick.


The sidekick is a helper with blackface and wore a large golden earing and big lips.

      • The beginning of this sentence feels a bit repetitive. You can simply say "the sidekick."
      • Correct the spelling of "earring."
      • I would begin the sentence by saying. "In the parade . . ."
      • Correction: In the parade, the sidekick wore a long golden earring and big lips.


Now people are protesting on how unnecessary of the sidekicks.

      • I would switch "now people are protesting" to "people are now protesting", for a slightly smoother read.
      • "How unnecessary of the sidekicks" needs some changes in wording. Try, "the necessity of the sidekick."
      • Correction: People are now protesting the necessity of the sidekick.


Now as a protest began began throwing eggs at the sidekicks and many insults as well.

      • After reading through the article myself, I see it mentions that people are actually throwing eggs at the protesters, not the sidekick itself.
      • Correction: Others have started throwing eggs at those who are protesting the sidekick.

https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/12/black-pete-christmas-zwarte-piet-dutch/

Christmas in the Netherlands
The Dutch St. Nicholas holiday in the Netherlands is celebrated by people giving candy and gifts. But this year, the parades are receiving criticism due to Santa's blackface sidekick. In the parade, the sidekick wore a long golden earring and big lips. People are now protesting the necessity of this character. Others have started throwing eggs at those who are protesting the sidekick.
https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/12/black-pete-christmas-zwarte-piet-dutch/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Trump Plans

President Trump is taking back Obama’s climate rule and was announced to lift some restrictions on greenhouse gases from the coal power plants. In addition to this, Trump also releases more land for drilling for oils. This will disturb the life of the wildlife there and their habitat. Also releasing more carbon dioxide will cause more climate changes and the amount of carbon released kept increasing. https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/03/how-trump-is-changing-science-environment/

Trump Plans

      • This title could be more specific. What sort of "plans" are you referring to? Try something like, "Trump's New Plans are Hurting the Environment" This not only lets the reader know what type of article they will be reading, but also grabs their attention and makes them want to know what Trump's new plans are and how they are hurting the environment.


President Trump is taking back Obama’s climate rule and was announced to lift some restrictions on greenhouse gases from the coal power plants.

      • This sentence is a mouthful; we can simplify it by changing the wording of "was announced to lift some restrictions" to "lifting restrictions."
      • Corrected sentence: President Trump is taking back Obama's climate rule and lifting restrictions on greenhouse gases from the coal power plants.


In addition to this, Trump also releases more land for drilling for oils.

      • You can simply say "in addition," rather than "in addition to this."
      • Maintain the same tense throughout the paragraph. Just as in the first sentence when you say "is taking," you should say "is releasing" in this sentence.
      • The word "for" sounds repetitive here. Try changing "for drilling" to "to drill."
      • Corrected sentence: In addition, Trump is releasing more land to drill for oils.


This will disturb the life of the wildlife there and their habitat.

      • Again, the word "life" sounds repetitive here. Your use of "the life" is actually unnecessary. It can simply read, "disturb the wildlife."
      • Including the word "there" is unnecessary and also a bit repetitive next to your use of "their".
      • Corrected sentence: This will disturb the wildlife and their habitat.


Also releasing more carbon dioxide will cause more climate changes and the amount of carbon released kept increasing.

      • A comma is needed after the word "also," however, I would actually remove this word from the beginning of the sentence. The last sentence of the article should be strong, and starting it with "also" weakens it just a bit.
      • Rather than say "cause more climate changes," try saying "worsen climate change."
      • I'm not quite sure what you mean by "the amount of carbon released kept increasing." I'm going to assume you mean that carbon output will continue to release because of the new changes Trump has made.
      • Corrected sentence: Releasing more carbon dioxide will worsen climate change, and carbon output from Trump's new plans will only continue to increase.


https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/03/how-trump-is-changing-science-environment/

Trump's New Plans are Hurting the Environment
President Trump is taking back Obama's climate rule and lifting restrictions on greenhouse gases from the coal power plants. In addition, Trump is releasing more land to drill for oils. This will disturb the wildlife and their habitat. Releasing more carbon dioxide will worsen climate change, and carbon output from Trump's new plans will only continue to increase.
https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/03/how-trump-is-changing-science-environment/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Equal Spaces 

Having equal living space for both wild animals and humans would be nice. Human populations kept increasing and taking up more living spaces. Which make it hard for the wildlife so scientists are now trying to create area where human and wildlife can live. However, due to the rapid increase in the human population it is challenging to attempt. But now scientists are experimenting more possible way for the wildlife to bond with the urban area.

https://elifesciences.org/articles/41348

Equal Spaces


Having equal living space for both wild animals and humans would be nice.

