Godh - Revision history

47.197.59.214 at 17:45, 30 June 2020

2020-06-30T17:45:38Z

69.206.78.202 at 13:27, 26 June 2020

2020-06-26T13:27:22Z

69.206.78.202 at 21:02, 24 June 2020

2020-06-24T21:02:18Z

47.197.59.214 at 17:54, 24 June 2020

2020-06-24T17:54:37Z

47.197.59.214 at 17:50, 24 June 2020

2020-06-24T17:50:48Z

47.197.59.214 at 16:53, 24 June 2020

2020-06-24T16:53:14Z

69.206.78.202 at 14:48, 24 June 2020

2020-06-24T14:48:04Z

47.197.59.214 at 15:46, 23 June 2020

2020-06-23T15:46:31Z

69.206.78.202 at 14:35, 23 June 2020

2020-06-23T14:35:30Z

47.197.59.214 at 19:16, 19 June 2020

2020-06-19T19:16:50Z

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:45, 30 June 2020
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	Godh's writing Page		Godh's writing Page
−	The two events the fairy God-Mother magically bestow (gave) to Cinderella was a beautiful dress and a fine coach. One detail from the passage is that “ Well said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will contrive that thou shalt go.” Then she took her into her chamber, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.” Second detail from the passage is that “ She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor, when, giving each mouse, as it went out, a little tap with her wand, the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. Being at a loss for a coachman.” This is the two events the fairy God-Mother magically bestow (gave) to Cinderella.	+
		+	'''Original:''' The two events the fairy God-Mother magically bestow (gave) to Cinderella was a beautiful dress and a fine coach. One detail from the passage is that “ Well said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will contrive that thou shalt go.” Then she took her into her chamber, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.” Second detail from the passage is that “ She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor, when, giving each mouse, as it went out, a little tap with her wand, the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. Being at a loss for a coachman.” This is the two events the fairy God-Mother magically bestow (gave) to Cinderella.
		+
		+	'''Edits:'''
		+
		+	<br> The two events the fairy God-Mother magically bestow (gave) to Cinderella was a beautiful dress and a fine coach.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: There were two items the Fairy Godmother gave Cinderella which was a beautiful dress and a fine coach.
		+
		+	<br> Good first sentence! Changed some wording around a bit to make the sentence flow better.
		+
		+	<br> One detail from the passage is that “ Well said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will contrive that thou shalt go.” Then she took her into her chamber, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for fluidity: For instance, one detail from the passage is "Well said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will contrive that thou shalt go.” Then she took her into her chamber, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.”
		+
		+	<br> Good citation! Make sure to begin with a transition statement.
		+
		+	<br> Second detail from the passage is that “ She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor, when, giving each mouse, as it went out, a little tap with her wand, the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. Being at a loss for a coachman.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for fluidity: Another detail from the passage is, "She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor, when, giving each mouse, as it went out, a little tap with her wand, the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. Being at a loss for a coachman.”
		+
		+	<br> Good citation!
		+
		+	<br> This is the two events the fairy God-Mother magically bestow (gave) to Cinderella.
		+
		+	*** Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, these are the two events the fairy God-Mother magically gave to Cinderella.
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+
		+	There were two items the Fairy Godmother gave Cinderella which was a beautiful dress and a fine coach. For instance, one detail from the passage is "Well said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will contrive that thou shalt go.” Then she took her into her chamber, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.” Another detail from the passage is, "She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor, when, giving each mouse, as it went out, a little tap with her wand, the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. Being at a loss for a coachman.” In conclusion, these are the two events the fairy God-Mother magically gave to Cinderella.
		+
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware
		+

← Older revision		Revision as of 13:27, 26 June 2020
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	Godh's writing Page		Godh's writing Page
		+	The two events the fairy God-Mother magically bestow (gave) to Cinderella was a beautiful dress and a fine coach. One detail from the passage is that “ Well said her godmother, “be but a good girl, and I will contrive that thou shalt go.” Then she took her into her chamber, and said to her, “Run into the garden, and bring me a pumpkin.” Second detail from the passage is that “ She then went to look into her mouse-trap, where she found six mice, all alive, and ordered Cinderella to lift up a little the trapdoor, when, giving each mouse, as it went out, a little tap with her wand, the mouse was that moment turned into a fine horse, which altogether made a very fine set of six horses of a beautiful mouse-colored dapple-gray. Being at a loss for a coachman.” This is the two events the fairy God-Mother magically bestow (gave) to Cinderella.
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+

