Ryli - Revision history

50.29.201.215 at 00:34, 16 April 2020

2020-04-16T00:34:34Z

50.29.201.215 at 00:03, 16 April 2020

2020-04-16T00:03:15Z

100.12.189.64 at 21:15, 15 April 2020

2020-04-15T21:15:38Z

50.29.201.215 at 20:41, 14 April 2020

2020-04-14T20:41:07Z

50.29.201.215 at 17:19, 14 April 2020

2020-04-14T17:19:20Z

100.12.189.64 at 20:42, 8 April 2020

2020-04-08T20:42:04Z

100.12.189.64 at 21:29, 7 April 2020

2020-04-07T21:29:49Z

50.29.201.215 at 02:37, 7 April 2020

2020-04-07T02:37:59Z

100.12.189.64 at 20:01, 6 April 2020

2020-04-06T20:01:03Z

100.12.189.64 at 19:15, 6 April 2020

2020-04-06T19:15:57Z

@@ Line 80: / Line 80: @@
 For clarity, grammar: '''Why do thousands apply to become NASA astronauts?'''
-For grammar, fluidity, spelling: '''To be chosen, you need to have a Masters degree and be experienced flying jets and aircrafts.'''
+For grammar, fluidity, spelling: '''To be chosen, you need to have a master's degree and be experienced flying jets and aircrafts.'''
 For fluidity: '''In the text, it says that if people can't handle flying aircrafts, then they will feel sick. This is also known as air sickness.'''
-For fluidity, clarity: '''The reason why you need a Masters degree is that you have be educated and skilled.'''
+For fluidity, clarity: '''The reason why you need a master's degree is that you have be educated and skilled.'''
 Fully Edited Summary:
-'''Why do thousands apply to become NASA astronauts? To be chosen, you need to have a Masters degree and be experienced flying jets and aircrafts. In the text, it says that if people can't handle flying aircrafts, then they will feel sick. This is also known as air sickness. The reason why you need a Masters degree is that you have be educated and skilled.'''
+'''Why do thousands apply to become NASA astronauts? To be chosen, you need to have a master's degree and be experienced flying jets and aircrafts. In the text, it says that if people can't handle flying aircrafts, then they will feel sick. This is also known as air sickness. The reason why you need a master's degree is that you have be educated and skilled.'''
 Good job! Keep working on establishing a clear argument in your summaries!

← Older revision		Revision as of 00:03, 16 April 2020
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	why thousands apply to become a nasa astronauts. To be chosen you need to get a masters degree and have expeireenced flying jets and air crafts. In the text it says that if they cant experience flying aircrafts then they will feel sick also known as air sickness. The reason why you need a masters degree is that you have to do things and and you need to be smart and skilled.		why thousands apply to become a nasa astronauts. To be chosen you need to get a masters degree and have expeireenced flying jets and air crafts. In the text it says that if they cant experience flying aircrafts then they will feel sick also known as air sickness. The reason why you need a masters degree is that you have to do things and and you need to be smart and skilled.
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		+	For clarity, grammar: '''Why do thousands apply to become NASA astronauts?'''
		+
		+	For grammar, fluidity, spelling: '''To be chosen, you need to have a Masters degree and be experienced flying jets and aircrafts.'''
		+
		+	For fluidity: '''In the text, it says that if people can't handle flying aircrafts, then they will feel sick. This is also known as air sickness.'''
		+
		+	For fluidity, clarity: '''The reason why you need a Masters degree is that you have be educated and skilled.'''
		+
		+	Fully Edited Summary:
		+	'''Why do thousands apply to become NASA astronauts? To be chosen, you need to have a Masters degree and be experienced flying jets and aircrafts. In the text, it says that if people can't handle flying aircrafts, then they will feel sick. This is also known as air sickness. The reason why you need a Masters degree is that you have be educated and skilled.'''
		+
		+	Good job! Keep working on establishing a clear argument in your summaries!

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:15, 15 April 2020
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	Read your sentences aloud before submission, and see if you can correct anything yourself!		Read your sentences aloud before submission, and see if you can correct anything yourself!
	*Edited by Hailey		*Edited by Hailey
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		+	why thousands apply to become a nasa astronauts. To be chosen you need to get a masters degree and have expeireenced flying jets and air crafts. In the text it says that if they cant experience flying aircrafts then they will feel sick also known as air sickness. The reason why you need a masters degree is that you have to do things and and you need to be smart and skilled.

