Rado - Revision history

75.157.111.98 at 21:32, 15 January 2020

2020-01-15T21:32:16Z

75.157.111.98 at 21:29, 15 January 2020

2020-01-15T21:29:32Z

75.157.111.98 at 21:27, 15 January 2020

2020-01-15T21:27:35Z

75.157.111.98 at 20:32, 15 January 2020

2020-01-15T20:32:16Z

68.174.204.188: /* Vanishing Stars */

2019-12-21T20:42:38Z

‎Vanishing Stars

68.174.204.188 at 20:28, 21 December 2019

2019-12-21T20:28:49Z

173.183.24.233 at 08:35, 2 December 2019

2019-12-02T08:35:54Z

24.103.88.142 at 17:57, 30 August 2019

2019-08-30T17:57:18Z

24.103.88.142 at 20:27, 28 August 2019

2019-08-28T20:27:09Z

24.103.88.142 at 19:27, 27 August 2019

2019-08-27T19:27:02Z

@@ Line 38: / Line 38: @@
 <br>Source: [https://www.popsci.com/story/space/100-stars-have-disappeared/]***
-      Delete the brackets around your source. They are causing the link to not work.
+      I've deleted the brackets around your source so that the website name is fully listed and visible, however, I'm not sure if it's necessary.
 ''Source: https://www.popsci.com/story/space/100-stars-have-disappeared/''

@@ Line 12: / Line 12: @@
       Too much information and too many sentences. Let's take the most important information from each of the three sentences above and make it into one sentence. Most important information: "lead to believe that our night sky is unchanging", "However, recent images", and "(stars) have vanished":
 ''Throughout history, we have been lead to believe that our night sky is unchanging, however, recent images show that many stars have vanished over the years.''
 A group of astronomers are investigating this further in a project named the Vanishing and Appearing Sources during a Century of Observations (VASCO) Project.***
       Good.
@@ Line 17: / Line 18: @@
      Good. Just change "with recent one" to either "a recent one" or "recent ones".
 ''They compare 70-year-old surveys of the night sky with recent ones and have so far discovered at least 100 vanished sources of light!''
 <br>These astronomers continue to research for this project and hope that the information found would even be relevant to the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI).***
       This sentence is a little wordy and since we already have some large sentences let's trim this one for easier reading and better flow. I suggest changing the order of where "these astronomers" and "research" appears in the sentence. I also changed the tense at the end to present since the astronomers currently haven't found EI yet. Notice how it's easier to read and gets to the point faster.
 ''As the research continues, these astronomers believe that this could be relevant to the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI).''
 <br>Afterall, there aren't many explanations for the subtle vanishing of stars and nothing, even the possibility of aliens, can be ruled out.***
       Omit this. This information isn't crucial for a summary since it was mentioned above already.
@@ Line 26: / Line 29: @@
       Combine the above two sentences. Use "Afterall," here instead because it still ties in the sentences nicely.
 ''Afterall, when stars die, they're hard to miss, so, why have hundreds of stars disappeared without notice?''
 <br>The other possibility are black holes, but disappearances due to black holes are not common at all.***
       Omit. Too many details. You must pick and choose which facts are most important.
@@ Line 32: / Line 36: @@
       Combine the above two sentences into one.
 ''Although it may be too early to assume alien life, further research is needed to get to the bottom of this case.''
 <br>Source: [https://www.popsci.com/story/space/100-stars-have-disappeared/]***
       Delete the brackets around your source. They are causing the link to not work.

@@ Line 4: / Line 4: @@
 For now, further research is still going on to get to the bottom of this case: The case of the vanishing stars.
 Source: [https://www.popsci.com/story/space/100-stars-have-disappeared/]
 == Microplastics in the Air ==

@@ Line 304: / Line 304: @@
 == China's Huawei and Cananda ==***
-      Watch spelling. I added "Still Disputing" to better represent the topic in the article. Without it, it is a broad headline.
+     Watch spelling. I added "Still Disputing" to better represent the topic in the article. Without it, it is a broad headline.
-China's Huawei and Canada Still Disputing
+''China's Huawei and Canada Still Disputing''
 Canada has decided to wait until after this fall’s federal election to see whether Chinese tech, Huawei, can provide equipment for the country’s next-generation 5G wireless network.***
   Ralph Goodale says Canada requires more information from the United States about the potential security threat by the state-owned company.***
 The election is Oct. 21.***
-      To keep to the correct amount of sentences, let's combine this fact into another sentence.
+      Let's omit this small sentence to get down to our 6 sentence structure. If you did want to keep it you can easily combine it with the first sentence.
- Canada and its Five Eyes intelligence allies had a meeting discussing whether to let Huawei supply the equipment for the 5G system.***
+<br>Canada and its Five Eyes intelligence allies had a meeting discussing whether to let Huawei supply the equipment for the 5G system.***
- This is a conflicting issue as The United States and Australia have already banned Huawei.***
+<br>This is a conflicting issue as The United States and Australia have already banned Huawei.***
- Their reasons being that they are concerned it is an organ of Chinese military intelligence.***
+<br>Their reasons being that they are concerned it is an organ of Chinese military intelligence.***
 The issue is even more pressing as Canada and China are in a political dispute.***
- China imprisoned two Canadians and this is being seen as retaliation for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police’s decision to arrest Huawei senior executive Meng Wanzhou on a U.S. extradition warrant.***
+China imprisoned two Canadians and this is being seen as retaliation for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police’s decision to arrest Huawei senior executive Meng Wanzhou on a U.S. extradition warrant.***
 == Pakistani military plane crashed ==