      • Saying "would be nice" is an opinion. Instead, try: Wild animals and humans do not currently share equal living space.


Human populations kept increasing and taking up more living spaces.

      • "Kept increasing" should be switched to the active form--"Continue to increase."
      • "taking" should be switched to "take."
      • "Spaces" shouldn't be plural in this instance.
      • Corrected sentence: Human populations continue to increase and take up more living space.


Which make it hard for the wildlife so scientists are now trying to create area where human and wildlife can live.

      • "Which" should be replaced with "this."
      • "Make" needs to be "makes."
      • There should be a comma after "wildlife."
      • A better substitute for "area" in this instance is "space."
      • I would include the world "both" to better express the shared space.
      • Corrected sentence: This makes it hard for wildlife, so scientists are now trying to create space where both humans and wildlife can live.


However, due to the rapid increase in the human population it is challenging to attempt.

      • There should be a comma after the word "population."
      • Corrected sentence: However, due to the rapid increase in the human population, it is challenging to attempt.


But now scientists are experimenting more possible way for the wildlife to bond with the urban area.

      • The word "but" should not be used to begin a sentence.
      • Rather than "now scientists are experimenting," try "scientist are now experimenting."
      • You should say "experimenting with"
      • "Way" needs to be pluralized.
      • Corrected sentence: Scientists are now experimenting with more possible ways for the wildlife to bond with the urban area.


https://elifesciences.org/articles/41348

Equal Spaces
Wild animals and humans do not currently share equal living space. Human populations continue to increase and take up more living space. This makes it hard for wildlife, so scientists are now trying to create space where both humans and wildlife can live. However, due to the rapid increase in the human population, it is challenging to attempt. Scientists are now experimenting with more possible ways for the wildlife to bond with the urban area.
https://elifesciences.org/articles/41348

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Survival 

Bengal tigers are now endangered as many people began to hunt them down. First Bengal tiger are a threat for the village people so many villagers began to kill them for safety. At the same time the tigers are hunted down for their bone for China for traditional medicine. In the early 1900s the population of the tigers dropped from 100,000 to 4,000 today. If nothing is done to save the Bengal tigers they could go extinct in the near future.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/11/pirates-are-killing-tigers/


Survival

      • This title doesn't give an idea as to what the article is about. Try "Bengal Tigers are Headed for Extinction."


Bengal tigers are now endangered as many people began to hunt them down.

      • "Began" should be replaced with "have begun."
      • Corrected sentence: Bengal tigers are now endangered as many people have begun to hunt them down.


First Bengal tiger are a threat for the village people so many villagers began to kill them for safety.

      • The word "first" can be dropped.
      • "Threat for the village people" should instead be "threat to the village people."
      • There should be a comma between the two clauses.
      • Rather than say "began to kill," I would make this sound like it is happening right now by saying "are killing."
      • Corrected sentence: Bengal tigers are a threat to the village people, so many villagers are killing them for safety.


At the same time the tigers are hunted down for their bone for China for traditional medicine.

      • There needs to be a comma after "At the same time."
      • There are too many "for"s here. Instead of saying "for China for traditional medicine," I would say "to be used in Chinese traditional medicine."
      • Corrected sentence: At the same time, the tigers are hunted down for their bone to be used in Chinese traditional medicine.


In the early 1900s the population of the tigers dropped from 100,000 to 4,000 today.

      • This sentence is a bit confusing and just needs some rewording. Try saying: The tiger population has dropped from 100,000 in the early 1900s to just 4,000 today.


If nothing is done to save the Bengal tigers they could go extinct in the near future.