	'''Original:''' The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion but he is actually a donkey. One detail from the passage is that “ At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey.” Second detail is “ Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields. And when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“ This is how the poem's stanzas tell about the donkey.		'''Original:''' The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion but he is actually a donkey. One detail from the passage is that “ At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey.” Second detail is “ Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields. And when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“ This is how the poem's stanzas tell about the donkey.

@@ Line 1: / Line 1: @@
 Godh's writing Page
-'''Original:''' The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion bot he is actually a donkey. One detail from the passage is that “  At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey.” Second detail is “ Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields. And when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“ This is how the poem's stanzas tell about the donkey.
+'''Original:''' The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion but he is actually a donkey. One detail from the passage is that “  At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey.” Second detail is “ Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields. And when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“ This is how the poem's stanzas tell about the donkey.
 '''Edits:'''

@@ Line 7: / Line 7: @@
 <br> The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion bot he is actually a donkey.
-*** Edited for clarity: The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey and how he is tricking the villagers that he is a lion but he's actually a donkey.
+*** Edited for clarity: The poems stanzas tell about the donkey and how he is tricking the villagers that he is a lion but he's actually a donkey.
 <br> Good first sentence! Switched the wording around to make the sentence flow better
@@ Line 32: / Line 32: @@
 '''Final Edit:'''
-The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey and how he is tricking the villagers that he is a lion but he's actually a donkey. For instance, one detail from the story is "At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey." Another detail from the poem is, "Now at each place he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields." In conclusion, this is how the poem discusses what happened with the donkey.
+The poems stanzas tell about the donkey and how he is tricking the villagers that he is a lion but he's actually a donkey. For instance, one detail from the story is "At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey." Another detail from the poem is, "Now at each place he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields." In conclusion, this is how the poem discusses what happened with the donkey.

← Older revision		Revision as of 17:50, 24 June 2020
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	'''Edits:'''		'''Edits:'''
		+
		+	<br> The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion bot he is actually a donkey.
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey and how he is tricking the villagers that he is a lion but he's actually a donkey.
		+
		+	<br> Good first sentence! Switched the wording around to make the sentence flow better
		+
		+	<br> One detail from the passage is that “ At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: For instance, one detail from the story is "At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey."
		+
		+	<br> Good citation! Add a transition statement
		+
		+	<br> Second detail is “ Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields. And when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: Another detail from the poem is, "Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields and when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“
		+
		+	<br> Good!
		+
		+	<br> This is how the poem's stanzas tell about the donkey.
		+
		+	*** Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this is how the poem discusses what happened with the donkey.
		+
		+	<br> Add a concluding statement
		+
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+	The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey and how he is tricking the villagers that he is a lion but he's actually a donkey. For instance, one detail from the story is "At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey." Another detail from the poem is, "Now at each place he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields." In conclusion, this is how the poem discusses what happened with the donkey.
		+
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware
		+

← Older revision		Revision as of 16:53, 24 June 2020
Line 1:		Line 1:
	Godh's writing Page		Godh's writing Page
−	The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion bot he is actually a donkey. One detail from the passage is that “ At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey.” Second detail is “ Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields. And when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“ This is how the poem's stanzas tell about the donkey.	+
		+	'''Original:''' The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion bot he is actually a donkey. One detail from the passage is that “ At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey.” Second detail is “ Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields. And when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“ This is how the poem's stanzas tell about the donkey.
		+
		+	'''Edits:'''

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:48, 24 June 2020
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	Godh's writing Page		Godh's writing Page
		+	The poem's stanzas tell about the donkey that he is tricking the villagers that he’s a lion bot he is actually a donkey. One detail from the passage is that “ At that time a hawker used to go from place to place, trafficking in goods carried by a donkey.” Second detail is “ Now at each place, he came to, when he took the pack down from the donkey's back, he used to clothe him in a lion's skin, and turn him loose in the rice and barley fields. And when the watchmen in the fields saw the donkey, they dared not go near him, taking him for a lion.“ This is how the poem's stanzas tell about the donkey.
		+
		+
		+
		+

