Peta - Revision history

47.197.59.214 at 16:08, 30 June 2020

2020-06-30T16:08:37Z

66.65.9.10 at 12:06, 29 June 2020

2020-06-29T12:06:55Z

66.65.9.10 at 11:55, 29 June 2020

2020-06-29T11:55:50Z

66.65.9.10 at 23:04, 25 June 2020

2020-06-25T23:04:08Z

47.197.59.214 at 16:47, 25 June 2020

2020-06-25T16:47:49Z

66.65.9.10 at 17:25, 24 June 2020

2020-06-24T17:25:24Z

47.197.59.214 at 15:01, 23 June 2020

2020-06-23T15:01:49Z

66.65.9.10 at 23:42, 22 June 2020

2020-06-22T23:42:23Z

47.197.59.214 at 17:49, 19 June 2020

2020-06-19T17:49:40Z

47.197.59.214 at 14:56, 19 June 2020

2020-06-19T14:56:29Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:08, 30 June 2020
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−	The fairy godmother helped Cinderella by helping her go to the ball and become a princess or a royal. For example,”This godmother of hers who was a fairy said to her,”Thou wishes thou couldst go to the ball;”it not so?” In addition,”Thou art in the right,” replied her godmother, “go and look.” This shows how the fairy godmother blessed Cinderella to lighten up her life with great fortune.	+	'''Original:''' The fairy godmother helped Cinderella by helping her go to the ball and become a princess or a royal. For example,”This godmother of hers who was a fairy said to her,”Thou wishes thou couldst go to the ball;”it not so?” In addition,”Thou art in the right,” replied her godmother, “go and look.” This shows how the fairy godmother blessed Cinderella to lighten up her life with great fortune.
		+
		+	'''Edits:'''
		+
		+	<br> The fairy godmother helped Cinderella by helping her go to the ball and become a princess or a royal.
		+
		+	*** Edited for fluidity: The Fairy Godmother helped Cinderella go to the ball to become a princess or a royal.
		+
		+	<br> Good first sentence! Changed the wording around to make the sentence flow better.
		+
		+	<br> For example,”This godmother of hers who was a fairy said to her,”Thou wishes thou couldst go to the ball;”it not so?” In addition,”Thou art in the right,” replied her godmother, “go and look.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: For instance, the text states ”This godmother of hers who was a fairy said to her, "Thou wishes thou couldst go to the ball; "it not so?” In addition, "Thou art in the right,” replied her godmother, “go and look.”
		+
		+	<br> Good citation! Make sure to put the correct spacing between the comma and quotation marks.
		+
		+	<br> This shows how the fairy godmother blessed Cinderella to lighten up her life with great fortune.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: In conclusion, this shows how the fairy godmother blessed Cinderella to lighten up her life with great fortune.
		+
		+	<br> Great last sentence! Make sure to put in a concluding statement.
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+
		+	The Fairy Godmother helped Cinderella go to the ball to become a princess or a royal. For instance, the text states ”This godmother of hers who was a fairy said to her, "Thou wishes thou couldst go to the ball; "it not so?” In addition, "Thou art in the right,” replied her godmother, “go and look.” In conclusion, this shows how the fairy godmother blessed Cinderella to lighten up her life with great fortune.
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware
		+

← Older revision		Revision as of 12:06, 29 June 2020
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	Peta's Writing Page		Peta's Writing Page

−	~~It was quite~~ confusing ~~difficult~~ or ~~simple or easy~~ so it was ~~probably~~ both. ~~We do not have~~ to panic or freak out ~~because~~ you will learn ~~so no need to freak out~~. I would plan ~~about~~ some ~~outside~~ activities.	+	I had some difficulties and some easy ways in online learning because the instructions can be confusing or the websites questions are too complex but sometimes it can be the things that I know so it was sort of somewhat both negative and positive. Also the advice I would give them is that there is no need to panic or freak out because school is school so you will still learn before any tests. Finally I would plan some activities when quarantine is over.

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:55, 29 June 2020
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	Peta's Writing Page		Peta's Writing Page
		+
		+	It was quite confusing difficult or simple or easy so it was probably both. We do not have to panic or freak out because you will learn so no need to freak out. I would plan about some outside activities.
		+
		+
		+

	The fairy godmother helped Cinderella by helping her go to the ball and become a princess or a royal. For example,”This godmother of hers who was a fairy said to her,”Thou wishes thou couldst go to the ball;”it not so?” In addition,”Thou art in the right,” replied her godmother, “go and look.” This shows how the fairy godmother blessed Cinderella to lighten up her life with great fortune.		The fairy godmother helped Cinderella by helping her go to the ball and become a princess or a royal. For example,”This godmother of hers who was a fairy said to her,”Thou wishes thou couldst go to the ball;”it not so?” In addition,”Thou art in the right,” replied her godmother, “go and look.” This shows how the fairy godmother blessed Cinderella to lighten up her life with great fortune.