      • A Comma is needed after "tigers."
      • Corrected sentence: If nothing is done to save the Bengal tigers, they could go extinct in the near future.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/11/pirates-are-killing-tigers/

Bengal Tigers are Headed for Extinction
Bengal tigers are now endangered as many people have begun to hunt them down. Bengal tigers are a threat to the village people, so many villagers are killing them for safety. At the same time, the tigers are hunted down for their bone to be used in Chinese traditional medicine. The tiger population has dropped from 100,000 in the early 1900s to just 4,000 today. If nothing is done to save the Bengal tigers, they could go extinct in the near future.
https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/11/pirates-are-killing-tigers/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf

Black Friday Event!

After Thanksgiving is the Black Friday sale that everyone look forward to. But little does anyone know how this can cause pollution. It is proved that online shopping can released more carbon than buying on foot. Due to shipping and fast transportation, many carbon are released into the air. Also clothing can cause more pollution as well. Buying new clothes will increase more textile waste. Overall shopping is enjoyable but be cautious of what you might be releasing in the atmosphere. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/11/how-black-friday-cyber-monday-impacts-environment/

Black Friday Event!

      • This title doesn't provide too much insight about the article. I would switch it for something like "The Environmental Effects of Black Friday."


After Thanksgiving is the Black Friday sale that everyone look forward to.

      • I would be more specific about when this sale occurs.
      • "Look" should have an "s" at the end.
      • Corrected sentence: The day after Thanksgiving is the Black Friday sale that everyone looks forward to.


But little does anyone know how this can cause pollution.

      • Rather than say "little does anyone know," try saying "many are unaware."
      • Corrected sentence: But many are unaware of the pollution this causes."


It is proved that online shopping can released more carbon than buying on foot.

      • "It is proved" should instead be "it has been proven."
      • "Released" should be in the present tense--"release."
      • Rather than say "on foot", try saying "in store."
      • Corrected sentence: It has been proven that online shopping can release more carbon than buying in store.


Due to shipping and fast transportation, many carbon are released into the air.

      • Rather than "many carbon," try saying "excessive amounts of carbon."
      • Corrected sentence: Due to shipping and fast transportation, excessive amounts of carbon are released into the air.


Also clothing can cause more pollution as well.

      • Saying both "also" and "as well" is repetitive. I would drop the "also" in this instance.


Buying new clothes will increase more textile waste.

      • Combine this sentence with the last, since they are short when standing on their own and they are very closely related.
      • Corrected sentence: Also, clothing can cause more pollution; buying new clothes will increase more textile waste.


Overall shopping is enjoyable but be cautious of what you might be releasing in the atmosphere.

      • Rather than say "overall shopping is enjoyable," try saying "while shopping can be enjoyable."
      • Corrected sentence: While shopping can be enjoyable, be cautious of what you might be releasing into the atmosphere.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/11/how-black-friday-cyber-monday-impacts-environment/

The Environmental Effects of Black Friday
The day after Thanksgiving is the Black Friday sale that everyone looks forward to. But many are unaware of the pollution this causes. It has been proven that online shopping can release more carbon than buying in store. Due to shipping and fast transportation, excessive amounts of carbon are released into the air. Also, clothing can cause more pollution; buying new clothes will increase more textile waste. While shopping can be enjoyable, be cautious of what you might be releasing into the atmosphere. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/11/how-black-friday-cyber-monday-impacts-environment/

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Dry Land
El Salvador is drying up and there is no certain how long the water will last. People there will go to the spring to shower and do their chores. Since the wells don't have enough water, more than 600,000 people have no access to drinking water. If there was water in the wells people will start fighting for it. The problem is none of the country's main rivers can be purified for drinking. This means there will be health problems.

Dry Land

      • Consider changing your title to be more specific. "Dry Land" can mean a broad range of things, but something like "El Salvador is Running Out of Water" catches the reader's interest and provides an idea of what the article is about.


El Salvador is drying up and there is no certain how long the water will last.

      • "No certain" should be replaced with "no way of knowing."
      • Corrected sentence: El Salvador is drying up and there is no way of knowing how long the water will last.


People there will go to the spring to shower and do their chores.

      • Change "will go" to "are going." This puts it into present tense rather than future tense.
      • Corrected sentence: People are going to the spring to shower and do their chores.


