The World for Freedom

<br> Another Disadvantage for the Poor
<br> Scientists have found that the neighborhood a child grows up in could affect their health as an adult.
<br> Several children born in England and Wales were observed for a long term study until they were 18.
<br> These children were mostly from low-income families and poorer neighborhoods, which were often tainted with more pollution, tobacco smoke, etc.
<br> These factors could lead to the children developing epigenetic differences in their genes, deteriorating their health even more.
<br> Scientists do not know whether these health disparities are temporary or long-term, and they hope to figure it out in future studies.
<br> They hope to understand how social factors could have an effect on one’s health and wellbeing.
<br> Source: https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2020/06/200619115704.htm

Another Disadvantage for the Impoverished <br>
'''***Edited for word choice.'''

According to a long term study, scientists have found that the neighborhood a child grows up in can potentially affect their health as an adult. <br>
'''***Edited for a transitional phrase and fluency.'''

Several children born in England and Wales were observed until they were 18 for a long term study. <br>
'''***Edited for syntax.'''

These children were mostly from low-income families and neighborhoods, which were often tainted with more pollution and tobacco smoke. <br>
'''***Edited for fluency and word choice.'''

These factors could lead to the children developing epigenetic differences in their genes, deteriorating their health to a larger extent than the normal process of aging. <br>
'''***Edited for clarity.'''

Scientists do not know if these health disparities are temporary or long-term, and they hope to figure it out in future studies. <br>
'''***Edited for word choice.'''

They hope to understand how social factors could impact one’s health and wellbeing. <br>
'''***Edited for fluency.'''

Another Disadvantage for the Impoverished <br>
According to a long term study, scientists have found that the neighborhood a child grows up in can potentially affect their health as an adult. Several children born in England and Wales were observed until they were 18 for a long term study. These children were mostly from low-income families and neighborhoods, which were often tainted with more pollution and tobacco smoke. These factors could lead to the children developing epigenetic differences in their genes, deteriorating their health to a larger extent than the normal process of aging. Scientists do not know if these health disparities are temporary or long-term, and they hope to figure it out in future studies. They hope to understand how social factors could impact one’s health and wellbeing. <br>
'''***Overall good job! Work on improving word choice to include more academic language.'''

Edited by Nicole Glidden 
 

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<br> Smelling the Past
<br> Many often give credit to their sense of smell for helping them remember things from the past, but how is it possible that smell can trigger memories?
<br> Scientists have been researching for the answer to that question.
<br> One of them is Rachel Herz at Brown University, who conducted an experiment and found that the women who participated in it linked the certain familiar perfume smell to a good memory rather than from the perfume samples they hadn't smelled before.
<br> Like Herz, many other scientists have conducted their own experiments and found similar results, with a certain familiar scent influencing the person's emotions and triggering a memory rather than a smell they hadn't smelled before.
<br> Although the results are fairly outstanding, the reason why people can do this is still a mystery, but the way our noses work could be a big factor in answering this question.
<br> Everyone's nose is connected to the base of their brain and this could be the reason why smells can trigger some emotional memories in peoples' brains because of the close distance between the brain and the nose as well as the olfactory bulb that runs from both sides.
<br> Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-smells-trigger-memories1/

Smelling the Past <br>
'''***Concise and gets the main idea of the article across.'''

Many often cite their sense of smell for helping them remember things from the past, but how is it possible that smell triggers memories? <br>
'''***Edited for fluency.'''

Scientists have been conducting research to analyze the pairing between smell and recollection. <br>
'''***Edited for fluency, word choice and clarity.'''

Rachel Herz, a scientist at Brown University, conducted an experiment concerning memory and smell. Herz found that participants linked the familiar perfume to a good memory, and did not link the perfume samples they hadn't smelled before. <br>
'''***Edited for fluency, clarity, and to avoid a run-on sentence.'''

Like Herz, many other scientists have conducted their own experiments and found similar results, with familiar scents influencing the person's emotions and triggering a memory. <br>
'''***Edited for fluency and brevity.'''

Although the results are fairly outstanding, the reason why people can do this is still a mystery; however, the way humans' noses work could be a big factor in answering this question. <br>
'''***Edited for punctuation and word choice.'''

The close distance between the brain and the nose as well as the olfactory bulb that runs from both sides could explain the relationship between scent and memory. <br>
'''***Edited for syntax (sentence order) and clarity.'''

Smelling the Past <br>

Many often cite their sense of smell for helping them remember things from the past, but how is it possible that smell triggers memories? Scientists have been conducting research to analyze the pairing between smell and recollection. Rachel Herz, a scientist at Brown University, conducted an experiment concerning memory and smell. Herz found that participants linked the familiar perfume to a good memory, and did not link the perfume samples they hadn't smelled before. Like Herz, many other scientists have conducted their own experiments and found similar results, with familiar scents influencing the person's emotions and triggering a memory. Although the results are fairly outstanding, the reason why people can do this is still a mystery; however, the way humans' noses work could be a big factor in answering this question. The close distance between the brain and the nose as well as the olfactory bulb that runs from both sides could explain the relationship between scent and memory. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/why-do-smells-trigger-memories1/ <br>
'''***Try to split up your ideas to avoid run-on sentences. It's ok to use less words and more simple language if it conveys the same message and makes more sense to the reader.'''

Edited by Nicole Glidden



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<br> How to Protect Yourself When Protesting in 2020
<br> With the rise of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement, more and more police are being deployed to control those crowds.
<br> However, not all of the methods used by the police are safe for the protesters themselves, as it can hurt them. This is how to protect yourself when you protest out on the streets.
<br> Police will throw chemical irritants, flash grenades, and shoot rubber bullets, so it is best to wear some sort of protective eyewear such as goggles (swimming, skiing, or construction ones) to avoid unwanted things from getting in your eyes.
<br> You should also wear some earplugs in case the police throw a stun grenade. They can create a loud noise and can cause temporary deafness. 
<br> For the face, masks are highly encouraged, as we are still in the midst of the coronavirus. Additionally, it can provide a way to remain anonymous, as police wouldn't be able to identify who you are.
<br> Last but not least, you should wear long-sleeved shirts and/or pants so that your skin wouldn't be heavily affected by the tear gas or pepper spray.
<br> Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-protect-yourself-during-protests/





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<br> Safe Walks with Shawn
<br> Shawn Dromgoole is a 29-year old African American man who had lived in Nashville all his life.
<br> When gentrification and cost of living increased in his neighborhood, many black families began to move out, resulting in more white families moving in.
<br> Feeling out of place in his own neighborhood and with recent events occurring around him such as the racism and police brutality, Dromgoole felt uncomfortable walking freely around his predominantly-white neighborhood.
<br> After posting about his thoughts and feelings online, he gained the support of many in his neighborhood.
<br> They offered to walk with him wherever he went to provide him with a shield of support and safety.
<br> Inspired, Dromgoole posted his experience, which surged many other walks similar to his own. The support of his neighbors helped him to get through his fear of walking alone.
<br> Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/black-man-scared-to-walk-in-neighborhood-joined-by-75-neighbors/

Shawn Dromgoole is a 29-year-old African American man who has lived in Nashville all his life. <br>
'''***Edited for punctuation and tense consistency.'''

When gentrification and cost of living increased in his neighborhood many black families began to move out, resulting in more white families moving in. <br>
'''***Edited for punctuation.'''

Given recent events concerning racism and police brutality, Dromgoole felt out of place and uncomfortable walking around his predominantly white neighborhood. <br>
'''***Edited for fluency and punctuation.'''

After posting about his thoughts and feelings online, he gained the support of many people in his neighborhood. <br>
'''***Edited for clarity.'''

They offered to walk with him wherever he went to provide him with a shield of support and safety. <br>
'''***Good!'''

Inspired, Dromgoole posted his experience, which surged many other walks similar to his own. The support of his neighbors helped him to get through his fear of walking alone. <br>
'''***Nice job!'''

Safe Walks with Shawn <br>

Shawn Dromgoole is a 29-year-old African American man who has lived in Nashville all his life. When gentrification and cost of living increased in his neighborhood many black families began to move out, resulting in more white families moving in. Given recent events concerning racism and police brutality, Dromgoole felt out of place and uncomfortable walking around his predominantly white neighborhood. After posting about his thoughts and feelings online, he gained the support of many people in his neighborhood. They offered to walk with him wherever he went to provide him with a shield of support and safety. Inspired, Dromgoole posted his experience, which surged many other walks similar to his own. The support of his neighbors helped him to get through his fear of walking alone. 
Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/black-man-scared-to-walk-in-neighborhood-joined-by-75-neighbors/ <br>
'''***Good job overall! I look forward to reading more.'''

Edited by Nicole Glidden


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<br> Michael Jordan in Support of the Black Community
<br> Basketball star Micheal Jordan announced that his Jordan Brand will donate 100 million dollars towards the goal for racial equality, better education, and social justice.
<br> With the growing support of the Black Lives Matter movement, many are coming together to eventually solve the problems that black people face on the daily.
<br> Jordan, whose goal is to peacefully unite everyone, stated that he will donate the money to youth programs, mentorships, and opportunities for the black youth.
<br> This generosity is not a new thing for Jordan either.
<br> He had been funding programs and organizations such as his "Jordan Wings Program" where he provided a selected group of students from America and China, mostly those who were underprivileged and had lots of potential, with a full scholarship to any four-year college. 
<br> However, in the most recent controversy on police brutality, he believed that everyone in support of the BLM movement should remain peaceful and work together to create actual systematic change.
<br> Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/michael-jordan-brand-pledges-100million-to-black-communities/

Michael Jordan in Support of the Black Community <br>
'''***Good!'''

Basketball star Micheal Jordan announced that his Jordan Brand will donate $100 million to organizations aiming for racial equality, better education, and social justice. <br>
'''***Edited for grammar and punctuation.'''

With the growing support of the Black Lives Matter movement, many are coming together to solve the problems that Black people face on a daily basis. <br>
'''***Edited for fluency and punctuation. Part of the BLM movement involves the reclaiming words used to describe Black people, and capitalizing the word signifies the separation between personhood and color, placing the human before the color of their skin. The color "black" is lowercase.'''

Jordan, whose goal is to peacefully unite everyone, stated that he will donate the money to youth programs, mentorships, and opportunities for the Black youth.<br>
'''***Strong sentence! Edited for punctuation.'''

This generosity is not a new gesture for Jordan. <br>
'''***Edited for word choice and grammar.'''

Jordan funds programs and organizations, such as his "Jordan Wings Program," where he provides a selected group of students from America and China, mostly those who are underprivileged and have lots of potential, with a full scholarship to any four-year college. <br>
'''***Edited for tense and punctuation.'''

In light of the most recent controversy on police brutality, he believes that everyone in support of the BLM movement should remain peaceful and work together to create actual systematic change. <br>
'''***Edited for word choice and tense consistency. Words such as "however" are used to indicate a relationship between two contrasting thoughts. If Jordan historically advocates for peaceful behavior and has shown no support for violence in the past, his advocacy for peace now is not in opposition to past behavior. 

Michael Jordan in Support of the Black Community <br>

Basketball star Micheal Jordan announced that his Jordan Brand will donate $100 million to organizations aiming for racial equality, better education, and social justice. With the growing support of the Black Lives Matter movement, many are coming together to solve the problems that Black people face on a daily basis. 
Jordan, whose goal is to peacefully unite everyone, stated that he will donate the money to youth programs, mentorships, and opportunities for the Black youth. 
This generosity is not a new gesture for Jordan. Jordan funds programs and organizations, such as his "Jordan Wings Program," where he provides a selected group of students from America and China, mostly those who are underprivileged and have lots of potential, with a full scholarship to any four-year college. In light of the most recent controversy on police brutality, he believes that everyone in support of the BLM movement should remain peaceful and work together to create actual systematic change. Source: https://www.goodnewsnetwork.org/michael-jordan-brand-pledges-100million-to-black-communities/ <br>
'''***Good job picking a timely topic and summarizing the information clearly.'''

Edited by Nicole Glidden


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<br> Free Grad Cake
<br> With the coronavirus pandemic, many are quarantined in their homes, including high school seniors.
<br> What was supposed to be their exciting last year of high school was canceled, along with their prom, graduation, and senior trips.
<br> However, Hanisch Bakery and Coffee Shop in the town of Red Wing was determined to bring joy to the faces of the upset seniors, so he decided to make a custom cake for every senior at his nearest high school.
<br> Regardless of having had a tough time due to the coronavirus, the bakery was eager to carry out with their plan.
<br> However, as more people heard of this bakery's kindness, the owners began to receive donations to keep their business running.
<br> Even during the hard times, people still come together for the better.
<br> Source: https://www.today.com/food/bakery-giving-away-over-1-000-cakes-seniors-missing-graduation-t183145

Free Grad Cake <br/>
'''***Good headline that properly addresses the contents of the article.'''

With the coronavirus pandemic, many are quarantined in their homes, including high school seniors. <br/>
'''***This is a nice, clear sentence that introduces the topic well and peaks readers' interest.'''

What was supposed to be their exciting last year of high school was canceled, along with their prom, graduation, and senior trips. <br/>
'''***Good!'''

However, Hanisch Bakery and Coffee Shop in the town of Red Wing was determined to bring joy to the faces of upset seniors; so, the baker decided to make a custom cake for every senior at the nearest high school. <br/>
'''***This sentence is a bit wordy and contains an independent and dependent clause, so I punctuated it with a semicolon to break it up and improve fluency.'''

Regardless of struggling due to the coronavirus, the bakery was eager to carry out their plan of giving away free cakes. <br/>
'''***Edited for fluency and clarity.'''

The owners began receiving donations to keep their business running as more people heard of their kindness. <br/>
'''***Edited for fluency.'''

Even during hard times, people still come together for the better. <br/>
'''***Excellent!'''

Free Grad Cake

With the coronavirus pandemic, many are quarantined in their homes, including high school seniors. What was supposed to be their exciting last year of high school was canceled, along with their prom, graduation, and senior trips. However, Hanisch Bakery and Coffee Shop in the town of Red Wing was determined to bring joy to the faces of upset seniors; so, the baker decided to make a custom cake for every senior at the nearest high school. Regardless of struggling due to the coronavirus, the bakery was eager to carry out their plan of giving away free cakes. The owners began receiving donations to keep their business running as more people heard of their kindness. Even during hard times, people still come together for the better. <br/>
'''***Overall, this was a really good article! Try to focus on improving the fluency of your sentence by reducing the amount of words used to convey something that can be said in a more simple manner.'''

Edited by Nicole Glidden

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<br> Using Viruses to Fight Viruses
<br> Scientists from Hokkaido University in Japan genetically built adenoviruses, which are viruses that replicate inside cancer cells specifically and destroy them.
<br> How did they achieve this feat, you may ask?
<br> Using lab rats, the scientists injected them with human cancer cells, which resulted in tumors on the rats.
<br> Afterwards, the scientists injected the adenovirus in the tumor, which significantly reduced its size and impact.
<br> Because it is made to only attack cancer cells, the recipient would experience little symptoms from this virus.
<br> However, this experiment is far from complete. In order to master the build of this virus, scientists will have to continue studying it.
<br> Regardless, the scientists are very confident that their genetically engineered virus will gon on to aid those who are also sick from "inflammations, viral infection, hypoxia, and ultraviolet irradiation."
<br> Source: https://nypost.com/2020/05/28/scientists-create-virus-that-has-potential-to-fight-cancer/

Using Viruses to Fight Detrimental Illnesses<br/>
'''***'''After reading the article, it appears the author mentions a wide array of illnesses, meaning that the headline should be more broad to account for all those mentioned.

Scientists from Hokkaido University in Japan genetically built adenoviruses, which are viruses that specifically replicate inside cancer cells and destroy them. <br/>
'''***'''Edited for syntax. This a strong opening sentence, but the word "specifically" needed to go before the verb.

How do scientists achieve this feat? <br/>
'''***'''Edited to clarify subject and clarity. The sentence before the question includes scientists, adenoviruses, and cancer cells, so it's important to indicate to the reader who or what is doing the action. I removed "you may ask" because it's informal and shifts the tone of the article from academic to casual. When writing about scientific topics try to avoid referencing the reader directly. 

First, the scientists inject lab rats with human cancer cells, which results in tumors in the rats. <br/>
'''***'''Edited for fluency and grammar. I also changed the tense to present instead of past, which is also known as the active voice. This method of research is new and still being used today, meaning that it is ongoing and current. 

Afterwards, the scientists inject the adenovirus into the tumor, which significantly reduces its size and impact. <br/>
'''***'''Edited for tense and spelling. See comment above.

The adenovirus only attacks cancer cells, so the recipient experiences little symptoms from the virus. <br/>
'''***'''Edited for tense consistency and grammar. It's typically advised to avoid starting sentences with "because" and I clarified the subject of the sentence by changing "it" to adenovirus.

However, this experiment is far from complete. In order to master the build of this virus, scientists will have to continue studying it. <br/>
'''***'''Good job!

Regardless, the scientists are very confident that their genetically engineered virus will go on to aid those who are also sick from "inflammations, viral infection, hypoxia, and ultraviolet irradiation." <br/>
'''***'''Edited for spelling. Make sure to check for typos. 

Using Viruses to Fight Detrimental Illnesses

Scientists from Hokkaido University in Japan genetically built adenoviruses, which are viruses that specifically replicate inside cancer cells and destroy them. How do scientists achieve this feat? First the scientists inject lab rats with human cancer cells, which results in tumors in the rats. Afterwards, the scientists inject the adenovirus into the tumor, which significantly reduces its size and impact. The adenovirus only attacks cancer cells, so the recipient experiences little symptoms from the virus. However, this experiment is far from complete. In order to master the build of this virus, scientists will have to continue studying it. Regardless, the scientists are very confident that their genetically engineered virus will go on to aid those who are also sick from "inflammations, viral infection, hypoxia, and ultraviolet irradiation." Source: https://nypost.com/2020/05/28/scientists-create-virus-that-has-potential-to-fight-cancer/

'''***'''I really enjoyed reading this and learned a lot. Make sure to check for typos, write in the present tense when applicable, and reduce your work to the six sentence requirement.

