Riac - Revision history

75.164.74.23 at 14:42, 24 June 2020

2020-06-24T14:42:53Z

66.65.10.178 at 21:07, 23 June 2020

2020-06-23T21:07:10Z

97.120.77.224 at 18:29, 23 June 2020

2020-06-23T18:29:02Z

66.65.10.178 at 20:36, 22 June 2020

2020-06-22T20:36:16Z

97.120.77.224 at 15:25, 16 June 2020

2020-06-16T15:25:30Z

97.120.77.224 at 15:17, 16 June 2020

2020-06-16T15:17:47Z

66.65.10.178 at 14:18, 16 June 2020

2020-06-16T14:18:44Z

66.65.10.178 at 14:49, 15 June 2020

2020-06-15T14:49:36Z

75.164.81.68 at 05:14, 11 June 2020

2020-06-11T05:14:11Z

75.164.81.68 at 05:05, 11 June 2020

2020-06-11T05:05:45Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:42, 24 June 2020
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	The boy was Japanese and he was a young man. One reason why i think this is because that the text says "It was the custom in old times that as soon as a Japanese"a young man." Another reason why i think this is because that the text also says "." These are my reasons. This is my reasons to why i think that the boy was Japanese and he was a young man.		The boy was Japanese and he was a young man. One reason why i think this is because that the text says "It was the custom in old times that as soon as a Japanese"a young man." Another reason why i think this is because that the text also says "." These are my reasons. This is my reasons to why i think that the boy was Japanese and he was a young man.
		+
		+
		+	----
		+	Original Version:
		+
		+	The boy was Japanese and he was a young man. One reason why i think this is because that the text says "It was the custom in old times that as soon as a Japanese"a young man." Another reason why i think this is because that the text also says "." These are my reasons. This is my reasons to why i think that the boy was Japanese and he was a young man.
		+
		+	Corrections:
		+
		+	The young man was Japanese.
		+
		+	***I rephrased the sentence to make it flow better. You say young boy, but then say young man, so to make it consistent I used young man instead.
		+
		+
		+	This is because the text states, “It was the custom in old times that as soon as a Japanese young man…”
		+
		+	***I deleted the personal pronouns to make it sound more objective. I also edited the introductory clause to better integrate the quote into the sentence. Make sure when reading it, it flows naturally. Lastly, this quotation is cut off, so I added an ellipsis at the end to signify the sentence from the text is not complete.
		+
		+
		+	Another reason, according to the text, is [another quote here].
		+
		+	***You did not place a quote in this next sentence. You need another piece of evidence from the text according to the format rules for the paragraph. I didn’t add another quote here, but left a space so you could add one.
		+
		+
		+	In conclusion, these are the reasons why he was a young Japanese man.
		+
		+	***I edited the sentence to corrected grammar mistakes.
		+
		+
		+	Final version:
		+
		+	The young man was Japanese. This is because the text states, “It was the custom in old times that as soon as a Japanese young man…” Another reason, according to the text, is [another quote here]. In conclusion, these are the reasons why he was a young Japanese man.
		+
		+	Edited by Hayley Taylor
		+	----

	5/16/20		5/16/20

← Older revision		Revision as of 21:07, 23 June 2020
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		+	6/23/20
		+
		+	The boy was Japanese and he was a young man. One reason why i think this is because that the text says "It was the custom in old times that as soon as a Japanese"a young man." Another reason why i think this is because that the text also says "." These are my reasons. This is my reasons to why i think that the boy was Japanese and he was a young man.
		+
	5/16/20		5/16/20

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:29, 23 June 2020
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	Johnny cake was a fast runner and he beat all the people who were running, i think he felt good to be running really fast. One reason why i think he felt good is because that, he ran fast so he can escape the house and that he left all the other people tired when he out-ran them. Another reason why i think he felt good about running fast is because that he left them all behind and he was as not out of breath, tired and he was not sowing down he just ran. These are the reasons why i think he felt good about out-running them all.		Johnny cake was a fast runner and he beat all the people who were running, i think he felt good to be running really fast. One reason why i think he felt good is because that, he ran fast so he can escape the house and that he left all the other people tired when he out-ran them. Another reason why i think he felt good about running fast is because that he left them all behind and he was as not out of breath, tired and he was not sowing down he just ran. These are the reasons why i think he felt good about out-running them all.