Since the wells don't have enough water, more than 600,000 people have no access to drinking water.
If there was water in the wells people will start fighting for it.

      • "If there was water in the wells" flows better if written as "Even if the wells did contain water."
      • Saying "people will start fighting for it" is an assumption, which should be avoided. Instead, say "it is likely that people would fight over it."
      • Corrected sentence: Even if the wells did contain water, it is likely that people would fight over it.


The problem is none of the country's main rivers can be purified for drinking.

      • The word "that" should be inserted after "the problem is."
      • Corrected sentence: The problem is that none of the country's main rivers can be purified for drinking.


This mean there will be health probelms.

      • This sentence could be more powerful with different wording.
      • Since you just used the word "problem" in the previous sentence, try a different word.
      • Corrected sentence: This will almost certainly lead to health consequences.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/11/el-salvador-water-crisis-drought-climate-change/

El Salvador is Running Out of Water
El Salvador is drying up and there is no way of knowing how long the water will last. People are going to the spring to shower and do their chores. Since the wells don't have enough water, more than 600,000 people have no access to drinking water. Even if the wells did contain water, it is likely that people would fight over it. The problem is that none of the country's main rivers can be purified for drinking. This will almost certainly lead to health consequences.

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf


Technology VS. Humanity

Are we in danger of losing our humanity? In the book Hello World: Being Human in the Age of Algorithms, the author inform us about our so lost humanity near the future with technology. The famous chess champion Gary Kasparov seem unbeatable back in the time. However, IBM built a manchine that can play chess and in 1977 the computer beated the famous chess player Gary Kasparov. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2018/11/algorithms-big-data-computer-dating-book-talk/

Technology VS. Humanity
Are we in danger of losing our humanity?
In the book Hello World: Being Human in the Age of Algorithms, the author inform us about our so lost humanity near the future with technology.

      • Book titles should be italicized.
      • "Inform" should be "informs."
      • "About our so lost humanity near the future with technology" is a bit confusing. Instead, try "of our loss of humanity with the future of technology."
      • Corrected sentence: In the book Hello World: Being Human in the Age of Algorithms, the author informs us of our loss of humanity with the future of technology.


The famous chess champion Gary Kasparov seem unbeatable back in the time.

      • There should be a comma before and after the name.
      • "Seem unbeatable back in the time" is confusing wording. Instead, try "used to seem unbeatable."
      • Corrected sentence: The famous chess champion, Gary Kasparov, used to seem unbeatable.


However, IBM built a manchine that can play chess and in 1977 the computer beated the famous chess player Gary Kasparov.

      • Corrected the spelling of "machine."
      • There should be a comma after "in 1977."
      • "Beat" is already past tense, so the "-ed" is unnecessary.
      • Since you have already introduced Gary Kasparov as a famous chess player, it is repetitive to do so again. Instead, you can use a simple pronoun--"him."
      • Combine this sentence with the one before using a semicolon, since the two are very closely related.
      • Corrected sentence: The famous chess champion, Gary Kasparov, used to seem unbeatable; however, IBM built a machine that can play chess and in 1977, the computer beat him.


https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2018/11/algorithms-big-data-computer-dating-book-talk/

Technology VS Humanity
Are we in danger of losing our humanity? In the book Hello World: Being Human in the Age of Algorithms, the author informs us of our loss of humanity with the future of technology. The famous chess champion, Gary Kasparov, used to seem unbeatable; however, IBM built a machine that can play chess and in 1977, the computer beat him.

Edited by: Brittni Shoaf



Thet, for ixl you need to work on definite and indefinite articles, all tenses of verbs, coordinating conjunctions. - Mr. Steve

Volcanoes Eruptions

United States is one of the most volcanic countries in the world. The most dangerous of all listed is the Kilauea in Hawaii. The new volcano threat assessment was updated in 2005 determine the greatest risks of eruption and human impacts. Volcanoes usually give warning when it is about to erupted but if missed, serious consequence can happen. It is important to pay close attention to the warning a volcano give off. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2018/10/news-most-dangerous-volcanoes-usgs-list-geology/