Edited by Nicole Glidden

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<br> NASA Scientists Find Evidence of a Possible Parallel Universe
<br> In the frigid and snowy land of Antarctica, NASA scientists had found evidence of a possible alternate universe.
<br> Using Antarctic Impulsive Transient Antenna or ANITA, scientists recorded high-energy particles coming to Earth from outer space, which were normal.
<br> However, they recently found that heavier particles were getting released from Earth itself, which confused many scientists.
<br> Many think that these heavier particles were traveling back in time, suggesting an alternate universe in which time goes backwards.
<br> Of course, this is only the beginning of the research.
<br> This finding caused many to jump to conclusions, but solid evidence should be unveiled for the public to truly believe that there is a parallel universe.
<br> Source: https://nypost.com/2020/05/19/nasa-finds-evidence-of-parallel-universe-where-time-runs-backward-report/




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<br> US Government Confirms the Existence of UFOs!
<br> The US Navy and the Pentagon had recently confirmed some footages showing UFOs (Unidentified Flying Objects) to be real and untampered with.
<br> While they claim that they did not know what these objects were, many are suspecting them to be alien ships.
<br> In one of the videos released, there was a circular flying craft that amazed some US fighter pilots.
<br> One claimed, "My gosh! They're all going against the wind," which suggests an aircraft with tremendous power and speed.
<br> Many are worried as to what else the US Navy and government might be hiding since it could prove the existence of aliens.
<br> Nevertheless, the US government and Navy stated that they will continue to find UFO reportings and examine them closely.
<br> Source: https://www.cnn.com/2019/09/18/politics/navy-confirms-ufo-videos-trnd/index.html



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<br> How to Give a Helping Hand
<br> With the coronavirus pandemic, many are quarantined in their homes to prevent it from spreading.
<br> However, how about the essential worker? They still have to work, as their work is essential to fighting the virus and keeping society in check.
<br> They are struggling right now since supplies and materials are running out.
<br> You can donate some of your Stimulus money, as you don't really have anything else to spend it on except for food.
<br> You can also donate any medical supplies or unused masks that you may have to local hospitals or neighbors who need them.
<br> However, if you cannot do any of that, you can stay home and if going outside, stay 6 feet away from others.
<br> Just by doing that, you can increase your chances of safety and prevent the spread of the novel coronavirus.
<br> Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/22/smarter-living/all-of-the-ways-you-can-help.html?algo=identity&fellback=false&imp_id=253129527&imp_id=244306671&action=click&module=Smarter%20Living&pgtype=Homepage




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'''Unedited Paragraph:'''

<br> Dalgona Coffee Craze
<br> Dalgona coffee, which is a whipped coffee consisting of only instant coffee, sugar, and water, had stormed the internet these past few weeks.
<br> With everyone staying home because of quarantine, many people are looking for new recipes and snacks.
<br> Made popular from popular streaming devices like YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, many had decided to try this new simple treat.
<br> How do you make it?
<br> You need instant coffee (the kind that melts into water easily), sugar, and water.
<br> Depending on how much you want to make, you need to have equal amounts of all three ingredients.
<br> Then, whip by hand or by machine until the mixture turns creamy.
<br> Tada! You've made Dalgona coffee!
<br> You can enjoy this whip over cold or warm milk!
<br> Source: https://www.nytimes.com/article/whipped-coffee-recipe.html?action=click&module=RelatedLinks&pgtype=Article


'''Edits:'''

<br> Dalgona Coffee Craze***
    Good headline.

<br> Dalgona coffee, which is a whipped coffee consisting of only instant coffee, sugar, and water, '''had''' stormed the internet these past few weeks.***
     Same as previous paragraphs, 'had' should be 'has'. 
''Dalgona coffee, which is a whipped coffee consisting of only instant coffee, sugar, and water, has stormed the internet these past few weeks.''

<br> With everyone staying home because of quarantine, many people are looking for new recipes and snacks.
<br> Made popular from popular streaming devices like YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, many '''had''' '''decided''' to try this new simple treat.***
     Change 'had' to 'have'. This change of tense to present perfect (have+past tense verb) means the action already happened but is ongoing. Or in other words, it already occurred, but continues into the present. This is a better fit here.    
<br> ''Made popular from popular streaming devices like YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, many have decided to try this new simple treat.'' 
  
<br> How do you make it?***
<br> You need instant coffee (the kind that melts into water easily), sugar, and water.***
    You have too many sentences, let's combine these two above and we will simply add 'equal parts' before 'instant coffee' which allows us to delete the sentence below. 
''To make it you need equals parts instant coffee (the kind that melts into water easily), sugar, and water.''

<br> Depending on how much you want to make, you need to have equal amounts of all three ingredients.***
     Delete this.

<br> Then, whip by hand or by machine until the mixture turns creamy.***
<br> Tada! You've made Dalgona coffee!***
<br> You can enjoy this whip over cold or warm milk!***
     We still need to get rid of one sentence so from these three above, the middle one will be your conclusion and let's combine the other two. I've kept the two together which both include the instructions and added 'pour' to be more specific.  
''Then, whip by hand or by machine until the mixture turns creamy and pour over cold or warm milk.''
<br>''Tada! You've made Dalgona coffee!''

<br> Source: https://www.nytimes.com/article/whipped-coffee-recipe.html?action=click&module=RelatedLinks&pgtype=Article

***This was another well-written paragraph. You just need to watch those have/had/has verbs and please try to make 6 sentences work. -Kira 


'''Edited Paragraph:'''

Dalgona Coffee Craze

Dalgona coffee, which is a whipped coffee consisting of only instant coffee, sugar, and water, has stormed the internet these past few weeks. With everyone staying home because of quarantine, many people are looking for new recipes and snacks. Made popular from popular streaming devices like YouTube, Instagram, and TikTok, many have decided to try this new simple treat. To make it you need equals parts instant coffee (the kind that melts into water easily), sugar, and water. Then, whip by hand or by machine until the mixture turns creamy and pour over cold or warm milk. Tada! You've made Dalgona coffee! 
<br> Source: https://www.nytimes.com/article/whipped-coffee-recipe.html?action=click&module=RelatedLinks&pgtype=Article

Edited by Kira Carson 





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'''Unedited Paragraph:'''

<br> Zoo Lovers Day
<br> Zoo Lovers Day, which is on April 8, is the perfect day to go to a zoo with friends or family.
<br> Zoos may seem simple and recent, but it actually has an intriguing history dating back to the times of ancient Egypt.
<br> The earliest form of a zoo was found in an archeological dig in Egypt, which consisted of hippos, elephants, baboons, wildcats, and hartebeests.
<br> Zoos used to be only for the higher class citizens to view at, but it became open to the public as time progressed.
<br> Today, there are many zoos all around the world consisting of several exotic animals from worldwide.
<br> Zoos are entertaining as well as important, as it can maintain populations of animals and keep species from becoming extinct.
<br> Source: https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/zoo-lovers-day/


'''Edits:'''

<br> Zoo Lovers Day
<br> Zoo Lovers Day, which is on April 8, is the perfect day to go to a zoo with friends or family.
<br> Zoos may seem '''simple''' and recent, but '''it''' actually '''has''' an intriguing history dating back to the times of ancient Egypt.***
     My only suggestion is to remove 'simple'. This is because the sentence flows better without it and because I think a lot of readers would disagree, arguing that zoos seem complicated, not simple. In bold, the 'it' and 'has' should be changed to 'they' and 'have' to match the plural "zoos". Your forms would be correct if you used 'A zoo' instead of 'Zoos'.  
''Zoos may seem recent, but they actually have an intriguing history dating back to the times of ancient Egypt.''

<br> The earliest form of a zoo was found in an archeological dig in Egypt, which consisted of hippos, elephants, baboons, wildcats, and hartebeests.
<br> Zoos used to be only for '''the''' higher class citizens '''to view at''', but it became open to the public '''as time progressed.'''*** 
     The first half of the sentence is a little wordy and I think we can clean it up a by removing some words or exchanging a few words with something more concise. I've removed 'to view at' and 'the' before 'higher'. I have also rearranged the last half of the sentence to include 'as time progresses' in the center. Your original sentence above is good but, I find the rearrangement is easier to read. 
''Zoos used to be only for higher class citizens but, as time progressed, became open to the public.''
  
<br> Today, there are many zoos all around the world consisting of several exotic animals '''from worldwide.'''***
     Missing a comma after 'world'. Remove 'from worldwide'. It sounds awkward and is unnecessary. 'from' is a preposition that doesn't work in front of 'worldwide' and 'worldwide' is not needed because you're already used the phrase 'all around the world' and 'several exotic animals' which suggests on its own that they came from all over the world.  
''Today, there are many zoos all around the world, consisting of several exotic animals.''

<br> Zoos are entertaining as well as important, as '''it''' can maintain populations of animals and keep species from becoming extinct.***
     Same as one of your first sentences, change 'it' to 'they' to match the plural 'Zoos'.
''Zoos are entertaining as well as important, as they can maintain populations of animals and keep species from becoming extinct.''

<br> Source: https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/zoo-lovers-day/

***Good job! For the most part, your language is nice and clear. Just watch out for those 'extra' words here and there that you don't need and make sure your subject pronouns are correct (zoos=they, a/the zoo=it). 


'''Edited Paragraph:'''

<br> Zoo Lovers Day

Zoo Lovers Day, which is on April 8, is the perfect day to go to a zoo with friends or family. Zoos may seem recent, but they actually have an intriguing history dating back to the times of ancient Egypt. The earliest form of a zoo was found in an archeological dig in Egypt, which consisted of hippos, elephants, baboons, wildcats, and hartebeests. Zoos used to be only for higher class citizens but, as time progressed, became open to the public. Today, there are many zoos all around the world, consisting of several exotic animals. Zoos are entertaining as well as important, as they can maintain populations of animals and keep species from becoming extinct.
<br> Source: https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/zoo-lovers-day/

Edited by Kira Carson 





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<br> The Best Day for Chocolate Caramel Lovers
<br> Many think of chocolate caramel to be one of the greatest inventions ever made by mankind, as it is a mix of sweet caramel and smooth chocolate.
<br> The history and origins of this sweet delight date back to the 17th century when caramel was made by the natives, originally from sugar beet juice.
<br> Chocolate was from Mesoamerica, and when European settlers drank the originally bitter treat, they eagerly brought it back to Europe and made slight changes to the mix, adding sugar.
<br> Mr. Hershey of the Hershey’s Candy Company originally sold caramel, but once he started to make chocolate his main product, he mixed both sweets together to make chocolate caramel.
<br> Mr. Hershey made this mix popular amongst many and it became a sensation.
<br> There are several ways to celebrate this invention, and many include eating one!
<br> Source: https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/chocolate-caramel-day/


'''Edits:''' 

<br> The Best Day for Chocolate Caramel Lovers***
     Since there's no mention of how March 19th is Chocolate Caramel Day, this title doesn't make sense. Suggestions: How Chocolate Caramel Came to Be, March 19th is Chocolate Caramel Day, Chocolate and Caramel: The Perfect Mix, or The Perfect Pair: Chocolate and Caramel. 
''The Perfect Pair: Chocolate and Caramel''

<br> Many think of chocolate caramel to be one of the '''greatest inventions ever made by mankind''', as it is a mix of sweet caramel and smooth chocolate.***
     The area in bold is a very big statement to be made about such a lighthearted topic. I know your sentence is to reflect the first sentence from the article however, I suggest removing 'by mankind' to sound less serious.
''Many think of chocolate caramel to be one of the greatest inventions ever made, as it is a mix of sweet caramel and smooth chocolate.''

<br> The history and origins of this sweet delight date back to the 17th century when caramel was made by the natives, originally from sugar beet juice.***
     Good sentence but, read carefully. Caramel was made by the settlers, not the natives (at least not according to this article).  
''The history and origins of this sweet delight date back to the 17th century when caramel was made by the settlers, originally from sugar beet juice.''

<br> Chocolate was from Mesoamerica, and when European settlers drank the originally bitter treat, they eagerly brought it back to Europe '''and made slight changes to the mix, adding sugar.'''***
     There are a lot of facts in this one sentence. I recommend cleaning it up by getting rid of some of the wordiness at the end.  
''Chocolate was from Mesoamerica, and when European settlers drank the originally bitter treat, they eagerly brought it back to Europe, adding sugar for sweetness.'' 

<br> Mr. '''Hershey''' of the '''Hershey’s''' Candy Company originally sold '''caramel''', but once he started to '''make chocolate''' his main product, he mixed both sweets together to '''make chocolate caramel'''.***
     Omit 'together'. It's not a necessary word since you've already used 'mixed' to describe what's going on. With the words in bold, you can see how there is a lot of repetition. Let's try to remove some of that by using 'produce' instead of 'make'. We also need a transitioning word to tie in this sentence with the one above. I've used 'later'.  
''Later, Mr. Hershey of the Hershey’s Candy Company, who originally sold caramel, began to produce chocolate as his main product and then mixed both sweets to make chocolate caramel.''

<br> Mr. Hershey made this mix popular amongst many '''and it became a sensation.'''***
   The area in bold repeats what is already told to the reader in the first part of the sentence. Changing it to ', creating a sensation' adds flow and feels like new information instead of repetition.    
''Mr. Hershey made this mix popular amongst many, creating a sensation.''  

<br> There are several ways to celebrate this invention, and many include eating one!***
     I've added a transitioning word (Today). Since this is also a historical account the use of 'Today' also helps to tie things together.
''Today, there are several ways to celebrate this invention, and many include eating one!''


'''Edited Paragraph:'''

The Perfect Pair: Chocolate and Caramel

Many think of chocolate caramel to be one of the greatest inventions ever made, as it is a mix of sweet caramel and smooth chocolate. The history and origins of this sweet delight date back to the 17th century when caramel was made by the settlers, originally from sugar beet juice. Chocolate was from Mesoamerica, and when European settlers drank the originally bitter treat, they eagerly brought it back to Europe, adding sugar for sweetness. Later, Mr. Hershey of the Hershey’s Candy Company, who originally sold caramel, began to produce chocolate as his main product and then mixed both sweets to make chocolate caramel. Mr. Hershey made this mix popular amongst many, creating a sensation. Today, there are several ways to celebrate this invention, and many include eating one!
<br> Source: https://www.daysoftheyear.com/days/chocolate-caramel-day/

Edited by Kira Carson 




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<br> Helping the Homeless during a Difficult Time
<br> The coronavirus had gotten many in New York City to stock up on food, water, and necessities, whereas some could not afford to.
<br> Among those unfortunate few are the homeless.
<br> To protect them from the dangers of the coronavirus and the hostile environment regarding it, city officials had begun to move said people into shelters that were required to be cleaned and scrubbed down every few days.
<br> The staff managing these shelters were taught on how to handle the incoming surge of homeless people and remaining clean, both for themselves and for the homeless.
<br> The city still plans to spend more time and money on this ongoing issue, and are working on getting the remaining 3,500 homeless people sleeping in train stations, streets, etc, to relocate to the shelters, in hopes of keeping them away from the coronavirus.
<br> Source: https://ny.curbed.com/2020/3/13/21178079/coronavirus-nyc-homeless-services-covid-19


'''Edits:'''

<br> Helping the Homeless during a Difficult Time***
   Capitalize 'during'. 'during' is a preposition which normally isn't capitalized, however, if the word is more than five letters in a title it is capitalized regardless of the type of word it is. 
''Helping the Homeless During a Difficult Time''

<br> The coronavirus '''had''' gotten many in New York City to stock up on food, water, and necessities, whereas some '''could''' not afford to.***
     This summary should be in the present perfect tense! As with most news stories, the recent events technically have happened in the past but, '''the story is ongoing''' so it will be written with the present perfect tense. This tense uses 'has' with a past tense verb. Ex: "The coronavirus '''has gotten''' many...". Check out this link for more clarification: https://www.dailywritingtips.com/has-vs-had/
''The coronavirus has gotten many in New York City to stock up on food, water, and necessities, whereas some can not afford to.''

<br> Among those unfortunate few are the homeless.
<br> To protect them from the dangers of the coronavirus and the hostile environment regarding it, city officials '''had''' begun to move said people into shelters that '''were''' required to be cleaned and scrubbed down every few days.***
     The first word in bold needs to also change to the present perfect tense because it is ongoing. The second word in bold needs to change to the present tense because 'were' implies that they had needed cleaning but, no longer do. It is an action that is happening now, hence the present tense. 
''To protect them from the dangers of the coronavirus and the hostile environment regarding it, city officials have begun to move said people into shelters that are required to be cleaned and scrubbed down every few days.''

<br> The staff managing these shelters '''were''' taught on how to handle the incoming surge of homeless people and remaining clean, both for themselves and for the homeless.***
     The bold should be in the present perfect form, however, this still leaves the beginning of the sentence in passive voice instead of active voice. To change to active voice the subject (the staff) must perform the action (verb) instead of the subject (the staff) being acted upon (taught). To do this I changed the verb (taught) to 'learned' in order to make sense.  I like this link because it gives tons of examples: https://examples.yourdictionary.com/examples-of-active-and-passive-voice.html 
''The staff have learned how to handle the incoming surge of homeless people along with remaining clean, both for themselves and others.''

***You're missing a fact sentence. My suggestion: 
''Socks and blankets are also being distributed, items which are normally not allowed due to worry it will encourage people to stay on the street.''

<br> The city still plans to spend more time and money on this ongoing issue, and are working on getting the remaining 3,500 homeless people '''sleeping''' in train stations, streets, etc, to '''relocate''' to the shelters, in hopes of keeping them away from the coronavirus.***
   These verbs in bold need to match in form. Change 'relocate' to 'relocating'. Also, add a period after 'etc' for proper punctuation.
''The city still plans to spend more time and money on this ongoing issue, and are working on getting the remaining 3,500 homeless people sleeping in train stations, streets, etc., to relocating to the shelters, in hopes of keeping them away from the coronavirus.''

'''Another good job. Just be aware that your summaries should usually use the present perfect tense! -Kira'''


'''Edited Paragraph:'''

Helping the Homeless during a Difficult Time

The coronavirus has gotten many in New York City to stock up on food, water, and necessities, whereas some can not afford to. Among those unfortunate few are the homeless. To protect them from the dangers of the coronavirus and the hostile environment regarding it, city officials have begun to move said people into shelters that are required to be cleaned and scrubbed down every few days. The staff have learned how to handle the incoming surge of homeless people along with remaining clean, both for themselves and others. Socks and blankets are also being distributed, items which are normally not allowed due to worry it will encourage people to stay on the street. The city still plans to spend more time and money on this ongoing issue, and are working on getting the remaining 3,500 homeless people sleeping in train stations, streets, etc., to relocating to the shelters, in hopes of keeping them away from the coronavirus.
<br> Source: https://ny.curbed.com/2020/3/13/21178079/coronavirus-nyc-homeless-services-covid-19

Edited by Kira Carson   
 



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<br> The Future of Origami
<br> Ichiro Hagiwara, a pioneer in origami engineering at Meiji University, has been working on creating interesting and effective origami designs for consumers to use.
<br> Using origami printing technology, he experiments on different origami designs for several different purposes.
<br> A few examples of his success is a safety helmet made with origami that are effective, as they are shock absorbent and foldable.
<br> He was also a part of a project that created water bottles using origami, which were foldable and more useful than regular plastic bottle.
<br> The main reason why Hagiwara was committed to origami engineering was to bring back a revival of the old Japanese culture of origami by incorporating a modern twist to it.
<br> Hagiwara believes that origami engineering has enormous potential, and that Japanese culture and science will be the leading factors to its growth.
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/03/partner-content-origami-gets-second-life/

'''Edits:'''

<br> The Future of Origami
<br> Ichiro Hagiwara, a pioneer in origami engineering at Meiji University, has been working on creating '''interesting''' and '''effective''' origami designs for consumers to use.***
    My only critique here is to find synonyms for 'interesting' and 'effective'. Either both words or just one. Both these words are often overused in writing. I suggest using 'exciting' instead of 'interesting'. 
''Ichiro Hagiwara, a pioneer in origami engineering at Meiji University, has been working on creating exciting and effective origami designs for consumers to use.''

<br> Using origami printing technology, he experiments on different origami designs for several different purposes.
<br> '''A few examples''' of his success is a safety helmet made with origami that '''are''' effective, as they are shock absorbent and foldable.***
     Here the plural 'are' doesn't agree with the singular 'safety helmet' as well as the second 'are' before 'shock'. Must either change 'are' to 'is' or change 'safety helmet' to a plural (safety helmets). Let's change 'A few examples' to "One example' because in this sentence only one example is given.
''One example of his success is a safety helmet made with origami that is effective, as it is shock absorbent and foldable.''

<br> He was also a part of a project that created water bottles using origami, which were foldable and more useful than '''regular plastic bottle.'''***
     Just missing a 's' on the last 'bottle'. Or, add an 'a' before 'regular'. 
''He was also a part of a project that created water bottles using origami, which were foldable and more useful than regular plastic bottles.''

<br> The main reason why Hagiwara was committed to origami engineering was to bring back a revival of the old Japanese culture of origami by incorporating a modern twist to it.
<br> Hagiwara believes that origami engineering has enormous '''potential,''' and that Japanese culture and science will be the leading factors to its growth.***
     Delete the common after 'potential'. 
''Hagiwara believes that origami engineering has enormous potential and that Japanese culture and science will be the leading factors to its growth.''