		+	----
		+	'''Original Version:'''
		+
		+	Johnny cake was a fast runner and he beat all the people who were running, i think he felt good to be running really fast. One reason why i think he felt good is because that, he ran fast so he can escape the house and that he left all the other people tired when he out-ran them. Another reason why i think he felt good about running fast is because that he left them all behind and he was as not out of breath, tired and he was not sowing down he just ran. These are the reasons why i think he felt good about out-running them all.
		+
		+	'''Corrections:'''
		+
		+	Johnny was a fast runner because he beat all the others who were running.
		+
		+	***I edited this for grammar.
		+
		+
		+	He felt good about running so fast because it helps him escape the house.
		+
		+	***I edited the next two sentences into one sentence so it would be less wordy. I also deleted personal pronouns to help the paragraph sound more objectives. If you do use personal pronouns, however, make sure to capitalize them.
		+
		+
		+	Another reason why he liked running was that he out-ran the others without becoming out of breath.
		+
		+	***I also edited this sentence to be shorter, as well as fixed some of the grammar errors.
		+
		+
		+	In conclusion, these are the reasons why Johnny felt good about out-running them all.
		+
		+	***I added the phrase “in conclusion” so the transition would be smoother. I also added the character’s name so who you were talking about was clear to the reader.
		+
		+
		+	'''Final Version:'''
		+
		+	Johnny was a fast runner because he beat all the others who were running. He felt good about running so fast because it helps him escape the house. Another reason why he liked running was that he out-ran the others without becoming out of breath. In conclusion, these are the reasons why Johnny felt good about out-running them all.
		+
		+	Great work! I suggest however to add more quotations from the text, so your answers have evidence backing them up.
		+
		+	Edited by Hayley Taylor
		+	----

	5/16/20		5/16/20

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:36, 22 June 2020
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		+	5/16/20
		+
		+	Johnny cake was a fast runner and he beat all the people who were running, i think he felt good to be running really fast. One reason why i think he felt good is because that, he ran fast so he can escape the house and that he left all the other people tired when he out-ran them. Another reason why i think he felt good about running fast is because that he left them all behind and he was as not out of breath, tired and he was not sowing down he just ran. These are the reasons why i think he felt good about out-running them all.
		+
		+
	5/16/20		5/16/20

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:25, 16 June 2020
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	Henny penny thought the sky was falling because there was something on her head that fell. One reason is that the text said " when—whack!—something hit her upon the head." Another reason is that the text also said that "Goodness gracious me!” said Henny-penny; “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king." In conclusion that means that henny penny thought the sky was falling because " when—whack!—something hit her upon the head" and "Goodness gracious me!” said Henny-penny; “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king"		Henny penny thought the sky was falling because there was something on her head that fell. One reason is that the text said " when—whack!—something hit her upon the head." Another reason is that the text also said that "Goodness gracious me!” said Henny-penny; “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king." In conclusion that means that henny penny thought the sky was falling because " when—whack!—something hit her upon the head" and "Goodness gracious me!” said Henny-penny; “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king"
		+
		+	----
		+	'''Original Version:'''
		+
		+	Henny penny thought the sky was falling because there was something on her head that fell. One reason is that the text said " when—whack!—something hit her upon the head." Another reason is that the text also said that "Goodness gracious me!” said Henny-penny; “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king." In conclusion that means that henny penny thought the sky was falling because " when—whack!—something hit her upon the head" and "Goodness gracious me!” said Henny-penny; “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king"
		+
		+	'''Corrections:'''
		+
		+	Henny penny thought the sky was falling because something fell on her head.
		+
		+	***I edited the end of the sentence to make it sound less wordy.
		+
		+
		+	According to the text, "Something hit her upon the head."
		+
		+	***I edited the introductory clause, so it would better flow into the quote you use. I also edited the quote down so it would be better integrated into the paragraph, instead of seeming like a sentence fragment.
		+
		+
		+	The text also states, “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king.”
		+
		+	***The quotation you used was a bit too long, as some of the lines didn’t build on your answer. I edited it down so the quote would be more applicable to your argument.
		+
		+
		+	In conclusion, Henny penny thought the sky was falling because something hit her head.
		+
		+	***You don’t need to restate all the quotations, it sounds a little redundant and is unnecessary. I deleted it and edited the sentence so it would be more concise. I also capitalized the first letter of her name.
		+
		+
		+	'''Final Version:'''
		+
		+	Henny penny thought the sky was falling because something fell on her head. According to the text, "Something hit her upon the head." The text also states, “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king.” In conclusion, Henny penny thought the sky was falling because something hit her head.
		+
		+	Great work! Make sure to use only parts of the quoted text that are applicable to explain your answer.
		+
		+	Edited by Hayley Taylor
		+
		+	----