——-



Powerful Rulers Of Egypt

Queens in Ancient Egypt hold greater power than most of the other queens. Women in Egypt have all the human rights that we fought for. Women are able to work, owned business, own property, and divorced their husband. Not only that women reuled repeatedly with no interrupted power. With all those rights Egyptian women have the most rights and powers from the very beginning. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2018/10/queen-princess-royalty-vintage-photos/





All the Way to London

London became the center of attention with many good tourists and beautiful landscapes, London is booming. The Royal Botanic Garden at Kew which lie at Thames, seven miles from central London have the most beautiful greenhouse. Also is home to 1,500 different species of plants. The Shard reign over London is the tallest building and more than 70 new building are coming. With all these site London is one of the most visited cities. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/urban-expeditions/london-population-city-planning/





The Breakthrough of Bicycle

Cycling was known as a sport or a way of transportation. Baron Karl Drais von Sauerbronn made the first practical bicycle with no pedals. In 1839, Scotsman Kirkpatrick MacMillan made an improvement which was later nicknamed as "boneshaker". However, since the wheels were too big, it made it unstable for the riders and led them to crashing. The most popular bicycle design was made by James Starley and it was known as a safety bicycle. Through time, the bicycle has evolved as a means of fun and transportation.





Surprising Attack

A tsunami hit Indonesia without any sign of warning. Many scientists are blaming it geology for this disaster. When the tsunami first hit it was a 6.1 magnitude which barely damage any housing but for unknown reason the tsunami began to grow stronger to a 7.5 magnitude which later on causing huge damage and killing many people. Now everyone is working together to save the remaning people affected by the tsunami. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/09/indonesia-tsunami-sulawesi-explained-science-geology/





Darwin Thoughts

Darwin was the person who believed that species evolve as time and was the first to draw the tree of life. But he later found the third kingdom of life called archaea. However, when he first found out he believed that they are another type of bacteria. Which later on he found out that he was wrong and ended up making a new discovery which was published in the New York Times in 1997. Now there are another kingdom that are found and now scientists are trying to find the relationship between every living things. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2018/09/darwin-evolution-crispr-microbiome-bacteria-news/





NASA Watching Over

NASA is now able to see the melting glaciers over the world. Thanks to the new satellite, called ICESat-2 which give researchers more precise look of the melting glaciers. This melting ice will cause sea level to rise and the satellite provide a good evidence for that. NASA concluded that the measure of the ice sheet in Antartica and Greenland is about a sixth of an inch. Now NASA coming up with more satellite to determine the amount of vegetation in a region. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/14/climate/nasa-ice-satellite-launch.html?rref=collection%2Fsectioncollection%2Fscience&action=click&contentCollection=science&region=rank&module=package&version=highlights&contentPlacement=8&pgtype=sectionfront





Donating Blood

Donating blood are becoming common, there are four different types of blood: A,B,AB, and O. It is important that the right type of blood to the patients. If not the person will face severe disease or death. But O blood type can be tranfer to any blood type, making it the universal donor blood. Now scientists believed that they can turn the 3 different types of blood types to O by switching the enzymes. Then we don't have to worry about blood transfusion. https://www.popsci.com/type-o-blood-gut-enzyme





Is Arctic Still Cold?

Arctic known as one of the coldest place on earth, might not be as cold as before. Nikita Zimov was teaching his students about ecological fieldwork, when he notice something. THe frozen land might be thawing faster than before. It not possible for a place with 40 degrees below zero Fahrenheit to have soil that are thawing faster. This can lead to major concern about how much carbon are we putting into the air. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/08/news-arctic-permafrost-may-thaw-faster-than-expected/

Is Arctic Still Cold?

      • Don't forget to use your definite and indefinite articles. Though most continents do not use "the", the Northern area of our world is known as "the Arctic"; Is the Arctic Still Cold?

Arctic known as one of the coldest place on earth, might not be as cold as before.

      • Same here: The Arctic, Also the first part of the sentence does not have a verb. You need to add "is". When you use "one of the", you must have the noun as plural, so " One of the places. Lastly, you need to combine both sentences with a conjunction, use "but", and the second part of the sentence does not have a subject, use "it" ; The Arctic is known as one of the coldest places on earth, but it might not be as cold as before.