     Good job on this one! only minor edits. 


'''Edited Paragraph:'''

<br> The Future of Origami

Ichiro Hagiwara, a pioneer in origami engineering at Meiji University, has been working on creating exciting and effective origami designs for consumers to use. Using origami printing technology, he experiments on different origami designs for several different purposes. One example of his success is a safety helmet made with origami that is effective, as it is shock absorbent and foldable. He was also a part of a project that created water bottles using origami, which were foldable and more useful than regular plastic bottles. The main reason why Hagiwara was committed to origami engineering was to bring back a revival of the old Japanese culture of origami by incorporating a modern twist to it. Hagiwara believes that origami engineering has enormous potential and that Japanese culture and science will be the leading factors to its growth.
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/03/partner-content-origami-gets-second-life/  

Edited by Kira Carson 
 



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<br> Coronavirus and Its Wrath
<br> A novel coronavirus that spawned from Wuhan, China, had already infected many and even killed some.
<br> Some fear the coronavirus, dreading a possible apocalypse, while some scoff at those very people.
<br> They believe that the virus is just as harmless as a simple cold, but is it?
<br> The World Health Organization and scientists concluded that the coronavirus is more dangerous than having an influenza.
<br> Regardless, many have been diagnosed and cured.
<br> Scientists argue on whether this virus will burn out quickly or stay for longer, and theres no telling when it will stop.
<br> The best way to avoid the coronavirus or stop the spread of it is for quarantine (home or hospital.)
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/02/graphic-coronavirus-compares-flu-ebola-other-major-outbreaks/

'''Please write about good news stories and remember to stick to 6 sentences (title, intro sentence, 4 separate fact sentences, then concluding sentence).
-Kira'''

<br> Coronavirus and Its Wrath
<br> A novel coronavirus that spawned from Wuhan, China, had already infected many and even killed some.***
     Replace 'had' with 'has'. The infection is ongoing, not stopped which is implied with the use of 'had'. 
''A novel coronavirus that spawned from Wuhan, China, has already infected many and even killed some.''

<br> Some fear the coronavirus, dreading a possible apocalypse, while some scoff at those very people.
<br> They believe that the virus is just as harmless as a simple cold, but is it?
<br> The World Health Organization and scientists concluded that the coronavirus is more dangerous than having an influenza.***
     Remove 'an' before 'influenza'. Influenza is a specific thing so doesn't need the article but, if you were to use a less specific word like 'sickness' or 'disease' you would need an article. 
''The World Health Organization and scientists concluded that the coronavirus is more dangerous than having influenza.''

<br> Regardless, many have been diagnosed and cured.***
<br> Scientists argue on whether this virus will burn out quickly or stay for longer, and theres no telling when it will stop.***
     There's one too many sentences so, let's combine the above two sentences together. Also, 'and theres no telling when it will stop' contradicts the first part of your sentence ('will burn out quickly') and is a repetition of 'or stay for longer' so, let's remove it. I replaced 'Regardless' with 'Although' to untie if from the sentence before. 
''Although many have been diagnosed and cured, scientists argue on whether this virus will burn out quickly or stay for longer.''

<br> The best way to avoid the coronavirus or stop the spread of it is for quarantine (home or hospital.)***
     'of it is for quarantine' is a bit hard to read. Notice how I add the phrase at the beginning to add flow and connection to the previous sentence. 
What is agreed is that quarantine, whether it be at home or the hospital is the best way to avoid or stop the spread of coronavirus.

  
Edited Paragraph:

<br>Coronavirus and Its Wrath

<br>A novel coronavirus that spawned from Wuhan, China, has already infected many and even killed some. Some fear the coronavirus, dreading a possible apocalypse, while some scoff at those very people. They believe that the virus is just as harmless as a simple cold, but is it? The World Health Organization and scientists concluded that the coronavirus is more dangerous than having influenza. Although many have been diagnosed and cured, scientists argue on whether this virus will burn out quickly or stay for longer. What is agreed is that quarantine, whether it be at home or the hospital is the best way to avoid or stop the spread of coronavirus. 
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/science/2020/02/graphic-coronavirus-compares-flu-ebola-other-major-outbreaks/

Edited by Kira Carson





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<br> A Warm Winter
<br> Throughout many parts of the world, people experienced a much warmer winter on January.
<br> Europe recorded a temperature drop of 0.2 degrees Celsius in 2007, which was a drastic change.
<br> In the U.S, the temperature on January exceeded the record for the warmest temperature from January 2016.
<br> Looking from a historical point of view, one can see that the temperatures drastically increased, and there are many different possible reasons for this.
<br> Because of several factors leading to climate change, the global temperatures are slowly increasing, which could be detrimental to the globe.
<br> Scientists hope that the temperature increase can be reversed some time in the near future and conclude that the temperature cannot be under 2 degrees of warming.
<br> Source: https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/05/weather/record-global-january-2020-temperature-trnd/index.html


<br> A Warm Winter
<br> Throughout many parts of the world, people experienced a much warmer winter on January.***
     Change the preposition 'on' to 'in'.
''Throughout many parts of the world, people experienced a much warmer winter in January.''

<br> Europe recorded a temperature '''drop''' of 0.2 degrees Celsius in 2007, which was a drastic change.***
     Remember to read carefully, 'drop' should be 'rise'. To add some connection and flow I suggest adding a few words to this sentence and the sentence below. Here let's add 'considered' to the end. 
''Europe recorded a temperature rise of 0.2 degrees Celsius in 2007, which was considered a drastic change.''

<br> In the U.S, the temperature on January exceeded the record for the warmest temperature from January 2016.***
     For flow, add 'However' at the beginning. Change 'on January' to 'in January'.
''However, in the U.S, the temperature in January exceeded the record for the warmest temperature from January 2016.''
.
<br> Looking from a historical point of view, one can see that the temperatures drastically increased, and there are many different possible reasons for this.***
    This sentence and the one below are very similar. I suggest using this fact sentence as a chance to be more specific (stating the different possible reasons). 
''Looking from a historical point of view, one can see that the temperatures have drastically increased, which started during industrialization and have continued since.'' 

<br> Because of several factors leading to climate change, the global temperatures are slowly increasing, which could be detrimental to the globe.***
     This sentence is still too similar to above. I suggest having a shorter sentence without your first part. I've removed 'slowly' because now, the rise is actually happening very fast.  
This rise in temperatures could be detrimental to the globe.''  

<br> Scientists hope that the temperature increase can be reversed some time in the near future and conclude that the temperature cannot be '''under 2 degrees''' of warming.***
     Again, read the article carefully. Scientists warn that the temperatures should not increase more than 2 degrees. 'some time' is one word. 
''Scientists hope that the temperature increase can be reversed sometime in the near future and conclude that the temperature cannot rise more than 2 degrees.''


Edited Paragraph:


<br> A Warm Winter

Throughout many parts of the world, people experienced a much warmer winter in January. Europe recorded a temperature rise of 0.2 degrees Celsius in 2007, which was considered a drastic change. However, in the U.S, the temperature in January exceeded the record for the warmest temperature from January 2016. Looking from a historical point of view, one can see that the temperatures have drastically increased, which started during industrialization and have continued since. This rise in temperatures could be detrimental to the globe. Scientists hope that the temperature increase can be reversed sometime in the near future and conclude that the temperature cannot rise more than 2 degrees.
<br> Source: https://www.cnn.com/2020/02/05/weather/record-global-january-2020-temperature-trnd/index.html
 
Edited by Kira Carson





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<br> Neanderthal DNA in Modern Humans
<br> Did you know that you could possess some Neanderthal DNA in you?
<br> From the bones of Neanderthal fossils, scientists had identified the DNA of certain Neanderthals, and found that it matched up with some modern day humans' DNA distinctly.
<br> This was most likely affected by the fact that there was a mass migration of Neanderthals about 60,000 years before the "first" mass migration from West Africa.
<br> Ancestors of humans and those Neanderthals bred and produced a new section of early humans, nearing the modern day human form.
<br> Scientists recently tried a new method of identifying DNA through the use of an IBDMix method.
<br> They were shocked to discover who exactly in the world had a recent ancestor possessing recent Neanderthal blood.
<br> While science is making a headway in finding more about human evolution and ancestry, much more gaps are left unanswered, which will hopefully be filled in the future.
<br> Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/31/science/neanderthal-dna-africa.html?action=click&auth=login-google&module=Well&pgtype=Homepage&section=Science



<br> Neanderthal DNA in Modern Humans
<br> Did you know that you could possess some Neanderthal DNA in you?
<br> From the bones of Neanderthal fossils, scientists '''had''' identified the DNA of certain Neanderthals, and found that it '''matched''' up with some modern day humans' DNA distinctly.***
     I suggest putting this into the present tense since this is a news story. The use of past tense here makes it sounds like you are telling a story that happened a while ago instead of something that is recent. I've bolded where the changes will happen. Remove the comma after 'Neanderthals' and let's move 'distinctly' to before 'matches' this makes it more clear as to what 'distinctly' refers to. 
''From the bones of Neanderthal fossils, scientists have identified the DNA of certain Neanderthals and found that it distinctly matches up with some modern day humans' DNA.''

<br> This was most likely affected by the fact that there was a mass migration of Neanderthals about 60,000 years before the "first" mass migration from West Africa.***
       The use of 'affected' is not correct. 'Caused' would be more accurate. Also, read the article carefully. This fact isn't accurate. The new DNA findings possibly prove that modern humans and Neanderthals bred 60,000 years ago, not 60,000 years before anything specific. This is important because this is 200,000 years earlier than previously thought. This is a main point of the news story. Check out my revision below:
''These findings indicate that some modern humans left Africa about 60,000 years ago, much earlier than previously believed, and bred with Neanderthals.'' 

<br> Ancestors of humans and those Neanderthals bred and produced a new section of early humans, nearing the modern day human form.
<br> Scientists recently tried a new method of identifying DNA through the use of an IBDMix method.***
<br> They were shocked to discover who exactly in the world had a recent ancestor possessing recent Neanderthal blood.***
     You still have too many sentences! We can easily combine these two sentences above into one. Let's be more specific with the last sentence and let the reader know who does have Neanderthal DNA since it's also a main point in the article but has not yet been mentioned. To combine and add flow let's cut down any unnecessary words and information. Notice how I've added some information too. This is to better summarize the news story. If you remember, in the story, the IBMMix is used by another scientist who is sceptical about the findings and instead, it further proves the previous instead of debunking it.  
''Through the use of an IBDMix, a new method to identify DNA, scientist were shocked to discover East Asians and Africans to have far more Neanderthal DNA than previously believed, further proving previous findings of earlier interbreeding.''   

<br> While science is making a headway in finding more about human evolution and ancestry, much more gaps are left unanswered, which will hopefully be filled in the future.***
    Good, 'a headway' should be 'headway'. 
''While science is making headway in finding more about human evolution and ancestry, much more gaps are left unanswered, which will hopefully be filled in the future.''


Edited Paragraph:

<br> Neanderthal DNA in Modern Humans

Did you know that you could possess some Neanderthal DNA in you? From the bones of Neanderthal fossils, scientists have identified the DNA of certain Neanderthals and found that it distinctly matches up with some modern day humans' DNA. These findings indicate that some modern humans left Africa about 60,000 years ago, much earlier than previously believed, and bred with Neanderthals. Ancestors of humans and those Neanderthals bred and produced a new section of early humans, nearing the modern day human form. Through the use of an IBDMix, a new method to identify DNA, scientist were shocked to discover East Asians and Africans to have far more Neanderthal DNA than previously believed, further proving previous findings of earlier interbreeding. While science is making headway in finding more about human evolution and ancestry, much more gaps are left unanswered, which will hopefully be filled in the future.
<br> Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/31/science/neanderthal-dna-africa.html?action=click&auth=login-google&module=Well&pgtype=Homepage&section=Science

Edited by Kira Carson





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<br> Britain Breaking Up With the European Union- and Right Before Valentines Day!
<br> Today on January 31, 2020, Britain announced that they will go through with Brexit and leave the European Union.
<br> At the strike of midnight, it was official.
<br> Many economic and political factors went into this decision, and while some supported it, others didn't.
<br> The debate over Brexit had been going on since 2016 and both sides expressed their thoughts and opinions on whether Britain should break off with the European Union or not.
<br> While many economic trade deals within the European Union may end, many Britons are hopeful as to improving relations with the U.S- economically and politically.
<br> While this is a decision made just today, not everything is officially decided and enforced.
<br> Regardless of the decision, there are many who are still opposed to it, and they have hope that Britain will one day rejoin the European Union.
<br> Until then, the Britons will have to hold on tight and get ready for the rollercoaster of Brexit.
<br> Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/31/world/europe/brexit-britain-leaves-EU.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

<br> Britain Breaking Up With the European Union- and Right Before Valentines Day!***
   Instead of a hyphen, use an em dash (—). This is used to close part of a sentence off and have a strong break (like you have above). To do this on a Mac hold down the Shift and Options and minus key. For a PC, hold down Alt and type 0151. Don't add any spaces between the em dash and the words on each side. 
''Britain Breaking Up With the European Union—and Right Before Valentines Day!''

<br> Today on January 31, 2020, Britain announced that they will go through with Brexit and leave the European Union.
<br> At the strike of midnight, it was official.***
    You have too many sentences again! Let's delete this one. 

<br> Many economic and political factors went into this decision, and while some supported it, others didn't.
<br> The debate over Brexit had been going on since 2016 and both sides expressed their thoughts and opinions on whether Britain should break off with the European Union or not.***
     This is wordy. The tense also adds some awkwardness to read. Change 'had' to 'has' because this debate is still ongoing. Change 'expressed' to 'have expressed' because this matches with the tense change of 'has'. 
''The debate over Brexit has been going on since 2016 and both sides have expressed their thoughts on whether Britain should break off with the European Union or not.''

<br> While many economic trade deals within the European Union may end, many Britons are hopeful as to improving relations with the U.S- economically and politically.***
     I suggest removing 'economically and politically' because the sentence before is long, as is this one. It makes for better flow to have different lengths of sentences and its also not information that is necessarily needed. 
''While many economic trade deals within the European Union may end, many Britons are hopeful as to improving relations with the U.S.''

<br> While this is a decision made just today, not everything is officially decided and enforced.***
     Let's omit this because it will bring your summary to the correct amount of sentences but also because this fact sentence doesn't add anything concrete to your summary. In other words, by getting rid of this sentence your paragraph still makes sense and isn't losing any value. 

<br> Regardless of the decision, there are many who are still opposed to it, and they have hope that Britain will one day rejoin the European Union.***
    'decision' is used a lot. let's use a different word to avoid too much repetition. I suggest 'choice'. It's also a little wordy. Notice how replacing 'and they have hope that' with 'who hope that' makes it easier to read. 
''Regardless of the choice, there are many who are still opposed to it, who hope that Britain will one day rejoin the European Union.''

<br> Until then, the Britons will have to hold on tight and get ready for the rollercoaster of Brexit.
    Good. 

Edited Paragraph:


Britain Breaking Up With the European Union—and Right Before Valentines Day!

<br>Today on January 31, 2020, Britain announced that they will go through with Brexit and leave the European Union. Many economic and political factors went into this decision, and while some supported it, others didn't. The debate over Brexit has been going on since 2016 and both sides have expressed their thoughts on whether Britain should break off with the European Union or not. While many economic trade deals within the European Union may end, many Britons are hopeful as to improving relations with the U.S. Regardless of the choice, there are many who are still opposed to it, hoping that Britain will one day rejoin the European Union. Until then, the Britons will have to hold on tight and get ready for the rollercoaster of Brexit.
<br> Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/31/world/europe/brexit-britain-leaves-EU.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

Edited by Kira Carson




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'''HI Tenzing! Write only about articles with good content'''
Sorry! -Tenzing
<br> An Evil Nurse
<br> Genene Jones, a former Texas nurse, was finally sentenced to life in jail for murdering several babies throughout her career.
<br> Heartbroken, the families demanded her to be punished for her unspeakable acts. 
<br> Jones was out on trial in 1984 and was supposed to jailed for life but an overcrowding in jails released her.
<br> After pleading guilty for killing a 11-month-old boy in 1981, she was also punished for the many other lives she took away.
<br> In 2018, she was jailed again for life because the case was brought up again and the families of the babies demanded for justice.
<br> Source: https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/texas-nurse-sentenced-trnd/index.html


<br> An Evil Nurse
<br> Genene Jones, a former Texas nurse, was finally sentenced to life in jail for murdering several babies throughout her career.
<br> Heartbroken, the families demanded her to be punished for her unspeakable acts.***
     "demanded her to be punished" is in the passive form. Readers typically like hearing the active form more. To fix this change it to "demanded to punish her".
''Heartbroken, the families demanded to punish her for her unspeakable acts.'' 

<br> Jones was out on trial in 1984 and was supposed to jailed for life but an overcrowding in jails released her.***
     This isn't clear and completely accurate. There were plans to release her from jail in 2018 due to overcrowding but this didn't happen because in 2017 she was charged again. Below I have adjusted the sentence to more clearly say that.  Let's say "put on trial" instead of "out on trial" because it's hard for the reader to understand if Jones is free or not free with that phrasing.  
''Jones was put on trial in 1984 and put away for life however there were plans to release her in 2018 due to overcrowding.'' 

<br> After pleading guilty for killing a 11-month-old boy in 1981, she was also punished for the many other lives she took away.***
    Need "a" to be "an" before the age also change "for killing" to "to killing". It reads easier. Read the news story carefully. Jones took a plea deal so she was only actually charged for killing the 11 and the 15-month-old. Let's change the last half of the sentence accordingly. 
''After pleading guilty to killing an 11-month-old boy in 1981, she was also charged in 2017 for killing a 15-month-old.'' 

<br> In 2018, she was jailed again for life because the case was brought up again and the families of the babies demanded for justice.
     Wordy sentence because of the use of a lot of words like again, because, for, of, the, and. Delete the 'for' before 'justice' at the end. This occurred in 2017, not in 2018. Because of the revisions above, I suggest removing the year, it's not necessary. This sentence suggests that Jones got out of jail, which did not happen, so Let's just cut this back into something simple:
''She was put in jail for 99 years, bringing justice to the families who lost their babies.'' 

***Lastly, you are missing a sentence. The above sentence works as a fact sentence. So, I suggest ending how the article ends: by mentioning the 60 babies she's predicted to have killed.
''Due to a large number of children who died on her watch, it's predicted that Jones may be responsible for about 60 infant deaths during her time.'' 

<br> An Evil Nurse
<br> Genene Jones, a former Texas nurse, was finally sentenced to life in jail for murdering several babies throughout her career. Heartbroken, the families demanded to punish her for her unspeakable acts. Jones was put on trial in 1984 and put away for life however there were plans to release her in 2018 due to overcrowding. After pleading guilty to killing an 11-month-old boy in 1981, she was also charged in 2017 for killing a 15-month-old. She was put in jail for 99 years, bringing justice to the families who lost their babies. Due to a large number of children who died on her watch, it's predicted that Jones may be responsible for about 60 infant deaths during her time.
<br> Source: https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/17/us/texas-nurse-sentenced-trnd/index.html 

Edited by Kira Carson

 


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<br> The Whale that Ate Jaws
<br> When thinking of the biggest predator of the oceans, what comes to mind first? Sharks?
<br> Well, orcas whales eat them!
<br> Shark carcasses had been washing up on the beaches of South Africa, and orca whales are the most likely culprits.
<br> Because of the lack of knowledge of the great white sharks and orca whales, scientists are not sure as to which predator is superior.
<br> The main reason orca whales may be targeting sharks are because of their fatty livers, which are always strategically and accurately ripped off of the sharks' bodies.
<br> Scientists are still studying the actions of the orca whales and their motives that concern sharks.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/killer-whales-orcas-eat-great-white-sharks/ 


<br> The Whale that Ate Jaws***
      Although it is fitting, you can not use this title because it is already the title of a documentary which is mentioned in the news story. My example: 
''Are Orca Whales Dominating Sharks?''