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 == Vanishing Stars ==
-      Throughout history, we have been lead to believe that our night sky is unchanging as the same existing stars are still used for navigation. However, recent images of the night sky brings a question to that claim: Is the night sky really permanent? The images show that many spots of lights (stars) have vanished over the years. A group of astronomers are investigating this further in a project named
+      Throughout history, we have been lead to believe that our night sky is unchanging as the same existing stars are still used for navigation. However, recent images of the night sky brings a question to that claim: Is the night sky really permanent? The images show that many spots of lights (stars) have vanished over the years. A group of astronomers are investigating this further in a project named the Vanishing and Appearing Sources during a Century of Observations (VASCO) Project. They compare 70-year-old surveys of the night sky with recent one and have so far discovered at least 100 vanished sources of light! These astronomers continue to research for this project and hope that the information found would even be relevant to the search for extraterrestrial intelligence (SETI). Afterall, there aren't many explanations for the subtle vanishing of stars and nothing, even the possibility of aliens, can be ruled out. When stars die, they explode in supernovas that are hard to miss. So why have hundred of stars disappeared without obvious notice? The other possibility are black holes, but disappearances due to black holes are not common at all. Although it may be too early to assume alien life, we cannot rule it out as an explanation.
+For now, further research is still going on to get to the bottom of this case: The case of the vanishing stars.
 == Microplastics in the Air ==

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:28, 21 December 2019
Line 1:		Line 1:
		+
		+	== Vanishing Stars ==
		+	Throughout history, we have been lead to believe that our night sky is unchanging as the same existing stars are still used for navigation. However, recent images of the night sky brings a question to that claim: Is the night sky really permanent? The images show that many spots of lights (stars) have vanished over the years. A group of astronomers are investigating this further in a project named
		+

	== Microplastics in the Air ==		== Microplastics in the Air ==

@@ Line 297: / Line 297: @@
       Canada has decided to wait until after this fall’s federal election to see whether Chinese tech, Huawei, can provide equipment for the country’s next-generation 5G wireless network. Ralph Goodale says Canada requires more information from the United States about the potential security threat by the state-owned company. The election is Oct. 21. Canada and its Five Eyes intelligence allies had a meeting discussing whether to let Huawei supply the equipment for the 5G system. This is a conflicting issue as The United States and Australia have already banned Huawei. Their reasons being that they are concerned it is an organ of Chinese military intelligence. The issue is even more pressing as Canada and China are in a political dispute. China imprisoned two Canadians and this is being seen as retaliation for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police’s decision to arrest Huawei senior executive Meng Wanzhou on a U.S. extradition warrant.
 Source: [https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/technology/canada-huawei-5g-wireless-decision-to-wait-until-after-vote/2019/07/30/756c68a6-b325-11e9-acc8-1d847bacca73_story.html?utm_term=.2f74db6f6012]
 == Pakistani military plane crashed ==

@@ Line 245: / Line 245: @@
 Source: [https://www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/night-glowing-clouds-crept-south-summer]
 '''***Scientists have seen incredible numbers of noctilucent clouds in the Northern Hemisphere, and, surprisingly, have observed these clouds further south than usual. ***'''
@@ Line 257: / Line 259: @@
 - Another plagiarized phrase : water vapor condenses onto and then freezes around dust particles. MUST be rewritten. I also believe that thise sentence should follow your intro; you end the last sentence with the mesosphere and begin the sentence that follows this one talking about mesospheres. To separate them with a sentence loses the pace and flow.
-'''***This summer, the meseophere was the wettest it has ever been; scientists believe this is because of rising number of methane in the air.***'''
+'''***This summer, the mesosphere was the wettest it has ever been; scientists believe this is because of rising number of methane in the air.***'''
 - Bring together similar thoughts using conjunctions or punctuation to avoid run-on sentences-- keep the flow of the sentence moving!

@@ Line 244: / Line 244: @@
       What is surprising is that the Mesosphere, this summer, was the wettest it has ever been. One possible explanation scientists have for this is that this summer, more moist air rose than usual. It is also believed that there might have been a rise in methane in the atmosphere that enters chemical reactions, forming water vapor. The scientists are planning to use computers to monitor the clouds and hopefully, through their studies, find a solid explanation for the trends and reasons to why the clouds are forming outside of polar skies.
 Source: [https://www.sciencenewsforstudents.org/article/night-glowing-clouds-crept-south-summer]
 == Missing Child's Dead Body Found ==

@@ Line 6: / Line 6: @@
 '''***"Airborne Microplastics" ***'''
 - Switch the order of the adj, and noun-- this is clearer.
@@ Line 14: / Line 15: @@
 - Mark a transition with the adverb "luckily", also tie your second sentence with the third to bring together similar thoughts and consolidate information. This helps keep away redundancies and unnecessary wording.
-'''***
+'''***Dr. Melanie Bergmann and Dr. Gunnar Gerdts tested snow samples from various locations to prove that microplastics are airborne. ***'''
--Great concluding sentence. I like that you end with a question. The whole sentence ties together the paragraph while simultaneously providing new and compelling information. Well done!
+'''***This experiment raises an important question: how much plastic are we inhaling?***'''
 *"Airborne Microplastics"
-It's no secret that our oceans are full of plastic litter. Luckily, scientists discovered that plastic can actually be broken down into microplastics, are transported into the atmosphere to be discarded with precipitation.
+It's no secret that our oceans are full of plastic litter. Luckily, scientists discovered that plastic can actually be broken down into microplastics, are transported into the atmosphere to be discarded with precipitation. Dr. Melanie Bergmann and Dr. Gunnar Gerdts tested snow samples from various locations to prove that microplastics are airborne. This experiment raises an important question: how much plastic are we inhaling? As these plastics continue to travel through the air and into the food we consume, how will it affect our future?