Nikita Zimov was teaching his students about ecological fieldwork, when he notice something.

      • The verb noticed must be in the past tense because you used "was teaching"

Nikita Zimov was teaching his students about ecological fieldwork, when he noticed something. THe frozen land might be thawing faster than before.

      • Watch out for capitalizing words that don't need it, if you do this in school they take points off for mechanics based on sloppiness. Also try not to end to many sentences with prepositions. You've done this twice with the word " before". It is incorrect to use a preposition at the end of a sentence.; The frozen land might be thawing faster than it has in the past.

It not possible for a place with 40 degrees below zero Fahrenheit to have soil that are thawing faster.

      • Do not start a sentence with "it" because using it makes the subject unclear. Soil is an uncountable noun so you should not use the plural be verb "are", use is. When you use an adjective in the comparative form (more or er), then you need another noun to compare it to. So, just write "as fast as it is."; For a place with 40 degrees below zero Fahrenheit weather to have soil that thaws as fast as it is, something else must be happening.

Though the cause is not clear, concerns about how much carbon we are putting into the air has come up as a possible cause.





Can Human Kill Robot?

It hard to turn down the offer when a robot is begging not to. Scientists chose students from 89 colleges to team up and work on a robot called Noa. The challenge started with the scientists asked the students to turn of the robot. This create stress due to the robot begging not to since their relationship began to built up. Scientists believed that the students treat the robot as a human after having it as a partner. https://www.popsci.com/humans-killing-robots





Why Elephant Have Low Risk of Cancer

One of the biggest mammal should be more prone to cancer risk than smaller animals. But, elephant have fewer risk of having cancer than humans. This is because of their trunk, which have extra tumor-suppressing gene called P53, while human only have one, elephant have 20. The gene can detect DNA damage and is able to kill it. Since elephant have more P53 than human, it is more likely that elephant have a lower chance of having skin problems than humans. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2018/08/news-cancer-elephants-genes-dna-new-research/





Seafood

If human population continue to boom, the food production need to be double from now. So now researchers are now focusing on fish, as fish have high enough of proteins. Now researchers are considering high sea fishing which is very expensive. They also came up with another solution, having farm-raised fish. Perdicting that by 2030, 62% of the world's seafood will be farm-raised. So far there is no real solution for food production besides depending on seafood. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/08/news-fisheries-aquaculture-food-security/





Health Issues

Ever since Trump became president, having a insurence become challenging. Medicare played an important role for everyone, especially for elders. Having insurence can lower medicial bills and make medication more affordable. But recently Trump cut out all the benefits and the $500 billion fund. Now affording medication is harder due to no insurence to help and now 70% of older Americans suffer from periodontal disease and 20% live with decay tooth. So medicare is needed, especailly for the elders. https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2018/jun/26/the-future-of-medicare-dental-vision-and-hearing-c/





Soil Causing More Carbon Dioxide

After trees die, microbes in the soil consume the carrbon and exhale out the carbon dioxide back into the air. Temperature rising can cause this process to speed up much faster. The microbes are able to break down more carbon due to high heat which later extracted to the atmosphere. To prevent this from happening, we can perserve or regrow forest. But this won't be enough compare to other damages that happened. https://www.popsci.com/rising-temperatures-are-causing-soil-to-dump-more-carbon-dioxide-into-air#page-5






Poisioning Wildlife

Two herdsmen in Kenya's Osewan region had enough of the trouble the lions has cause to his livestocks. So they went and decided to make poison darts in which they killed one female and a male. But this didn't stop the predators, so then they began to poison their livestocks in order to kill the lions. The people only use poison to catch preys for food and to protect themselves. Now wildlife animals are decreasing as time pass due to humans. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/08/poisoning-africa-kenya-maasai-pesticides-lions-poachers-conservationists/





How Much Are You Consuming?

