Tech - Revision history

75.80.178.179 at 03:45, 3 July 2020

2020-07-03T03:45:11Z

98.14.146.189 at 14:22, 2 July 2020

2020-07-02T14:22:32Z

75.80.178.179 at 03:07, 1 July 2020

2020-07-01T03:07:32Z

98.14.146.189 at 00:26, 1 July 2020

2020-07-01T00:26:13Z

75.80.178.179 at 23:39, 28 June 2020

2020-06-28T23:39:33Z

98.14.146.189 at 18:01, 27 June 2020

2020-06-27T18:01:29Z

75.80.178.179 at 00:51, 23 June 2020

2020-06-23T00:51:41Z

98.14.146.189 at 00:39, 20 June 2020

2020-06-20T00:39:57Z

75.80.178.179 at 22:10, 14 June 2020

2020-06-14T22:10:44Z

98.14.146.189 at 03:28, 13 June 2020

2020-06-13T03:28:59Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:45, 3 July 2020
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	<br> Source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/06/200619115704.htm		<br> Source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/06/200619115704.htm

		+	Another Disadvantage for the Impoverished <br>
		+	'''***Edited for word choice.'''

		+	According to a long term study, scientists have found that the neighborhood a child grows up in can potentially affect their health as an adult. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for a transitional phrase and fluency.'''

		+	Several children born in England and Wales were observed until they were 18 for a long term study. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for syntax.'''

		+	These children were mostly from low-income families and neighborhoods, which were often tainted with more pollution and tobacco smoke. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for fluency and word choice.'''
		+
		+	These factors could lead to the children developing epigenetic differences in their genes, deteriorating their health to a larger extent than the normal process of aging. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for clarity.'''
		+
		+	Scientists do not know if these health disparities are temporary or long-term, and they hope to figure it out in future studies. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for word choice.'''
		+
		+	They hope to understand how social factors could impact one’s health and wellbeing. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for fluency.'''
		+
		+	Another Disadvantage for the Impoverished <br>
		+	According to a long term study, scientists have found that the neighborhood a child grows up in can potentially affect their health as an adult. Several children born in England and Wales were observed until they were 18 for a long term study. These children were mostly from low-income families and neighborhoods, which were often tainted with more pollution and tobacco smoke. These factors could lead to the children developing epigenetic differences in their genes, deteriorating their health to a larger extent than the normal process of aging. Scientists do not know if these health disparities are temporary or long-term, and they hope to figure it out in future studies. They hope to understand how social factors could impact one’s health and wellbeing. <br>
		+	'''***Overall good job! Work on improving word choice to include more academic language.'''
		+
		+	Edited by Nicole Glidden
		+

	----		----

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:22, 2 July 2020
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		+	<br> Another Disadvantage for the Poor
		+	<br> Scientists have found that the neighborhood a child grows up in could affect their health as an adult.
		+	<br> Several children born in England and Wales were observed for a long term study until they were 18.
		+	<br> These children were mostly from low-income families and poorer neighborhoods, which were often tainted with more pollution, tobacco smoke, etc.
		+	<br> These factors could lead to the children developing epigenetic differences in their genes, deteriorating their health even more.
		+	<br> Scientists do not know whether these health disparities are temporary or long-term, and they hope to figure it out in future studies.
		+	<br> They hope to understand how social factors could have an effect on one’s health and wellbeing.
		+	<br> Source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/06/200619115704.htm
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+	----
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
	<br> Smelling the Past		<br> Smelling the Past
	<br> Many often give credit to their sense of smell for helping them remember things from the past, but how is it possible that smell can trigger memories?		<br> Many often give credit to their sense of smell for helping them remember things from the past, but how is it possible that smell can trigger memories?

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:07, 1 July 2020
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	<br> Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-smells-trigger-memories1/		<br> Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-smells-trigger-memories1/

		+	Smelling the Past <br>
		+	'''***Concise and gets the main idea of the article across.'''