	6/15/20		6/15/20

@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 There are two frogs in the story. One reason why that there are two frogs is because that "Once upon a time in the country of Japan there lived two frogs." Another reason is that the story says " two frogs." These are the reasons that there are two frogs in the story.
+----
 /20

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:18, 16 June 2020
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		+	5/16/20
		+
		+	Henny penny thought the sky was falling because there was something on her head that fell. One reason is that the text said " when—whack!—something hit her upon the head." Another reason is that the text also said that "Goodness gracious me!” said Henny-penny; “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king." In conclusion that means that henny penny thought the sky was falling because " when—whack!—something hit her upon the head" and "Goodness gracious me!” said Henny-penny; “the sky's a-going to fall; I must go and tell the king"
		+
	6/15/20		6/15/20

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:49, 15 June 2020
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		+	6/15/20
		+
		+	There are two frogs in the story. One reason why that there are two frogs is because that "Once upon a time in the country of Japan there lived two frogs." Another reason is that the story says " two frogs." These are the reasons that there are two frogs in the story.
		+
		+
	610/20		610/20

← Older revision		Revision as of 05:14, 11 June 2020
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	the story takes place in autumn and its a good weather. one reason is because that the text says that "It is autumn." Another reason why is because the text says that " the yellow leaves flutter down from the branches." These are the reasons why that it is autumn and its a good weather.		the story takes place in autumn and its a good weather. one reason is because that the text says that "It is autumn." Another reason why is because the text says that " the yellow leaves flutter down from the branches." These are the reasons why that it is autumn and its a good weather.
		+
		+	----
		+	'''Original Version:'''
		+
		+	the story takes place in autumn and its a good weather. one reason is because that the text says that "It is autumn." Another reason why is because the text says that " the yellow leaves flutter down from the branches." These are the reasons why that it is autumn and its a good weather.
		+
		+	'''Corrections:'''
		+
		+	The story takes place during autumn, and the weather is good.
		+
		+	***I changed the preposition “in” to “during” for clarity. I also edited the sentence to correct the grammar.
		+
		+
		+	The text states one reason, "It is autumn."
		+
		+	***The first letter of the sentence needs to be capitalized. I also edited the introductory clause so it would better integrate the quotation. Make sure when you read it, the two clauses flow together well.
		+
		+
		+	Another reason why is because the text says that “the yellow leaves flutter down from the branches."
		+
		+	***Good! I only fixed the spacing error, the quotation mark should go directly in front of the first word in the quotation.
		+
		+
		+	In conclusion, these are the reasons why autumn has good weather in the story.
		+
		+	***I added an introductory phrase to better transition into the conclusion. I also reworded the sentence, as the phrasing sounded a bit awkward.
		+
		+
		+	Good work! I suggest working on your wording and phrasing. By reading your sentences out loud, it could help you spot grammar issues.
		+
		+	'''Final Version:'''
		+
		+	The story takes place during autumn, and the weather is good. The text states one reason, "It is autumn." Another reason why is because the text says that “the yellow leaves flutter down from the branches." In conclusion, these are the reasons why autumn has good weather in the story.
		+
		+	Edited by Hayley Taylor
		+
		+
		+	----

	6/9/20		6/9/20

@@ Line 4: / Line 4: @@
 /9/20
 They had fun in dinner. they had fun in dinner for many reasons. one reason is that in the text it says that "We had such an excellent dinner yesterday." Another reason that they had fun in dinner because that the text says that "We had such an excellent dinner yesterday." These are the reasons why that they had fun in the dinner and my text evidence why that they had fun.
 /4/2