Athletes and trainers have a belief on consuming alot of proteins when they exercise. That is usually not the case, body need protein to break up into amino acids, which are used to make other proteins like collagen. But too much protein can be bad for the kidneys. So eating too much protein don't really improve your strength but strain your kidneys. In general, the amount of proteins you need to consume have to do with how much you exercise. So it is important to watch your intake on proteins and also to eat other nutrients. https://www.popsci.com/how-much-protein#page-4





No More Plastic 

By the January 2019, Dominica plans on fully banning all platic and styrofoam use food containers. The government restrict on the imports of non-biodegradable containers. Dominica have much larger goals, they also hoped to have a stable climate. Since in summer there are many migrating sperm whales inhabitants. So reducing plastic waste can also protect the marine mammals.

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2018/08/news-dominica-plastic-styrofoam-ban/





DNA Connection

Dogs are known as men best friend for it well-behaved behaviors. But dogs are descended from wolves so, how are dogs tameable. So researchers believed that breeding the friendliest fox can domesticate them. Belyaev proved himself right by breeding fearless foxes which resulted a socialable and adventerous babies. Now researchers still kept on breeding 40 generations of friendly and aggressive foxes to find the connection of the genetic that made it wild to tame. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/fox-dogs-wild-tame-genetics-study-news/





Grizzly Bear Survival Rate

Grizzly bear had been in the endangered species list. Since then researchers have been collecting data from bears for the future species. After the recovery of the popluation, the government began to open up hunting ground for the bears. But if the hunter kill a female bear and the popluation decreases, then the hunting ground will be closed. So far there are about 700 bears in the Greater Yellowstone Area and 1,000 wander in the remote mountains and valleys. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/can-grizzly-bears-survive-hunting-animals/





Jupiter's New Moon: Weirdo

Jupiter has 53 moons in total founded by Galileo Galilei backed in 1610. But 16 of those weren't named and the two that were discovered last year make it 69 moons in total. The most recent discoveres is finding 10 more moons to make it 79 moons in total. Out of the 79 moons each of the moons were put into a group. Out of the 12 moons one of the moon wasn't orbiting like the rest of the moons. Many scientists believed that once the moon was collided with something, since it function a bit differently. Being different from the rest of the moons, scientists named it Weirdo.





Parasite Alert!

Toxoplasama gondii is a cat poop parasite that have both infected not just humans but other rodents as well. T. gondii would likely infected warm blooded animals that come to close contact. Causing it to have less fears, for example, infecting a mouse would cause it to have less fear of cats. Getting infected will change one judgement, personality, and mental health. Researchers also found that many people who are infected will choose career that is challenging and risky.





U.S. Is Vulnerable to Big Disasters

Locations is one main reasons why disasters occures. Seven of the 10 largest areas in U.S. are near to the coast and more than 60 million people live there. Another factors is over-population since it hard to fit many people in one small spaceand city need advanced infrastructure for houses. Next, factors is no emergancy funds in case if money is needed.Last factors is limited amount of supplies, since most of our supplies are mostly imported, it is important to have enough supplies when needed. In order to protected for big disasters we need everything listed be prepared.





Fire vs. Animals

Fire can destoryed just about anything especailly in a forest. Animals have the abilities to escape the heat, for example, birds will fly, mammals will run, amphibians will burrow underground, and elks and other animals will stay in stream and lakes. Having a forest fire can benefit predators who pray on fleeing animals. Not much animals are harmed by the fire while there are some death but not a severed amount ever recorded. After the fire life in the forest will revive and new live began.





Thet's Article Page Shakes Extinction

      • A proper title is missing from this article, which is important to reinforce the main idea of your article. Consider trying a more relevant title: " Hazards of Shark Overfishing".


Shakes all around the world are trageted for one thing and it is its liver, known as squalene.

      • Various misspellings- "shakes" and "trageted should be "sharks" and "targeted". Furthermore, the phrase "one thing and it is" is excessive. Try using a more straightforward and concise wording: " Sharks throughout the world are targeted specifically for their livers." Also, the term "squalene' refers to the organic compound itself obtained from shark liver oil, not the liver itself. And thus the sentence should read: "Sharks throughout the world are targeted specifically for their liver oils, which possess both commercial and health value. This helps in transitioning to the next sentence as well."


Squalene contains specail oil that is essential for moisturizing and have many nutrients that is good for your skin.