		+	Many often cite their sense of smell for helping them remember things from the past, but how is it possible that smell triggers memories? <br>
		+	'''***Edited for fluency.'''
		+
		+	Scientists have been conducting research to analyze the pairing between smell and recollection. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for fluency, word choice and clarity.'''
		+
		+	Rachel Herz, a scientist at Brown University, conducted an experiment concerning memory and smell. Herz found that participants linked the familiar perfume to a good memory, and did not link the perfume samples they hadn't smelled before. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for fluency, clarity, and to avoid a run-on sentence.'''
		+
		+	Like Herz, many other scientists have conducted their own experiments and found similar results, with familiar scents influencing the person's emotions and triggering a memory. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for fluency and brevity.'''
		+
		+	Although the results are fairly outstanding, the reason why people can do this is still a mystery; however, the way humans' noses work could be a big factor in answering this question. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for punctuation and word choice.'''
		+
		+	The close distance between the brain and the nose as well as the olfactory bulb that runs from both sides could explain the relationship between scent and memory. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for syntax (sentence order) and clarity.'''
		+
		+	Smelling the Past <br>
		+
		+	Many often cite their sense of smell for helping them remember things from the past, but how is it possible that smell triggers memories? Scientists have been conducting research to analyze the pairing between smell and recollection. Rachel Herz, a scientist at Brown University, conducted an experiment concerning memory and smell. Herz found that participants linked the familiar perfume to a good memory, and did not link the perfume samples they hadn't smelled before. Like Herz, many other scientists have conducted their own experiments and found similar results, with familiar scents influencing the person's emotions and triggering a memory. Although the results are fairly outstanding, the reason why people can do this is still a mystery; however, the way humans' noses work could be a big factor in answering this question. The close distance between the brain and the nose as well as the olfactory bulb that runs from both sides could explain the relationship between scent and memory. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-smells-trigger-memories1/ <br>
		+	'''***Try to split up your ideas to avoid run-on sentences. It's ok to use less words and more simple language if it conveys the same message and makes more sense to the reader.'''
		+
		+	Edited by Nicole Glidden

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:26, 1 July 2020
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		+	<br> Smelling the Past
		+	<br> Many often give credit to their sense of smell for helping them remember things from the past, but how is it possible that smell can trigger memories?
		+	<br> Scientists have been researching for the answer to that question.
		+	<br> One of them is Rachel Herz at Brown University, who conducted an experiment and found that the women who participated in it linked the certain familiar perfume smell to a good memory rather than from the perfume samples they hadn't smelled before.
		+	<br> Like Herz, many other scientists have conducted their own experiments and found similar results, with a certain familiar scent influencing the person's emotions and triggering a memory rather than a smell they hadn't smelled before.
		+	<br> Although the results are fairly outstanding, the reason why people can do this is still a mystery, but the way our noses work could be a big factor in answering this question.
		+	<br> Everyone's nose is connected to the base of their brain and this could be the reason why smells can trigger some emotional memories in peoples' brains because of the close distance between the brain and the nose as well as the olfactory bulb that runs from both sides.
		+	<br> Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-smells-trigger-memories1/
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+	----
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
	<br> How to Protect Yourself When Protesting in 2020		<br> How to Protect Yourself When Protesting in 2020
	<br> With the rise of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement, more and more police are being deployed to control those crowds.		<br> With the rise of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement, more and more police are being deployed to control those crowds.

← Older revision	Revision as of 23:39, 28 June 2020
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	+	How to Protect Yourself When Protesting in 2020 <br>
	+	'''***Similar to the original headline but includes relevant details, just be careful not to copy word for word.'''

	+	With the rise of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement, more and more police are being deployed to control crowds. <br>
	+	'''***Edited for fluency.'''
	+
	+	However, not all of the methods used by the police to disperse crowds are safe for the protesters themselves, as it can hurt them. <br>
	+	'''***Edited for clarity.'''
	+
	+	There a few methods for protecting oneself when protesting. <br>
	+	'''***Edited for tone to avoid using second person "you."'''
	+
	+	Police will throw chemical irritants, flash grenades and shoot rubber bullets, so it is best to wear some sort of protective eyewear such as goggles (swimming, skiing, or construction) to avoid unwanted things from getting in one's eyes. <br>
	+	'''***Edited for punctuation to remove oxford comma and tone.'''
	+
	+	It is also advised to wear some earplugs in case the police throw a stun grenade. They can create a loud noise and can cause temporary deafness. <br>
	+	'''***Edited for tone and word choice.'''
	+
	+	Masks are highly encouraged, as the world is still in the midst of the coronavirus. Additionally, it can provide a way to remain anonymous, as police wouldn't be able to easily identify who those with masks are. <br>
	+	'''***Edited for fluency and tone.'''
	+
	+	Last but not least, individuals should wear long-sleeved shirts and/or pants so their skin won't be heavily affected by the tear gas or pepper spray. <br>
	+	'''***Edited for tone and fluency.'''
	+
	+	How to Protect Yourself When Protesting in 2020 <br>
	+
	+	With the rise of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement, more and more police are being deployed to control crowds. However, not all of the methods used by the police to disperse crowds are safe for the protesters themselves, as it can hurt them. There a few methods for protecting oneself when protesting. Police will throw chemical irritants, flash grenades and shoot rubber bullets, so it is best to wear some sort of protective eyewear such as goggles (swimming, skiing, or construction) to avoid unwanted things from getting in one's eyes. It is also advised to wear some earplugs in case the police throw a stun grenade. They can create a loud noise and can cause temporary deafness. Masks are highly encouraged, as the world is still in the midst of the coronavirus. Additionally, it can provide a way to remain anonymous, as police wouldn't be able to easily identify who those with masks are. Last but not least, individuals should wear long-sleeved shirts and/or pants so their skin won't be heavily affected by the tear gas or pepper spray. <br>
	+	'''***Try to avoid using "you" as it makes the article sound less formal and this is a more serious topic. Good job overall!'''
	+
	+	Edited by Nicole Glidden