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:41, 14 April 2020
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	Super moons are closer and brighter to the earth. super moons are bigger moons but the reason why people say it is a bigger moon because it is closer to the earth. In the article it says that if the moon is closer then they call it a super moon because it says if it is closer and brighter than it is a super moon. people beleave that tidil waves and earth quakes are caused by super moons.		Super moons are closer and brighter to the earth. super moons are bigger moons but the reason why people say it is a bigger moon because it is closer to the earth. In the article it says that if the moon is closer then they call it a super moon because it says if it is closer and brighter than it is a super moon. people beleave that tidil waves and earth quakes are caused by super moons.
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		+	For grammar: '''Super moons are closer and brighter to the Earth than a normal moon.'''
		+	When you compare something (-er ending), make sure you clarify which nouns you are comparing!
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		+	For fluidity, clarity: '''Super moons look bigger, but the reason people say so is because it is actually just closer to the Earth.'''
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		+	For fluidity: '''In the article, it says that if the moon is closer, then it is called a super moon for its enhanced qualities.'''
		+	Don't repeat what you have already said! Try and find new, interesting information in the article.
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		+	For spelling, fluidity: '''People believe that tidal waves and earthquakes are caused by these super moons.'''
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		+	Fully Edited Summary:
		+	'''Super moons are closer and brighter to the Earth than a normal moon. Super moons look bigger, but the reason people say so is because it is actually just closer to the Earth. In the article, it says that if the moon is closer, then it is called a super moon for its enhanced qualities. People believe that tidal waves and earthquakes are caused by these super moons.'''
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		+	Once again, try and include more information so your summary is not repetitious!
		+	*Edited by Hailey


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	Eastern tiger salamanders are returning to Maryland. The reason why the tiger salamanders returned is that they can breed. In the text it says that they are making a significant come back. One reason is they came back to lay eggs because they want to breed there.		Eastern tiger salamanders are returning to Maryland. The reason why the tiger salamanders returned is that they can breed. In the text it says that they are making a significant come back. One reason is they came back to lay eggs because they want to breed there.
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		+	For grammar: '''Eastern Tiger Salamanders are returning to Maryland.'''
		+	Capitalize all the words of a proper noun!
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		+	For fluidity: '''The reason why the tiger salamanders returned is so they can breed.'''
		+	Nice sentence!
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		+	For grammar: '''In the text, it says that they are making a significant comeback.'''
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		+	For fluidity: '''One reason for this comeback is because the salamanders want to lay eggs and breed in Maryland.'''
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		+	Fully Edited Summary:
		+	'''Eastern Tiger Salamanders are returning to Maryland. The reason why the tiger salamanders returned is so they can breed. In the text, it says that they are making a significant comeback. One reason for this comeback is because the salamanders want to lay eggs and breed in Maryland.'''
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		+	Read your sentences aloud before submission, and see if you can correct anything yourself!
		+	*Edited by Hailey

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:19, 14 April 2020
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	I am glad to see your first piece of writing! Please capitalize your sentences. I also think that there is a lot of information that could have been used in this summary, so try your best not to repeat the same ideas!		I am glad to see your first piece of writing! Please capitalize your sentences. I also think that there is a lot of information that could have been used in this summary, so try your best not to repeat the same ideas!
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		+	*Edited by Hailey

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:42, 8 April 2020
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	Super moons are closer and brighter to the earth. super moons are bigger moons but the reason why people say it is a bigger moon because it is closer to the earth. In the article it says that if the moon is closer then they call it a super moon because it says if it is closer and brighter than it is a super moon. people beleave that tidil waves and earth quakes are caused by super moons.		Super moons are closer and brighter to the earth. super moons are bigger moons but the reason why people say it is a bigger moon because it is closer to the earth. In the article it says that if the moon is closer then they call it a super moon because it says if it is closer and brighter than it is a super moon. people beleave that tidil waves and earth quakes are caused by super moons.
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		+	Eastern tiger salamanders are returning to Maryland. The reason why the tiger salamanders returned is that they can breed. In the text it says that they are making a significant come back. One reason is they came back to lay eggs because they want to breed there.