<br> When thinking of the biggest predator of the oceans, what comes to mind first? Sharks? 
<br> Well, orcas whales eat them!
<br> Shark carcasses had been washing up on the beaches of South Africa, and orca whales are the most likely culprits.***
    Let's not use " likely culprits" because they use this phrase in the same way in the article. 
''Shark carcasses had been washing up on the beaches of South Africa, and orca whales are the most likely to blame.''

<br> Because of the lack of knowledge of the great white sharks and orca whales, scientists are not sure as to which predator is superior.***
     Delete "the" before "great white sharks". 
''Because of the lack of knowledge of great white sharks and orca whales, scientists are not sure as to which predator is superior.''

<br> The main reason orca whales may be targeting sharks are because of their fatty livers, which are always strategically and accurately ripped off of the sharks' bodies.***
   Change the first "are" to "is". "Is" agrees with the subject (the main reason) which is singular.
''The main reason orca whales may be targeting sharks is because of their fatty livers, which are always strategically and accurately ripped off of the sharks' bodies.''

<br> Scientists are still studying the actions of the orca whales and their motives that concern sharks.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/killer-whales-orcas-eat-great-white-sharks/ ***
    Use "Source:"
Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/killer-whales-orcas-eat-great-white-sharks/ 

     You'll notice you don't have a lot of edits here because you are a good writer and have good grammar. However, there were some missed opportunities with your fact sentences where you could have used them to better summarize important details about the news story. For example, it would have been great to see some information about the South African orcas vs. the California orcas, Port and Starboard, and the reasoning behind the targetting of the livers specifically. Make good use of every sentence to retell the most important information from the original article. 
-Kira


Edited Paragraph:

<br>Are Orca Whales Dominating Sharks?

When thinking of the biggest predator of the oceans, what comes to mind first? Sharks? Well, orcas whales eat them! Shark carcasses had been washing up on the beaches of South Africa, and orca whales are the most likely to blame. Because of the lack of knowledge of great white sharks and orca whales, scientists are not sure as to which predator is superior. The main reason orca whales may be targeting sharks is because of their fatty livers, which are always strategically and accurately ripped off of the sharks' bodies. Scientists are still studying the actions of the orca whales and their motives that concern sharks.
<br>Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/killer-whales-orcas-eat-great-white-sharks/

Edited by Kira Carson




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<br> Sea Animals Say "Cheese!"
<br> Laurent Ballesta, an underwater photographer, had a goal, which was to capture clear and stunning photos of a particular group of fish: the marbled grouper.
<br> Because of their rarity and quick appearance yearly, it was a challenge until Ballesta and his friend Jean-Marc Belin created a diving routine and strategy that allowed for him to stay and dive underwater for as long as 24 hours!
<br> With the help of his team, Ballesta was able to capture many photographs of the marbled groupers, as well as several other species like sharks.
<br> Ballesta's view on the sharks and other potentially dangerous animals are that humans should stay calm, as they only view humans as an obstacle, not an enemy. 
<br> Clearly, he advocates for a better view towards sea animals and wants people to appreciate the beauty, as well as its wonders.
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/proof/2018/04/sharks-groupers-photography-animals/#close


<br> Sea Animals Say "Cheese!"
<br> Laurent Ballesta, an underwater photographer, had a goal, which was to capture clear and stunning photos of a particular group of fish: the marbled grouper.***
     Careful here! Although this is nice to read, clear and is a great opening sentence, it is also very similar to the opening sentence from the article: "Underwater photographer Laurent Ballesta had a mission: To photograph massive schools of marbled grouper...". I would consider this plagiarism since it uses all the same features of the original sentence only mixed around. Think about it from the original author's POV: If you think they would read that sentence and think, "Hey! that sounds a lot like what I wrote?" then you have probably plagiarized. Below I have kept your original vocabulary (clear, stunning photos) and the main points of the sentence (Laurent Ballesta, underwater photographer, marbled grouper) but arranged it in a way that does not mimic the format of the article's opening sentence.  
''Laurent Ballesta, an underwater photographer has taken on the difficult task of capturing clear and stunning photos of the marbled grouper.''  

<br> Because of their rarity and quick appearance yearly, it was a challenge until Ballesta and his friend Jean-Marc Belin created a diving routine and strategy that allowed for him to stay and dive underwater for as long as 24 hours!***
     Great job summarizing here. This is a compound sentence so you need to add a comma after "Ballesta" and before the "and". I would remove the exclamation mark as well. It keeps it more professional. 
''Because of their rarity and quick appearance yearly, it was a challenge until Ballesta, and his friend Jean-Marc Belin created a diving routine and strategy that allowed for him to stay and dive underwater for as long as 24 hours.''

<br> With the help of his team, Ballesta was able to capture many photographs of the marbled groupers, as well as several other species like sharks.***
    Good, however, there are a lot of non-content words (of, the, as, well, like) which makes it a bit wordy. I suggest removing "as well as several" with "and several".
''With the help of his team, Ballesta was able to capture many photographs of the marbled groupers and several other species like sharks.''

*** You are missing a fact sentence here. I suggest maybe using a quote that ties nicely into your fact sentence below: 
 ''He dove without a shark cage saying "it took time to develop the intuition that we would not get bitten".''

<br> Ballesta's view on the sharks and other potentially dangerous animals are that humans should stay calm, as they only view humans as an obstacle, not an enemy.

<br> Clearly, he advocates for a better view towards sea animals and wants people to appreciate the beauty, as well as its wonders.***
    Nice concluding sentence. 

     Another good job! Careful, careful, careful with the plagiarism though. I know it's often accidental and avoiding it comes with practice. 
-Kira


<br> Sea Animals Say "Cheese!"

Laurent Ballesta, an underwater photographer has taken on the difficult task of capturing clear and stunning photos of the marbled grouper. Because of their rarity and quick appearance yearly, it was a challenge until Ballesta, and his friend Jean-Marc Belin created a diving routine and strategy that allowed for him to stay and dive underwater for as long as 24 hours. With the help of his team, Ballesta was able to capture many photographs of the marbled groupers and several other species like sharks. He dove without a shark cage saying "it took time to develop the intuition that we would not get bitten". Ballesta's view on the sharks and other potentially dangerous animals are that humans should stay calm, as they only view humans as an obstacle, not an enemy. Clearly, he advocates for a better view towards sea animals and wants people to appreciate the beauty, as well as its wonders.
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/photography/proof/2018/04/sharks-groupers-photography-animals/#close

Edited by Kira Carson




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<br> Are Killing Animals Fun?
<br> In the Yellowstone National park, grizzly bears get baited into a cage and are woken up with a lip tattoo, an ear tag, and a GPS radio collar attached to them.
<br> Some say that because the population of grizzly bears had increased, the Western states should be free to hold highly regulated hunting seasons for the bear.
<br> There are some critics who disagree, saying that regardless of the bear population increase, the shouldn't be hunted for sport and fun.
<br> Protesters such as Jane Goodall, plan to buy grizzly hunt tickets, so that others would not get it to hurt the animals.
<br> Dan Bjornlie, a carnivore biologist with the Wyoming Game and Fish Department, says “but hunting, as long as it’s maintained within the mortality thresholds, is not a threat.”
<br> However, Bonnie Rice, senior representative of the Sierra Club in the Greater Yellowstone and Northern Rockies Region, claims that since the bears are very slow reproducing creatures, any harm would take a huge toll on the species.
<br> Many debate on whether hunting the bears for sport is justified or not, and the decision seems to be uncertain.
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/can-grizzly-bears-survive-hunting-animals/


<br> Are Killing Animals Fun?***
    My only suggestion here is to change "Animals" to "Grizzlies" since that's the focus of the story. 
''Are Killing Grizzlies Fun?''

<br> In the Yellowstone National park, grizzly bears get baited into a cage and are woken up with a lip tattoo, an ear tag, and a GPS radio collar attached to them.***
   I believe in this context it is okay but, be careful with your list (lip tattoo, an ear tag, and a GPS radio collar). It could be considered plagiarism since it is the same words and order from the article. I do like this as an intro because it sets the scene nicely.
  
<br> Some say that because the population of grizzly bears had increased, the Western states should be free to hold highly regulated hunting seasons for the bear.
<br> There are some critics who disagree, saying that regardless of the bear population increase, the shouldn't be hunted for sport and fun.***
     Probably a typing error: "the shouldn't" should be "they shouldn't". 
''There are some critics who disagree, saying that regardless of the bear population increase, they shouldn't be hunted for sport and fun''.

<br> Protesters such as Jane Goodall, plan to buy grizzly hunt tickets, so that others would not get it to hurt the animals.***
     Let's delete this sentence for two reasons. One is that you have too many sentences and also because this fact is mentioned quickly with a link and not an important piece of the article.
   
<br> Dan Bjornlie, a carnivore biologist with the Wyoming Game and Fish Department, says “but hunting, as long as it’s maintained within the mortality thresholds, is not a threat.”
    Good use of a quote. 

<br> However, Bonnie Rice, senior representative of the Sierra Club in the Greater Yellowstone and Northern Rockies Region, claims that since the bears are very slow reproducing creatures, any harm would take a huge toll on the species.
    Great and proper use of paraphrasing! 

<br> Many debate on whether hunting the bears for sport is justified or not, and the decision seems to be uncertain.
    Good conclusion. 

Overall, another great job. Your sentences are well written and thought through and you have a nice flow. Keep it up! 

Edited Paragraph:

Are Killing Grizzlies Fun?

In the Yellowstone National park, grizzly bears get baited into a cage and are woken up with a lip tattoo, an ear tag, and a GPS radio collar attached to them. Some say that because the population of grizzly bears had increased, the Western states should be free to hold highly regulated hunting seasons for the bear. There are some critics who disagree, saying that regardless of the bear population increase, they shouldn't be hunted for sport and fun. Dan Bjornlie, a carnivore biologist with the Wyoming Game and Fish Department, says “but hunting, as long as it’s maintained within the mortality thresholds, is not a threat. However, Bonnie Rice, senior representative of the Sierra Club in the Greater Yellowstone and Northern Rockies Region, claims that since the bears are very slow reproducing creatures, any harm would take a huge toll on the species. Many debate on whether hunting the bears for sport is justified or not, and the decision seems to be uncertain.
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/can-grizzly-bears-survive-hunting-animals/

Edited by Kira Carson





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<br> Is Plastic Tasty?
<br> With the constant climate change and pollution, it is not surprising that sea animals are dying due to an excess of plastic in the oceans.
<br> What is surprising is that fact that larger animals, such as whales, are getting washed to shore with tons of plastic in their body.
<br> The question is: Why do they consume the plastic in the first place?
<br> Different species of animals have different body structures, which can work in their favor or not.
<br> For example, some animals have a filtration system in their digestive system, disregarding anything that is not their usual diet.
<br> Others, unfortunately, do not, and that could result in their death from plastic consumption.
<br> Even seeing as to how bad that the pollution situation had become, plastic use isn't going away anytime soon, as it is expected to double by the year of 2050.
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/12/whales-eating-plastic-pollution/


<br> Is Plastic Tasty?
<br> With the constant climate change and pollution, it is not surprising that sea animals are dying due to an excess of plastic in the oceans.
<br> What is surprising is that fact that larger animals, such as whales, are getting washed to shore with tons of plastic in their body.***
     "that fact" should be "the fact". 
''What is surprising is the fact that larger animals, such as whales, are getting washed to shore with tons of plastic in their body.''

<br> The question is: Why do they consume the plastic in the first place?
<br> Different species of animals have different body structures, which can work in their favor or not.
<br> For example, some animals have a filtration system in their digestive system, disregarding anything that is not their usual diet.***
<br> Others, unfortunately, do not, and that could result in their death from plastic consumption.***
     Great summarizing. You just have an extra fact sentence so, we need to omit/combine some information here. I think doing this to the above two sentences would be best. I've kept it very similar, combining the sentences with a "however" and shortening that last part.
''For example, some animals have a filtration system in their digestive system, disregarding anything that is not their usual diet, however, others do not, often resulting in death.''
 
<br> Even seeing as to how bad that the pollution situation had become, plastic use isn't going away anytime soon, as it is expected to double by the year of 2050.***
     Good, just delete "of" before 2050. It's not needed when using years. Also, delete "that" in "that the pollution...".
''Even seeing as to how bad the pollution situation had become, plastic use isn't going away anytime soon, as it is expected to double by the year 2050.''

     This was very well done. It's clear you've read the article well and fully understand it going into your writing. Great job. Just remember to try to stick to "good" news and keep to our 6 sentence structure (intro sentence, 4 fact sentences, and a concluding sentence). 

Edited Paragraph:

Is Plastic Tasty?

With the constant climate change and pollution, it is not surprising that sea animals are dying due to an excess of plastic in the oceans. What is surprising is the fact that larger animals, such as whales, are getting washed to shore with tons of plastic in their body. The question is: Why do they consume the plastic in the first place? Different species of animals have different body structures, which can work in their favor or not. For example, some animals have a filtration system in their digestive system, disregarding anything that is not their usual diet, however, others do not, often resulting in death. Even seeing as to how bad the pollution situation had become, plastic use isn't going away anytime soon, as it is expected to double by the year 2050.
<br>Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/12/whales-eating-plastic-pollution/

Edited by Kira Carson





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<br> Saving a Squirrel's Life
<br> Videos of people saving animals in distress through the use of CPR have been revolving around the internet for some time.
<br> One case, in particular, is a man saving a squirrel by lightly pressing on its chest to get the blood flow going normally again.
<br> Though saving animals is admirable, one should take caution in doing so, as it can be dangerous to both the animal and the human.
<br> Not all animals have similar chest structures as humans and doing CPR may potentially kill them or injure them even more.
<br> If one must, they should resort to CPR last and carefully do so.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2018/04/squirrels-animals-cpr-wildlife-rescues/

<br> Saving a Squirrel's Life***
     Good, no edit.
<br> Videos of people saving animals in distress through the use of CPR have been revolving around the internet for some time.***
     No edit.
<br> One case, in particular, is a man saving a squirrel by lightly pressing on its chest to get the blood flow going normally again.***
    "going normally" should be switched around, however, it's still hard to read. I suggest "...flowing again." for easier reading. 
''One case, in particular, is a man saving a squirrel by lightly pressing on its chest to get the blood flowing again.''
     ***You are missing a fact sentence here. I suggest continuing on with the story from the sentence above:
''In the video, the Andean squirrel begins breathing again and then runs off.'' 
<br> Though saving animals is admirable, one should take caution in doing so, as it can be dangerous to both the animal and the human.***
     Good summarizing.
<br> Not all animals have similar chest structures as humans and doing CPR may potentially kill them or injure them even more.***
    Good.
<br> If one must, they should resort to CPR last and carefully do so.***
     Good.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2018/04/squirrels-animals-cpr-wildlife-rescues/***
    Use "Source" instead of "Website"
''Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2018/04/squirrels-animals-cpr-wildlife-rescues/''
     Overall, great job. 

Edited Paragraph:

Saving a Squirrel's Life

Videos of people saving animals in distress through the use of CPR have been revolving around the internet for some time.  One case, in particular, is a man saving a squirrel by lightly pressing on its chest to get the blood flowing again. In the video, the Andean squirrel begins breathing again and then runs off. Though saving animals is admirable, one should take caution in doing so, as it can be dangerous to both the animal and the human. Not all animals have similar chest structures as humans and doing CPR may potentially kill them or injure them even more. If one must, they should resort to CPR last and carefully do so.
<br>Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2018/04/squirrels-animals-cpr-wildlife-rescues/

Edited by Kira Carson





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<br> A Historic Day in American History: The Area 51 Raid
<br> If you know anything about conspiracy theories or are fascinated by the thought of extraterrestrial beings, you probably already knew about the Area 51 Raid.
<br> Rumors of Area 51 having aliens in its clutches have been told for years.
<br> Believe it or not, there is actually history on the suspicions of Area 51, dating back to the 1950s during the Cold War.
<br> Area 51, originally designed as an experimental bombing site, became a military outpost later on throughout history.
<br> Heres why people believe that Area 51 has aliens: Advancements in artillery and planes were too intricate for people to understand, so they believed that those high-tech aircrafts were UFOs.
<br> Ever since then, people have believed that Area 51 had to be linked to aliens, due to several other factors such as people claiming to have seen them or worked in Area 51 with them.
<br> Area 51 still remains a private site in which people are forbidden to enter, so questions still remain on whether aliens exist or not.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/why-two-million-storm-area-51/#close

A Historic Day in American History: The Area 51 Raid***
     Good title, no edit.
If you know anything about conspiracy theories or are fascinated by the thought of extraterrestrial beings, you probably already knew about the Area 51 Raid.***
   A little wordy. To cut down a bit I've edited the ending to "you've probably heard about the Area 51 raid.". Also, 'raid' doesn't need to be capitalized.  
''If you know anything about conspiracy theories or are fascinated by the thought of extraterrestrial beings, you've probably heard about the Area 51 raid.''  

Rumors of Area 51 having aliens in its clutches have been told for years.***
     I really like this sentence but, let's combine it with the one below to keep to our 6 sentence rule. 
Believe it or not, there is actually history on the suspicions of Area 51, dating back to the 1950s during the Cold War.***
     To combine the sentences I suggest removing the 'Believe it or not' and cutting out most of the middle as well:
''Rumors of Area 51 having aliens in its clutches have been told for years, the history dating back to the 1950s during the Cold War.''

Area 51, originally designed as an experimental bombing site, became a military outpost later on throughout history.***
     Good. Replace 'Area 51' with something else to avoid the repetition. 
''The area, originally designed as an experimental bombing site, became a military outpost later on throughout history.''

Heres why people believe that Area 51 has aliens: Advancements in artillery and planes were too intricate for people to understand, so they believed that those high-tech aircrafts were UFOs.***
    Good attempt to summarize a large idea! However, the beginning feels too much like a casual conversation. I suggest changing it to "It's thought that Area 51 has aliens because, the...". Watch your repetition of words. I changed a 'believe' to 'thought'.  
''It's thought that Area 51 has aliens because, the advancements in artillery and planes were too intricate for people to understand, so they believed that those high-tech aircrafts were UFOs.'' 
 
Ever since then, people have believed that Area 51 had to be linked to aliens, due to several other factors such as people claiming to have seen them or worked in Area 51 with them.***
     I've omitted some of the words like 'them' and 'people' and 'aliens' to avoid repetition. Again, good summarizing but for clarity and flow let's change around the thoughts like this:
''Ever since then and due to other factors such as people claiming to have seen extraterrestrials, it's been believed that Area 51 is linked to aliens.'' 

Area 51 still remains a private site in which people are forbidden to enter, so questions still remain on whether aliens exist or not.***
     Good conclusion.