      • As noted earlier, squalene refers to the organic compound found in shark liver oil. Therefore, it does not contain the oil, and is within the oil. The sentence should read: " The squalene found in shark liver oil.." The phrase "have many nutrients..." is using the wrong tense. The word "have" should be replaced with has". Altogether, it should sound like this: " The squalene found in shark liver oil is an exceptional moisturizer, and has many nutrients that is beneficial for your skin.


People used the squalene and used it to produce make-up, lipsticks, loions, and sunscreens.

      • When discussing events that are still ongoing, use present tense instead of past tense. Replace "used" with use". In addition, the word "people" is vague and does not specify any specific group, thus making it applicable to all people. Use "companies" or "entrepreneurs" to fix this issue. Subsequently, to clarify the sentence even further, categorize the products listed that squalene is used in. In whole, the sentence should read: "In fact, companies utilize squalene in various health and beauty products, such as make-up, lipsticks, lotions, and sunscreens." The transition "in fact" helps to link your sentences together and streamline the ideas.


But not only were the sharks targeted for oils but for seafood known as shark fin soup mostly served in China.

      • This sentence is run-on, and sounds clunky and disorganized. Use a better transition word to illustrate a shift in topic and use commas when necessary to fix this issue, or consider dividing the sentence into two parts: "However, sharks are not only overfished for their oils. Sharks are commonly used in seafood dishes such as the infamous shark fin soup, served primarily in China."


As more and more sharks are fished the harder for the sharks to reproduce and harder for them to grow.

      • Commas are missing from this sentence, making it run-on. Additionally, the phrase "sharks to reproduce and harder for them to grow" can be compacted to make it sound less wordy: " As sharks are continually overfished, it becomes more difficult for sharks to reproduce and grow."


This can lead to extinction to some species of sharks.

      • Leading this sentence with the word "this" sounds bland and lacking. Try using words/phrases such as "As a result," or " Due to this,", which indicates a conclusion or consequence: "As a result, some species of sharks are approaching extinction."


Full Edited Article: Sharks throughout the world are targeted specifically for their liver oils, which possess both commercial and health value. The squalene found in shark liver oil is an exceptional moisturizer, and has many nutrients that is beneficial for your skin. In fact, companies utilize squalene in various health and beauty products, such as make-up, lipsticks, lotions, and sunscreens. However, sharks are not only overfished for their oils. They are commonly used in seafood dishes such as the infamous shark fin soup, served primarily in China. As sharks are continually overfished, it becomes more difficult for sharks to reproduce and grow. As a result, some species of sharks are approaching extinction.




Jupiter's New Moon: Weirdo

Jupiter has 53 moons in total founded by Galileo Galilei backed in 1610. But 16 of those weren't named and the two that were discovered last year make it 69 moons in total. The most recent discoveres is finding 10 more moons to make it 79 moons in total. Out of the 79 moons each of the moons were put into a group. Out of the 12 moons one of the moon wasn't orbiting like the rest of the moons. Many scientists believed that once the moon was collided with something, since it function a bit differently. Being different from the rest of the moons, scientists named it Weirdo.





Parasite Alert!

Toxoplasama gondii is a cat poop parasite that have both infected not just humans but other rodents as well. T. gondii would likely infected warm blooded animals that come to close contact. Causing it to have less fears, for example, infecting a mouse would cause it to have less fear of cats. Getting infected will change one judgement, personality, and mental health. Researchers also found that many people who are infected will choose career that is challenging and risky.





U.S. Is Vulnerable to Big Disasters

Locations is one main reasons why disasters occures. Seven of the 10 largest areas in U.S. are near to the coast and more than 60 million people live there. Another factors is over-population since it hard to fit many people in one small spaceand city need advanced infrastructure for houses. Next, factors is no emergancy funds in case if money is needed.Last factors is limited amount of supplies, since most of our supplies are mostly imported, it is important to have enough supplies when needed. In order to protected for big disasters we need everything listed be prepared.





Fire vs. Animals

Fire can destoryed just about anything especailly in a forest. Animals have the abilities to escape the heat, for example, birds will fly, mammals will run, amphibians will burrow underground, and elks and other animals will stay in stream and lakes. Having a forest fire can benefit predators who pray on fleeing animals. Not much animals are harmed by the fire while there are some death but not a severed amount ever recorded. After the fire life in the forest will revive and new live began.