	'''Original:''' Schippeitaro captured the Cat King by fasting his teeth in the Cat King. One detail from the passage is that “ But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth were fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This is how Schippeitaro captured the Cat King.		'''Original:''' Schippeitaro captured the Cat King by fasting his teeth in the Cat King. One detail from the passage is that “ But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth were fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This is how Schippeitaro captured the Cat King.

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:46, 23 June 2020
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	Godh's writing Page		Godh's writing Page

−	Schippeitaro captured the Cat King by fasting his teeth in the Cat King. One detail from the passage is that “ But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth were fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This is how Schippeitaro captured the Cat King.	+	'''Original:''' Schippeitaro captured the Cat King by fasting his teeth in the Cat King. One detail from the passage is that “ But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth were fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This is how Schippeitaro captured the Cat King.
		+
		+	'''Edits:'''
		+
		+	<br> Schippeitaro captured the Cat King by fasting his teeth in the Cat King.
		+
		+	*** Edited for grammar: Schippeitaro captured the Cat King by fastening his teeth in the Cat King.
		+
		+	<br> Change 'fasting' to 'fastening.' Good first sentence!
		+
		+	<br> One detail from the passage is that “ But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth were fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.”
		+
		+	*** Edited for clarity: For instance, one detail from the passage is "But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth were fastened in him, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope."
		+
		+	<br> Add a transition statement!
		+
		+	<br> This is how Schippeitaro captured the Cat King.
		+
		+	*** Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this is how Schippeitaro captured the Cat King.
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+
		+	Schippeitaro captured the Cat King by fastening his teeth in the Cat King. For instance, one detail from the passage is "But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth were fastened in him, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope." In conclusion, this is how Schippeitaro captured the Cat King.
		+
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware
		+
		+

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:35, 23 June 2020
Line 1:		Line 1:
	Godh's writing Page		Godh's writing Page
		+
		+	Schippeitaro captured the Cat King by fasting his teeth in the Cat King. One detail from the passage is that “ But instead of finding the maiden, Schippeitaro’s teeth were fastened in HIM, and the youth ran up and captured the Cat King with rope.” This is how Schippeitaro captured the Cat King.
		+
		+
		+
		+
		+

	'''Original:''' Johnny-cake feels about winning against others in running , happy , proud. One detail from the passage is that “ He said: “I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and two ditch-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o!.” This is how Johnny-cake feels about winning against others in running.		'''Original:''' Johnny-cake feels about winning against others in running , happy , proud. One detail from the passage is that “ He said: “I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and two ditch-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o!.” This is how Johnny-cake feels about winning against others in running.

← Older revision		Revision as of 19:16, 19 June 2020
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	'''Edits:'''		'''Edits:'''
		+
		+	<br> Johnny-cake feels about winning against others in running , happy , proud.
		+
		+	*** Edited for punctuation and clarity: Johnny-Cake feels good about winning against others.
		+
		+	<br> Good!
		+
		+	<br> One detail from the passage is that “ He said: “I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and two ditch-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o!.”
		+
		+	*** Edited fro clarity: For instance, one detail from the passage is "He said: “I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and two ditch-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o!.”
		+
		+	<br> Good citation! Start the sentence off with a transition statement
		+
		+	<br> This is how Johnny-cake feels about winning against others in running.
		+
		+
		+	*** Edited for fluidity: In conclusion, this is how Johnny-Cake felt about winning against others in running.
		+
		+
		+	'''Final Edit:'''
		+
		+
		+	Johnny-Cake feels good about winning against others. For instance, one detail from the passage is "He said: “I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman, and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o! I've outrun an old man, and an old woman and a little boy, and two well-diggers, and two ditch-diggers, and I can outrun you too-o-o!.” In conclusion, this is how Johnny-Cake felt about winning against others in running.
		+
		+
		+	Edited by Kelsey Eggsware
		+
		+