Edited Paragraph:

A Historic Day in American History: The Area 51 Raid

If you know anything about conspiracy theories or are fascinated by the thought of extraterrestrial beings, you've probably heard about the Area 51 raid. Rumors of Area 51 having aliens in its clutches have been told for years, the history dating back to the 1950s during the Cold War. The area, originally designed as an experimental bombing site, became a military outpost later on throughout history. It's thought that Area 51 has aliens because, the advancements in artillery and planes were too intricate for people to understand, so they believed that those high-tech aircrafts were UFOs. Ever since then and due to other factors such as people claiming to have seen extraterrestrials, it's been believed that Area 51 is linked to aliens. Area 51 still remains a private site in which people are forbidden to enter, so questions still remain on whether aliens exist or not.
<br>Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/topics/reference/why-two-million-storm-area-51/#close

Edited by Kira Carson
---





<br> Pictures Worth a Thousand Words
<br> Joel Sartore is a photographer that desired to capture the animal species that one day might go extinct.
<br> When asked about his most memorable photoshoot, he stated that it was the Rabbs’ fringe-limbed tree frog, Ecnomiohyla Rabborum, which died in 2016. 
<br> It was one of the last of its species and Sartore was grateful for being in a position to take its photograph and tell its story to the world. 
<br> Many of the animals that used to be endangered and photographed with the aid of Sartore bounced and are thriving again. 
<br> Such examples consist of the Californian condor, the black-footed ferret, the Mexican grey wolf, the whooping crane, etc. 
<br> Sartore’s purpose is to get the public to care about the extinction disaster while there’s notwithstanding time to save the planet and all that lives there.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/09/editor-joel-sartore-portraits-capture-animals-that-might-be-extinct-in-the-wild/#close





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<br> Spooky Scary Skeletons
<br> Halloween wasn't always celebrated in the U.S.
<br> It can be traced back to the 19th century, but people did not dress up in costumes until the early 20th century.
<br> The costumes started off as mostly classic costumes like witches, mummies, skeletons, etc.
<br> With the rise of pop culture and movies/shows, more ideas for costumes emerged, as kids dressed up as their favorite character.
<br> Later on along the years, a movie called "Halloween" was released, which was a hit with teens and adults.
<br> This caused Halloween to be a holiday in which older people also celebrated, as a means for fun and frights.
<br> Costumes obviously altered and advanced over the years, but the anticipation of the next years' costumes is thrilling.
<br> Website: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/24/us/pop-culture-halloween-costumes.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

Spooky Scary Skeletons***
     No edit. Good use of alliteration.

Halloween wasn't always celebrated in the U.S.***
     Let's combine this sentence with the one below to keep to the correct amount of sentences.
It can be traced back to the 19th century, but people did not dress up in costumes until the early 20th century.***
     Combine this with sentence above. Note how I used 'although' and omitted 'but' to make sure the combined sentences still had flow. 
''Halloween wasn't always celebrated in the U.S. and although it can be traced back to the 19th century, people did not dress up in costumes until the early 20th century.''

The costumes started off as mostly classic costumes like witches, mummies, skeletons, etc.***
     Good. No edit.

With the rise of pop culture and movies/shows, more ideas for costumes emerged, as kids dressed up as their favorite character.***
     My only edit here is to somehow get rid of the slash in 'movies/shows'. It just makes it difficult to read. The comma after emerged is also not needed. I suggest: 
''With the rise of pop culture in movies and television, more ideas for costumes emerged as kids dressed up as their favorite character.''

Later on along the years, a movie called "Halloween" was released, which was a hit with teens and adults.***
     Let's change 'later on along the years' to a phrase shorter or more to the point. The current wording is a little difficult to read. You could use just 'Later on' or 'Soon after' or 'Following this'.
''Soon after, a movie called "Halloween" was released, which was a hit with teens and adults.''

This caused Halloween to be a holiday in which older people also celebrated, as a means for fun and frights.***
     Another good sentence. I enjoy the vocabulary of 'fun and frights' at the end. No edit. 

Costumes obviously altered and advanced over the years, but the anticipation of the next years' costumes is thrilling.***
     Good beginning. Let's adapt the last half of the sentence though. You're on the right track here but, the two separate parts of this sentence don't seem to be quite related (this is similar to what you did with you concluding sentence in "To Dream or Not to Dream"). It ends too abruptly. Notice how my sentence below comes to a more natural ending.
''As costumes have altered and advanced over the years, we now wait in anticipation to see what thrills next years' brings.'' 

     Overall, this article was well summarized. Good paragraph. Good job. 

Edited Paragraph:

Spooky Scary Skeletons

Halloween wasn't always celebrated in the U.S. and although it can be traced back to the 19th century, people did not dress up in costumes until the early 20th century. The costumes started off as mostly classic costumes like witches, mummies, skeletons, etc. With the rise of pop culture in movies and television, more ideas for costumes emerged as kids dressed up as their favorite character. Soon after, a movie called "Halloween" was released, which was a hit with teens and adults. This caused Halloween to be a holiday in which older people also celebrated, as a means for fun and frights. As costumes have altered and advanced over the years, we now wait in anticipation to see what thrills next years' brings.  
<br>Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/24/us/pop-culture-halloween-costumes.html?action=click&module=Top%20Stories&pgtype=Homepage

Edited by Kira Carson



----





<br> To Dream or Not to Dream
<br> Heidi the octopus was captured sleeping by scientists for a PBS documentary.
<br> During her slumber, she was restless. Her muscles constantly moved and her skin constantly changed colors.
<br> Based on her body movements and color changes, scientists believe that she is dreaming about eating a crab.
<br> Because octopus’ brains control their arms, it is likely that a dream is causing the movement of the arms.
<br> These movements and color changes are similar to what humans go through during an R.E.M sleeping stage, further suggesting that octopuses can dream when they go to sleep.
<br> While scientists are still unsure of whether they can or not, it sure is interesting to see this feat and hypothesize.
<br> Website: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/08/science/heidi-octopus-sleeping.html


To Dream or Not to Dream***
     No edit, I like this sentence. It accurately summarizes the point of the original article. 

Heidi the octopus was captured sleeping by scientists for a PBS documentary.***
     The appositive 'the octopus' needs a comma before and after.
''Heidi, the octopus, was captured sleeping by scientist for a PBS documentary.'' 

During her slumber, she was restless.***
     Combine this sentence with the sentence below to keep to 6 sentences. Let's remove 'she was restless' because that is explained in the next part.

Her muscles constantly moved and her skin constantly changed colors.***
     Let's remove one of the 'constantly' to avoid repetition. 
''During her slumber, her muscles moved and her skin constantly changed colors.'' 

Based on her body movements and color changes, scientists believe that she is dreaming about eating a crab.***
     This is specific to one particular instance, not all times while Heidi was dreaming so, to clarify that, let's add something like 'during one observation'.
''During one observation, based on her body movements and color changes, scientist believe she may have been dreaming about eating a crab.'' 

Because octopus’ brains control their arms, it is likely that a dream is causing the movement of the arms.***
     Read the article carefully. The point here is that their brain is actually throughout their body, especially inside the arms. To portray that, let's change 'control their arms' to 'are inside their arms'.
''Because octopus' brains are inside their arms, it is likely that a dream is causing the movement of the arms.''

These movements and color changes are similar to what humans go through during an R.E.M sleeping stage, further suggesting that octopuses can dream when they go to sleep.***
     Good sentence. I just suggest cutting down the words at the end by replacing 'octopuses can dream when they go to sleep' with 'octopuses dream while they sleep.'
''These movements and color changes are similar to what humans go through during and R.E.M sleeping stage, further suggesting that octopuses dream while they sleep.'' 

While scientists are still unsure of whether they can or not, it sure is interesting to see this feat and hypothesize.***
     Not bad but, let's try to keep the same tone you've had. It sounds too casual compared to the rest which sounds very factual. I suggest changing the language from 'can or not' to 'are dreaming or not' and the last half of the sentence to 'this phenomena still continues to amaze.' 
''While scientist are still unsure of whether they are dreaming or not, this phenomena will continue to amaze.'' 

Edited Paragraph:

To Dream or Not to Dream

Heidi, the octopus, was captured sleeping by scientist for a PBS documentary. During her slumber, her muscles moved and her skin constantly changed colors. During one observation, based on her body movements and color changes, scientist believe she may have been dreaming about eating a crab. Because octopus' brains are inside their arms, it is likely that a dream is causing the movement of the arms. These movements and color changes are similar to what humans go through during and R.E.M sleeping stage, further suggesting that octopuses dream while they sleep. While scientist are still unsure of whether they are dreaming or not, this phenomena will continue to amaze.

Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/08/science/heidi-octopus-sleeping.html

Edited by Kira Carson

--





<br> “Turbo” in Real Life?
<br> Neil Riseborough, often known as the "Snail Master,” owns snails that race.
<br> There are requirements that the snails must fulfill to join the race.
<br> The snails cannot be too big, as they would have an advantage over other smaller snails.
<br> Going on for about 45 years, small owners verse their snails against eachother to crown one snail and its owner “Fastest.”
<br> In order to have the fastest snail, Riseborough bred many snail species to get the ultimate fastest snail to compete in the races. 
<br> Although snail races may seem peculiar to many, it is widely celebrated and participated in around the world, with the biggest support from the UK.
<br> These snails may still be slow to humans like us, but they sure are the fastest among their species. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/7/130719-snail-races-escargot-world-championship-england/

<br> '''“Turbo” in Real Life?***'''
     I suggest removing the punctuation around 'Turbo'. The '?' already means that the meaning of 'turbo' is being questioned.
     Although I am going to leave it because I appreciate the creativity, next time I would suggest using 'Snail' somewhere in the headline for more clarity.  
''Turbo in Real Life?''

<br> '''Neil Riseborough, often known as the "Snail Master,” owns snails that race.***'''
     Great, no edit. Makes me intrigued to read on.

<br> '''There are requirements that the snails must fulfill to join the race.***'''
<br> '''The snails cannot be too big, as they would have an advantage over other smaller snails.***'''
     Let's combine the two sentences above to keep to our 6 sentence rule. This can be done using a conjoining phrase like 'such as'.
''There are requirements that the snails must fulfil to join the race, such as not being too big, as they would have an advantage over other smaller snails.'' 

<br> '''Going on for about 45 years, small owners verse their snails against eachother to crown one snail and its owner “Fastest.”***'''
     Omit 'Going on' for fluidity. Watch your typing, 'eachother' should be two words. Again, watch your typing: change 'small owners' to 'snail owners'. Now, the next use of 'snail' is repetitious so, let's use a new word instead like, critters. Let's omit 'and its owner'. I know what you are saying here but, its not necessary and technically it's just the snail that is "fastest". 
''For about 45 years, snail owners verse their critters against each other to crown one snail "Fastest".'' 

<br> '''In order to have the fastest snail, Riseborough bred many snail species to get the ultimate fastest snail to compete in the races.***'''
     'In order to have' is wordy. Change to 'To find'. The word "fastest' is used a few times so let's use something else at the beginning. I suggest 'best snail' instead. Again, to avoid repetition lets omit the 'snail' from 'snail species'. The reader by now, is aware that you are talking about snails so, it's not necessary. 'Ultimate fastest' is a bit difficult to say. Try just 'ultimate snail'. 
''To find the best snail, Riseborough bred many species to get the ultimate snail to compete in the races.''
 
<br> '''Although snail races may seem peculiar to many, it is widely celebrated and participated in around the world, with the biggest support from the UK.***'''
     This is a good sentence! I suggest just changing 'the biggest support from the UK' to 'the UK being the biggest supporter'.
''Although snail races may seem peculiar to many, it is widely celebrated and participated in around the world, with the UK being the biggest supporter.'' 

<br> '''These snails may still be slow to humans like us, but they sure are the fastest among their species.***'''
     The meaning here is okay, but this tone doesn't match the tone to the rest of your summary. The use of 'humans like us' and 'sure are the fastest' is too casual.
''Although these snails seem slow to us, among themselves they are the fastest of their kind.'' 

Edited Summary:

Turbo in Real Life?

Neil Riseborough, often known as the "Snail Master,” owns snails that race. There are requirements that the snails must fulfil to join the race, such as not being too big, as they would have an advantage over other smaller snails. For about 45 years, snail owners verse their critters against each other to crown one snail "Fastest". To find the best snail, Riseborough bred many species to get the ultimate snail to compete in the races. Although snail races may seem peculiar to many, it is widely celebrated and participated in around the world, with the UK being the biggest supporter. Although these snails seem slow to us, among themselves they are the fastest of their kind.
<br>Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/7/130719-snail-races-escargot-world-championship-england/

Edited by Kira Carson



----





Yellowstone National Park Helps Animal Migration Across America
<br>Yellowstone park made a new movement to help the animals migrate by removing some of the barriers humans have thrown up over recent decades.***
     -good topic sentence
    -change 'made' in the beginning to 'has made' and 'the animals' to 'animals';
Yellowstone park has made a new movement to help animals migrate by removing some of the barriers humans have thrown up over recent decades.

The Greater Yellowstone Ecosystem, a roughly 18 million acre sized-space, has thousands of elk, pronghorn antelope, and mule deer that must migrate across Yellowstone’s harsh landscape to reproduce and thrive.***
     -good sentence but, we have already used "Yellowstone" in the headline and topic sentence so let's remove it;
This Ecosystem, a roughly 18 million acre sized-space, has thousands of elk, pronghorn antelope, and mule deer that must migrate across the harsh landscape to reproduce and thrive.

The migration makes the Pronghorn antelope jump over a creek, even though they don’t usually jump.***
     -'Pronghorn' doesn't need to be capitalized
     -'even though they don't usually jump' sounds too casual for a news summary. Let's rephrase to 'even though this species isn't know to jump';
The migration makes the pronghorn antelope jump over a creek, even though this species isn't know to jump.

To add on, the Elk migrate over an 11,000 foot mountain pass in the Absaroka Mountains on their way towards Yellowstone National Park in the late spring time.*** 
     -'Elk' is not capitalized. Animal species do not need to be capitalized. 
     -Replace 'To add on' with 'In addition' for better flow.
     -This sentence has a lot of information so, let's remove anything that isn't needed. Remove 'in the Absaroka Mountains' and shorten 'late spring time' to 'late spring';
In addition, the elk migrate over an 11,000 foot mountain pass on their way towards Yellowstone National Park in the late spring.

Other than that, many problems other than the migration itself occurred; a Pronghorn got its leg caught in a barbed-wire fence.***
     -Repetition with the words 'other than'. Let's remove one or rephrase. 
     -Not necessary to have a semicolon. Make one sentence for better flow;
Aside from the migrations, other problems have occurred like a pronghorn getting its leg caught in a barbed-wire fence. 

Because of that, many fences have since been removed  thanks to a nascent movement to preserve migratory corridors.***
     -This sentence feels like it should be a fact sentence and not necessarily the concluding sentence. Since you haven't included the source I can't read the original article to verify this. Please include the source. 
     -Watch your typing. There is an extra space between 'removed' and 'thanks'.
     -Don't forget to include the source

Edited Paragraph:

Yellowstone National Park Helps Animal Migration Across America

Yellowstone park has made a new movement to help animals migrate by removing some of the barriers humans have thrown up over recent decades. This ecosystem, a roughly 18 million acre sized-space, has thousands of elk, pronghorn antelope, and mule deer that must migrate across the harsh landscape to reproduce and thrive. The migration makes the pronghorn antelope jump over a creek, even though this species isn't know to jump. In addition, the elk migrate over an 11,000 foot mountain pass on their way towards Yellowstone National Park in the late spring. Aside from the migrations, other problems have occurred like a pronghorn getting its leg caught in a barbed-wire fence. Because of that, many fences have since been removed thanks to a nascent movement to preserve migratory corridors.

Edited by Kira Carson



----





<br> The Story of One Elephant
<br>Gluay Hom, an elephant in Thailand who had gone through many hardships, is finally freed. He had been living at a zoo outside of Bangkok, clearly mistreated with his feet chained, resulting in his swollen leg and wound at his temple. Seeing his pain and struggling, National Geographic worked on trying to save the elephant. By making a change.org petition, many signed against to save him. After negotiating with Gluay’s owner, he was finally set free at the Elephant Nature Park, an area for elephants made by the Save Elephants organization. In his new home, he was treated of his ailments and is treat undergoing treatment to recover his muscle tissues. Although he is still traumatized from his previous owners, he is now under great care and is thriving.

***Resubmit with proper line breaks and source included



----





<br> New species of pygmy seahorse.
<br> In the boulder-strewn coasts of Japan, researchers have discovered tiny seahorses that are the size of a grain of rice.
<br> These creatures camouflage with the algae-covered rocks and at first glance look they look like floating debris in the water.
<br> Scientists have named the seahorse Hippocampus japapigu, Latin for “Japan pig”.
<br> Graham Short, an ichthyologist at the California Academy of Sciences says that it is “because to the locals, it resembles a tiny baby pig”.
<br> Although they are tiny and hard to find because of their appearance, they are not rare.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/tiny-pygmy-seahorse-discovered-japan-news/

<br> New species of pygmy seahorse.
*** get more creative naming this title.
<br> In the ***boulder-strewn coasts of Japan***, researchers have discovered tiny seahorses that are the size of a grain of rice.
*** boulder-strewn waters off Japan's coast
<br> These creatures camouflage with the algae-covered rocks and at first glance ***look*** they look like ***floating debris in the water***.
*** Check the article and use a quote to describe what they look like instead of choosing another noun to describe them.
<br> Scientists have named the seahorse 'Hippocampus japapigu', Latin for “Japan pig”.
*** be careful using phrasing so similar to the original text. 
<br> Graham Short, an ichthyologist at the California Academy of Sciences says that it is “because to the locals, it resembles a tiny baby pig”.
<br> Although they are tiny and hard to find ***because of their appearance***, they are not rare.
*** remove
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/tiny-pygmy-seahorse-discovered-japan-news/
*** 'Source' not Website

<b> New species of pygmy seahorse.
<br>In the boulder-strewn waters off Japan's coast, researchers have discovered tiny seahorses that are the size of a grain of rice. These creatures camouflage with the algae-covered rocks and at first glance they look like "floating seaweed" in the water. Its been named by scientists 'Hippocampus japapigu', Latin for "Japan pig". Graham Short, an ichthyologist  at the California Academy of Sciences says that it is "because to the locals, it resembles a tiny baby pig". Although they are tiny and hard to find, they are not rare. 
<br>Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/tiny-pygmy-seahorse-discovered-japan-news/


----





<br> The Poaching Problem
<br> Legal international trade for lion skeletons.
<br> Although the poaching of lions is illegal, South Africa has made the export of skeletons from captive facilities where lions are bred and raised legal.
<br> Lions are already an endangered species so the demand for lion body parts such as, teeth, bones, and claws do not help them.
<br> There are multiple reports on the horrible conditions made by the businesses that sell lion parts.
<br> The businesses also allow customers to pay for the opportunity to kill the lions in which calling it “canned hunting”.
<br> About 8,000 lions live in lion farms and only about 1,300 and 1,700 adult lions remain in the wild.
<br> These terrible businesses shouldn’t be able to continue to sell lion parts because even if lion poaching is illegal, this is basically also killing off the lions into extinction.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/lion-bone-export-south-africa-wildlife-trafficking-news/

<br> The Poaching Problem
<br> Lions are already an endangered species***,*** so the demand for *lion* ''THEIR'' body parts'','' such as ***,*** (remove) teeth, bones, and claws'','' do not help ***them*** ''replace with THE SITUATION''.
<br> There are multiple reports on the horrible  *** conditions made*** ''practices of'' the businesses that sell ***lion*** ''lions''' parts.
<br> ***The businesses*** 'They' ***also*** (remove) allow customers to pay for the opportunity to kill the lions'','' ***in which*** (remove) calling it “canned hunting”.
<br> About 8,000 lions live ***in lion*** ''on'' farms'','' and only ***about*** 1,300 ***and*** ''to'' 1,700 adult lions remain in the wild.
<br> These terrible businesses shouldn’t be able to continue to ***sell lion parts*** ''making profits off lions'' because even if ***lion*** (remove) poaching is illegal, ***this*** (italicize to add emphasis) is ***basically*** (avoid adverbs) ***also*** (remove) killing off the lions into extinction.
<br> ***Website*** ''Source'': https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/lion-bone-export-south-africa-wildlife-trafficking-news/

<br> The Poaching Problem
<br>Lions are already an endangered species, so the demand for their body parts, such as teeth, bones, and claws, do not help the situation. There are multiple reports on the horrible practices of the businesses that sell lions' parts. They allow customers to pay for the opportunity to kill the lions, calling it "canned hunting". About 8,00 lions lives on farms, and only 1,300 to 11,700 adult lions remain in the wild. These terrible businesses shouldn't be able to continue making profit off lions' because even if poaching is illegal, ''this' is killing off the lions into extinction. 
<br>Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/lion-bone-export-south-africa-wildlife-trafficking-news/

----





<br> Why Are Dogs So Friendly?
<br> Dogs are more sociable than their wild cousins, the wolves.
<br> They pay more attention to humans and following our directions and commands more effectively.
<br> Von Holdt, a evolutionary biologist, provided the clue that hyperdogs like Marla carry variants of two genes called GTF2I and GTF2IRD1.
<br> If these genes get deleted, Williams syndrome, which is characterized by elfin facial features, cognitive difficulties, and a tendency to love everyone.
<br> Overall, understanding our best friends is basically how domestic dogs are more respondent to us humans.
<br> Website: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/07/dogs-breeds-pets-wolves


<br> Why Are Dogs So Friendly?
<br> Dogs are more sociable than their wild cousins, the wolves.
<br> ***For example,*** They pay more attention to humans and ***following*** 'follow' our directions ***and commands*** 'remove' more effectively. 
<br> Von Holdt, a''n'' evolutionary biologist, ***provided the clue*** ''uncovered'' that hyper''social''dogs like Marla carry variants of two genes called GTF2I and GTF2IRD1.
***^this sentence is mostly plagiarized; please reword.***
<br> If these genes get deleted ''in people'', Williams syndrome ''is caused'', which is characterized by elfin facial features, cognitive difficulties, and a tendency to love everyone.
***^ How relevant is this passage? The article is about dogs. Consider switching it out for information from elsewhere in the article.
<br> Overall, understanding our best friends is basically how domestic dogs are more respondent to us humans.
***^ This sentence makes no sense. Consider rewording or choosing a different conclusion.
<br> ***Website*** ''Source'': https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/07/dogs-breeds-pets-wolves

<br> Why Are Dogs So Friendly?
<br> Dogs are more social than their wild cousins, the wolves. For example, they pay more attention to humans and follow our directions more effectively. Von Holdt, an evolutionary biologist, uncovered that hyper social dogs, such as one named Marla, have two variants of genes called GTF21 and GTF21RD1. If these genes get deleted in people, Williams Syndrome is caused, which is characterized by elfin facial features, cognitive difficulties, and a tendency to love everyone.   