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:04, 25 June 2020
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	Peta's Writing Page		Peta's Writing Page
		+
		+	The fairy godmother helped Cinderella by helping her go to the ball and become a princess or a royal. For example,”This godmother of hers who was a fairy said to her,”Thou wishes thou couldst go to the ball;”it not so?” In addition,”Thou art in the right,” replied her godmother, “go and look.” This shows how the fairy godmother blessed Cinderella to lighten up her life with great fortune.
		+
		+
		+

	'''Original:''' The donkey might look fierce and scary but it was still tame and well-behaved. For example,”Long might the donkey, Clad in a lions skin, have fed on the barley green. But he brayed! And that moment he came to ruin.” In addition,”And even while he was yet speaking to donkey became tame and good.” This shows how the donkeys look was deceiving.		'''Original:''' The donkey might look fierce and scary but it was still tame and well-behaved. For example,”Long might the donkey, Clad in a lions skin, have fed on the barley green. But he brayed! And that moment he came to ruin.” In addition,”And even while he was yet speaking to donkey became tame and good.” This shows how the donkeys look was deceiving.

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:47, 25 June 2020
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	Peta's Writing Page		Peta's Writing Page

−	The donkey might look fierce and scary but it was still tame and well-behaved. For example,”Long might the donkey, Clad in a lions skin, have fed on the barley green. But he brayed! And that moment he came to ruin.” In addition,”And even while he was yet speaking to donkey became tame and good.” This shows how the donkeys look was deceiving.	+	'''Original:''' The donkey might look fierce and scary but it was still tame and well-behaved. For example,”Long might the donkey, Clad in a lions skin, have fed on the barley green. But he brayed! And that moment he came to ruin.” In addition,”And even while he was yet speaking to donkey became tame and good.” This shows how the donkeys look was deceiving.
		+
		+	'''Edits:'''
		+
		+	<br> The donkey might look fierce and scary but it was still tame and well-behaved.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: The donkey might look fierce and scary but it was actually tame and very well-behaved.
		+
		+	<br> Good first sentence! Changed some wording around to make the sentence flow better
		+
		+	<br> For example,”Long might the donkey, Clad in a lions skin, have fed on the barley green. But he brayed! And that moment he came to ruin.” In addition,”And even while he was yet speaking to donkey became tame and good.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for punctuation and fluidity: For example, "Long might the donkey, Clad in a lion's skin, Have fed on the barley green. But he brayed! And that moment he came to ruin." Another example in the story is, "Even while he was yet speaking to donkey became tame and good.”
		+
		+	<br> Good citation!!
		+
		+	<br> This shows how the donkeys look was deceiving.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: In conclusion, this shows how the donkeys looks were deceiving.
		+
		+	<br> End the last sentence with a concluding statement
		+
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+
		+	The donkey might look fierce and scary but it was actually tame and very well-behaved. For example, "Long might the donkey, Clad in a lion's skin, Have fed on the barley green. But he brayed! And that moment he came to ruin." Another example in the story is, "Even while he was yet speaking to donkey became tame and good.” In conclusion, this shows how the donkeys looks were deceiving.
		+
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:25, 24 June 2020
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	Peta's Writing Page		Peta's Writing Page
		+
		+	The donkey might look fierce and scary but it was still tame and well-behaved. For example,”Long might the donkey, Clad in a lions skin, have fed on the barley green. But he brayed! And that moment he came to ruin.” In addition,”And even while he was yet speaking to donkey became tame and good.” This shows how the donkeys look was deceiving.
		+
		+
		+

	'''Original:''' Schippeitaro managed to outsmart the Cat King in order to catch him. According to the text,”But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This shows how Schippeitaro managed to capture the Cat King.		'''Original:''' Schippeitaro managed to outsmart the Cat King in order to catch him. According to the text,”But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This shows how Schippeitaro managed to capture the Cat King.

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:01, 23 June 2020
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	Peta's Writing Page		Peta's Writing Page

−	Schippeitaro managed to outsmart the Cat King in order to catch him. According to the text,”But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This shows how Schippeitaro managed to capture the Cat King.	+	'''Original:''' Schippeitaro managed to outsmart the Cat King in order to catch him. According to the text,”But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This shows how Schippeitaro managed to capture the Cat King.
		+
		+	'''Edits:'''
		+
		+	<br> Schippeitaro managed to outsmart the Cat King in order to catch him.
		+
		+	*** Great first sentence!
		+
		+	<br> According to the text,”But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for punctuation: According to the text, "But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth fastened in him, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.”
		+
		+	<br> Make sure to put a space between the comma and punctuation marks. Good citation!
		+
		+	<br> This shows how Schippeitaro managed to capture the Cat King.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: In conclusion, this shows how Schippeitaro managed to capture the Cat King.
		+
		+	<br> Add a concluding statement
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+	Schippeitaro managed to outsmart the Cat King in order to catch him. According to the text, "But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth fastened in him, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” In conclusion, this shows how Schippeitaro managed to capture the Cat King.
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware
		+

← Older revision		Revision as of 23:42, 22 June 2020
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	Peta's Writing Page		Peta's Writing Page
		+
		+	Schippeitaro managed to outsmart the Cat King in order to catch him. According to the text,”But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This shows how Schippeitaro managed to capture the Cat King.
		+
		+
		+

	'''Original:''' Johnny-Cake feels and gets more competitive for the more people he outruns. For example,”He said:”I’ve outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o!”This shows that Johnny-Cake is more proud and confident for himself and will think that he will outrun anyone and this behavior increases due to the amount of people of who he could outrun.”		'''Original:''' Johnny-Cake feels and gets more competitive for the more people he outruns. For example,”He said:”I’ve outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o!”This shows that Johnny-Cake is more proud and confident for himself and will think that he will outrun anyone and this behavior increases due to the amount of people of who he could outrun.”