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:01, 27 June 2020
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		+	<br> How to Protect Yourself When Protesting in 2020
		+	<br> With the rise of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement, more and more police are being deployed to control those crowds.
		+	<br> However, not all of the methods used by the police are safe for the protesters themselves, as it can hurt them. This is how to protect yourself when you protest out on the streets.
		+	<br> Police will throw chemical irritants, flash grenades, and shoot rubber bullets, so it is best to wear some sort of protective eyewear such as goggles (swimming, skiing, or construction ones) to avoid unwanted things from getting in your eyes.
		+	<br> You should also wear some earplugs in case the police throw a stun grenade. They can create a loud noise and can cause temporary deafness.
		+	<br> For the face, masks are highly encouraged, as we are still in the midst of the coronavirus. Additionally, it can provide a way to remain anonymous, as police wouldn't be able to identify who you are.
		+	<br> Last but not least, you should wear long-sleeved shirts and/or pants so that your skin wouldn't be heavily affected by the tear gas or pepper spray.
		+	<br> Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-protect-yourself-during-protests/
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+	----
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
	<br> Safe Walks with Shawn		<br> Safe Walks with Shawn
	<br> Shawn Dromgoole is a 29-year old African American man who had lived in Nashville all his life.		<br> Shawn Dromgoole is a 29-year old African American man who had lived in Nashville all his life.

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:51, 23 June 2020
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	<br> Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/black-man-scared-to-walk-in-neighborhood-joined-by-75-neighbors/		<br> Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/black-man-scared-to-walk-in-neighborhood-joined-by-75-neighbors/

		+	Shawn Dromgoole is a 29-year-old African American man who has lived in Nashville all his life. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for punctuation and tense consistency.'''

		+	When gentrification and cost of living increased in his neighborhood many black families began to move out, resulting in more white families moving in. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for punctuation.'''

		+	Given recent events concerning racism and police brutality, Dromgoole felt out of place and uncomfortable walking around his predominantly white neighborhood. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for fluency and punctuation.'''

		+	After posting about his thoughts and feelings online, he gained the support of many people in his neighborhood. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for clarity.'''

−	----	+	They offered to walk with him wherever he went to provide him with a shield of support and safety. <br>
		+	'''***Good!'''
		+
		+	Inspired, Dromgoole posted his experience, which surged many other walks similar to his own. The support of his neighbors helped him to get through his fear of walking alone. <br>
		+	'''***Nice job!'''
		+
		+	Safe Walks with Shawn <br>
		+
		+	Shawn Dromgoole is a 29-year-old African American man who has lived in Nashville all his life. When gentrification and cost of living increased in his neighborhood many black families began to move out, resulting in more white families moving in. Given recent events concerning racism and police brutality, Dromgoole felt out of place and uncomfortable walking around his predominantly white neighborhood. After posting about his thoughts and feelings online, he gained the support of many people in his neighborhood. They offered to walk with him wherever he went to provide him with a shield of support and safety. Inspired, Dromgoole posted his experience, which surged many other walks similar to his own. The support of his neighbors helped him to get through his fear of walking alone.
		+	Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/black-man-scared-to-walk-in-neighborhood-joined-by-75-neighbors/ <br>
		+	'''***Good job overall! I look forward to reading more.'''

		+	Edited by Nicole Glidden


		+	----

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:39, 20 June 2020
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		+	<br> Safe Walks with Shawn
		+	<br> Shawn Dromgoole is a 29-year old African American man who had lived in Nashville all his life.
		+	<br> When gentrification and cost of living increased in his neighborhood, many black families began to move out, resulting in more white families moving in.
		+	<br> Feeling out of place in his own neighborhood and with recent events occurring around him such as the racism and police brutality, Dromgoole felt uncomfortable walking freely around his predominantly-white neighborhood.
		+	<br> After posting about his thoughts and feelings online, he gained the support of many in his neighborhood.
		+	<br> They offered to walk with him wherever he went to provide him with a shield of support and safety.
		+	<br> Inspired, Dromgoole posted his experience, which surged many other walks similar to his own. The support of his neighbors helped him to get through his fear of walking alone.
		+	<br> Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/black-man-scared-to-walk-in-neighborhood-joined-by-75-neighbors/
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+	----
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
	<br> Michael Jordan in Support of the Black Community		<br> Michael Jordan in Support of the Black Community
	<br> Basketball star Micheal Jordan announced that his Jordan Brand will donate 100 million dollars towards the goal for racial equality, better education, and social justice.		<br> Basketball star Micheal Jordan announced that his Jordan Brand will donate 100 million dollars towards the goal for racial equality, better education, and social justice.