----





<br> Pet-fox DNA tells us a lot about dogs and humans.
<br> In 1959, a man named Dmitri Belyaev started a experiment on how dog’s get trained and domesticated.
<br> So, for almost sixty years Russian scientists have been breeding pet-foxes to be tame or aggressive.
<br> Biologists believed that domestic dogs were descended from wolves, however they didn’t know how all the anatomical, physiological, and behavioral differences between the two animals could arise.
<br> Belyaev had believed that breeding the friendliest foxes together would perhaps become domesticated.
<br> His idea was correct and he got the most fearless tame foxes that are similar to how dogs interact with humans.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/fox-dogs-wild-tame-genetics-study-news/

<br> Pet-fox DNA tells us a lot about dogs and humans.
***Try to think of a more creative title
<br> In 1959, a man named Dmitri Belyaev started a'n' experiment on how ***dog’s*** get trained and domesticated.
***dogs
<br> So, for almost sixty years Russian scientists have been breeding pet-foxes to be tame or aggressive.
<br> Biologists believed that domestic dogs were descended from wolves, however***,*** they didn’t know how all the anatomical, physiological, and behavioral differences between the two animals could arise.
<br> Belyaev had believed that breeding the friendliest foxes together would perhaps ***become domesticated***.
*** domesticate them
<br> His idea was correct and he ***got the most fearless tame foxes that are*** similar to how dogs interact with humans.
*** ended up taming the most fearless foxes to perform
<br> ***Website***: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/fox-dogs-wild-tame-genetics-study-news/
***Source*** 

<br>Pet-fox DNA tells us a lot about dogs and humans. 
<br>In 1959, a man named Dmitri Belyaev started an experiment on how dogs get trained and domesticted. So, for almost sixty years Russian scientists have been breeding pet-foxes to be tame or aggressive. Biologists believed that domestic dogs were descended from wolves, however, they didn't know how all the anatomical, physiological, and behavioral differences between the two animals could arise. Belyaev had believe that breeding the friendliest foxes together would perhaps domesticate them. His idea was correct and he ended up taming the most fearless foxes to perform similar to dogs interact with humans. 
<br> Source: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/fox-dogs-wild-tame-genetics-study-news/

----

<br> Insect Art
<br> Raku Inoue, and artist and photography from Montreal, creates and showcases portraits of insects and other animals made from flowers, leaves, twigs, seeds, and stems.
<br> Inoue usually makes his art without glue, but for complex ones, he’ll use glue and tape to secure the portraits.
<br> Growing up in Japan, insects had always been symbolic to Inoue, as he and his grandmother would enjoy their presence.
<br> Whatever inspires him, he creates.
<br> Many would occasionally try to challenge him by sending him twigs and flowers, which he always transforms into art.
<br> Inoue continues to artistically create portraits of insects, along with other animals.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/08/this-artist-makes-colorful-insects-out-of-plants/

<br> Insect Art
<br> Raku Inoue, ***and*** artist***and photography*** from Montreal, creates and showcases ***portraits of insects and other animals made from flowers, leaves, twigs, seeds, and stems***.
***an
***change to 'artist-photographer'
***Put in quotations or don't use exact verbiage from the source article
<br> Inoue usually makes his art without glue, but for ***complex*** ones, he’ll use ***glue and tape*** to secure the portraits.
*** use a synonym
*** use 'adhesives'
<br> Growing up in Japan, insects ***had*** always been symbolic to Inoue, as he and his grandmother would enjoy their presence.
*** have
<br> Whatever inspires him, he creates.
<br> Many ***people would*** occasionally try to challenge him by sending him twigs and flowers, which he always transforms into art.
***change to 'will'
<br> Inoue continues to ***artistically*** create portraits of insects, along with other animals.
*** useless adverb
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/08/this-artist-makes-colorful-insects-out-of-plants/

<br> Insect art
<br> Raku Inoue, an artist-photographer from Montreal, creates and showcases "portraits of insects and other animals made from flowers, leaves,  twigs, seeds, and stems". Inoue usually makes his art without glue, but for intricate ones, he'll use adhesives to secure the portraits. Growing up in Japan, insects have always been symbolic to Inoue, as he and his grandmother would enjoy their presence. Many people will occasionally occasionally try to challenge him by sending him twigs and flowers, which he always transforms into art. Inoue continues to create portraits of insects, along with other animals. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/08/this-artist-makes-colorful-insects-out-of-plants/






----





<br> Endangered for Boots
<br> Pangolins, the world’s only scaled mammal, are one of the world’s most trafficked mammal.
<br> Poachers target the pangolins for a number of reasons, such as for their features.
<br> Even the United States imports pangolin skins, which were used to make exotic leather cowboy boots, hats, etc.
<br> Because the numbers of pangolins were drastically decreasing, all of the pangolin species have been banned from any trade internationally.
<br> However, many importers replaced trading pangolins with arapaima, an Amazonian fish which are also endangered.
<br> Although this conflict has not yet been resolved, advocators and environmentalists are working on education the traders and public on why the species should not be poached.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/pangolin-poaching-leather-boots/

<br> Endangered for Boots
<br> Pangolins, the world’s only scaled mammal, are one of the world’s most trafficked mammal***
*** Rephrase: Pangolins, who are the world's only scaled mammals, are also one of the most trafficked.
<br> Poachers target ***the pangolins*** for a number of reasons, such as ***for*** their features.
*** them
*** remove
<br> Even the United States imports pangolin skins, which ***were*** used to make exotic leather cowboy boots, hats, ***etc.***
*** use present tense
*** and so on
*** Combine sentence with previous one. 
<br> Because the numbers of pangolins were drastically decreasing, ***all of the pangolin species have been banned from any trade internationally***.
***reword
<br> However, many importers replaced trading pangolins with arapaima, an Amazonian fish which ***are also endangered.***
*use present tense
***combine sentence with previous one
<br> Although this conflict has not yet been resolved, advocators and environmentalists are working on ***education*** the traders and public on why the species should ***not be poached.***
*** educating
***use 'preserved' 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/pangolin-poaching-leather-boots/

<br> Endangered for Boots
<br> Pangolins, who are the world's only scaled mammals, are also one of the most trafficked. Poachers target them for a number of reasons, such as their skins, which are imported to the United States and used to make exotic leather cowboy boots, hats, and so on. Because the numbers the numbers of pangolins were drastically decreasing, all trade of the pangolin species has been banned internationally, but many importers replaced them with arapaima, an Amazonian fish which is also endangered. Although this conflict has not yet been resolved, advocators and environmentalists are working on educating the traders and public on why the species should be preserved. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/pangolin-poaching-leather-boots/




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<br> The Search for the Lost
<br> Robert Ballard, the man who found the Titanic, is planning to search for Amelia Earhart’s airplane.
<br> Who is Amelia Earhart?
<br> She was the first woman to ever fly an airplane.
<br> During an attempt to be the first person to cross the Atlantic Ocean, she and her navigator Fred Noonan went missing, along with their airplane.
<br> Ever since they went missing, people have been searching for them.
<br> However, after a while, the U.S government enlisted them as dead from a plane crash.
<br> Ballard's plans to search for the airplane by doing more than 150 deep-sea expeditions, and deploying a number of advanced vehicles that have the ability to dive get deep underwater.
<br> Plans to do this continue to linger on, but the public anticipates whether their questions will receive any answers.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/07/bob-ballard-found-titanic-can-find-amelia-earhart-airplane/

<br> The Search for the Lost
<br> Robert Ballard, the man who found the *** Titanic, is planning to search for Amelia Earhart’s airplane.
***add: 'sunken'
<br> Who is Amelia Earhart?***
***remove sentence 
<br> She was the first woman to ever fly an airplane.***
<br> During an attempt to be the first person to cross the Atlantic Ocean***, she and her navigator Fred Noonan went missing, along with their airplane.***
*** add when the flight happened
*** Combine these sentences
<br> Ever since they went missing, people have been searching for them.
<br> However, after a while, the U.S government enlisted them as dead from a plane crash.***
*** Remove 
<br> Ballard***'s plans to search for the airplane by doing more than 150 deep-sea expeditions, and deploying a number of ***advanced vehicles that have the ability to dive get deep underwater.***
*** remove 's
*** shorten to 'advanced diving vehicles' 
<br> Plans to do this continue to linger on, but the public anticipates whether their questions will receive any answers.
*** Remove
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/07/bob-ballard-found-titanic-can-find-amelia-earhart-airplane/

<br> The Search for the Lost
<br> Robert Ballard, the man who found the sunken Titanic, is planning to search for Amelia Earhart's airplane. She was the first woman to ever fly in one, but during an attempt to be the first person to cross the Atlantic Ocean in 1937, she and her navigator Fred Noonan went missing, along with their airplane. Ever since they went missing, people have been searching for them. Ballard plans to search for the airplane by doing more than 150 deep-sea expeditions, and deploying a number of advanced diving vehicles. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/07/bob-ballard-found-titanic-can-find-amelia-earhart-airplane/





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<br> Pretty Amazing Mice
<br> The yellow-rumped leaf-eared mouse is a species that lives in the foothills and mountains of the Andes, as well as places below sea level sea level.
<br> This makes them the world's highest-dwelling mammal, since they have the ability to live in high elevations that not many other mammals could survive in.
<br> In several high elevated mountains and places in the world, scientists continuously find mice.
<br> When collecting DNA sample from the rodents’ holes, they discovered that it was, in fact, the yellow-rumped leaf-eared mouse.
<br> Scientists were shocked at this because they couldn’t understand how they could somehow survive in soil whose temperature could swing variously in a single day.
<br> The capabilities of this mouse can advance humans in understanding how animals adapt and work with their given environment.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/highest-dwelling-mammal-mouse-volcano/

<br> Pretty Amazing Mice
<br> The yellow-rumped leaf-eared mouse is a species that lives in the foothills and mountains of the Andes, as well as places below sea level sea level.***
***Reword to avoid plagiarism 
<br> This makes them the world's highest-dwelling mammal, since they have the ability to live ***in high elevations that*** not many other mammals could survive 
*** change to: at elevations 
***remove word
<br> In several ***high elevated ***mountains and*** places ***in the world, scientists continuously find mice.
*** change to: highly
*** remove
*** change to: around
<br> When collecting DNA sample*** from the rodents’ holes, they discovered that it was, in fact, the yellow-rumped leaf-eared mouse.***
*** plural version of the word sample
*** combine with previous sentence
<br> Scientists were shocked at this because they couldn’t understand how they could somehow survive in soil whose temperature could swing variously in a single day.
<br> The capabilities of this mouse can advance humans in understanding how animals adapt and work with their given environment.*** 
***combine with previous sentences
*** also, shorten: change 'humans in understanding' to 'humans' understanding'. change 'adapt and work' to 'adapt'. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/highest-dwelling-mammal-mouse-volcano/

<br> Pretty Amazing Mice
<br> The yellow-rumped leaf-eared mouse is a species that lives not only on the Andes Mountains, but also below sea levels. This makes them the world's highest-dwelling mammal, since they have the ability to live at elevations not many other mammals could survive. In several highly elevated places around the world, scientists continuously find mice, and when collecting DNA samples from the rodents' holes, they discover that it is, in fact, the yellow-rumped leaf-eared mouse. Scientists were shocked at this because they couldn't understand how they could survive in soil whose temperature could swing variously in a single day, but studying this mouse can advance humans' understanding of how animals adapt to their given environment. 
Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/highest-dwelling-mammal-mouse-volcano/





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<br> Bones Tell All
<br> Scientists have found that based on the chemistry makeup of some ancient bone samples, they can discover a lot about the skeleton.
<br> This is called stable isotope analysis, which is the study of the differences of elements in archeology.
<br> Stable isotope analysis looks at isotopes, which can give scientists information on the climate, diet, and origins of the skeleton and other bones.
<br> For example, a skeleton may not look similar to other skeletons of the area because they could’ve had a different diet, which informs the scientists on he kind of lifestyle they once lived.
<br> Therefore, based on the chemical makeup of the bones, scientists can now know everything from the diets of the once living to mass movements.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/archaeology/how-bones-record-where-grew-up-ate/

<br> Bones Tell All
<br> Scientists have found that based on the ***chemistry*** makeup of some ancient bone samples, they can discover a lot about ***the skeleton***.
*** change to: chemical
*** change to: who they belonged to
<br> This is called stable isotope analysis, which is the study of the differences of elements ***in*** ***archeology***.
*** change to: within
*** spelling: archaeology
<br> Stable isotope analysis looks at isotopes, ***which can give*** scientists information on the climate, diet, and origins of the ***skeleton and other bones***.
*** change to: giving
*** change to: deceased human
<br> For example, a skeleton may not look similar to other skeletons of the area because they could’ve had a different diet, which informs the scientists on he kind of lifestyle they once lived.***
*** Remove sentence
<br> Therefore, based on the chemical makeup of the bones, scientists can now know everything from the diets of the once living to ***mass movements***.
*** put this sentence before ''of the once living''
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/archaeology/how-bones-record-where-grew-up-ate/

<br> Bones Tell All
<br> Scientists have found hat based on the chemical makeup of some ancient bone samples, they can discover a lot about who they belonged to. This is called stable isotope analysis, which is the study of the differences of elements within archaeology. Stable isotope analysis looks at isotopes, giving scientists information on the climate, diet, and origins of the deceased human. Therefore, based on the chemical makeup of the bones, scientists can now know everything from the diets to mass movements of the once living. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/archaeology/how-bones-record-where-grew-up-ate/ 



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<br> How A.I Can Save the Planet
<br> As you may have already known, the planet is facing a major conflict, which is climate change.
<br> Along with the several other possible solutions, A.I could also help in subsiding the problem.
<br> With the technological advances of A.I, we can discover insights from complex climate simulations made by the field of climate modeling.
<br> The better the predictions, the better people will be to prepare for the change, and possibly discover ways that could subside to stop some effects of climate change.
<br> Because people do not believe that climate change is real, producers of A.I are creating simulations on how homes and lives would change with the effects of climate change, such as floodings it heat waves.
<br> Although the contributions of A.I may be minuscule compared to many other methods, it may be the thing that tips people into trying to reverse the odds and saving the planet against climate change.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/artificial-intelligence-climate-change/

<br> How A.I***.*** Can Save the Planet
*** use a period to end this acronym 
<br> As you may have already known, the planet is facing a major conflict***,which is*** climate change.
*** replace comma with colon and remove ''which is''
<br> Along with the several other possible solutions, A.I could also help ***in subsiding the problem***.
*** change to: mitigate global warming. 
<br> With the technological advances of A.I, we can discover insights from complex ***climate*** simulations made ***by the field of*** climate modeling.
*** remove ''climate''
*** change 'by the field of' to 'with' 
<br> The ***better*** the predictions, the better people will be ***to prepare*** for the change, and possibly discover ways that could subside ***to stop*** some ***effects of climate change***.
*** change to ''more accurate''
*** change to ''prepared''
*** remove ''to stop''
*** change to ''of climate change's effects''
<br> Because people do not believe that climate change is real, producers of A.I are creating simulations on how homes and lives would change with the effects of climate change, such as floodings it heat waves.***
*** remove sentence 
<br> Although the contributions of A.I may be minuscule compared to many other methods, it may be the thing that tips people into trying to reverse the odds and saving the planet against climate change.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/artificial-intelligence-climate-change/

<br> How A.I. Can Save The Planet
<br> As you may have already known, the planet is facing a major conflict: climate change. Along with several other possible solutions, A.I. could also help mitigate global warming. With the technological advances of A.I., we can discover insights from complex simulations made with climate modeling. The more accurate the predictions, the better people will be prepared for the change, and possibly discover ways that could subside some of climate change's effects. Although the contributions of A.I. may be minuscule compared to many other methods, it may be the thing that tips people into trying to reverse the odds and saving the planet against climate change.  
<br>  Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/artificial-intelligence-climate-change/
----





<br> Heated Plastic Bottles
<br> As the weather gets more and more warmer, many will buy and drink from plastic water bottles that have been possibly left out in the sun for long periods of time.
<br> However, as time and heat continues to increase, the chemical bonds in the plastic bottle breaks down, releasing chemicals in the water.
<br> Although a single water bottle won’t do much to hurt your system, the long term effects could be devastating.
<br> How can avoid this?
<br> Researchers and scientists encourage people to opt in to metal or glass bottles, as they are harder to melt.
<br> The melting point for plastic is significantly lower than that of glass or metal, proving why those are good alternatives water bottles.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/exposed-to-extreme-heat-plastic-bottles-may-become-unsafe-over-time/

<br> Heated Plastic Bottles
<br> As the weather gets ***more and more warmer***, many will buy and drink from plastic water bottles that have been possibly left out in the sun for ***long periods of time.***
*** warmer and warmer
*** change to: too long
<br> ***However,*** as time and heat continues*** to increase, the chemical bonds in the plastic bottle *** breaks*** down, releasing chemicals in the water.
*** remove word and comma
*** change to: continue
** add: left outside
*** change to: break
<br> Although a single water bottle won’t do much to hurt your system, the ***long term effects*** could be devastating.
*** add something about what precise chemicals are infiltrating the water, and examples of the long term effects which can be gathered from the source article. 
<br> How can avoid this?***
*** remove sentence
<br> Researchers and scientists encourage people to opt in to *** metal or glass bottles, as they are harder to melt.
*** add: buying
<br> The melting point for plastic is significantly lower than that of glass or metal, proving why those are good alternatives water bottles.***
***remove sentence
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/exposed-to-extreme-heat-plastic-bottles-may-become-unsafe-over-time/