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:29, 7 April 2020
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	I am glad to see your first piece of writing! Please capitalize your sentences. I also think that there is a lot of information that could have been used in this summary, so try your best not to repeat the same ideas!		I am glad to see your first piece of writing! Please capitalize your sentences. I also think that there is a lot of information that could have been used in this summary, so try your best not to repeat the same ideas!
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		+	Super moons are closer and brighter to the earth. super moons are bigger moons but the reason why people say it is a bigger moon because it is closer to the earth. In the article it says that if the moon is closer then they call it a super moon because it says if it is closer and brighter than it is a super moon. people beleave that tidil waves and earth quakes are caused by super moons.

← Older revision		Revision as of 02:37, 7 April 2020
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	One bad effect about social distancing is that it takes a lot of work to do it but the good thing is that you can avoid sick people by not get closer than 2 feet. one reason it is bad is because you cant you cant tell if your staying 6feet direct or more or less then six feet. the good news is you can stay away from others that seem to be 6 feet direct. in the text it says the u.s centers for disease control and prevention say that social distancing is a great idea.		One bad effect about social distancing is that it takes a lot of work to do it but the good thing is that you can avoid sick people by not get closer than 2 feet. one reason it is bad is because you cant you cant tell if your staying 6feet direct or more or less then six feet. the good news is you can stay away from others that seem to be 6 feet direct. in the text it says the u.s centers for disease control and prevention say that social distancing is a great idea.
	the reason why the u.s centers for disease control and prevention said that social distancing is good because you would not get disease.		the reason why the u.s centers for disease control and prevention said that social distancing is good because you would not get disease.
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		+	For fluidity: '''One consequence of social distancing is that it takes a lot of work to do it, but the good thing is that you can avoid sick people by not getting closer than 2 feet away.'''
		+
		+	For structure, fluidity, clarity: '''One reason social distancing is difficult is because it is hard to tell if you're staying exactly, more, or less than 6 feet.'''
		+	"Your" is possessive. "You're" is the contraction of "you are". This is very important to remember!
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		+	For structure, fluidity: '''The good news is that you can stay away from others that seem to be 6 feet away exactly.'''
		+	"Direct" is not a synonym for "exactly".
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		+	For fluidity: '''The text mentions that the U.S. Center of Disease Control and Prevention believes that social distancing is a great way to stay safe.'''
		+	Is this a quote? If so, remember the quotation marks! Also, a singular noun would have "says" following, as opposed to "say".
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		+	For fluidity: '''The reason why the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention said that social distancing is good is because you will be less likely to get the virus.'''
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		+	Fully Edited Summary:
		+	'''One consequence of social distancing is that it takes a lot of work to do it, but the good thing is that you can avoid sick people by not getting closer than 2 feet away. One reason social distancing is difficult is because it is hard to tell if you're staying exactly, more, or less than 6 feet. The good news is that you can stay away from others that seem to be 6 feet away exactly. The text mentions that the U.S. Center of Disease Control and Prevention believes that social distancing is a great way to stay safe. The reason why the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention said that social distancing is good is because you will be less likely to get the virus.'''
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		+	I am glad to see your first piece of writing! Please capitalize your sentences. I also think that there is a lot of information that could have been used in this summary, so try your best not to repeat the same ideas!

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:01, 6 April 2020
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−	One bad effect about social distancing is that it takes a lot of work to do it but the good thing is that you can avoid sick people by not get closer than 2 feet. one reason it is bad is because you cant you cant tell if your staying 6feet direct or more or less then six feet. the good news is	+	One bad effect about social distancing is that it takes a lot of work to do it but the good thing is that you can avoid sick people by not get closer than 2 feet. one reason it is bad is because you cant you cant tell if your staying 6feet direct or more or less then six feet. the good news is you can stay away from others that seem to be 6 feet direct. in the text it says the u.s centers for disease control and prevention say that social distancing is a great idea.
		+	the reason why the u.s centers for disease control and prevention said that social distancing is good because you would not get disease.

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:15, 6 April 2020
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	Ryli's Writing Page		Ryli's Writing Page
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		+	One bad effect about social distancing is that it takes a lot of work to do it but the good thing is that you can avoid sick people by not get closer than 2 feet. one reason it is bad is because you cant you cant tell if your staying 6feet direct or more or less then six feet. the good news is