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:10, 14 June 2020
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	<br> Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/michael-jordan-brand-pledges-100million-to-black-communities/		<br> Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/michael-jordan-brand-pledges-100million-to-black-communities/

		+	Michael Jordan in Support of the Black Community <br>
		+	'''***Good!'''

		+	Basketball star Micheal Jordan announced that his Jordan Brand will donate $100 million to organizations aiming for racial equality, better education, and social justice. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for grammar and punctuation.'''

		+	With the growing support of the Black Lives Matter movement, many are coming together to solve the problems that Black people face on a daily basis. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for fluency and punctuation. Part of the BLM movement involves the reclaiming words used to describe Black people, and capitalizing the word signifies the separation between personhood and color, placing the human before the color of their skin. The color "black" is lowercase.'''

		+	Jordan, whose goal is to peacefully unite everyone, stated that he will donate the money to youth programs, mentorships, and opportunities for the Black youth.<br>
		+	'''***Strong sentence! Edited for punctuation.'''

−	----	+	This generosity is not a new gesture for Jordan. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for word choice and grammar.'''
		+
		+	Jordan funds programs and organizations, such as his "Jordan Wings Program," where he provides a selected group of students from America and China, mostly those who are underprivileged and have lots of potential, with a full scholarship to any four-year college. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for tense and punctuation.'''
		+
		+	In light of the most recent controversy on police brutality, he believes that everyone in support of the BLM movement should remain peaceful and work together to create actual systematic change. <br>
		+	'''***Edited for word choice and tense consistency. Words such as "however" are used to indicate a relationship between two contrasting thoughts. If Jordan historically advocates for peaceful behavior and has shown no support for violence in the past, his advocacy for peace now is not in opposition to past behavior.
		+
		+	Michael Jordan in Support of the Black Community <br>
		+
		+	Basketball star Micheal Jordan announced that his Jordan Brand will donate $100 million to organizations aiming for racial equality, better education, and social justice. With the growing support of the Black Lives Matter movement, many are coming together to solve the problems that Black people face on a daily basis.
		+	Jordan, whose goal is to peacefully unite everyone, stated that he will donate the money to youth programs, mentorships, and opportunities for the Black youth.
		+	This generosity is not a new gesture for Jordan. Jordan funds programs and organizations, such as his "Jordan Wings Program," where he provides a selected group of students from America and China, mostly those who are underprivileged and have lots of potential, with a full scholarship to any four-year college. In light of the most recent controversy on police brutality, he believes that everyone in support of the BLM movement should remain peaceful and work together to create actual systematic change. Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/michael-jordan-brand-pledges-100million-to-black-communities/ <br>
		+	'''***Good job picking a timely topic and summarizing the information clearly.'''

		+	Edited by Nicole Glidden


		+	----

← Older revision		Revision as of 03:28, 13 June 2020
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		+	<br> Michael Jordan in Support of the Black Community
		+	<br> Basketball star Micheal Jordan announced that his Jordan Brand will donate 100 million dollars towards the goal for racial equality, better education, and social justice.
		+	<br> With the growing support of the Black Lives Matter movement, many are coming together to eventually solve the problems that black people face on the daily.
		+	<br> Jordan, whose goal is to peacefully unite everyone, stated that he will donate the money to youth programs, mentorships, and opportunities for the black youth.
		+	<br> This generosity is not a new thing for Jordan either.
		+	<br> He had been funding programs and organizations such as his "Jordan Wings Program" where he provided a selected group of students from America and China, mostly those who were underprivileged and had lots of potential, with a full scholarship to any four-year college.
		+	<br> However, in the most recent controversy on police brutality, he believed that everyone in support of the BLM movement should remain peaceful and work together to create actual systematic change.
		+	<br> Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/michael-jordan-brand-pledges-100million-to-black-communities/
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+	----
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
	<br> Free Grad Cake		<br> Free Grad Cake
	<br> With the coronavirus pandemic, many are quarantined in their homes, including high school seniors.		<br> With the coronavirus pandemic, many are quarantined in their homes, including high school seniors.