<br> Heated Plastic Bottles
<br> As the weather gets warmer and warmer, many will buy and drink from plastic water bottles that have been possibly left out in the sun for too long. As times and heat continue to increase, the chemical bonds in the plastic bottle break down, releasing chemicals in the water. Although a single water bottle won't do much to hurt your system, the long term effects could be devastating. Researchers and scientists encourage people to opt in to buying metal or glass bottles, as they harder to melt. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/exposed-to-extreme-heat-plastic-bottles-may-become-unsafe-over-time/

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<br> Extreme Heat
<br> The U.S could be facing dangerous heat conditions that may be at least 127 degrees Fahrenheit within the next few decades.
<br> Although the heat affects only a few states today, the next few decades could change that all, affecting about 47 states.
<br> Not only does this weather feel uncomfortable, but it also can drastically affect one’s health.
<br> If the body experiences heat above the necessity, a fever may break out.
<br> Extreme heat could also cause cellular machinery to break down, which is extremely dangerous, requiring  immediate medical attention.
<br> Although this can be avoided by reducing the carbon emission in the air, it may not change.
<br> Therefore, it is important to pay attention to our environment and weather, as it could tell us a lot about what the earth will be like in the future.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/extreme-heat-to-affect-millions-of-americans/

<br> Extreme Heat
<br> The U.S could be facing dangerous heat conditions that may be at least 127 degrees Fahrenheit within the next few decades.
<br> Although ***the*** heat affects only a few states today, the ***next few decades*** could change that all, affecting about 47 states.
*** change to: this level of
*** near future
<br> Not only does this weather feel uncomfortable, but it ***also can*** drastically affect one’s health.***
*** reverse word order
*** add: such as causing a fever
<br> If the body experiences heat above the necessity, a fever may break out.*** 
*** remove sentence
<br> Extreme *** heat could also cause cellular machinery to break down, which is extremely dangerous, ***requiring*** immediate medical attention.
*** add: internal 
*** change to: and requires
<br> Although this can be avoided by reducing ***the*** carbon emission*** in the air, ***it*** may not change.
*** remove word
*** add an S to end of word
*** change to: these predictions
<br> Therefore, it is important to pay attention to our environment and weather, as it could tell us a lot about what the earth will be like in the future.***
*** remove sentence
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/extreme-heat-to-affect-millions-of-americans/

<br> Extreme Heat
<br> The U.S. could be facing dangerous heat conditions that may be at least 127 degrees Fahrenheit within the next few decades. Although this level of heat affects only a few states today, the new future could change that all, affecting about 47 states. Not only does this weather feel uncomfortable, but it can also drastically affect one's health, such as causing a fever. Extreme internal heat could also cause cellular machinery to break down, which is extremely dangerous and requires immediate medical attention. Although this can be avoided by reducing carbon emissions in the air, these predictions may not change. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/environment/2019/07/extreme-heat-to-affect-millions-of-americans/

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<br> No Place to call Home
<br> In Bangladesh, there are children of the Rohingyan people who are neither identified as Bangladeshi or Burmese by birth due to neither country taking responsibility for them.
<br> About 736,000 have fled into Bangladesh and are not even recognized as refugees. 
<br> Because of this, they aren’t able to get education and access to public services, all things which should be provided to everyone.
<br> 30,000 children from the half million are under the age of one, meaning that they will have to face the conflict of having nothing to identify as.
<br> If this conflict continues to linger, those kids would most likely not have access to formal education and/or job opportunities.
<br> Website:  https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2018/12/see-rohingya-babies-born-without-home/

<br> No Place to ***call Home
*** call
<br> In Bangladesh, ***there are*** children of the Rohingyan people ***who*** are ***neither*** identified as Bangladeshi ***or*** Burmese ***by*** birth due to neither country taking responsibility for them.
*** remove words
*** remove word
***put word after 'identified'
*** change to: nor
*** change to: at
<br> About 736,000 *** have fled into Bangladesh and are not even recognized as refugees. 
*** add: people
<br> Because of this, they aren’t able to get education and access to public services, ***all things which should be provided to everyone.***
*** do not insert opinion but instead give examples of things that are inherently required for sustainable life/citizenship (such as job opportunities)
<br> 30,000 children from the half million are under the age of one, ***meaning that they will have to face the conflict of having nothing to identify as.***
*** remove
<br> If this conflict continues to linger, those ***kids*** would most likely not have access to formal education ***and/or job***  opportunities.
*** change to: children
*** change to: and
<br> Website:  https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2018/12/see-rohingya-babies-born-without-home/ 

<br> No Place to Call Home
<br> In Bangladesh, children of the Rohingyan people are identified neither as Bangladeshi nor Burmese at birth due to neither country taking responsibility for them. About 736,000 people have fled into Bangladesh are not even recognized as refugees. Because of this, they aren't able to get education and access to public services. If this conflict continues to linger, those children would most likely not have access to formal education and job opportunities.
<br> Website:  https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2018/12/see-rohingya-babies-born-without-home/ 


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<br> Endangered Giraffes
<br> Because if poaching and land usage change, Masai giraffes from Kenya and Tanzania are now endangered.
<br> Although poaching is illegal, some continue to do so to get their hide, meat, bones, and tails.
<br> The Masai giraffe population had significantly decreased by about 50 percent in the last three decades.
<br> The giraffe population in all of Africa had also gone don’t by about 40 percent as well, proving how severe this conflict is.
<br> Being one of the most iconic and quintessential animals in Africa, the fact that the giraffe population is endangered is very surprising and unexpected.
<br> Giraffe populations had also decreased due to humans engulfing the wild lands, which hurt the crop and lead to more accidents concerning the animals residing in the area.
<br> All in all, humans are the main reason as to why the Masai giraffes are going extinct, as they poach for and hurt the animals and their environment.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/masai-giraffes-subspecies-declared-endangered/

<br> Endangered Giraffes
<br> Because if*** poaching and land usage change, Masai giraffes from Kenya and Tanzania are now endangered.
*** change to: of
<br> Although poaching is illegal, some *** continue to do so to get their hide, meat, bones, and tails.
*** add: people
<br> The Masai giraffe population ***had*** significantly decreased by about 50 percent in the last three decades.
*** change to present tense
<br> The giraffe population in all of Africa had also gone don’t by about 40 percent as well, proving how severe this conflict is.***
*** connect to previous sentence
<br> Being one of the most iconic and quintessential animals in Africa, the fact that the giraffe population is endangered is very surprising and unexpected.***
*** remove sentence
<br> Giraffe populations had also decreased due to humans engulfing the wild lands, which hurt the crop and lead to more accidents concerning the animals residing in the area.***
*** remove sentence
<br> All in all, humans are the main reason as to why the Masai giraffes are going extinct, as they ***poach for and hurt the animals and their environment.***
*** change 'as they poach the animals and engulf wild lands for profit. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/masai-giraffes-subspecies-declared-endangered/

<br> Endangered Giraffes
<br> Because of poaching and land usage change, Masai giraffes from Kenya and Tanzania are now endangered. Although poaching is illegal, some people continue to do so to get their hide, meat, bones and tails. The Masai giraffe population has significantly decreased by about 50 percent in the last three decades, at the same time as the giraffe population in all of Africa having gone down 40 percent. All in all, humans are the main reason as to why the Masai giraffes are going extinct, as they poach the animals and engulf wild lands for profit. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2019/07/masai-giraffes-subspecies-declared-endangered/



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<br> Silly Words
<br> Can certain words make you giggle or laugh?
<br> Have you ever wondered what makes them so silly?
<br> Psychologists Chris Westbury and Geoff Hollis from the University of Alberta in Canada conducted a study to figure this out.
<br> After studies and questionnaires done, they found out that how the word looks and sounds has a lot to do with how silly a word is considered.
<br> Words’ endings that sound like “oo” or “le” can often make the whole sentence seem funny.
<br> Words can seem silly and funny, and it’s all based on how it sounds and looks to the reader.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/data-show-what-makes-a-word-funny/

<br> Silly Words
<br> Can certain words make you giggle or laugh?
<br> Have you ever wondered what makes them so silly?***
*** combine with first sentence
<br> Psychologists Chris Westbury and Geoff Hollis from the University of Alberta in Canada conducted a study to figure this out.***
<br> After studies and questionnaires done, they found out that how the word looks and sounds has a lot to do with how silly a word is considered.***
*** combine the above two sentences
<br> ***Words’ endings that sound like*** “oo” or “le” can often make the whole sentence seem funny.
*** Change to: Words ending with
<br> Words can seem silly and funny, and it’s ***all*** based on how it sounds and looks to the reader.
*** change to 'mostly'
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/data-show-what-makes-a-word-funny/

<br> Silly Words
<br> Can certain words make you giggle or laugh, and have you wondered what makes them so silly? Psychologists Chris Westbury and Geoff Hollis from the University of Alberta in Canada conducted a study to find out that how the word looks and sounds has a lot to do with how silly a word is considered. Words ending "oo" or "le" can often make the whole sentence seem funny. Words can seem silly and funny, and it's msotly based on how it sounds and looks to the reader. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/data-show-what-makes-a-word-funny/



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<br> Tiny Apocalypse
<br> Lori Nix and Kathleen Gerber are architects that make small scale models on how the apocalypse would look.
<br> Why?
<br> Nix stated, “we want [them] to contemplate the present. Do we still have a future? Will we be able to save ourselves?”
<br> They want people to question how the apocalypse would be and whether they can see themselves in it, causing them to think on how to prevent it.
<br> Their inspirations come from everyday things, like riding the subway or eating at a restaurant, and then picturing how that place would look during the apocalypse.
<br> To express the images in their head, they design how every little detail would be and build it exactly how they imagined.
<br> All in all, their photos and work are not to incite fear or hate, but to get the public thinking.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/04/miniature-models-city-after-apocalypse/

<br> Tiny Apocalypse
<br> Lori Nix and Kathleen Gerber are architects that make small scale models on how the apocalypse would look.
<br> Why?***
*** remove sentence 
<br> Nix stated, “we want [them] to contemplate the present. Do we still have a future? Will we be able to save ourselves?”
<br> They want people to question how the apocalypse would be and whether they can see themselves in it, causing them to think on how to prevent it.***
*** remove sentence
<br> Their inspirations come from everyday things, like riding the subway or eating at a restaurant, and then picturing how that place would look during the apocalypse.
<br> To express the images in their head, they design how every little detail would be and build it exactly how they imagined.***
*** remove sentence
<br> All in all, their photos and work are not *** to incite fear or hate, but to get the public thinking.
*** add: meant
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/04/miniature-models-city-after-apocalypse/

<br> Tiny Apocalypse
<br> Lori Nix and Kathleen Gerber are architects that make small scale models on how the apocalypse would look. Nix stated, "we want [them] to contemplate the present. Do we still have a future? Will we be able to save ourselves?" Their inspirations come from everyday things, like riding the subway or eating at a restaurant, and then picturing how that place would look during the apocalypse. All in all, their photos and work are not meant to incite fear or hate, but to get the public thinking. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2017/04/miniature-models-city-after-apocalypse/


----





<br> Plastic Straw Conflict
<br> To address the global plastic waste problem, several places banned the use of plastic straws.
<br> Just how much harm can plastic straws do?
<br> They harm sea-life and sea animals, since they break down into micro-plastics that are very commonly found on Earth.
<br> However, it is not too late to make a difference!
<br> If one MUST use a straw, there a lot of cleaner and healthier options.
<br> A few of these options are the use of metal, paper, silicone, glass, hard plastic, and bamboo.
<br> Because of the threat it poses on sea-life and nature, many switch their plastic straws for cleaner options that are better for the environment.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/rethinking-plastic-straws-consider-these-options/

<br> Plastic Straw Conflict
<br> To address the global plastic waste problem, several ***places*** *** banned the use of plastic straws.
*** change to 'establishments' 
*** add: have
<br> Just how much harm can plastic straws do?***
*** remove sentence
<br> They harm sea-life and sea animals, since they break down into micro-plastics that are very commonly found on Earth.
*** reword and attach to first sentence
<br> However, it is not too late to make a difference!
*** remove sentence
<br> If one MUST use a straw, there a lot of cleaner and healthier options.
*** reword sentence
<br> A few of these options ***are the use of*** metal, paper, silicone, glass, hard plastic, and bamboo.
*** change to: include
<br> Because of the threat it poses on sea-life and nature, many *** ***switch*** their plastic straws for cleaner options that are better for the environment.
*** add: people
*** change to: have switched
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/rethinking-plastic-straws-consider-these-options/

<br> Plastic Straw Conflict
<br> To address the global plastic waste problem, several establishments have banned the use of plastic straws, which harm sea-life when they break down into micro-plastics. There have been found to be many more cleaner and healthier options. A few of these options include metal, paper, silicone, glass, hard plastic, and bamboo. Because of the threat it poses on sea-life and nature, many people have switched their plastic straws for cleaner options that are better for the environment. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/rethinking-plastic-straws-consider-these-options/



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<br> Girls in Space
<br> Women going out into space seems like a bizarre idea, regardless of the fact that they make up about 11% of the astronauts sent into orbit.
<br> An even more bizarre idea is a full-female mission into space.
<br> However, that may be more effective than an all-man crew for several reasons.
<br> Because of their overall smaller physique, they would have less problems when launching into space.
<br> Additionally, women typically possess traits useful for long trips, making them emotionally healthy.
<br> Therefore, women are believed to be more capable of going into a space mission than men.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/space-travel-four-ways-women-are-a-better-fit-than-men/

<br> Girls in Space
<br> Women going out into space ***seems*** like a bizarre idea ***, regardless of the fact that they make up about 11% of the astronauts sent into orbit.
*** change to: may seem
*** add: to some
<br> ***An*** even more ***bizarre*** idea is a full-female mission ***into*** space.
*** remove 'An'
*** change to: of a radical idea 
*** change to: to
<br> However, that may be more effective than an all-man crew for several reasons.***
*** change period to colon
<br> Because of their overall smaller physique, they would have less problems when launching into space.
*** attach to previous sentence
<br> Additionally, women typically possess traits useful for long trips, making them emotionally healthy. 
*** reword and attach to previous sentence
<br> Therefore, women are believed to be more capable of going ***into*** a space mission than men.
*** change to: on
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/space-travel-four-ways-women-are-a-better-fit-than-men/

<br> Girls in Space
<br> Women going out into space may seem like a bizarre idea to some, regardless of the fact that they make up about 11% of the astronauts sent into orbit. Even more of a radical idea is a full-female mission to space. However, that may be more effective than an all-man crew for several reasons: because of their overall smaller physique, they would less problems when launching into space, and women typicaly possess traits useful for long trips, keeping them emotionally healthy during the mission. Therefore, women are believed to be more capable going on a space mission than men. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2019/07/space-travel-four-ways-women-are-a-better-fit-than-men/



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<br> A Woman in Charge
<br> Begum Samru is moderately forgotten today, but the Bhagirath Palace is one of the few landmarks that commemorate her.
<br> Who is Begum Samru?
<br> Begum Samru was a very powerful commander of over 3,000 troops and maintained that power even while being a female.
<br> Today, 78 women hold seats in India’s Parliament, which is not even close to equal to men, who hold the remaining 465 seats.
<br> Many of the people who know of Begum Samru respect her highly as a woman who was able to differentiate her supreme rule aside from the other rulers while maintaining her power.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/07/india-forgotten-power-broker-begum-samru/

<br> A Woman in Charge
<br> Begum Samru is moderately forgotten today, but the Bhagirath Palace is one of the few landmarks that commemorate her.
*** remove sentence
<br> Who is Begum Samru?
<br> ***Begum Samru*** was a very powerful *** commander of over 3,000 troops and maintained that power ***even while being a female.***
*** change to: she
*** add: female
*** change to: during the late 18th and early 19th centuries.
<br> Today, 78 women hold seats in India’s Parliament, which is not even ***close to*** equal to men, who hold the ***remaining*** 465 seats.
*** change to: closely
*** change to: majority
<br> Many of the people who know of Begum Samru respect her highly as a woman who was able to ***differentiate her supreme rule aside from the other rulers while maintaining her power.***
*** change to: do whatever it took to remain in power
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/07/india-forgotten-power-broker-begum-samru/

<br> A Woman in Charge
<br> Who is Begum Samru? She was a very powerful, female commander of over 3,000 troops and maintained that power during the late 18th and early 19th centuries. Today, 78 women hold seats in India's Parliament, which is not even closely equal to men, who hold the majority 465 seats. Many of the people who know of begum Samru respect her highly as a woman who was able to do whatever it took to remain in power. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/culture/2019/07/india-forgotten-power-broker-begum-samru/





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<br> July Fourth
<br> The American Independence Day, commonly called the 4th of July is a celebration that originated from the American Revolution and goes back to the 18th century.
<br> On July 2nd, 1776, Congress decided that it would support the idea of an independent nation.
<br> Just two days on July 4, delegates from all 13 colonies signed the Declaration of Independence. 
<br> The early ways of celebrating the Fourth of July was having concerts, bonfires, and parades, which were all common practices.
<br> However, the War of 1812, which was another war in which America faced Great Britain, enforced it as a national holiday with celebratory events to show American pride.
<br> Since then, Americans all across the nation celebrate the Fourth of July as a prideful celebration, typically lighting up fireworks and having barbecues.
<br> Website: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/holidays/july-4th

<br> July Fourth
*** rename: Fourth of July
<br> The American Independence Day, commonly called the ***4th of July *** is a celebration that ***originated from the American Revolution ***and goes back to*** the 18th century.
*** spell out Fourth
*** add comma
*** use present tense
*** change to: during
<br> On July 2nd, 1776, Congress decided that it would ***support the idea of*** an independent nation.
*** change to: declare themselves
<br> Just two days on July 4, delegates from all ***13 colonies signed the Declaration of Independence. ***
*** spell out thirteen
*** attach to previous sentence
<br> The early ways of celebrating the Fourth of July was having concerts, bonfires, and parades, which were all common practices.
*** remove sentence
<br> ***However,*** the War of 1812, ***which was*** another war in which America faced Great Britain, enforced it as a national holiday with celebratory events to show ***American*** pride.
*** remove word
*** remove words
*** change to: national
<br> Since then, Americans all across the ***nation*** celebrate the Fourth of July ***as a prideful celebration***, typically lighting up fireworks and having barbecues.
*** change to: country
*** remove phrase
<br> Website: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/holidays/july-4th

<br> Fourth of July
<br> The American Independence Day, commonly called the Fourth of July, is a celebration that originates from the American Revolution during the 18th century. On July 2nd, 1776, Congress decided that it would declare themselves an independent nation, and two days later, delegates from all thirteen colonies signed the Declaration of Independence. The War of 1812, another war in which America faced Great Britain, enforced it as a national holiday with celebratory events to show national pride. Since then, Americans all across the country celebrate the Fourth of July, typically lighting up fireworks and having barbecues.
<br> Website: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/holidays/july-4th



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<br> The Eastern quoll nearly gets extinct.
<br> The Eastern quoll, an adorable little spotted Australian Marsupial, went extinct fifty years ago in the mainland of Australia.
<br> Quolls certainly have a signature look, a face of a mouse, ears of a lemur, a cat-like body and white polka dots on their thick fur.
<br> Quolls are nocturnal and are not picky eaters; they eat insects or carrion, and will hunt rats, rabbits, birds, and lizards—even animals larger than themselves.
<br> For the first time in five decades, the eastern quoll has been introduced back into the wild. 
<br> Forty quolls were moved from Tasmania to the Booderee National Park to ensure a increase in this population.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/animals-Australia-quolls-marsupials-extinct-reproduction/

<br> The Eastern ***quoll nearly ***gets*** extinct.***
*** capitalize animal name and rest of sentence
*** change to: goes
*** remove period
<br> The Eastern quoll, an adorable little spotted Australian ***Marsupial***, went extinct fifty years ago in ***the*** mainland ***of*** Australia.
*** lower case
*** remove word
*** remove word
<br> Quolls certainly have a signature look***,*** ***a*** face of a mouse, ears of a lemur, a cat-like body *** and white polka dots on their thick fur.
*** change to colon
*** change to: the
*** add comma
<br> Quolls are nocturnal and are not picky eaters; they eat insects or carrion, and will hunt rats, rabbits, birds, and lizards—even animals larger than themselves.***
***shorten sentence and attach to previous sentence
<br> For the first time in five decades, the eastern quoll has been introduced back into the wild.***
*** add: by the Australian government
<br> Forty quolls were moved from Tasmania to the Booderee National Park to ensure a ***increase in this*** population.
*** change to: revival of their
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/animals-Australia-quolls-marsupials-extinct-reproduction/

<br> The Eastern Quoll Nearly Goes Extinct
<br> The Eastern quoll, an adorable little spotted Australian marsupial, wet extinct fifty years ago  in mainland Australia. Quolls certainly have a signature look: the face of a mouse, ears of a lemur, a cat-like body, and white polka dots on their thick fur, and they're also nocturnal. For the first time in five decades, the eastern quoll has been introduced back into the wild by the Australian government. Forty quolls were moved from Tasmania to the Booderee National Park to ensure a revival of their population. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/animals-Australia-quolls-marsupials-extinct-reproduction/


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<br> Reasons why Rhinos are having a hard time
<br> Since rhinos are endangered, finding a mate is harder for them.
<br> They live in four isolated regions scattered across 10,000 square miles so even finding another is difficult.
<br> Many wildlife organizations are teaming up to breed rhinos in sanctuaries and increase the population of them.
<br> Due to poaching, as many as seventy percent of the rhino decreased through the years.
<br> A island in Indonesia called Sumatra has less than seventy-five rhinos in the whole place.
<br> The population of those rhinos decreased hugely.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/10/explore-atlas-sumatran-rhino-critically-endangered-conservation/

<br> Reasons why Rhinos are having a hard time
*** capitalize every word of this sentence
<br> Since rhinos*** are endangered, finding a mate is harder for them.
*** change to rhinoceroses 
<br> They live in four isolated regions scattered across 10,000 square miles*** so even finding *** another is difficult.
*** add comma
*** add 'one'
<br> Many wildlife organizations are teaming up to breed rhinos in sanctuaries ***and increase the population of them.***
*** change to: to increase their population
<br> Due to poaching, as many as seventy percent of the rhino decreased through the years.***
*** reword and attach to previous sentence
<br> A island in Indonesia called Sumatra has less than seventy-five rhinos in the whole place.
*** remove sentence
<br> The population of those rhinos decreased hugely.***
*** rephrase
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/10/explore-atlas-sumatran-rhino-critically-endangered-conservation/

<br> Reasons Why Rhinos Are Having A Hard Time
<br> Since rhinoceroses are endangered, finding a mate is harder for them. They live in four isolated regions scattered across 10,000 square miles, so even finding one another is difficult. Many wildlife organizations are teaming up to breed rhinos in sanctuaries to increase their population after being decreased by poaching throughout the years. Their population has dropped drastically. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/magazine/2018/10/explore-atlas-sumatran-rhino-critically-endangered-conservation/





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<br> Is shark an ingredient in your cosmetics?
<br> It is known that millions of deep-sea sharks are killed for multimillion dollar industries every year but there has also been found in sunscreen, lipstick, foundation, lotion, and many other cosmetics.
<br> Common ingredients for cosmetics is oil, known as squalene, derived from shark livers.
<br> Squalene is a key moisturizing agent for it is high in antioxidants and fatty acid.
<br> Shark-sourced squalene can be found in other types of consumer goods, such as vaccines but ninety percent is used in cosmetics.
<br> Thankfully, many corporations in the western world have made the switch to plant-based squalane, even though it is about thirty percent more expensive to produce.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/sharks-news-cosmetics-squalene-health/

<br> Is shark an ingredient in your cosmetics?***
*** capitalize sentence
<br> It is known that millions of deep-sea sharks are killed ***for*** ***multimillion dollar industries ***every year but there has also been found in sunscreen, lipstick, foundation, lotion, and many other cosmetics.***
*** change to: by 
*** change to multi-million
*** reword
<br> Common ingredients for cosmetics is oil, known as squalene, derived from shark livers.***
*** Reword
<br> Squalene is a key moisturizing agent for it is high in antioxidants and fatty acid.***
*** attach to previous sentence
<br> ***Shark-sourced squalene*** can *** be found in other types of consumer goods, ***such as vaccines but ninety percent is used in cosmetics.
*** change to: it
*** add: also
*** reword, flip second half of the sentence to the beginning
<br> ***Thankfully,*** many corporations in the western world have made the switch to plant-based ***squalane, even though it is about thirty percent more expensive to produce.
*** Remove 'thankfully'
*** 'squalene'
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/sharks-news-cosmetics-squalene-health/

<br> Is Shark An Ingredient In Your Cosmetics?
<br> It is known that millions of deep-sea sharks are killed by multi-million, but every year people are finding ingredients made from shark livers in their sunscreen, lotions, and cosmetics. Cosmetics commonly include squalene, derived from the animal's liver. It can also be found in vaccines, but ninety percent of its used is in cosmetics. Many corporations in the western world have made the switch to plant-based squalene, even though it is about thirty percent more expensive to produce. 
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/07/sharks-news-cosmetics-squalene-health/



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<br> Ancient way of catching fish.
<br> The ancient Japanese fishing method that uses birds to catch fish is called ukai.
<br> Even though this method has been around for 1,300 years, it is now practiced because it is a popular tourist attraction.
<br> Fishers get the fish by placing a tie on the cormorant’s neck and attaching a leash on the bird.
<br> This way when the cormorants catch the fishes, they can only swallow the small fishes and the big fishes in their mouths get taken by the fisher.
<br> Actor Charlie Chaplin has also described this method as “Japan’s highest art form”.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/ukai-comorant-fishing-japan-news/

<br> Ancient way of catching fish.***
*** capitalize sentence
<br> The ancient Japanese fishing method that uses birds to catch fish is called ukai***.
*** move subject to the front of the sentence
<br> Even though this method has been around for ***1,300 years, it is now practiced because it is a popular tourist attraction.
*** spell out
*** attach to previous sentence
<br> Fishers ***get the fish by*** ***placing*** a tie on ***the cormorant’s*** neck and ***attaching*** a leash on ***the*** bird.
*** remove
*** change to 'place'
change to: 'a bird called a cormorant's'
*** attach
*** change to 'on it'
<br> ***This way*** when*** the cormorants catch*** the fishes***, they can only swallow the small fishes*** and the big fishes*** in their mouths*** get*** taken by the fisher.
*** remove
*** capitalize
*** catches
*** use singular 
*** use singuar
*** use singular
*** use singular
*** 'gets'
<br> Actor Charlie Chaplin has also described this method as “Japan’s highest art form”.
*** flip end of sentence to the beginning
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/ukai-comorant-fishing-japan-news/

<br> Ancient Way Of Catching Fish
<br> Ukai is an ancient Japanese fishing method that's been around thirteen hundred years using birds, and is now a popular tourist attraction. Fishers place a tie on a bird called a cormorant's neck and attach a leash on it. When the cormorant catches the fish, they can only swallow the small fish and the big fish in their mouth gets taken by the fisher. "Japan's highest art form" is how it was apparently described by actor Charlie Chaplin.
<br> Website: https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/2018/08/ukai-comorant-fishing-japan-news/



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<br> Breeding reorganized dog’s brains.
<br> Since the first wolf was domesticated an estimated 12,000 years ago, variety of dogs were bred and many more different kinds of dogs were made.
<br> A new brain-imaging study examined the carcasses of eleven different dogs and breeds.
<br> Scientists found that the brains of many short-snouted breeds have shifted forwards about fifteen degrees.
<br> Researchers say that this perhaps significantly alters the dogs' all-important source of smell.
<br> It is a wonder on how breeding can change a something like a sense of smell; researchers say that is a question to look forward into.
<br> Website: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/08/100803-dogs-brains-changed-breeding-science/

<br> Breeding reorganized ***dog’s*** brains.***
*** change to dogs'
*** capitalize
<br> Since the first wolf was domesticated an estimated ***12,000*** years ago, ***variety*** of dogs ***were*** bred and many more different kinds ***of dogs were*** made.
*** spell out
*** varieties 
*** change to: have been
*** remove
<br> A new brain-imaging study examined the carcasses of eleven different ***dogs*** ***and*** breeds.
*** singular
*** remove
<br> Scientists found that the brains of many short-snouted breeds have shifted forwards about fifteen degrees.
*** reword and attach to previous sentence
<br> Researchers say ***that*** this perhaps significantly alters the dogs' all-important source of smell.
*** remove 
*** this sentence is too similar to the original and needs to be reworded to avoid plagiarism
<br> It is a wonder ***on*** how breeding can change ***a*** something like a sense of smell; ***researchers say that is a question to look forward into.***
*** remove
*** remove
*** reword
<br> Website: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/08/100803-dogs-brains-changed-breeding-science/

<br> Breeding Reorganize Dogs' Brains
<br> Since the first wolf was domesticated an estimated twelve thousand years ago, varieties of dogs have been bred and many more different kinds made. A new brain-imaging study examined the carcasses of eleven different dog breeds. Scientists found that the brains of many short-snouted breeds have shifted forward about fifteen degrees. Researchers say that this has a significant effect on the dogs' sense of smell. It is a wonder how breeding can change something like a sense of smell; researchers are excited to continue investigating. 
<br> Website: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/08/100803-dogs-brains-changed-breeding-science/




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<br> Can dogs feel our emotions?
<br> It is already known that sometimes dogs yawn when they see others yawn but they don’t know if it is considered a form of empathy or mild stress, as yawning can be caused by anxiety.
<br> In a test it was determined that not only did the dog yawn more to their owners but also yawned less to fake yawns.
<br> In a similar study before, scientists claimed that people yawn more when people they care about yawn. 
<br> So, they believe that contagious yawning is a form of empathizing with people experiencing a feeling.
<br> Elisabetta Palagi, of the Institute of Cognitive Sciences and Technologies in Rome, says "This could be the result of a long process of domestication.”
<br> Website: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/08/130808-yawning-dogs-contagious-animals-empathy-science/

<br> Can dogs feel our emotions?***
*** capitalize sentence
<br> It is already known that sometimes dogs yawn when they see ***others*** ***yawn*** but ***they don’t know*** if it is considered a form of empathy or mild stress, as yawning can be caused by anxiety.
*** change to: people
*** change to: do so,
*** change to: researchers aren't sure 
<br> In a test it was determined that not only did the dog yawn more to their owners *** but also ***yawned*** less to fake yawns.
*** add comma
*** change to: responded
<br> In a similar study before***, scientists claimed that people yawn more when ***people*** they care about yawn***. ***
*** change to: beforehand
*** change to: somebody
*** change to: does it
*** attach to previous sentence
<br> So, ***they*** believe that contagious yawning *** is a form of empathizing with people experiencing a feeling.
*** change to: researchers
*** add: in dogs
<br> Elisabetta Palagi, of the Institute of Cognitive Sciences and Technologies in Rome, says "This could be the result of a long process of domestication.”
<br> Website: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/08/130808-yawning-dogs-contagious-animals-empathy-science/

<br> Can Dogs Feel Our Emotions?
<br> It is already known that sometimes dogs yawn when they see people do so, but researchers aren't sure if it is considered a form of empathy or mild stress, as yawning can be caused by anxiety. In a test it was determined that not only did the dog yawn more to their owners, but also responded less to fake yawns, and in a similar study beforehand, scientists claimed that people yawn more when somebody they care about does it. So, researchers believe that contagious yawning in dogs is a form of empathizing with people experiencing a feeling. Elisabetta Palagi, of the Institute of Cognitive Sciences and Technologies in Rome, says "This could be the result of a long process of domestication." 
<br> Website: https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2013/08/130808-yawning-dogs-contagious-animals-empathy-science/





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<br> Illegal Tiger Trade.
<br> Undercover investigators with the Wildlife Justice Commission visited a tiger farm where people were illegally selling tigers that are hidden in a secret room.
<br> Fewer than 4,000 tigers remain in the wild, but as many as 8,000 are held in captive facilities across China, Laos, Thailand, and Vietnam.
<br> The bones of captive tigers are often used for wine or medicinal paste.
<br> The skin of the tiger is used for furniture décor such as rugs or wall hangings.
<br> The teeth may be set in gold and turned into jewelry.
<br> Being able to wear, decorate, and use tiger parts led to people wanting to have them, however this also leads to tiger extinction.
***

*** Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism. 




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<br> Armored dinosaur found.
<br> A plant-eating dinosaur was found in a subtropical continent resembled today's Mississippi. 
<br> More than seventy-five million years ago, this dinosaur had lived and died on what scientists now call Laramidia, which was a continent that no longer exists.
<br> The fossils consist of the animal's skull and parts of its skeleton, including its tail club, however the most prominent feature of the dino is the bony knobs dotting its skull that resemble pyramids.
<br>  Paleontologists named the new ankylosaurid species, Akainacephalus johnsoni, which is also known as “Johnson’s thorny head”.
<br> Now, the animal's species name honors Randy Johnson, the volunteer fossil preparer who spent thousands of hours cleaning up the dinosaur's skull and lower jaw.
<br>The discovery was amazing.🦕***

***Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism.





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<br> Spice enduring mammal.
<br> Scientists has discovered that humans are not the only mammals who can eat spicy food; Chinese tree screws were found to be able to eat chili peppers.🌶 
<br> Researchers found  a mutation in the species’ ion channel receptor, TRPV1, that makes it less sensitive to capsaicin.
<br> That acts as a pain receptor on the tongues and throats of mammals, alerting the brain when it comes in contact with harmful heat.
<br> Scientists say that the mutation is a evolutionary adaptation to expand the range of the tree screws diet.
<br> With their mutations, tree shrews don’t feel as much pain from spicy food.
<br> If you like spicy food then, you have something in common with the Chinese tree screw!***

***Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism.





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Halloween sky 

In the sky's of Halloween night there is said to have ghostly figures shown around the constellation Cepheus. Many star constellations are known back as far as the Aztec civilizations. They believed it as legends associated with the moon. What is said to be creepier is that the monster seems to be winking at the star gazers. Even with these theories, keen eyed trick-o-treaters often search for a ghoul.🎃***

***Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism, and needs to be properly formatted.
 




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Kissing Kits

On the field of Prince Edward Island located in Canada, there were red fox kits playing with each other. On average there could be up to six fox kits in one litter. They could stay with their parents for up to seven months. The young offspring can be called kits,cubs,whelps,or pups. The red foxes are known to be intelligent and sly. 🐺***

 ***Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism, and needs to be properly formatted.




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Hello, Spring 

Spring is the time of year when Sakura trees, are also called Cherry Blossom trees. Their flowers bloom the most beautiful soft pink color. Many birds come to visit the trees inspecting the offerings given to them by the radiant blossoms. The cherry blossoms are also the national flower of Japan. From this, the Spring time of year is "Japan's busiest tourist season."🇯🇵🌸***

***Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism, and needs to be properly formatted.




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Earth-sided planet

11 light years away, there is a dim red star called Ross 128b. These dwarf planets are everywhere however what makes it special is the fact that it has seven
Earth sized planets in it orbital embrace. Actually, the closest Earth sized planet in Ross 128b's orbital embrace is Proxima b. This is a great discovery even though all the Earth like planets are nothing like Earth. People still want to find out if Earth has a twin. 🌏 👩👩***

***Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism, and needs to be properly formatted.




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' Prehistoric ' shark captured

A shark with a snake head was captured,pulled from the ocean near Portugal. This shark has more than 300 teeth and was around 5 feet in length. From more than 2000 feet below the surface of the sea, it was hauled by a trawler. These Frilled sharks have been around for more than 80 million years but we still don't have enough information on them. This long, slim "living fossil" also poses a large threat to squid and other fish they are thought to prey on because like their modern cousins(Hammerhead , Great white ect.)they have neddle shaped teeth and the jaws to catch large prey. 🇵🇹***

***Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism, and needs to be properly formatted. 




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Whale spa day

While studying the Bowhead whales, Sarah Fortune discovered that like humans, Bowhead whales in the Canadian Article pamper themselves. To get rid of loose and dead skin, Bowhead whales rub themselves against giant boulders. Beluga whales and Ocras (killer whales) were known to do this but this was the first known for Bowhead whales. The whales regularly molt, shedding the top layer of dead skin. These whale especially use rocks on Cumberland sound to exfoliate their skin. 🐋 ***

***Your article needs to include a source to be edited and checked for plagiarism, and needs to be properly formatted.










Tenzing's Page
@@ Line 97: / Line 97: @@
-How to Protect Yourself When Protesting in 2020 <br>
-'''***Similar to the original headline but includes relevant details, just be careful not to copy word for word.'''
-With the rise of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement, more and more police are being deployed to control crowds. <br>
-'''***Edited for fluency.'''
-However, not all of the methods used by the police to disperse crowds are safe for the protesters themselves, as it can hurt them. <br>
-'''***Edited for clarity.'''
-There a few methods for protecting oneself when protesting. <br>
-'''***Edited for tone to avoid using second person "you."'''
-Police will throw chemical irritants, flash grenades and shoot rubber bullets, so it is best to wear some sort of protective eyewear such as goggles (swimming, skiing, or construction) to avoid unwanted things from getting in one's eyes. <br>
-'''***Edited for punctuation to remove oxford comma and tone.'''
-It is also advised to wear some earplugs in case the police throw a stun grenade. They can create a loud noise and can cause temporary deafness. <br>
-'''***Edited for tone and word choice.'''
-Masks are highly encouraged, as the world is still in the midst of the coronavirus. Additionally, it can provide a way to remain anonymous, as police wouldn't be able to easily identify who those with masks are. <br>
-'''***Edited for fluency and tone.'''
-Last but not least, individuals should wear long-sleeved shirts and/or pants so their skin won't be heavily affected by the tear gas or pepper spray. <br>
-'''***Edited for tone and fluency.'''
-How to Protect Yourself When Protesting in 2020 <br>
-With the rise of protests in support of the Black Lives Matter Movement, more and more police are being deployed to control crowds. However, not all of the methods used by the police to disperse crowds are safe for the protesters themselves, as it can hurt them. There a few methods for protecting oneself when protesting. Police will throw chemical irritants, flash grenades and shoot rubber bullets, so it is best to wear some sort of protective eyewear such as goggles (swimming, skiing, or construction) to avoid unwanted things from getting in one's eyes. It is also advised to wear some earplugs in case the police throw a stun grenade. They can create a loud noise and can cause temporary deafness. Masks are highly encouraged, as the world is still in the midst of the coronavirus. Additionally, it can provide a way to remain anonymous, as police wouldn't be able to easily identify who those with masks are. Last but not least, individuals should wear long-sleeved shirts and/or pants so their skin won't be heavily affected by the tear gas or pepper spray. <br>
-'''***Try to avoid using "you" as it makes the article sound less formal and this is a more serious topic. Good job overall!'''
-Edited by Nicole Glidden