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:49, 19 June 2020
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	Peta's Writing Page		Peta's Writing Page

−	Johnny-Cake feels and gets more competitive for the more people he outruns. For example,”He said:”I’ve outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o!”This shows that Johnny-Cake is more proud and confident for himself and will think that he will outrun anyone and this behavior increases due to the amount of people of who he could outrun.”	+	'''Original:''' Johnny-Cake feels and gets more competitive for the more people he outruns. For example,”He said:”I’ve outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o!”This shows that Johnny-Cake is more proud and confident for himself and will think that he will outrun anyone and this behavior increases due to the amount of people of who he could outrun.”

		+	<br> Johnny-Cake feels and gets more competitive for the more people he outruns.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: Great first sentence!
		+
		+	<br> For example,”He said:”I’ve outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o!”
		+
		+	*** Edited for punctuation and clarity: For example, he said ”I’ve outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o!”
		+
		+	<br> Take out the semi colon after 'said' and the quotations before 'he'
		+
		+	<br> This shows that Johnny-Cake is more proud and confident for himself and will think that he will outrun anyone and this behavior increases due to the amount of people of who he could outrun.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: This shows that Johnny-Cake is proud and confident of himself and thinks that he will outrun anyone and this behavior increases due to the amount of people of who he could outrun.
		+
		+	<br> Good! Take out the quotations after 'outrun'
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+	Johnny-Cake feels and gets more competitive for the more people he outruns. For example, he said ”I’ve outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o!” This shows that Johnny-Cake is proud and confident of himself and thinks that he will outrun anyone and this behavior increases due to the amount of people of who he could outrun.
		+
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:56, 19 June 2020
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−	Jack became rich by carrying the donkey in a very humerus manner that the princess laughed and he married her and became very wealthy. For example,”This young lady happened to be looking out of the window when Jack was passing with the donkey on his shoulders, with the legs sticking up in the air, and the sight was so comical and strange she burst into a great fit of laughter, and immediately recovered her speech and hearing.” This shows how Lazy Jack became very wealthy by carrying the donkey in a very chaotic position that made the princess go mad with laughter and then the king made his daughter marry Lazy Jack.	+	'''Original:''' Jack became rich by carrying the donkey in a very humerus manner that the princess laughed and he married her and became very wealthy. For example,”This young lady happened to be looking out of the window when Jack was passing with the donkey on his shoulders, with the legs sticking up in the air, and the sight was so comical and strange she burst into a great fit of laughter, and immediately recovered her speech and hearing.” This shows how Lazy Jack became very wealthy by carrying the donkey in a very chaotic position that made the princess go mad with laughter and then the king made his daughter marry Lazy Jack.
		+
		+	'''Edits:'''
		+
		+	<br> Jack became rich by carrying the donkey in a very humerus manner that the princess laughed and he married her and became very wealthy.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: Jack became rich by carrying the donkey in a humorous manner, making the princess laugh which led him to marry her and she became very wealthy.
		+
		+	<br> Good first sentence!
		+
		+	<br> For example,”This young lady happened to be looking out of the window when Jack was passing with the donkey on his shoulders, with the legs sticking up in the air, and the sight was so comical and strange she burst into a great fit of laughter, and immediately recovered her speech and hearing.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for fluidity: For example, "This young lady happened to be looking out of the window when Jack was passing with the donkey on his shoulders, with the legs sticking up in the air, and the sight was so comical and strange she burst into a great fit of laughter, and immediately recovered her speech and hearing.”
		+
		+	<br> Make sure to put a space between the quotations and comma
		+
		+	<br> This shows how Lazy Jack became very wealthy by carrying the donkey in a very chaotic position that made the princess go mad with laughter and then the king made his daughter marry Lazy Jack.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: In conclusion, this shows how Jack became very wealthy by carrying the donkey in a very chaotic position that made the princess go mad with laughter and then the king made his daughter marry Jack.
		+
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+
		+	Jack became rich by carrying the donkey in a humorous manner, making the princess laugh which led him to marry her and she became very wealthy. For example, "This young lady happened to be looking out of the window when Jack was passing with the donkey on his shoulders, with the legs sticking up in the air, and the sight was so comical and strange she burst into a great fit of laughter, and immediately recovered her speech and hearing.” In conclusion, this shows how Jack became very wealthy by carrying the donkey in a very chaotic position that made the princess go mad with laughter and then the king made his daughter marry Jack.
		+
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware